


Untitled College AU

by peacockcock



Series: Untitled College AU [1]
Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), American Idol RPF, Kris Allen (Musician)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-28
Updated: 2011-03-28
Packaged: 2017-10-17 08:19:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 96,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/174803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peacockcock/pseuds/peacockcock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU in which Kris goes to California for college and is Adam's first love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Promise you won’t forget about me?” Katy asks, her big eyes looking up at him through her long, blond eyelashes.

Kris smiles, shaking his head. “Baby, you really think I could forget about you?” He brings his hands up to cup her face gently, his thumbs brushing the tears away from the swollen pink skin around her eyes, leaning down to press his lips against hers. “Gunna miss you so much.”

Kris isn’t sure how he was going to function without Katy. He hasn’t gone longer than a week without seeing her since they were in fifth grade, and now, he is going to be all the way across the country. Yeah, they’ll have the phone and the internet, but it won’t be the same. He won’t be able to hold her small, soft body in his arms whenever he wants, be able to bury his nose in her hair and smell her strawberry scented shampoo, or feel her tiny fingers tangle with his.

He’s going to miss it all so much.

“Kris!” He hears his father’s voice calling him from downstairs. His body tenses up and he swallows the lump in his throat. “We’ve gotta get going!”

This is it. This is goodbye.

“I’ll call you as soon as my plane lands, okay?” Kris smiles down at her and presses his lips against her forehead. “I love you, baby.”

She falls into his arms and buries her face in his neck. “I love you, too,” she whispers. “So much.”

They head downstairs, hand in hand. He finds his mom sitting at the kitchen table, wiping her tears with a tissue. “Don’t cry, mama,” he lets go of Katy’s hand and walks over to his mom, wrapping his arms around her in a big hug.

She doesn’t even say anything back, she just holds him tightly.

“Kim, you’re going to have to let him go eventually,” his dad laughs softly behind them. “If we don’t leave now, he’ll miss his flight.”

Kim lets go and wipes the tears from her face with the back of her hands. “Okay, go,” she waves her wrist in a ‘get out of here’ gesture, “before I change my mind and make him stay.”

Kris leans in and kisses her cheek. “Love you, mom,” he squeezes her hand before turning around to leave the house with his father, Katy following close behind.

His dad looks back and forth between the two of them and holds up a finger. “One minute, okay guys?”

Katy forces a smile. “So you promise you won’t leave me for some hot California girl?”

Kris laughs. “Don’t worry, babe. Orange skin and fake boobs don’t really do it for me.” His face softens as he looks into her pink, glassy eyes. He feels like he wants to throw up and cry at the same time. Her hair is a blonde mess, her makeup is smudged around her eyes, and she’s just so fucking beautiful. “I guess this is it.”

“No goodbyes,” she looks at him sternly. “It’s I’ll see you later,” she says and gets on her tippy toes to capture his mouth in a kiss, “and I love you.”

“I’ll see you later,” he says once they break the kiss. “And I love you.”

They finally pull away from each other and Kris gets into his dad’s truck. He can hardly breathe when his dad puts it in reverse and starts to pull out of the driveway. As they drive up the street, he watches Katy, his house, his entire life, getting smaller and smaller through the rear view mirror until it eventually disappears.

* * *

California is hot. Like, really hot. And there are palm trees everywhere. Kris doesn’t know if he has ever even seen a palm tree in real life before now. It’s all so much different than Arkansas, the people, the smell, the energy around him. Everyone just seems so happy and excited to be here.

He’s pretty sure he can end up falling in love with this place.

When the taxi drops him off at his dorm, he pulls out all of his luggage and drops it on the pavement. He needs to figure out a way to carry two duffel bags, a book bag, and his guitar without falling flat on his face. He’s pretty sure that wouldn’t make a good impression on his first day in a new city. He can already hear people whispering in the hallways ‘isn’t that the boy who fell?’ whenever he walked by. His cheeks redden just thinking about it.

Kris somehow manages to strap a duffel bag and his book bag on his back and carries the other bag and his guitar in his hands. As he looks around, he notices all of the parents helping their kids, carrying their bags, hugging and kissing them goodbye. It makes his stomach hurt a little. He wishes his parents were there with him to help him find everything and get him settled. It hasn’t even been a whole day and he misses them, and Katy. A sudden wave of nausea hits him hard, he’s homesick already. This is what he wants, though. It’s what he has worked his ass off for in his last few years of school.

On the plane ride here, he pretty much memorized the map of the school, so he has a pretty good idea where he is headed. He feels like an idiot walking around with bags bigger than him, but nobody seems to notice, or they just don’t care.

After walking for a few minutes, he finally finds the building his dorm is in. It’s huge and looks pretty nice from the outside. He was afraid he’d be staying somewhere with mold and cockroaches.

Kris puts his bag down to open the door and then holds it open with his foot as he reaches back to grab his bag. His arms hurt and the bag is heavy and he can’t quite figure out how to keep the door open and bring everything inside at the same time. Now he really feels like an idiot.

“You need some help?” a voice comes from behind him. Kris turns around and sees a boy standing there wearing a black fedora and an amused smile on his face. “You look like you’re having some trouble.”

“Yeah,” Kris says, handing the boy his guitar so he can use both hands to pick up his bag. “Thanks.”

Kris opens the door and turns to the boy when they both get inside. He drops the bag on the floor and holds out his hand. “I’m Kris.”

“Matt,” he says, a huge smile on his face. “You a freshman?”

“Yeah, are you?”

“Nope, sophomore,” Matt says like it’s a really big deal. “Dude, you are gunna love this place. There are parties every night, hot girls. It’s awesome.”

Kris rubs the back of his neck with his hand. “I don’t think the hot girls thing will benefit me much.”

Matt gives him a look. “Why no-oh! So you’re gay?”

Kris’s eyes get huge and he shakes his head. “Wait, what? No, no! I’m straight,” he isn’t sure why he suddenly feels so anxious and embarrassed, because he’s not gay so it’s not like he’s lying or anything. But he finds himself stumbling over his words. “I just-I have a girlfriend back home.”

Matt laughs, “Chill, dude. It was just a question.”

“Sorry,” he mumbles.

Great, Kris thinks, first dude he meets probably thinks he’s a homophobe. He isn’t, though. Not at all. He’s just never really around gay people. There aren’t that many in Arkansas. He is fine with it. In 11th grade he was sort of friends with the gay boy, Jayden, in his geometry class. They even worked on a project together after school and Kris ate dinner at his house.

“So…” Matt says after a few uncomfortable seconds of silence, “want me to help you bring this shit to your room?”

“Yeah, sure,” Kris says and heads over to the elevator, pressing the button.

It is quiet and Kris not really sure what to say. Thankfully, Matt starts talking. “So you play?” He asks, nodding to Kris’s guitar.

“Yeah,” Kris says, happy the topic came up. He can talk about his guitar and music for hours. “I sing a little, too.”

Matt’s face lights up, “Dude, that’s awesome. I’ve never been very good at the guitar but I kick ass at the piano,” he has a huge grin on his face and Kris can’t help but smile too. “And I sing too. We should jam sometime.”

Kris gets excited, all of the embarrassment from a few minutes ago is gone, “Definitely, man.”

On their way up to Kris’s floor they talk about the kind of music they play. They both write some of their own songs, but play mostly covers. Kris suddenly feels so happy to be here. He realizes that a lot of people are here for the same thing, for music, for nothing other than trying to live the dream and to make it big.

They get off at his floor and walk down the hallway to find his room. When they do, Kris knocks on the door, even though he’s not sure why because it’s his room. A few seconds later, the door opens.

“Well, hello there,” says the boy who opened the door. Kris can feel his eyes as they roam up and down his body, making him blush. The boy is small, even smaller than him. He has on a skin tight sleeveless black shirt and even tighter jeans. “Matty, what have I done to deserve this kind of room service?”

“Brad, don’t scare the kid,” Matt says, chuckling, “he’s new.”

Brad raises his eyebrow. “Fresh meat, huh?”

Kris ducks his head. He is pretty sure his face is a really dark shade of red right now. “I-I’m, uh, your new roommate.”

Brad’s face splits into a shit eating grin and holds out his hand. “Well, roomie. I don’t think I got your name.”

“Kris,” he says and reaches out to shake his hand. He can’t help but notice how soft his hand is.

Matt leans down to whisper in his hear, but loudly enough so Brad can hear him. “If I were you, I’d beg for a new room.”

Brad slaps Matt’s arm. “You bitch! No way. I had to room with that fat, pimply guy all last year. Kris is like God’s way of paying me back for that torture.”

Matt just laughs. “Well, anyway,” he says and turns to Kris. “I’ve gotta go meet my new roommate so I guess I’ll leave you two alone. I swear Brad doesn’t bite or anything. He’s just a bit… much sometimes.”

Brad puts his hand on his hip and rolls his eyes, “Standing right here.”

Matt hands the guitar back to Kris, “Let me know if you wanna hang out sometime. Brad has my number.”

Kris nods, “Yeah, okay. See you later.”

When Matt walks away, Kris suddenly feels a little uncomfortable. Probably because he can practically feel Brad undressing him with his eyes.

“So, you gunna come in?” Brad asks, standing to the side to let Kris through.

It’s a nice dorm room. Not too small and it’s really clean. Well, his side of the room is. Brad’s has clothes everywhere and candles all over the place. It feels comfortable, though. Almost like he belongs there.

“I swear I’m not going to try to jump you in your sleep or anything,” Brad says as he settles himself on his zebra print sheets.

“Well, that’s good,” Kris smiles. “I probably wouldn’t notice anyway. I sleep like a log.”

Brad laughs like it was one of the funniest things he has ever heard. “Oh my god, how are you even real?” he shakes his head and leans back on his elbows. “Oh! You have to meet our neighbors. Since, you know, we have to share a bathroom with them and all,” he gets up and heads towards the door that Kris assumes is the bathroom. “It’s totally cool, though. They’re my friends and Adam is the only one who hogs the bathroom for hours at a time.”

Kris was nervous about the bathroom situation. He has a weird thing about dirty showers and gross toilets. It was clean, though, which makes Kris happy.

“Knock, knock,” Brad says, not even bothering to actually knock before he walks into the room. Kris follows him, but stands in the doorway. “I have someone I’d like you to- Adam what the fuck are you doing?”

Kris looks in and sees a tall boy crouched over the sink with a towel wrapped around his neck and black gunky stuff all in his hair.

“What the fuck does it look like I’m doing?” he snaps back at Brad. “I’m dying my hair.”

“Oh, well,” Brad starts, “stop for a minute and introduce yourself to my new roommate.”

Adam places the bottle with even more black gunky stuff in it on the counter and turns around. His hair is sticking up in every direction in thick, black clumps. When he looks at Kris, his face goes kind of slack and his eyes get a little bit bigger. Kris can’t help the warm feeling that curls in his stomach.

“Hi,” Adam says, a soft smile on his lips, “I’m Adam. I’d, uh, shake your hand but…” he holds up his hands covered in plastic gloves and black hair dye.

“I’m Kris,” he says quietly. He has never seen someone with eyes like that before. They’re very blue and he thinks there is a little bit of eyeliner smudged under them. And then he notices Adam’s eyebrows, which are also covered in dye. Kris doesn’t think he has ever met anyone with dyed eyebrows. “Your eyebrows…”

Adam rolls his eyes up as if he can see them, “Oh, yeah,” he lets out a small laugh. “I’m naturally a strawberry blonde and that is so not sexy. I look like I’m twelve, so I have to dye my eyebrows too.”

Kris, again, feels like an idiot. It’s his first time talking to him and it’s about his eyebrows. He can’t help it, though. Adam makes him feel nervous. He’s different than everyone else he has ever met. Boys where he is from don’t dye their eyebrows or wear eyeliner. And then Kris notices his freckles. They are all over his face and arms. Kris even sees some on his lips. He didn’t even know somebody could have freckles on their lips.

“So, where is Tommy?” Brad asks, finally making Kris tear his eyes away from Adam’s face.

Adam, who still has his eyes on Kris, doesn’t seem to hear the question at first. “What?” He asks, “Oh, uh, Tommy went to Subway for dinner. I would’ve told him to get you guys something but I didn’t know you’d be coming over.”

“Well, fuck that,” Brad says. “I’m hungry. Where’s your phone? I’m going to call him.”

“It’s on the bed.”

Brad walks over to Adam’s bed and sprawls out on it like it’s his own, “Kris, what do you want?”

“Um, turkey and cheese?” Kris says. He has never been a big fan of Subway.

Brad clicks his tongue and makes a face, “That’s boring. I’ll get you what I get.”

Brad starts talking to Tommy, leaving Kris standing there, awkwardly, with Adam. When Kris doesn’t say anything, Adam turns back around to the sink and grabs the bottle with the dye. He bends forward over the sink, trying to get the back of his head and it looks like he’s having a difficult time.

“Do you need some help?” Kris asks, taking a few steps closer to Adam. He has no idea what made him ask if he needs help. It’s not like Kris actually knows what to do. He has never dyed hair before, or even see anyone do it.

Adam turns around to look at him, “Um, yeah… I mean, if you want to,” he reaches over on the counter to grab another pair of gloves and hands them to Kris. “You’re gunna have to wear these, though.” Kris puts them on and takes the bottle from Adam, and then stands there unsure of what to do. “It’s pretty self explanatory. Just squeeze the dye on until my whole head is covered with it.”

“Okay,” Kris says and reaches up, squirting some of the dye to the back of Adam’s head. He spreads it around a little with his fingers. As he continues, he notices the little soft hairs in the back of Adam’s neck, and the freckles that are there. A part of him wants to count them, but that would be really weird.

“Adam!” Brad shouts as he snaps Adam’s phone shut. “He’s been here for five minutes and you are already making him do your hair?”

Adam puts his hands up in an ‘I’m innocent!’ gesture, “He offered!”

Brad walks over and plucks the bottle out of Kris’s hand and gives it back to Adam. “Well, I’m going to give our new little friend a tour of our room. Let us know when Tommy gets back with the food.”

Kris feels a little disappointed. In a weird way, he sort of wants to stay there and help Adam with his hair. He shrugs up at Adam before turning away to follow Brad, “Sorry.”

The tour isn't really a tour, not that there is much to see other than two beds, two desks, a closet, and a sink. He spends most of the time unpacking and listening to Brad talk about how the shower doesn't always work, or how the hallways usually smell like B.O. or vomit. Listening to Brad talk does make him feel a little more at home. He figures that as long as Brad is here, he’ll never feel lonely.

Kris digs into his book bag and takes out an envelope of pictures. He reaches in and pulls out the first one, it’s of him and Katy.

He feels Brad sidle up to his side, “Is that your sister?”

“No.”

“Cousin?”

“Nope.”

“Swim team instructor?”

Kris laughs, “No. She’s my girlfriend.”

“Damn.”

-

“Oh my god, Katy,” Kris grins. “It’s so awesome. There are palm trees everywhere and it’s super hot outside. And everyone is so cool.”

“Sounds like fun,” Katy says, sounding happy for him. “Have you made any friends?”

Kris gets even more excited. “I met this guy Matt and he plays piano and sings,” he tells her. “Brad is my roommate and he is nuts, but in a good way. And I met our neighbors, Adam and Tommy. Tommy plays bass and apparently Adam has an awesome voice but he wouldn’t sing for me. Oh, and he dyes his eyebrows.”

“He dyes his eyebrows?”

“Yeah! That’s what I was thinking. I didn’t know people did that. But he is naturally blonde and he dyes his hair black. And he has a ton of freckles all over,” Kris almost feels like he’s telling her a secret about Adam that only a few people know about.

“That’s… nice,” she laughs. “So you like it there?”

“I love it,” Kris says, and then his voice softens. “It would be better if you were here, though.”

Katy lets out an unhappy noise. Kris can practically see her bottom lip poking out in a cute little pout. “I know. I still hate my parents for making me stay here. It’s only been a day and I already miss you. What am I supposed to do until Thanksgiving?”

“I’m sure it will go by fast. We’ll both be taking classes and making friends and stuff,” he goes quiet for a moment. “And I miss you too, babe.”

He looks up when he hears a soft knock on the bathroom door and sees a head of messy black hair peaking out. His lips turn upward into a small smile, “Hey.”

“Hi,” Adam smiles back, but then his eyes travel to the phone in his hand. “Shit, I’m sorry. Did I interrupt?”

“Hm?” He looks down at his phone, almost forgetting about Katy. “Oh, no. It’s fine.”

“I was just…” Adam looks nervous or uncomfortable or something. Kris isn’t sure why. “Brad wanted me to get a DVD because he’s too lazy to get it himself. Is it okay if I look around for it? Or I could come back when you finish your call.”

Kris shakes his head, “No, it’s okay. We were about to hang up, anyway.”

Adam gives him another small smile and makes his way across the room and sits in front of one of Brad’s boxes to dig through all of the movies and CDs. Kris watches him for a moment before turning his attention back to Katy.

“Sorry,” Kris says quietly. “It’s Adam, the one I told you about with the eyebrows.” He looks down at Adam and sees him grinning to himself. Kris smiles too.

“Okay,” Katy sounds a little disappointed. “Then I guess I’ll talk to you tomorrow?”

“I’ll call you after I finish my classes, okay?” Kris lowers his voice to almost a whisper. “Love you.”

“I love you too,” she says right before hanging up.

He throws his phone on the bed and stares at it for a moment. A part of him misses her so much that it hurts. He isn’t really sure how he’ll go until November without seeing her. They’ve been best friends for years and are used to seeing each other every day. The other part of him, though, is so glad to be away from it all. He was starting to feel suffocated by that small town. Everybody knows who he is and everything he does. He needed to get away, to find something new.

“So, was that Katy?” Adam asks, breaking the silence. Earlier when the four of them sat in Adam and Tommy’s room eating, Brad made Kris tell them all about her.

“Yeah.”

“She’s cute,” Adam says, looking up to the picture on Kris’s desk of him and Katy.

Kris smiles, “Yeah, she is.”

There is another long period of silence, the only sound in the room is Adam sorting through a bunch of movies. Kris watches him read the back of one of them. He has truly never seen anyone quite like Adam. It’s not just the eyebrows or the eyeliner or the black nail polish and rings. It’s everything. Like all of the little things Kris has noticed about him from the very few hours they have spent together. The way Adam talks with his hands when he gets excited and the way he laughs. His smile gets so big and his eyes shine even more than usual. When they were all hanging out earlier, Kris found himself trying to say or do things just so he could hear it again.

“What movie are you looking for?” Kris asks, sliding off of his bed and sitting beside Adam. His knee is warm where it is pressed against Adam’s.

“ _Clueless_ ,” Adam grins. “Brad’s favorite.”

“Isn’t that the one where the girl ends up with her brother?”

Adam looks at him with wide eyes, looking somewhat offended, “He is not her brother! He was her step brother or… something. I don’t remember. I haven’t watched it in like two years,” he says. “But, anyway. Totally not her brother. That would be gross and they are so cute together.”

Kris laughs and grabs a handful of DVDs to help him look. Brad has a ton of them. He tries not to look too embarrassed when the first one he sees is a porno with a dude running his tongue up a massive dick on the cover. He hopes Brad will wait to watch that one when Kris isn’t in the room.

“You should play for me sometime,” Adam says. Kris is confused until he sees Adam staring behind him at his guitar leaning against the wall. “I mean… if you want to.”

“No, I mean yeah, I will,” Kris stumbles over his words, suddenly feeling a bit nervous. He never plays for anyone except for Katy and she doesn’t know much about music. He can tell that Adam knows a lot, possibly even more than he does.

“Cool,” Adam ducks his head down, trying to hide the small smile on his lips.

Kris shuffles through the rest of the movies in his hand and realizes that he is holding _Clueless_. He almost hands it over to Adam but, instead, he puts it to the back of the pile in his hands. He likes this time with Adam. Even if it is somewhat awkward and neither of them are quite sure of what to say. It’s strangely comfortable, though. And Kris likes the warm feeling of Adam’s knee pressed up against his.

“Adam!” Brad comes bursting through the door, startling both of them. “What the fuck is taking you so long?”

“I’m still looking, asshole,” Adam turns around and gives him the finger. “If you didn’t have nine million fucking movies it wouldn’t take me so long.”

Since the moment was already ruined, Kris holds the DVD out to Adam, “Found it.”

Brad snatches it from him, “Thank god. Now come on, you two. Tommy promised to give me a back massage but refused to do it while alone in the room with me.”

Adam stands up and reaches his hand down for Kris to take. He looks at it for a moment, covered in freckles and a ring on almost every finger. And the nail polish isn’t black like he thought. It’s a really dark shade of purple and it even sparkles. When Kris places his hand in Adam’s, it’s so warm.

“Thanks,” Kris mumbles when Adam helps him up.

They walk into Adam’s room together. The DVD has already started and Brad is laying on his stomach with Tommy straddling his thighs, pressing his knuckles into Brad’s lower back. “If you keep making those noises,” Tommy warns, “I’m kicking you the fuck out of my bed.”

Adam and Kris both laugh as they climb into Adam’s bed, sitting so close that their thighs are touching. Watching the movie, the sound of Brad’s soft moans in the background, and Adam’s warmth at his side, Kris can’t help but think that this place already feels a lot like home.

* * *

“Wake up!” Kris feels something bounce off his head and his eyes flutter open. Brad is standing next to his bed with his hands on his hips. “I’ve been trying to wake you up for like ten minutes. You really do sleep like a fucking log.”

Kris laughs and closes his eyes again, “Told you.”

“Well if you don’t get up now, you’ll be late for class,” Brad tells him as he sits down on his bed and picks up an issue of Rolling Stone. Brad made Kris write down his schedule so he knows it by heart and will probably never let Kris be late for class. “Do whatever you need to in the bathroom now or else you won’t get to at all. Adam uses it at 10 and you’ll already be graduated by the time he gets out.”

Kris stumbles out of bed and raises his arms as he stretches, revealing a bit of skin where his shirt lifts up. He looks over at Brad and sees him staring at him over his magazine.

“Are you sure you’re straight?” Brad asks, sounding a little hopeful.

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

“This is going to be even worse torture than when I roomed with the fat nerd last year,” he sighs. “At least he wasn’t hot.”

Kris grins, “You think I’m hot?”

“Fuck you,” Brad throws the magazine to the side and flops down on the bed, covering his face with his hand. “And go fix your hair. Your bed head is horrible and I refuse to be seen with you like that.”

Kris’s face hurts from smiling when he gets into the bathroom. He loves to tease Brad. They have only known each other for a few days but Kris knows Brad respects him and would never try anything with him, so Kris likes to push his buttons a little bit.

He gets in the shower and is out in less than ten minutes and wraps the towel around his waist before going back into the room to get his clothes. Just as he walks out, Brad is heading to the door to leave for class. With absolutely no shame whatsoever, Brad’s eyes roam Kris’s wet, half naked body and he shakes his head.

“I’m not going to make it through the semester with you here.”

Kris just laughs.

-

A half hour later Kris is walking into his first class of the day. Yesterday was his first day of classes and he was slightly overwhelmed. High school was difficult for him. He had to study so hard to get the grades he got and this will only be worse. When he was talking to Adam about it, he promised Kris to help him out whenever he needed it. That made Kris feel better because he is pretty sure that Adam is a lot smarter than he is.

Kris gets into his English class fifteen minutes early and there is only one other person there in the very front row, so Kris takes a seat in the back. He considers leaving to walk around the building for a bit but he figures he’d get lost and come stumbling in late, so he stays put.

A few minutes pass and two more people walk in, sitting next to each other at two desks towards the middle of the room. One of them has a huge ring hanging from the middle of their nose and reminds Kris of a bull and he laughs to himself.

As the class starts to fill in, Kris pulls out his phone to text Katy.

 _hope you have a good day. miss you._

When he hits ‘send’ someone sits down in the chair next to him. He looks up and sees a boy with an awesome beard. Kris feels a little jealous that he can’t grow facial hair like that. He has tried many times but he can only grow a mustache and some stubble on his neck and jaw. The beard guy looks down at him with a small smile.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Uh… nothing,” Kris says. “You?”

“Not much,” he replies and drops his notebook onto the table. “I’m Cale.”

“Kris.”

Two minutes before class starts, the room is almost completely full except for the desk in front of them. He and Cale have been talking for a while and Kris can already tell that he has made a new friend. They talk about guitars and The Beatles. Cale also has a girlfriend back at home and her name is Katy, which Kris thinks is pretty weird, but he calls her Kate.

The professor walks in, followed by a girl with a mess of bright red hair on the top of her head, trying to sneak around without being noticed. She takes the seat right in front of Kris and Cale and turns around.

“Hi!” She grins and Kris notices braces on her bottom teeth. Her hair is amazing, Kris thinks. It’s bright red and has pink, purple, and blue streaks. He wants to ask if it’s real but that might be rude. He doesn’t know if it is proper etiquette to ask a girl if they have fake hair. “I’m Allison.”

They introduce themselves and Allison turns around when the professor starts talking. Kris has no idea what Sociology is but, from what she is saying, it sounds pretty interesting. He enjoys learning about different cultures and lifestyles so he thinks he’ll like this class. The professor told them that she used to work at a prison, which Kris thinks is awesome.

She makes them get into groups of about seven. Kris, Allison, and Cale join four other people in a circle. Each group gets a list of 20 different types of people, such as white, black, homosexual, athletes, politicians, hairdressers, and they have to write down the first word that comes to mind for each one.

It starts off alright and they get through most of the list without any problems. But then they get to “hairdresser” and the boy sitting across from Kris laughs and says “gay” which kind of pisses Kris off. Yeah, Kris knows that there are a lot of gay hairdressers, but that’s not the point. The way he said it was meant to be offensive.

Kris lets it slide and doesn’t say anything. Allison runs her fingers through her hair and says “brilliant” so they use that.

Two words later is “homosexuals” and the guy immediately says “fags” and then laughs. The boy next to him laughs too. It makes Kris feel sick to his stomach and he clenches his hands in a tight fist. He isn’t even sure what he can say to him. He doesn’t even want to say anything. What he wants to do is punch him in the face but he is a lot bigger than him and could probably break him in half without even trying. Allison is looking down at her boots, upset and uncomfortable, and Cale is looking at the guy with a disgusted look on his face.

He thinks of Brad and Adam and how awesome both of them are. If they were here right now they’d probably feel like shit and be upset all because that guy is an asshole and thinks that being gay is wrong. Either that or Brad would hang the guy by his balls.

“Amazing,” Kris finally says. “They are amazing.”

It makes Allison smile and Cale pats him gently on the back. The guy across from him gives him a dirty look but it doesn’t matter because he doesn’t say anything for the rest of the time they are in the group. Kris feels proud of himself.

“Wow,” Allison says as the three of them leave the classroom together. “Some people are such assholes. How could he just say that, not knowing if someone in the group was gay?”

Kris shrugs, “I dunno. Some people just don’t care, I guess.”

Allison looks up at him, “Are you…?”

“Me? No… I’m, uh…” Kris mumbles. “I have a girlfriend back home.”

Allison raises an eyebrow and nods her head slowly, almost as if she doesn’t believe him, “Okay.”

They go their separate ways after Cale and Kris exchange phone numbers so they can get together and play sometime. Kris is so excited. Maybe he, Matt, and Cale can all get together soon. His fingers itch for his guitar just thinking about it.

His next class is probability and statistics and Kris is bored out of his mind. There is nobody in the class that he is really interested in talking to and he has already learned the stuff the professor is teaching last year in high school. Right now all he wants to do is go back to his room and sleep. Last night he didn’t get to bed until 3am because Adam wanted to watch _Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory_. Tommy and Brad fell asleep before Charlie even found the golden ticket. Kris fell asleep for a few minutes towards the end and woke up with his head on Adam’s shoulder. Adam didn’t seem to mind so he just kept it there until the movie was over.

Kris feels warmth in his chest and he smiles when he thinks about it. He probably looks stupid because whatever the professor is talking about isn’t anything worth smiling about but he doesn’t care. He’s really happy. Happier than he’s been in a long time.

The professor lets the class out early and Kris heads straight for his dorm. He plans on sleeping until Brad comes back in a couple of hours. He sprints up the stairs because the elevator always takes too long and it always smells like sweat. When he gets to his floor, he sees someone curled up in front of his door.

“Adam?” Kris reaches down and shakes Adam’s shoulder. He is sleeping with his knees pulled up to his chest and his head falling to the side. It looks uncomfortable and his neck is probably going to be sore. Kris kneels down and touches the side of Adam’s face, for a brief second he thinks about how smooth his skin is. “Adam, wake up.”

“Hmmm?” Adam mumbles, his eyes still closed, and leans his face into Kris’s touch, sighing happily. He reminds Kris of a kitten the way he is nuzzling Kris’s hand. It is sort of adorable. But then he stills and his eyes shoot open when he realizes what he is doing. Adam pulls away quickly and looks up at Kris, not meeting his eyes. “Oh shit… I’m sorry. I didn’t realize…”

Kris cuts him off and shakes his head and smiles. “It’s fine,” he stands up and holds his hands out to Adam to help him up. His hands are warm and soft and a lot bigger than Kris’s. “But why are you sleeping in the hallway?”

Adam ducks his head, embarrassed, “I forgot my keys and I knew that you would be coming back soon so I sat down and waited. I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

Kris takes out his keys and unlocks his door and they both walk inside. The room is freezing because Brad hates being hot so Kris has to suffer. He can’t wait to crawl under the covers to warm up. He belly flops onto his bed and lets out a loud groan, not caring that Adam is in the room. He’s never getting up ever again.

“So…” Adam says from where he is standing by the door behind him. “Thanks for letting me in.”

Kris looks up and sees Adam hesitate before walking to the bathroom door to head to his own room. He can’t help but notice the small pout on Adam’s face and Kris suddenly doesn’t want to be alone in his cold room anymore.

“You want to hang out for a bit?” Kris asks, noticing the small smile Adam tries to hide. “We can just talk or listen to music or something.”

Adam walks over and sits on the corner of Kris’s bed. He traces the design of Kris’s comforter with his finger. “Will you play something for me?”

Kris’s heart stammers in his chest and he suddenly wishes he hadn’t invited Adam to stay. What if Adam thinks he sucks or has a horrible voice? Kris is so fucking nervous, but he agrees anyway. He's going to have to get used to playing for people other than Katy someday. “Yeah, um, sure.”

He reaches over to where his guitar is leaning against his bed and pulls it into his lap. Adam backs up on the bed so he is leaning against the wall, his legs hanging a bit off of the edge. Kris just now notices how long his legs are.

Kris strums his guitar absently, “So, do you have any requests?”

Adam shrugs, “Just play whatever you feel like playing.”

He starts to play the first song that comes to mind.

 _I don’t know you  
But I want you  
All the more for that_

His eyes flutter shut because he can’t look at Adam while he sings. His eyes are so blue and soft and looking at him in a way that Kris is pretty sure he has never been looked at before. After a while he forgets where he is and that Adam is in the room and that he is singing one of the most romantic songs he has ever heard to another boy.

The room is completely quiet when Kris finishes the song. All he can hear is his heartbeat pounding loud in his ears.

“Wow…” Adam whispers after what feels like an eternity. “Your face when you play… you were so into it. Like you lost yourself into the song completely.” Adam just looked so honest and sincere and it was probably the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to Kris. “It was beautiful.”

“Thanks,” Kris says, playing with his pick to keep himself from looking up at Adam. “I… do you want me to play another?”

“Please?”

Kris plays him almost every song he knows how to play, including some of his own that he wrote. He doesn’t stop long enough inbetween songs for Adam to say anything.

“Did you write that?” Adam asks when Kris finishes the last song, watching Kris’s fingers move slowly up and down the neck of the guitar. Kris nods. “Is it about Katy?”

“Yeah,” Kris tells him. “I wrote it for her right before I left.”

Adam looks away and starts running his finger along the design of the comforter again. “She’s lucky,” he says after couple seconds. “Nobody has ever written me a song before.”

Kris’s heart hurts hearing Adam say that. How is it possible that nobody has ever written a song about him? Kris could write a hundred songs just about Adam’s eyes.

“Seriously?” Kris says. He suddenly wants to write one for him just to take that sad look out of his eyes. “You’ve never dated a musician or anything?”

Adam is focusing a little too hard on the pattern he’s tracing, “I’ve never had a boyfriend at all.”

Kris is stunned. He was sure that Adam has had tons of boyfriends in the past. Adam is one of the most amazing people Kris has ever met. He’s confident and he makes Kris laugh and he has the brightest smile Kris has ever seen.

“In high school I was a fat ginger kid and I got picked on every day,” Adam explains. Kris feels anger bubble up inside of him and all he wants to do is punch anyone who has ever made Adam feel anything less than beautiful. “I was ugly.”

Kris reaches out and places his hand on Adam’s shoulder, squeezing gently. “There is no way you could’ve ever been ugly,” he says honestly.

Adam looks up at him through his long eyelashes and smiles. Kris thinks that he could probably write a hundred songs just about his smile, too.

* * *

“Where did you learn to do that?” Kris asks from his spot on Adam’s bed, watching him smudge the eyeliner on his lower eyelid with the pad of his middle finger.

Kris has been watching Adam get ready for about a half hour. He blow dried his hair and then put a ton of product in it and slicked it back in a way that kind of reminds Kris of Elvis. Kris likes his hair like that. It shows off his whole face and he thinks that it makes his eyes even bluer. Then Adam puts a bunch of makeup all over to cover his freckles, which annoys Kris because he likes Adam’s freckles. Kris thinks Adam is ridiculous for putting so much work into his appearance. He looks just as good in his pajamas with his hair sticking up all over and without a trace of makeup on his face.

“I dunno,” Adam says, his mouth open in an ‘o’ shape as he puts on mascara. “When I was a kid I used to sneak into my mom’s makeup drawer and just sit there for hours trying everything on.”

Kris tries to think about what Adam must’ve looked like back then. Strawberry blond hair, chubby freckled cheeks, with eyeliner and lipstick smeared all over his face. It makes Kris smile.

He reaches up and pinches Adam’s cheek. “Aw,” he teases, “I bet you were so cute!”

Adam swats his hand away and bites his lip to keep from smiling, “Shut up before I stab you with my eyeliner.”

“So violent,” Kris says as he glances over at the digital clock next to Adam’s bed. They are supposed to be meeting up with Cale, Matt, and Allison in fifteen minutes and Kris still needs to change and brush his teeth. He gets up from Adam’s bed, “I’d love to sit here and be threatened by beauty products some more but I need to get ready, too.”

Adam looks at him through the mirror, “What’s wrong with what you have on?”

“I’ve been walking around in the heat all day and I smell,” Kris says as he picks up something that’s really glittery but he’s not sure what part of the body it’s supposed to go on. “How come you’re allowed to spend hours on your appearance but I can’t change into a nicer shirt?”

Adam shrugs, “It’s just that you already look good.”

Kris’s face heats up and he feels a little butterfly fluttering low in his belly. He doesn’t really get why he only feels this way when Adam’s the one who says these things. Brad calls him hot every single day and it just makes him laugh. Even Tommy said that he’d fuck him if he was drunk and there weren’t any cute girls in the room. But then Adam calls him cute or says he looks good and Kris blushes like a twelve year old girl.

“I’ll see you in a few minutes,” Kris says and goes into his room to find something to wear.

A minute later he is pulling out his favorite plaid shirt and he hears the door slam. “No,” Brad says from behind him, his eyes on Kris’s shirt.

“What?” Kris asks.

Brad walks over and snatches the shirt from his hands. “This is your first college party ever. And it’s not just any college party with cheap beer and playing flip cup. We party hard and I refuse to allow you out of this room looking like a slob,” he throws Kris’s shirt on his bed and goes over to his own dresser. “I’m going to find you something that will make you look fucking hot.”

Kris is scared.

“Here,” Brad finally says after a few minutes of searching through all of his drawers. He holds up one of his own white t-shirts and black jeans. “Put these on. They are a little big on me which means they will fit you perfectly.”

“But I have my own black jeans and a t-shirt,” Kris says but takes the clothing anyway.

Brad clicks his tongue and rolls his eyes, “Yeah and they are loose as hell. These will be tight on you and… just trust me. You’ll look amazing.”

Kris looks at him for a minute before taking his shirt off and throwing it to the floor. He can feel Brad’s eyes on him, like they always are when Kris gets naked. It’s been about a month since they’ve been roommates and Kris tried to avoid getting completely naked in front of Brad for the first couple weeks but then he figured it was inevitable and stopped caring.

“You’re going to have to take those off, too,” Brad points to his boxers.

“Why?”

Brad rolls his eyes again. “Because those pants are going to be way too tight to pull up over those baggy fucking shorts,” he says and keeps his eyes on Kris’s boxers. “And we’re going to take you underwear shopping because boxers are so not attractive.”

“Fine,” Kris huffs and lets his boxers fall to the floor and slips the pants on quickly. They are tight. Kris isn’t sure he’s going to be able to sit down without them ripping. He’s starting to wonder why he goes along with everything Brad tells him to do.

Brad nods approvingly, “See, I told you those would look good. They make it so you actually have an ass.”

Kris puts on the shirt and walks over to the mirror. He actually does look pretty good. He doesn’t have the greatest body in the world but the shirt is tight over the slight muscles that he does have.

“Adam is going to love me when he sees you in this,” Brad comes over and runs his fingers through Kris’s hair to mess it up a little.

Kris watches Brad’s fingers move through his hair in the mirror. “What do you mean?” Kris asks. “Why would he care?”

Brad quickly pulls his hand from Kris, looking guilty about something, “Nothing… he’s just going to be happy that I got you to leave the room in something other than plaid.”

Kris thinks he’s lying but he lets it go.

-

When they get to the party, Kris pretty much looks like a deer in head lights when he takes in what’s going on around him. He has never been to a party like this in his life. Brad must notice the shocked look on his face because he leans up and whispers “This is how we do it in LA, baby” and kisses him on the cheek.

It’s not that he is uncomfortable or scared, he’s just overwhelmed. The only parties he has ever been to included video games and beer that nobody drank because they didn’t like the taste.

This is like a completely different world.

Bodies are pressed together all over the floor, writhing against each other all sweaty and hot. There are boys making out with each other in the chairs and pressed against the walls. The music is so loud it’s making Kris’s heart rattle in his chest. There is booze everywhere, shot glasses and martini glasses scattered all over the tables and counters. Bright multicolored lights are flashing in every direction, making it difficult to see.

“Wow…” Kris gasps.

He feels fingers curl around the back of his neck and he looks up at Adam who is gives him an unsure smile, like he thinks all of this might be a little bit too much for Kris. But Kris just gives him the biggest grin he can and they all make their way through the crowd.

Two hours later Brad is hanging off of Kris like he is the only thing that is keeping him from falling over. Kris tried to get him to slow down but he wasn’t listening and kept taking shot after shot, and making Kris take some too. Kris has actually lost count of how many he took.

He is feeling really good right now. The alcohol is making him feel warm and only a little dizzy. But, he is pretty sure that he’ll throw up if he drinks anything else so he pushes all of the shot glasses over to Brad.

He turns around to look for his friends. They are all scattered amongst the crowd. Allison is on the couch kissing some girl Adam introduced him to named Sasha, Cale and Tommy are talking to two random girls, and Matt is nowhere to be found.

“Well, hello,” a guy with floppy brown hair and really long side burns sidles up to Kris. He is kind of in Kris’s personal space and it is making him a little uncomfortable. Also, his breath reeks of alcohol and it’s making Kris feel sick. “Brad, why haven’t you introduced me to your new friend?”

Before either of them can say anything, Kris feels an arm wrap around his shoulders. Adam tucks Kris close to his side and Kris looks up at him, noticing the expression on his face. Adam doesn’t look very amused at all.

“Cassidy, this is Kris,” Adam introduces the two of them, and his grip on Kris gets even tighter when he sees Cassidy lick his lips and wink at him. “He’s Brad’s new roommate.”

Cassidy looks between the two of them and then shakes his head and chuckles, “Well I see somebody already has their claim on him,” he says before grabbing Brad’s hand and dragging him to the dance floor.

“Sorry about that,” Adam pulls away from Kris, looking a little embarrassed. “Cassidy is a little bit too much when he’s drunk and if I didn’t do that he would’ve taken you away and… yeah.” He is suddenly focusing really hard on the drink in his hand and tries to avoid looking Kris in the eye.

Kris just starts laughing like it’s the funniest thing he’s ever seen and leans forward to press his face against Adam’s chest. He is pretty sure Adam thinks he’s crazy but right now he’s too drunk to care. It takes him a while to finally calm down, but when he does he stays snuggled against the softness of Adam’s shirt. He is warm and cuddly and he smells nice and it makes Kris’s head stop hurting.

“Admit it,” Kris says when he finally feels Adam’s arms around his waist, “you just want to keep me all to yourself.”

* * *

Play it again!” Adam demands. He’s beaming and so excited that he’s practically bouncing on Kris’s bed. “I love it.”

Kris wrote a song for him this morning in class. Nothing serious or romantic or anything, it’s mostly just a joke, but it made Adam so happy when Kris told him. The song has mentions of unicorns and glitter and eyeliner, all of Adam’s favorite things. He wasn’t even going to let Adam hear it but he figured it would make him smile, which it does, so Kris thinks it was worth missing an entire class of notes.

“Adam,” Kris whines. “I already played it twice.”

Adam’s face falls and his bottom lip pokes out slightly in a pout. His hair is a mess and he isn’t wearing any makeup, making him look even younger, and making it hard for Kris to say no.

Kris rolls his eyes, “Fine.”

That huge grin is back on Adam’s face and he flails a bit. Kris will probably play it until his fingers bleed if it keeps Adam smiling like that.

Just as he picks his guitar back up, his phone goes off in his pocket. “Saved by the bell!” he exclaims as he pulls his phone out and sees ‘Katy’ on the screen. Before he answers he looks up and sees an actual pout on Adam’s face this time and it almost makes him ignore the call but that might get him in trouble later, “Hey, babe.”

“Hey, what are you doing?”

He was going to tell her that he wrote a song for Adam today and he’s about to play it for him but then he thought about it for a second and realized that Katy would not be okay with that at all. She is the only person he has ever written anything for and, even though Adam’s song isn’t anything serious, she probably wouldn’t understand.

“Nothing,” he answers. “Just playing with my guitar.”

She starts going into detail about her day and Kris listens until Adam reaches over and plucks his guitar from his hands and settles it on his lap instead. His tongue pokes out between his lips as he concentrates on where to put his fingers. Kris watches as Adam strums the guitar and then frowns to himself when it sounds horrible. Katy’s voice just becomes a noise in his ear.

“Here, try this,” Kris tucks the phone between his ear and shoulder and reaches over to take Adam’s hand, placing his fingers in the appropriate spot so he can play a note. When Adam strums again and it actually sounds good, his face lights up and they smile at each other.

“I did it!” Adam grins. His eyes are so bright and blue and he just looks so happy. Kris doesn’t understand how a 19 year old can be so sweet and childlike at times.

“Kris?” Katy says in a voice that makes Kris think she’s been trying to get his attention for a while. “Are you there?”

“Yeah, sorry,” he says, but his attention is still focused more on Adam who keeps strumming the guitar, so happy that it actually sounds good, even if it’s just one note.

“Who are you with?”

Adam tries messing around a bit, not knowing what he’s doing at all and it sounds awful again, making Kris laugh. “Just Adam,” he replies. “He’s trying to play my guitar but he sucks at it.”

Adam scowls and extends his long leg out to kick Kris but he’s not quick enough and Kris grabs his leg and places it on his lap.

“I thought Brad was your roommate.”

“He is.”

“Then how come you’re always with Adam?” She sounds annoyed. Kris doesn’t understand why. Did she really not expect him to make friends while he was here? Adam just happens to be his best friend here.

Kris shrugs, his fingers absentmindedly playing with the soft material of Adam’s pajama pants, “I don’t know. He’s my friend.”

Adam looks up from the guitar, realizing that they are talking about him. Kris can tell he’s starting to feel uncomfortable. He nods his head towards the door, silently asking if Kris needs him to leave, but Kris shakes his head and wraps his fingers around Adam’s ankle, silently telling him to stay.

“Oh,” she pauses. “It just seems like you are with him every time I call you. We never get to talk anymore.”

Kris thinks about it for a moment, and realizes that it’s true. He has been cutting their conversations short lately so he can spend time with Adam instead. It’s not that he likes Adam more than her or anything, that would be ridiculous because he loves Katy and Adam is just a friend, but Kris just hates talking on the phone. It makes his ear hurt and he doesn’t like talking about himself so he can never think of anything to say.

“I’m sorry,” he apologizes, but he doesn’t actually feel that horrible about it. “How about I call you tonight? You can talk my ear off for an entire hour. No interruptions.”

“Really?” she says, he can tell that’s her happy voice. “A whole hour, just you and me?”

Kris chuckles, “Yup.”

She actually says ‘yay!’ which makes Kris burst out laughing. She is happy now, which makes Kris feel better. They say ‘I love you’ and hang up. Kris looks up at Adam who still looks uncomfortable.

Kris slides his hand up to gently squeeze Adam’s knee, “What’s wrong?”

Adam puts the guitar on the bed and looks up at Kris, “Is she mad that you’re with me?”

“No, not at all. She’s just mad at me for not really talking to her lately. She’s been having a tough time with the whole distance thing and I’m not really helping by hanging up with her all the time for you guys.”

“Oh,” Adam frowns, “I can leave so you can call her back if you want.”

Kris reaches over to grab his guitar, “No. you wanted me to play your song again for you, remember?”

The corners of Adam’s lips slowly start to turn upwards in a smile.

“I can’t believe you wrote me a song,” Adam says when Kris finishes. “That’s like the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me.”

“You said nobody has ever written one for you,” Kris just shrugs like it’s no big deal. “I just wanted to be the first. Even though I’m sure somebody will write a much better one for you someday.”

“No,” Adam shakes his head. “It’s perfect. My favorite song ever.”

Kris doubts that it’s true but it makes him happy to hear it. “Good,” he says. “I’m glad you like it.”

They sit there for a while and Kris plays quietly, background music to their comfortable silence. Adam’s leg is still warm and heavy on his lap. Adam just watches him with a sweet smile on his face the entire time.

“Can you teach me?” Adam asks eventually.

“Uh, sure,” Kris says before pushing Adam’s leg off of his lap and scooting backwards so he was leaning against the wall. He pats the spot between his legs. “Come here.”

Adam looks at him for a moment before crawling forward and settling between Kris’s legs with his back pressed up against Kris’s chest. Kris puts the guitar in Adam’s lap and leans forward a bit to rest his chin on Adam’s shoulder. He closes his eyes for a second, just enjoying the feeling of having a warm body against him. Adam feels so much different than Katy. He’s so big and solid while Katy feels so fragile in his arms. He smells a lot different too. Katy always smells sweet like flowers or candy. Adam smells like sweat and cologne and a little bit of vanilla. Kris likes it.

A half hour later they haven’t really gotten anywhere. Adam is impatient as hell and he’s starting to complain that his fingers hurt. Kris just rolls his eyes and tries to make him keep trying but Adam just gives up.

“Whatever,” he says and practically throws the guitar to the other side of the bed, which makes Kris cringe. If Adam broke his guitar, he would kill him. “I’ll never learn how to play.”

Kris slides his fingers down and digs his them into Adam’s side to tickle him, making Adam squirm, “Well if you weren’t such a girl and keep complaining all the damn time maybe you would.”

Adam tries to wriggle out of Kris’s grip but he’s laughing too hard and Kris has one arm wrapped around his waist to keep him there while the other finds the ticklish spots on his body.

“Stop!” Adam practically screams. If anyone hears him in the hallway they’ll probably think Adam is hurt or something. “Kris! Oh my god, stop. I’m going to piss my pants.”

Kris does stop but only because his stomach hurts so much from laughing. Somehow Adam has slid down and his head is now resting on Kris’s thigh, his body still between Kris’s legs. Adam is breathing heavy and his face is so red. His eyes are watering but the smile on his face is so big that Kris can tell that he didn’t actually mind it at all.

Adam sighs, still a bit out of breath, “I hate you so much.”

Kris looks down and smiles softly at Adam. His face looks kind of weird upside-down. Kris brushes the hair on his forehead back, which makes Adam look up.

“Don’t lie,” Kris says. “You know you love me.”

* * *

“Where’s Cale?” Kris asks as Allison sits down at her usual spot in front of him.

“He just texted me and said he doesn’t feel good so he’s not coming,” she says. “So make sure you take notes for him.”

Kris pulls out his phone to see if he got the text. The screen reads ‘3 new messages’. There is one from Katy, Cale, and Adam. He scrolls past the first two to read Adam’s.

 _there is a girl in my class wearing the most hideous boots ive ever seen. it would be rude to tell her that, right?_

Kris laughs before typing his reply.

 _dont be mean. not everyone can have amazing style like you._

“Who was that?” Allison asks as she leans her notebook against his desk to doodle in the margins. Upside-down it looks like she’s drawing a fairy but Kris can’t tell for sure.

“Just Adam,” he says and reads Katy’s text which just says ‘I love you’ and Cale’s telling him that he’s sick. He doesn’t reply to either of them.

“Figures,” Allison mumbles. “I don’t even know why I ask.”

Kris opens his mouth to say something but then the professor walks in and Allison turns back around in her seat. He doesn’t get what she meant by that. It’s not like he texts Adam all the time. He takes his phone out and scrolls through the inbox; Adam, Adam, Adam, Katy, Adam, Brad, Adam, Adam, Katy, Adam. Okay, so maybe they do text a lot when they aren’t together. But Kris can’t help it that Adam sends amusing texts.

His phone vibrates in his hand and Adam’s name comes up on the screen again.

 _flattery will get you far, kristopher._

Kris has a smile on his face for the rest of the class.

-

“You wanna go get lunch somewhere?” Allison asks as they get their stuff together to leave. “I’m fucking starving.”

Kris overslept this morning so he’s starving too, “Yeah, sure. I just have to stop by my room first to get my wallet.”

“Can we get Chinese? I’m dying for those fried cheese wanton things.”

Kris’s mouth practically waters just thinking about it. “Oh my god, yes. Those are so good,” he drools. “And those sugary dough puff things.”

When they get to his room Kris looks around for his wallet. The room is a mess because Brad couldn’t figure out what to wear this morning. In the first few weeks Brad respected that they each have their own side of the room, but now he just says ‘fuck it’ and throws his stuff all over. Kris doesn’t really care because he’s a bit of a slob too.

“Are you just pretending you can’t find it so I’ll pay for you?” Allison asks, only half joking. She’s sitting with her legs crossed on Kris’s bed, not helping Kris look at all.

“If I didn’t have any money I would tell you and just pay you back later,” Kris says as he stands up from looking under the bed. “Maybe it’s in Adam’s room.”

Allison raises an eyebrow, “Why would it be in there?”

Kris shrugs like it’s no big deal, “I was hanging out with him after class yesterday and we fell asleep watching Wife Swap.”

“Ookay,” Allison says and gives him a look that Kris really can’t decipher.

They both walk through the bathroom and Kris holds his finger up to his lips, “Shhh, he’s taking a nap,” and Allison just looks at him like ‘how the hell do you know that?’ but follows him in and stays quiet anyway.

The room is pitch black besides the light coming in from the bathroom and it is freezing. Adam likes to turn the air up really high and strip down to his boxers when he comes home from theater class and sleep for hours. Sometimes Kris sits in his bed with him watching TV while Adam naps.

Kris quietly tiptoes over to Adam’s bed and sees his wallet on the floor. It’s placed right next to his flip flops he kicked off the night before when he and Adam curled up under the blanket together. He picks up his wallet and sits on the edge of Adam’s bed.

“Hey,” he whispers and places his hand gently on Adam’s bare shoulder. “Adam, wake up.”

Adam buries his face even further into the pillow, his hair is sticking up all over and Kris pushes it down with his hand. “Me and Alli are going to get Chinese. You want anything?”

He moves his head a bit and Kris thinks it’s a nod.

“Okay, well text me when you wake up,” he whispers and Adam nods again. Kris gets up and pulls the blanket further up so it’s covering his shoulders. Kris has no idea how he sleeps with it so cold.

When Kris and Allison leave, they are both quiet for a minute but then she looks up at him, “You have a lot of stuff in his room.”

“Just my wallet.”

“No,” she says. “I saw your guitar and your flip flops and I’m pretty sure Adam and Tommy don’t wear plaid.”

“So?” He doesn’t see the problem. They are practically roommates.

“Nothing,” she sighs. “Just an observation.”

-

“So how’s Katy?” Allison asks as she dips her crab roll into soy sauce and then shoves the entire thing in her mouth which makes Kris laugh. She is somewhat obnoxious and doesn’t care what people think about her. That’s probably why Kris likes spending time with Allison.

Kris takes a bite of his honey chicken, “I dunno. Good, I guess. She’s hasn’t made any friends or anything yet, though. I keep telling her to try but she never listens.”

“But she already has friends in Arkansas, right?” She asks. “It’s not like she moved to a new city like you did where you didn’t know anyone and had to make friends.”

“Yeah, she has friends,” he tells her. “But sometimes I feel like she just waits around for me to call her all day. It makes me feel bad that I don’t spend more time talking to her but I have a life here, too.”

Allison nods like she understands, “That’s why I’m never getting into a long distance relationship. I want to be able to touch and make out with the person I’m dating.”

Kris misses that a lot. The kissing and the touching and just having a warm body to cuddle with. It’s weird not having Katy right there all the time so he can do those things whenever he wants. Adam is always up for snuggling, though, so Kris isn’t too lonely without her.

Just as Kris shovels a forkful of rice into his mouth, his phone vibrates in his pocket and he pulls it out.

 _was i dreaming or did you offer me chinese food when i was sleeping?_

 _lol yeah. im still here. you want anything?_

 _just an eggroll and some fried rice please._

 _k ill be home soon :)_

 _thank you_

“I have to order food for Adam when the waiter comes back,” Kris tells Allison when he puts his phone back in his pocket. He looks up and just as she rolls her eyes. “What?”

“You, dude,” she says. “You and Adam are like obsessed with each other. I would think it was cute if you weren’t completely fucking oblivious.”

Kris is confused, “What do you mean?”

“You seriously don’t see it?” Kris shakes his head. “Okay… you text all the fucking time. You guys are practically roommates. What can you possibly be texting about that much? And you guys cuddle in bed. Most guys… they don’t do that,” she pauses for a second. “Look, Kris… I’m not judging you or anything. If you like Adam, that’s awesome. He’s so amazing and I think you’d be good for each other. But, dude, you have a girlfriend. If I knew my boyfriend was all over another guy hundreds of miles away, I’d be pissed.”

Kris feels like someone just punched him in the stomach. Is that really what people see when they look at them? Kris just thought they were really good friends. Friends that just happen to cuddle. It’s not like he can help it. Adam’s so big and warm. He was made for cuddling.

“I… don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Kris…” Allison starts and her eyes soften a little. “Do you really not see it?”

He sinks a little in his chair, “See what?”

“The way he looks at you,” she sighs and her lips curl into a little smile like it’s the cutest thing ever. “The way you look at each other, man. It’s intense. Everyone can see it.”

Kris feels like he’s going to throw up, “Everyone?”

She nods, “Remember when we all went to the movies last weekend? Adam had his arm around you the entire time. We all noticed.”

Kris never thought anything of it. That’s just what he and Adam do. They touch and play and make each other laugh. Kris likes being affectionate with Adam but that doesn’t mean he likes Adam. There is Katy. His Katy. The Katy he’s been with forever.

“Katy…”

“Yeah, I know. Katy is your girlfriend. But it’s not like a boy with a girlfriend has never fallen for another guy. It happens all of the time.”

“I don’t… Adam’s my friend, okay?” Kris just wants this conversation to be over. “I love Katy. Not Adam. I’m not… gay.”

Allison bites her lip. He can tell by her face that she doesn’t believe him.

“Can we just drop it?” He pleads.

“Fine,” she says and throws her napkin on the table. “Let’s order Adam’s food and go.”

A half hour later Kris is walking up to his room after dropping Allison off at hers. He tries not to think about their conversation but he can’t help it. Some of the stuff that she said really hit him hard and it makes him feel sick to his stomach. He isn’t sure why he feels like this. There wouldn’t be anything wrong with liking Adam. He’s one of the best guys Kris knows. He makes him laugh and he’s so nice. He’s going to make the perfect boyfriend for someone someday.

“But not me,” Kris mumbles to himself. “I’m straight. I have Katy.”

He walks into his room and takes off his shoes before padding barefoot through the bathroom to get to Adam’s room. He’s sure that once he sits down with Adam and tells him what Allison said they’ll just laugh about it. Adam will probably think it’s just as ridiculous as Kris does.

“Hey,” he says when he sees Adam sitting up in bed, still only in his boxers. He has horrible bed head and looking at him makes Kris’s heart flutter. He has to take a deep breath to make the feeling go away. “I got your food.”

“Thanks, Kris,” Adam grins and leans over to press a kiss against Kris’s forehead before snatching the food from him. Normally, Kris wouldn’t think anything of it. Adam has done that a few times before and Brad does it almost every day and it's never a big deal. But now it’s making his face hot and the feeling of Adam’s lips is still lingering on his forehead.

Kris looks around the room and notices that he actually does have a lot of stuff that’s his in here. His guitar and his flip flops, like he noticed earlier, but also one of his plaid shirts is balled up in the corner and he isn’t really sure how it got there, his glasses are on Adam’s sink, and even a couple of his books are on the floor.

And then he notices Adam. There is no denying that Adam is a beautiful person. Anybody can admit to that. Kris likes his eyes and the freckles on his lips and even the little acne scars on his face that he tries so hard to cover up. Even though Adam despises his body, Kris likes it. He’s big and soft and warm. There are freckles everywhere and sometimes Kris likes to count them whenever he gets bored with whatever is on TV.

But none of that matters because Adam is not Katy. Adam is not his boyfriend. Adam is not his. Katy is. Katy is the one he’s been neglecting. Katy is the one who is supposed to make his heart flutter. Katy is the one he loves.

“You wanna watch a movie or something?” Adam asks with a mouth full of rice. “I think Brad just bought _Freaky Friday_. You know, back when Lindsay Lohan was sane.”

Kris says the first thing that pops in his head, “Sorry, I have homework to do.”

The smile on Adam’s face fades and Kris instantly wants to say ‘fuck what other people think’ and crawl in bed with him. It looks so tempting. The blankets are probably still warm.

“On a Friday?”

“Yeah,” Kris sucks at lying. “I want to get it done so I don’t have to worry about it Sunday night.”

Adam nods but Kris can tell he doesn’t get it. Adam knows Kris is a huge procrastinator and never does his homework until the last possible minute.

Kris feels bad but he doesn’t think he could stand being alone with Adam right now. When he gets to his room he falls on his bed and remembers that he doesn’t actually have any homework this weekend so he can’t even do that to distract himself. Instead, he pulls out his phone and dials Katy’s number.

“Hey,” he says when she answers. “I miss you.”

* * *

Avoiding Adam Lambert is probably the most difficult thing Kris has ever tried to do. He is everywhere - in his room, the bathroom, the hallways, the cafeteria, and the fact that Kris doesn’t actually want to be avoiding him makes it that much harder. It’s just that every time Adam is within 10 feet of him, something in Kris’s brain goes off telling him to get out of there or else he and Adam will end up curled up in the corner somewhere and everyone will think they’re boyfriends and that freaks Kris out.

So he’s avoiding him.

Kris notices that Adam is spending a lot more time with Brad and that makes Kris a little bit jealous. Like right now, for example, Adam is sitting on Brad’s bed with his foot in his lap while Brad paints his toe nails. Kris wishes he had something to do so he didn’t have to sit here and listen to them gossip and talk about the cute boy in Adam’s biology class who, in Kris’s opinion, is not that cute at all. Adam pointed him out a couple days ago and Kris thinks he has an ugly haircut and crooked teeth.

“He opened the door for me today,” Adam grins like it’s a huge deal. “We made eye contact for like two seconds.”

Brad lets out a fake gasp, “Oh no, a whole two seconds? I better get an invite to the wedding.”

“You can be the maid of honor.”

Kris rolls his eyes. He opens the door for Adam all of the time and he never gets excited about it.

“Kris,” Brad’s voice startles Kris and he looks up from a page in the book he has been mindlessly staring at for the past half hour. “I asked you what color I should paint my toes and you are completely ignoring me.”

Kris couldn’t care less what color Brad paints his toes but he’s not in the mood to deal with bitchy Brad. “Uh, I don’t know. Blue?”

Brad glares at him before grabbing the dark blue bottle of nail polish and tosses it to Adam and puts his foot in his lap. “What’s with you lately?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve been moping around like your cat died or something,” Brad says and closes his eyes and leans back against the wall as Adam leans down to carefully paint Brad’s big toe. “It’s seriously depressing.”

He and Adam just happen to look up at the same time and their eyes meet. Kris turns his head away quickly and stares at a random spot on the wall. “Nothing,” he lies. “I’m fine.”

“I don’t believe you,” Brad says. “But, whatever. I’ll find out eventually.”

He’s knows Brad will find out what’s going on because Brad has a knack for being able to tell when someone is bullshitting him. He also knows that Brad will nag him until he finally does tell him.

Adam stays for about 20 more minutes. Kris manages to comprehend some of the book he is reading, something about the Persian War. He probably would find it more interesting if he didn’t have Adam in the room unintentionally distracting him the entire time. He watches the two of them in the corner of his eye, laughing and talking. Normally Kris would be sitting on the bed with them, letting them paint one of his nails and then he’d chip it off as soon as it dries.

Adam leaves to go out to dinner with his friends after he finishes Brad’s toenails. It hurts a little when Adam doesn’t even say goodbye to him but he knows it’s all his fault. Kris closes his book and tosses it on the floor just as Brad comes out of the bathroom after taking a shower. He’s in nothing but old sweatpants and a towel wrapped around his head.

“So,” he says as he slides in next to Kris on the bed. “What’s up?”

Kris shakes his head and closes his eyes. He is not looking forward to where this conversation is going, “Nothing.”

Brad sits up straight and points his finger at Kris, “Don’t you dare tell me it’s nothing because I know it’s something and I know that something has to do with Adam.”

Kris’s eyes get wide in panic, “How do you…”

“Hun,” Brad cuts him off and he reaches over to thread his fingers through Kris’s hair. He’s giving Kris a look that says ‘aw, you pathetic little thing’ and shaking his head. “You are not subtle at all.”

Kris just looks at him, afraid to say anything.

“So…” Brad continues, “are you going to tell me why you’re avoiding Adam?”

Kris feels really shitty. He didn’t think he was being that obvious about it. He turns away from Brad because he hates the way he’s looking at him and because Brad still has that towel on his head and it makes him look silly.

“I’m not avoiding him,” Kris says quietly, almost in a whisper.

“Well, Adam thinks you are,” Brad says and it makes Kris look up. “He has no idea why his new best friend all of a sudden wants nothing to do with him.”

“I don’t-did he say that?” Kris asks. He feels this burning feeling in his chest and it really feels like he’s going to throw up.

“He came in here after you went to class this morning and asked if there was something wrong, like if you are having trouble with Katy or something,” Brad tells him. “I told him that you and Katy seemed fine and you guys talk on the phone a lot lately.”

“What did he say to that?”

“Nothing really. He’s just a little hurt that you never want to hang out with him anymore. He doesn’t know what he did wrong.”

Kris is pretty sure he has never felt so horrible in his life. He didn’t mean to make Adam feel bad. He didn’t even think Adam would notice. It wasn’t his intention to cut Adam out of his life or anything. He loves having him in his life. Adam makes Kris happy.

“He didn’t do anything.”

“Okay, then what is it?”

Kris almost doesn’t want to tell him because then Adam might find out and everything will get even more screwed up. But, a part of him trusts Brad for some reason and he thinks his secret might be safe with him.

“It’s Allison…” Kris starts, unable to meet Brad’s eyes so he looks at a spot on the wall over Brad’s shoulder. “She said that me and Adam act like we’re dating or something. That I’m always all over him and it’s not fair to Katy for me to be doing that because she wouldn’t like it if she found out.”

“So you think just staying away from Adam is going to make it all better?” Brad is talking to Kris like he’s the biggest asshole in the entire world, which he probably is. “You’re friends, Kris. I touch you all of the fucking time and it’s no big deal. Yeah you’re hot and if you were gay I would’ve gotten into your pants the first week you were here,” Kris feels his face heat up a little. “But Adam’s not me. Even if he does think you’re cute, he’s not touching you and being affectionate because he wants to get in your pants. He does it because you’re his best friend who he loves and respects so much. The fact that you can barely look at him anymore is killing him.”

Kris is pretty sure that if Brad keeps talking, he’s going to start crying. The fact that Kris hurt Adam makes him feel so horrible. All he wants to do is find Adam and hug him until everything is all better.

“What do I do?” Kris asks.

Brad sighs, “Luckily for you, Adam has the biggest heart in the world. He’ll probably forget about everything once you look at him with those big adorable puppy eyes,” Brad gets up from the bed. “Now, if you’ll excuse me I have to go get ready because I am going on a date. When Adam gets back you better fucking fix it, Kris. I hate seeing him upset.”

Kris just sits there and thinks while he watches Brad get ready for his date. He thinks about Adam and Katy and school, but mostly Adam. He really wishes Allison never said anything so none of this ever would’ve happened. He would probably be out with Adam and his friends right now, sharing a booth with Adam at whatever restaurant they’re at, pressed up close to his side and letting Adam steal his fries.

His eyes get heavy as he sits there on his bed watching Brad putter around the room so he curls up on his side. He doesn’t want to fall asleep so he can hear Adam when he gets back but he ends up dozing off anyway. When he wakes up a while later, the room is dark and there is a blanket over him. He sits up and looks at the digital clock next to his bed. The bright red numbers are a little blurry because he doesn’t have his glasses but when he squints he sees that it’s 12:03am. He’s pretty sure Adam is home by now.

Kris stumbles out of bed and slowly makes his way towards Adam’s room. It’s pitch black so he tries not to stub his toe or trip over anything. When he’s finally standing on the cold tile of the bathroom floor right in front of Adam’s door, he starts to feel nervous. What is he supposed to say to him? He sucks with words and everything he tries to say always sounds like a mumbled incoherent mess.

He decides to let whatever happens, happen and opens the door. Adam is sitting in the dark, the only source of light coming from his laptop and his television. He is staring up at Kris with his eyebrows raised and a look on his face that says ‘and you’re here because…?’

“Hey,” Kris says and then wants to punch himself in the face because he feels like a jackass.

“Hi,” Adam replies, but it almost sounds like a question.

“So, um…” Kris starts, not really sure how to do this. “Can we talk or something?”

“Sure,” Adam says and then focuses on his laptop again, clicking a few times before the screen goes black and he closes it.

Kris moves over to Adam’s bed and sits on the edge. He can’t believe it feels awkward to be with Adam. Kris is afraid that if he says the wrong thing, Adam might hate him. So, Kris says the only thing he can think of.

“I’m sorry.”

Adam just looks at him. His face isn’t showing any sign of emotion whatsoever and Kris can’t tell if that’s a good or bad thing.

“Um,” Kris continues because he can’t stand Adam just looking at him and not saying anything. “I know I was being a jerk this week and I don’t even know why,” Kris pauses. “I was just… I don’t know. Being stupid.”

Now Adam just looks sad and Kris thinks that’s even worse. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No,” Kris shifts himself so he is sitting completely on the bed and he reaches over to grab Adam’s hand. His heart stammers in his chest when Adam’s fingers squeeze his. It makes Kris wonder if Adam missed this as much as he did. “I swear, Adam, you did nothing wrong. I was just being a big idiot.”

Adam bites his lip and stays quiet for a moment. “I just don’t get it,” he finally says. “You just… stopped hanging out with me all of a sudden,” he looks up at Kris and there is pain in his eyes. It makes Kris want to hold him and pet his hair and just tell him over and over again how sorry he is. “It kinda hurt.”

“I know and I’m so sorry,” he squeezes Adam’s hand even harder. “You have no idea how sorry I am right now. Like… if I had money I would buy hundreds of dollars worth of flowers and candy and teddy bears for you. And those big shiny balloons with ‘I’m Sorry’ written on the front,” he takes a breath before continuing. “But I don’t have any money so you’re just going to have to take my word for it.”

Adam is looking down at their fingers tangled together, “Okay.”

“Okay?” Kris asks tentatively. “Okay as in you forgive me?”

Adam stays quiet for a moment like he’s deciding whether or not he should forgive him. Kris knows he shouldn’t. Adam should stay mad and ignore Kris just so he knows how it feels. And, even though Kris knows that’s how it should be, he really hopes that it isn’t. He needs Adam to forgive him. He needs to know that they’ll be okay.

After what feels like an eternity, Adam finally looks up at him.

"I really missed you, you know," he says, looking up with a small smile.

"I really missed you too," Kris says, grinning like an idiot. He feels like he can breathe again, the huge weight bearing down on him has been lifted.

“Just promise me you’ll never do anything like that ever again.”

Kris practically throws himself onto Adam’s lap and wraps his arms around his neck, “Never, ever again, I promise.”

He can hear Adam laugh softly above his ear. He missed hearing him laugh so much. It’s only been a week or so, and it’s not like he hasn’t heard it since then, but he likes it when _he_ is the one making Adam laugh.

Kris feels Adam’s large hands press warmly against his back and he melts into the touch. He was crazy for thinking he could give this up. Adam’s friendship means so much to him now that he knows that they’ll be friends for the rest of their lives.

They stay like that for a while until eventually Kris’s stomach growls loud enough they both can hear it. Kris can feel Adam shake with laughter underneath him.

“When was the last time you ate?” Adam pulls back from Kris’s embrace and looks up at him. His eyes are blue and bright and that smile is back on his face. It makes Kris ridiculously happy knowing he put that smile there.

Kris thinks about it, “I had a strawberry pop-tart for breakfast.”

Adam pushes Kris off of him and gets up, “Come on. We’ll get you some food.”

They leave the room together and as soon as Adam turns around after locking the door, Kris slips his arm around his waist. It feels right and Kris can see it, this little picture in his head. Him and Adam together, going on stupid cliché dates to the movies and spending half of it throwing popcorn at the people in front of them and the other half making out. In the car singing along to the songs on the radio at the top of their lungs, and flipping the bird at the adjacent drivers while stopped at a red light. Getting back to the dorm and stumbling into Adam's room kissing and tearing at clothes, finally getting each other naked and –

Kris snaps out of it. His face feels hot and he’s embarrassed, like Adam can read his mind and knows what he was thinking. Suddenly the weight of Adam’s arm around his shoulder seems a bit too much and Kris almost pulls away but then he stops himself. _No,_ he thinks, _I’m not doing that again._ He glances up at Adam and he seems to be completely oblivious to what’s going on in Kris’s brain, so Kris relaxes and pushes all of those thoughts out of his head.

 _I’m not screwing this up,_ Kris tells himself. _I can’t._

* * *

Kris really needs to learn how to say ‘no’. It’s just really hard when Brad is sitting there with his big brown eyes looking up at him and his bottom lip quivering, and Adam looking down, his fluffy black hair falling over his sad blue eyes. Nobody with a heart can say no to that.

“Fine,” Kris huffs.

They both perk up considerably – Adam with a stupid grin on his face and Brad actually squeals and flails his hands – and Kris wants to punch himself in the face. He knew the sad eyes and the lip quivering was nothing more than an act to make him cave and it worked… again.

He needs to find new non-manipulative friends.

“You’re going to look so hot,” Brad says and Kris can tell by the look on his face that he’s already planning out exactly what he’s going to make Kris wear. “You can trust us.”

Kris snorts, “Yeah, okay.”

“Just a little glitter,” Adam says.

“And eyeliner,” Brad adds.

“And mascara.”

“And lip gloss.”

“Wait,” Kris cuts them off. “I draw the line at lip gloss.”

Brad looks like Kris just told him that he kills puppies for a living or something. “What?”

“Kris,” Adam starts, looking equally offended. “You cannot leave out the lip gloss. That’s just… wrong.”

Kris doesn’t say anything and Adam and Brad’s faces start to fall into the pouts again. Kris rolls his eyes.

“Okay, whatever. You can do what you want,” he sighs. “But you owe me so big. Like… you have to do my homework for the next two years and buy me dinner every single night.”

“Deal!” They both say at the same time, but Kris knows that he probably won’t even get one free meal out of it.

He tries to remember at what point in his life he started having arguments over whether or not he’s going to wear lip gloss. A year ago Kris never would’ve thought he’d be in California right now, agreeing to let two guys dress him up as a fairy for Halloween.

-

Two day later Kris is sitting on the sink with Adam standing between his legs, dabbing some sparkly blue stuff on his eyelids with the pad of his finger.

“You actually agreed to this?” Tommy asks from where he is lounging on his bed, watching Kris and Adam with amusement.

He moves his head a little to glare at Tommy but Adam forces his face right back where it was and cups his chin with his free hand to keep it there. “You’ve seen their pouty faces,” Kris says, now focusing his glare on Adam who has this smug look on his face that makes Kris want to kick him. “They’re lethal.”

“That’s why you have to learn to ignore them.”

“Unfortunately for Kris,” Adam tilts Kris’s face down so their eyes meet and he gives him a sweet smile, “he’s too nice for that.”

Kris grins back at him, “Well, I guess that’s lucky for you then, huh?”

Adam’s face is really close to his and it kind of feels like someone is pushing down on Kris’s chest, making it difficult to breathe. He can feel Adam’s hot breath ghosting over his face and it smells sweet from the pack of Starburst they just shared. Kris is noticing all of the little aspects of his face that he can’t see when he looks at Adam from a normal distance. He has these barely visible freckles on his eyelids that Kris thinks are cute, and when he looks up he sees a tiny bit of strawberry blonde roots peeking out beneath the mess of black hair on his head.

“Jesus Christ,” Tommy groans as he passes them to get to the bathroom. “Get a room.”

Adam looks away and Kris sees a blush creep up his face, “Aw, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you blush before.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Adam says with absolutely no venom in his voice whatsoever, “or else I’ll do your makeup so you look like a cheap hooker.”

Kris keeps his mouth shut until Adam is finished

 

“You look fucking hot, Kristopher,” Brad tells him as he slips on his heels. Kris just rolls his eyes. He cannot believe that Brad is a princess for Halloween. He’s not going to be able to look at him at all tonight without laughing.

“Thanks,” Kris says and he turns to look in the mirror. His bare chest is dusted with glitter, there are wings sticking out of his back, and he actually has makeup on his face. He never thought he'd see himself with sparkly blue eyeshadow and eyeliner. The only clothing he has on is a pair of Adam’s old ratty green sweat pants that are cut off at the bottom. Brad wanted him to wear a loin cloth, but that is where Kris absolutely has to draw the line. “I think I look ridiculous.”

“Oh shut up,” Brad says and stands up. Kris watches him strut across the room in his blue gown, trying not to topple over. Kris bets that Brad won’t last a half hour in those shoes. “It’s Halloween. Everyone looks ridiculous.”

Just then Tommy bursts in through the bathroom, almost falling over with laughter. “Get him the hell away from me. He keeps trying to bite my neck.”

Adam emerges dressed as the sparkliest vampire Kris has ever seen in his life. He runs his tongue along his fangs. “I vant to suck your blood.”

“I’d rather you suck my dick,” Brad says. Kris can’t tell if he’s joking or not.

Kris looks over at Tommy who is leaning against the wall. He is just wearing a black hoodie, dark jeans, red lipstick, and eye makeup. “What are you supposed to be?”

Tommy shrugs. “I dunno,” he looks down at his outfit. “Myself… dead?”

“So, like a zombie?”

He shrugs again, “Sure.”

“Tommy fails at life when it comes to Halloween,” Adam says as he makes his way over to Kris and slings his arm around Kris’s shoulders, pulling him towards the door. “Last year he didn’t even party with us. He stayed in the dorm to watch _Nightmare on Elm Street_.”

The four of them make their day down the hall and to the elevator. “Shut the fuck up,” Tommy says. “That’s like the best horror movie of all time and there was a marathon on.”

Adam just ignores him and looks down at Kris, still tucked under his arm. “You look good tonight.”

“Thanks,” Kris says. The way Adam is looking at him makes Kris’s cheeks burn. “You do too.”  
-

Last Halloween Kris went trick or treating with Charles and then snuck into Katy’s house through her window and spent the rest of the night with her. The highlight of the night was getting a blowjob from Katy but, other than that, it was just a typical Halloween.

This Halloween is already so much better. Kris is drunk and Adam has one hand on the back of his neck, holding a jello shot up to Kris’s mouth and feeding it to him with the other. Then Kris takes the shot in his hand and does the same for Adam and watches as he tilts his head back to swallow. Kris sees a bead of sweat sliding down Adam’s neck and a part of him wants to get on his tippy toes to lick it off but, before he can decide anything, Adam is leaning down with his forehead pressed against Kris’s.

“Mmm,” Adam moans and wraps Kris in his arms. “You’re my favorite.”

Kris looks up at Adam’s face; it’s still white from the face paint and he’s so glittery. Kris can’t help but notice how good Adam looks tonight. If there was a costume contest, Adam would definitely win – or at least come in second to the three dudes dressed up as a couch. He leans forward to press his body against Adam's and buries his face in his neck. Adam's hands are large on his sweaty back, hot even on his already heated skin.

They stay like they for a while, wrapped up in each other. The music is too loud and there are too many people and it’s making Kris dizzy, so it’s nice to have something stable to hold on to. Eventually, Adam pulls away and his eyes are bright and he has wicked smile on his lips.

“I have an idea,” Adam yells over the music. “I’ll be right back. Don’t go anywhere.”

Kris obeys and stays put, watching Adam get swallowed by the crowd. He looks around for his friends and he sees Brad on the dance floor sucking on some guy’s neck and he spots Allison and Tommy laughing and dancing together. For some reason that makes him think of Katy and he reaches in his pocket to pull out his phone. He has a missed call from his mom and a text from Katy.

 _Happy Halloween, baby! Be safe!!!!_

He smiles but doesn’t reply. He is pretty sure that his response would end up being incoherent anyway.

Kris jumps a little when he feels a sweaty hand slip into his and the next thing he knows he’s being pulled out the front door and he and Adam stumble onto the lawn. They have a fit of giggles as they fall all over each other onto the grass. Kris is in the fetal position, clutching his stomach and trying to catch his breath.

“Remind me,” Adam says, sounding just as breathless as Kris feels, “never to drink and run ever again.”

Kris laughs like it’s the funniest thing he’s ever heard and rolls around so his face is smushed against the sleeve of Adam’s jacket.

When they finally calm down, Kris sits up and looks down at Adam and just watches him for a minute. Adam’s eyes are closed and Kris only feels a little bit creepy. He likes how pale Adam’s skin looks and how sparkly his hair is under the moonlight.

Adam’s eyes flicker open and he smiles up at Kris, “Hi.”

Kris feels a little flutter in his stomach, “Hey.”

A second later Adam’s eyes get wide and his whole face lights up, like he just remembered something important. “Look what I got,” he says and reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out two joints. “Matt gave them to me for only twenty bucks.”

Kris grins. He’s not a pothead or anything but the few times he has smoked, he loved the way it made him feel. He can’t imagine how awesome it will be smoking with Adam.

“Have you ever smoked before?” Adam asks, reaching in his other pocket for a lighter.

Kris scrambles onto his knees in front of Adam, already eager to take a hit. “A few times,” he says as he watches Adam light up. Kris briefly thinks about how pretty Adam’s face looks lit up by the orange glow of the flame. “Me and Charles used to smoke with his older brother.”

Adam nods and blows out a cloud of smoke, holding the joint out for Kris. His looks at it for a second before wrapping his lips around it and inhaling deeply, holding it in his chest before exhaling with a small cough.

They pass it back and forth for a while until they finish and then they start on the second one. He knows he probably shouldn’t be drinking and getting stoned at the same time but he doesn’t care because he’s with Adam and he feels amazing right now. Every time he takes a hit, he flicks his tongue against the tip of it, tasting Adam’s lip gloss.

As he watches Adam lips form an ‘o’ shape while slowly blowing out the smoke, Kris gets an idea. “I’ve always wanted to try something,” Kris says as he takes the joint from Adam. “Come here.”

Adam looks at him cautiously for a moment with his glassy, pink eyes before he scoots forward. Kris smiles before filling his mouth with smoke and, instead of inhaling, he reaches over and curls his fingers around the back of Adam’s neck to pull him closer. Adam keeps his eyes on Kris’s lips as he leans forward and his mouth opens instantly when they are close enough. Their lips are so close that Kris just barely feels the stickiness of Adam’s lip gloss as he blows the smoke into his mouth.

When they pull apart, Adam tilts his head to the side a little so he’s not aiming the smoke at Kris’s face. But then Adam’s face is right there again. He feels Adam’s hot breath against his lips and it makes Kris shiver.

“You cold?” Adam asks and pulls away so he can take off his jacket and he drapes it around Kris’s shoulders. He can’t help but notice the adoration in Adam’s eyes and the sweet smile on his lips. “You look good in my clothes.”

“Thanks,” Kris mumbles as a reply and repositions himself so he’s sitting next to Adam instead of in front of him and tucks himself under Adam’s arm.

Twenty minutes later they are lying on the grass, staring up at the few scattered stars in the sky.

Kris likes this lot more than being at the party. It’s so quiet and the only sound is the small puffs of their breath mingling with the night air. He wonders what this moment might look like to the rest of the world, a half naked fairy and a glittery vampire side by side watching the night sky. Kris knows that they probably look completely ridiculous but he doesn’t care. There is absolutely nowhere in the world he’d rather be.

He turns his head to look at Adam. His eyes are closed and one of his hands is placed on his stomach while his other arm is pressed against the length of Kris’s. His hair is a little messy now, a few strands curled on his forehead and it’s sticking out on the sides. He looks so calm and relaxed. Kris thinks he might be sleeping.

“Adam?” Kris whispers to make sure he doesn’t wake him up in case he really is sleeping.

Adam’s eyes flutter open and he looks over at him. He is looking at Kris with such softness that it makes him feel a swarm of butterflies in his stomach.

“Hmm?”

Kris just looks at him for another moment before saying, “How come you never sing for me?”

“Do you want me to?”

Kris nods, his lips curl into a small smile, “Yeah.”

Adam is silent for a moment and Kris thinks maybe he actually did fall asleep or he meant he’d sing for him another time. So, when he finally does hear a small, quiet voice, it startles him.

 _People say I'm the life of the party  
Because I tell a joke or two  
Although I might be laughing loud and hearty  
Deep inside I'm blue  
So take a good look at my face  
You'll see my smile looks out of place  
If you look closer, it's easy to trace  
The tracks of my tears.._

Kris has heard that song before, but never like this. It makes his chest hurt in a way that he didn’t even know was possible by just listening to somebody sing. And his voice… Kris wasn’t expecting that. He has heard Adam sing while goofing around with Brad or Tommy, but never like this. Maybe it’s because Kris is stoned or maybe because Adam is only singing for him or maybe it just really is that beautiful.

 _So take a good look at my face  
You'll see my smile looks out of place  
If you look closer, it's easy to trace  
The tracks of my tears_

When Adam finishes, Kris doesn’t even realize there is a tear falling from the corner of his eye until he feels Adam’s thumb brush against his cheek to wipe it away. Kris lets his head fall to the side when Adam pulls his hand away and he just looks at Adam’s face. He’s still a little high and it’s hard to focus so he scoots a little closer until their noses are almost touching. Kris brings his hand up and touches Adam’s face so gently it makes his eyes flutter closed. Kris runs his fingers over Adam’s cheek, almost like he’s trying to feel if Adam actually has tear tracks on his face.

“That was beautiful,” Kris whispers, finally taking his hand away from Adam’s face and instead reaches down to hook his pinky with Adam’s.

They stay like that for the rest of the night.

* * *

It’s a gentle vibration on Kris’s ass that wakes him up. He tries to open his eyes but the harsh sunlight makes him shut them tight. His skin is sweaty and sticky and it feels like somebody is pounding on his forehead. He tries to make it go away but it doesn’t work.

He reaches to his back pocket and fumbles to get his phone out. His arms feel like they weigh a ton and he can hardly move. The phone is still vibrating and he tries to open his eyes to look at the screen but his eyelids are too heavy. He decides that it’s not important and throws his phone to the side and snuggles back in. Whoever it is, he can call them back later.

Kris buries his face back in the warm spot it was in before he woke up. He is almost asleep when he notices the smell of sweat and cologne, and he can hear the steady beat of a heart under his ear. His head shoots up and he opens his eyes just enough to realize that it’s Adam. He looks around, realizing that they are outside, in the grass.

It takes him a while to figure out what the hell is going on, but then he notices the smudges of white face paint still on Adam’s skin and his wings are crumpled up next to them, and memories of last night start to come back. He remembers jello shots and weed and Adam singing to him. He remembers shot gunning with Adam and falling asleep with their fingers entwined.

Kris is never drinking again.

Part of him wants to snuggle back into Adam’s chest and go to sleep but he knows that they need to wake up and figure out how they’re going to get home. Kris doesn’t even know where they are.

“Adam,” he whispers and shakes Adam’s shoulder. “Wake up.”

“’m sleepin’,” Adam whines and scrunches his face in protest. Suddenly Kris feels two arms wrap tightly around his waist. He lets out a little surprised squeak as Adam rolls them over to use Kris as a body pillow. Adam’s hair tickles Kris’s face as he nuzzles his neck.

Kris tries to suppress a laugh so he doesn’t wake Adam up. He gingerly places his hands on his back and enjoys Adam’s warmth blanketing him.

It doesn’t take long for Adam to finally wake up. Kris is pretty sure that once Adam sees that he is on top of Kris, he will freak out and scramble away. But, when Adam does pick his head up and looks around with his eyes all squinty and sees Kris under him, he just falls back down and groans.

“I think I’m dying,” Adam mumbles into Kris’s neck. “It feels like someone is kicking my head.”

“You’re not going to die,” Kris says with a laugh. He starts to reach up to pet Adam's hair but when his hand is halfway there, he stops himself, thinking that might be a bit too intimate, but then he looks down. Adam's body is almost covering his completely and his breath is hot Kris’s neck. He thinks 'screw it' and threads his fingers through Adam's hair anyway.

Adam lets out a happy sigh and snuggles even closer. Kris gently massages his scalp with his fingertips. “Mmm,” Adam moans. “That feels nice.”

Kris feels a sudden burn in his chest and all he can think is ‘I want to keep making Adam feel good’. He continues running his fingers through Adam’s hair, loving the way Adam is practically purring in his arms.

He is about to doze off when he hears his phone vibrating next to him. Adam picks his head up again and Kris’s fingers slide out of his hair. He reaches over to grab Kris’s phone and looks at the screen. The content look on his face disappears and he pulls away from Kris’s embrace. “Katy,” he says as he hands Kris the phone.

“I…” Kris starts, not really sure of what to say because the moment just got really awkward. He wants to throw his phone on the ground and pull Adam back down and sleep on the prickly grass some more. “I’ll just be a minute.”

Adam nods and smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

“Hey,” Kris answers.

“Where have you been?” He can tell by her voice that he’s in trouble.

“I just woke up.”

“I texted you like a hundred times and you wouldn’t answer your phone last night,” she sounds more worried than mad so that makes Kris feel a little better.

“I know. I-” he starts but then Adam stands up really quickly and stumbles way, holding his hand over his mouth. He makes it over to one of the bushes before he starts vomiting. “Shit… Katy, can I call you back?”

“No, Kris,” now she just sounds annoyed. “Why can’t you talk to me right now?”

Adam’s crouching over the small bush he was just puking in and Kris wants to hang up on Katy to help him, but that would probably result in Kris losing his girlfriend. She _hates_ being hung up on.

“I went to a party last night and I probably drank more than I should’ve,” he tells her. “I’m kind of hung over.” He decided to leave out the part about the weed and passing out in the lawn.

“Since when do you get hung over?”

“Since last night, I guess.”

Katy lets out an aggravated sigh. “Okay, whatever,” she says. “I wanted to tell you something but I guess it can wait til later.”

“I’m sorry, baby,” he tells her in the sweetest voice he can muster. “I’ll be able to talk later. I promise.”

“Okay,” she says but Kris can tell she’s still mad. “I love you.”

“You too,” he says and hangs up.

When Kris looks up, Adam is making his way back towards him. His eyes are watering and his eyeliner is smudged all around his eyes. He has the biggest pout on his face and he just looks so miserable. Kris thinks it’s adorable.

“This sucks so bad,” Adam complains and plops back down next to Kris.

Kris tugs on his arm to pull him closer. Adam immediately curls into his side and Kris rubs small circles on his back to soothe him.

They sit there together miserable and aching until Brad, Tommy, Matt, and Allison stumble out, looking equally hung over, and they all get a cab to go home.

-

Kris is trying to comprehend the words on the page in front of him but it’s all just a huge blur. His head still hurts from last night and he just wants to sleep for about three years.

“Oh my god,” Cale sighs and slams his Sociology book shut. “I hate this class.”

Kris closes his too and tosses it to the side. He doesn’t hate the class; he actually likes it a lot, it’s just a lot of information to take in sometimes. He enjoys learning about different cultures and religions and just about people in general. There is a whole chapter on sexuality that Kris is a little eager to learn about. Adam stole his book one day and read the entire chapter and he told Kris all about it when he was finished.

“Let’s take a break,” Kris says and climbs up on his bed, landing face first into his pillow. He knows he can’t stay like that for too long because they still have a whole other chapter to study for the test tomorrow.

“Good idea,” Cale sprawls out on the floor and closes his eyes. “So, what did you guys do last night?”

Kris groans into his pillow. “I don’t even want to talk about it. I still feel like I’m going to throw up all over the place just thinking about alcohol.”

Cale laughs. “What the hell did you drink?”

“I don’t even know, dude,” Kris says. “But I smoked two joints with Adam after and that was the worst idea ever.”

Cale snorts a laugh but doesn’t say anything. The room is quiet and Kris is just about to fall asleep when Cale’s voice jolts him awake.

“So, you and Adam are pretty close, huh?” Cale asks.

Kris feels like there is something heavy on his chest. He’s pretty sure he knows where this is going and it’s the last conversation he wants to be having right now.

“Yeah,” he says. “We’re close.”

Cale just makes a ‘hmm’ sound but nothing else. Kris glances down at him and he is lying there, relaxed with his eyes closed and his hands on his chest. He feels anxious, like he’s about to jump out of his skin. He knows this conversation isn’t over.

“Hey, Kris,” Cale says after a few moments.

Kris swallows the lump in his throat. “Yeah?”

“Are y-” Cale starts, but then Kris’s phone goes off, interrupting him.

Kris lets out the breath he didn’t even realize he was holding. He pulls out his phone without even looking at who it is, he’s just grateful for the distraction.

“Hello.”

“Are you still too hung over to talk?” Katy asks.

Kris rolls his eyes. He’s not sure if this conversation is going to be much better than the one he was about to have with Cale.

“No,” Kris says, “but please don’t yell at me or be mad at me because I’m really tired right now and I don’t feel like dealing with that.”

“I wasn’t going to yell at you. I just wanted to be able to talk to you.”

“Okay, then,” Kris says, still a little annoyed. “Let’s talk.”

“I wanted to tell you this earlier but you were…,” she cuts herself off. “So, anyway… my parents have been kind of sick of me moping around the house lately and they can tell how much I miss you.”

Kris feels a little guilty for being an asshole. “I miss you too.”

He can immediately hear the shift of her mood just by her voice. “And when I woke up this morning I saw an envelope with my name on it,” her voice is getting really high like it always does when she’s really excited and can’t hold it in anymore. “You’ll never guess what they bought me?”

Kris doesn’t even have the brain power right now to attempt to guess. “What?”

“A plane ticket!” She practically squeals. “To see you!”

Kris sits up straight and rubs his eyes with his fist to wake himself up. “Are you serious?”

“Yes!” He hasn’t heard her be this excited in a long time. It’s actually nice to hear. “This weekend.”

“Wow, that’s… that’s awesome, baby,” he says, and he means it. He can’t wait to see her. But, he’s not as excited as he should be. They haven’t seen each other in months but he can’t help but think that something doesn’t feel right about it.

“I know, I’m so excited,” she says. “I can’t wait to see you. I’m sorry I was being so annoying earlier. I just worry about you sometimes.”

“It’s okay,” he tells her. “I was a jerk, too.”

“No more fighting,” she says in this adorable voice. It makes him feel warmth in his chest. He really does miss her.

“I agree,” Kris smiles. “No more fighting.”

They talk for a few more minutes but then Katy needs to go to bed and they hang up. He can’t believe that she’s going to be here, in his room, on his bed. She’s going to meet Brad and Tommy and Cale. She’s going to meet Adam. That makes his stomach churn. He can’t even imagine what it would be like to have the two of them together.

“So Katy’s coming?” Cale asks.

Kris looks down at him and nods, “Yeah. I guess so.”

Cale sits up and looks at Kris. “You don’t seem very excited.”

“I am,” Kris says defensively. “I’m just really tired.”

The door swings open and Brad and Adam stumble inside with huge grins on their faces and giggling. Brad drapes himself on Cale’s back and kisses him on the cheek while Adam sits next to Kris on the bed.

He doesn’t even realize that Adam as two cups from Starbucks in his hand until he’s offering Kris one. “I got you your usual,” Adam says as Kris takes the cup. “I figured you would need it after studying all night.”

Kris smiles warmly at Adam before taking a sip. It’s hot chocolate. Adam knows it’s his favorite. The hot liquid makes him feel so much better and he wants to hug Adam for bringing it to him. Adam seems to read his mind because he feels an arm slip around his shoulders and he’s being pulled into Adam’s side. Kris smiles, feeling warm and content.

“How much longer are you going to be studying?” Adam asks quietly, close to Kris’s ear.

He takes another sip of his hot chocolate before answering. “Not too long. We only have a chapter left.”

“You wanna watch a movie when you’re done?”

Kris looks up at him. “Yeah, I’ll just come in whenever we finish.”

Adam squeezes his shoulders before getting up and walking into his room.

“So, did you tell him?” Cale asks.

Kris glances down at him and sees Brad painting his toes a bright purple color. He raises an eyebrow but doesn’t say anything.

“No,” Kris says. “I forgot.”

Cale snorts, “Yeah, okay.”

“Wait,” Brad says as he pushes Cale’s foot away and turns around to face Kris. “What did I miss?”

“Nothing.”

“Katy is coming to visit,” Cale says with a huge grin on his face like he just revealed something big and important. Kris wants to punch him right now. “And it just happened to slip his mind.”

“Oh my god,” Brad flails his hands. “So, she is coming here? Like… in this room?”

Kris shrugs. He hasn’t really thought about what he’ll be doing with Katy when she gets here. “Yeah, I guess.”

“Does that mean I’ll have to find somewhere else to sleep?” Brad asks. “I can deal with your quiet muffled moans when you jerk off at night but I don’t know if I want to watch you fuck your girlfriend.”

Kris’s eyes get super wide and his face is a bright shade of pink. “You…”

“Can hear you masturbating?” Brad laughs. “Yes. It’s actually pretty hot. But, I’m not into straight sex so keep that to yourself.”

Kris groans and buries his face in his hands. He really hates his life sometimes.

After they finish talking, Kris and Cale get back to studying and speed through the last chapter. Kris’s mind is all over the place and he has no idea what he read but he just wants to get it over with so he can hang out with Adam.

As soon as Cale leaves, Kris quickly changes into his pajama pants and a white tank top and goes over to the sink to brush his teeth and take out his contacts. He looks around for his glasses for a minute before he remembers that they’re in Adam’s room.

When he walks in, all of the lights are on and the television is playing the main menu of _The Lion King_ over and over again on a loop. Adam is sprawled out on his bed with the blankets kicked to the floor.

Kris walks up to Adam’s bed and looks down at him with nothing but adoration. His face is smushed against his pillow and his arms are tucked under his chest. Kris carefully reaches down and runs his fingers through Adam’s hair, trying not to wake him but he can’t help it because it looks so soft.

He goes over to the TV and turns it off and then unlocks the door so Tommy can get in because he usually forgets his key. After he turns off the lights, he bends down to pick up Adam’s blanket and crawls into the small space between Adam and the wall, covering the both of them with it. He cuddles up as close as he can to Adam, burying his face in the soft material of Adam’s shirt.

He’ll tell him about Katy tomorrow.

* * *

“My throat hurts!”

Kris rolls his eyes. Adam has been sick for the past two days and he won’t stop complaining. At first Kris thought it was cute; he brought Adam his ginger ale, sat with him and pet his hair until his hand cramped up, and did whatever else Adam wanted. Now, he is just being annoying.

“God, you’re so dramatic,” Kris sounds annoyed, but looks down at Adam adoringly. As demanding and whiney Adam is, Kris can’t help but want to take care of him. He blames it on his mama always babying him when he’s sick.

Right now, Adam is curled up, using Kris’s stomach as a pillow. “’m not dramatic. I’m sick.”

Kris yawns and threads his fingers through Adam’s hair, “I know.”

They are both pretty exhausted. Adam coughs all night so he hasn’t been getting much sleep and Kris gets up every few hours to give Adam his medicine or to make sure his water is still cold because Adam’s mouth gets dry in the middle of the night and he absolutely hates warm water.

Kris sighs and brushes Adam’s hair back from his sweaty forehead. “You know I can’t sit here forever with you, right? I have to pick up Katy soon.”

Adam groans and pulls the sheet over his head.

Kris chuckles and pushes the sheet back down. “Oh, come on,” he says. “You’ll love her. I promise.”

Adam sniffles and rubs his nose with the back of his hand. “I’m not worried about that. I look like shit, Kristopher. I don’t want to meet anyone looking like this.”

“Well, she won’t care what you look like,” he tells Adam.

They both look like shit, though. Neither of them have showered in a couple of days so they both probably reek. Adam’s tissues are all over the place and he’s all sweaty and probably contagious. Brad and Tommy won’t come within five feet of him. Kris really should think it’s gross and stay away too, but he knows that Adam would do the same for him.

“I can’t believe you’re ditching me all weekend,” Adam pouts. “Who is supposed to make sure I take my medicine so I don’t die in the middle of the night?”

Kris tilts Adam’s head up and looks into his glassy blue eyes. “Dude, you’re nineteen. I’m pretty sure you can remember to take some Nyquil before you go to sleep.”

“I know,” Adam says and sniffles again, looking sad. “I just don’t want to be by myself all weekend. You’re the only one who isn’t afraid to come near me.”

That makes Kris’s heart break a little and he wants nothing more than for Katy to come down another weekend so he can stay with Adam until he feels better. Unfortunately, he’s pretty sure Katy would be really mad if he said ‘Hey, can you come down next weekend so I can stay in bed with Adam until he’s better?’

Kris reaches forward to rub Adam’s back. “You know I’ll be texting you constantly and you can call me up whenever you need something. I’ll probably be in here checking up on you all the time.”

“Promise?”

Kris smiles, “I promise.

-

“Dude, calm the fuck down,” Brad puts his hand on Kris’s jittering leg to stop it. “You’re acting like it’s your first date or something. You’ve known her forever.”

Kris sucks in a deep breath and sits back in the chair. “I know, it’s just...” he tries to think of a way to describe how he feels. “I can’t picture her with everyone, you know? Like, in our room, with our friends. It’s weird.”

“It will be fine. She’ll love everyone. Especially me because… well, it’s me.” Brad reassures him. “Now chill the fuck out or I’ll leave you here and make you find your own way home.”

They’ve been at the airport for a half hour and Katy sent Kris a text telling him her flight just landed about five minutes ago. Kris feels nauseous and he hopes it goes away when he actually sees her. It feels like forever since the last time he’s seen her, but it was only a couple months ago.

Brad eventually starts complaining that his ass hurts from sitting for so long, and that’s when Kris finally sees her. She is walking in his direction, her eyes darting all over trying to find him. Finally, when their eyes meet, his breath catches in his throat. He gets up out of his chair and his heart is beating a million miles a minute as he jogs towards her.

Once they are close enough, he pulls her in his arms and it feels like she never left. Her hair still smells the same, that strawberry scent that he loves. She feels so small and delicate, and he’s afraid if he squeezes her too hard she might break.

He takes in a shaky breath. It took until this very moment for him to realize how much he missed her. When he pulls away, he looks at her face. Her hazel eyes are brimmed with tears and she’s biting her bottom lip to keep from smiling too hard. Somehow in the past two months he forgot how beautiful she really is.

“Hi,” he whispers, his lips curling into a soft smile.

Kris cups her face in his hands and leans in to kiss her. Her lips are soft and she still tastes sweet, like candy or cherries. He feels her tiny hands gripping his shoulders as she pushes herself up to deepen the kiss even more.

When they finally break apart, her eyes are shining and she just looks so happy, “Hey.”

Kris hears a loud sob and he looks over to see Brad standing next to them, a napkin dabbing away the fake tears on his cheeks and his bottom lip quivering. “That…” he sighs dramatically, “was so touching.”

He laughs and playfully shoves Brad. Katy glances back and forth between the two of them with a confused look on her face, probably wondering who the random boy in bright purple pants is.

“Katy, this is Brad,” he says and, by the look on her face, Brad is not what she expected. “Brad, this is Katy.”

Brad reaches his hand out to shake hers, but he doesn’t let it go. “It’s so nice to meet you. I’m sure Kris has told you so much about me,” he pulls her towards him and whispers just loud enough for Kris to hear. “And if you can’t repeat it, it’s probably true.”

“Oh god,” Kris mutters under his breath. “Brad, don’t scare her.”

Brad looks at him like he has no idea what he’s talking about – even though he totally does. “What are you talking about?” He tugs Katy by her hand and pulls her out of Kris’s grip, tucking her right under his arm. “Come on, Katy. We’ll wait in the car while Kris gets your bags.”

As the two of them walk away, Katy glances over her shoulder with a worried expression on her face. Kris can’t help but laugh. He knows that Brad is completely harmless, but she has never met anyone like him before.

On the way back to the dorm, Kris and Katy sit in the back seat while Brad drives. Their fingers are laced together and it makes Kris feel warm all over.

“I can’t believe you live here, baby,” Katy says as she gazes wide eyed out the window.

He squeezes her hand. “I know, right? It’s amazing here.”

“I better be getting a tip for being your chauffeur,” Brad interrupts them for the thousandth time, glaring at Kris through the rear view mirror, “and for having to watch this public display of heterosexual affection.”

Kris sticks his tongue out at him and pulls Katy closer, placing a kiss on her forehead. Brad makes a gagging sound.

They drive for a few more minutes and Kris is staring out the window with Katy curled up under his arm. He sees a CVS up ahead and it reminds him that Adam is running out of medicine.

“Hey, can you stop up here so I can get some stuff for Adam?” Kris asks, and starts unbuckling his seat belt once Brad turns into the parking lot.

The three of them get out of the car and walk in the store. Kris grabs one of the baskets from the stack near the door.

“I just need to get some Nyquil and some soup,” he says and reaches for Katy’s hand.

They find the aisle with the soup, and Kris isn’t sure how much to get so he grabs three cans. He’s pretty sure Adam likes tomato. If not, he’ll make Adam eat it anyway. When they get to the medicine aisle, Kris looks for the Nyquil but he finds it in little tablets instead of the liquid kind.

“Do you think I should get him these instead?” Kris asks but neither of them responds. “He hates the liquid stuff.”

“God,” Brad huffs. “Are you sure Katy is your girlfriend and not Adam?”

Kris chuckles and looks down at Katy, who didn’t seem to find it as funny as Kris did. “He’s kidding, babe.”

She looks up at him with a weak smile, “I know.”

He tilts her face up and places a small kiss on her nose, which makes her smile for real.

Kris throws the medicine in the basket before he takes Katy’s hand again. As they are walking towards the front to cash out, they pass the aisle with the paints and crayons.

“I should get him a coloring book or something,” Kris smiles, looking down at the small selection of them. The princess one catches his eye and he picks it up. “He’d love it.”

Brad rolls his eyes, “Oh come on. Not even Adam is that gay.”

Katy raises her eyebrow, “You really think he’d want a princess coloring book?”

“He’s going to have to stay in bed all weekend with nothing to do,” Kris says and puts the coloring book in the basket along with the soup and medicine. He also grabs the 96 pack of crayons. “It will keep him entertained when nobody is around.”

They finally get to the cash register to pay and Brad throws a box of condoms on the counter. Kris shoots him a look. “I’m not paying for your condoms, Brad.”

“Hun, those are for you,” Brad smirks at the two of them. “I already have my own stash at home.”

Kris looks down at Katy and he’s pretty sure her face is just as red as his is. He grabs the box and tosses them back at Brad. “Put those back.”

He already bought some a couple days ago.

“Fine,” Brad says and turns on his heel to put them back where he found them, his voice getting louder the further away he gets, “but if she gets pregnant, don’t come crying to me.”

Katy has her head down, completely embarrassed. Kris wants to punch Brad. He wishes that Brad would just behave while Katy is here but Kris knows that he won’t. Brad likes to make his impression on people and, judging by Katy’s face, he’s definitely made one on her.

“I’m sorry, baby,” Kris says. “He just takes a little getting used to.”

She crosses her arms over her chest and Kris can tell she’s uncomfortable. “It’s fine.”

When they get back to the car, Kris slaps Brad on the back of the head.

-

Brad drops them off at the dorm and then leaves to stay with Cassidy for the night. Katy’s mood shifts the second Brad drives away. That annoys Kris a little bit but he doesn’t say anything. Brad is one of Kris’s closest friends here and he doesn’t want Katy not to like him.

“I can’t wait to meet the rest of your friends,” she says, sounding excited. Her arm is around Kris’s waist while holding one of her bags with the other.

Kris grins down at her. “You’re going to love Alli and especially Cale. He’s a lot like our friends from home.”

They talk some more on their way up to Kris’s room, mostly about what they are going to be doing this weekend. Kris can’t wait to show her around. She’s going to love it in L.A.

“Finally we’re alone!” Katy says and drops her bags to the floor as soon as they get in his room. She wraps her arms around Kris’s neck and pulls him down for a long, sweet kiss. She smiles up at him. “I missed you so much.”

“I know, baby,” he leans down for another kiss, and then another. “Me too.”

They stay like that for a while, holding each other and exchanging kisses. Each one makes Kris’s heart flutter. This is what he has missed the most, the kissing and the touching. He misses the days when he could have it whenever he wanted. Since he can only have it for such a short amount of time, he’s going to take as much as he can get.

Kris pulls away eventually, pressing their foreheads together as they catch their breath.

“I missed that,” he tells her and reaches down to tangle their fingers together.

He is about to lean in for another kiss when he hears a cough coming from the next room. Kris pulls back from her the way he used to when his mom would walk in on them making out in his room.

She looks up at him with her lips still parted and unsure of what just happened. “What’s wrong?”

Kris shakes his head and smiles nervously. “Nothing,” he says and wipes his sweaty palms on the fabric of his jeans. “You, uh, haven’t met Adam yet.”

He grabs the bag with the stuff be bought for Adam and takes Katy’s hand, pulling her through the bathroom. He turns the bathroom light on so he doesn’t have to turn Adam’s on and he’ll still be able to see.

The streak of light coming in the room splays across Adam’s back. He is shirtless now and lying on his stomach, facing away from them. The sheets are kicked to the foot of the bed and he turned the air down since the last time Kris was in there so it’s freezing.

Kris lets go of Katy’s hand and goes over to turn the thermostat up to 72 degrees. He’s starting to think the reason Adam got sick is because he keeps it down so low. After that, he takes out one of that cans of soup and goes over to the counter to open in, pour it in a bowl, and puts it in the microwave.

When the soup is finished, Kris brings it over to the little table next to Adam’s bed that is covered with dirty tissues and empty water bottles. He touches the full one with his fingers to make sure it’s still cold.

“Adam,” Kris whispers and sinks his hand into Adam’s hair, combing it back with his fingers. It’s a little damp and it smells really good so Kris guesses he must’ve taken a shower while he was gone. “Wake up.”

Adam buries his face even further into the pillow and Kris smiles up at Katy. “It’s impossible to wake him up.”

“Adam!” He says a little bit louder, leaning down so he’s right near Adam’s ear. “I made you soup.”

“Jesus Christ,” Adam groans into his pillow. “You’re worse than my mom.”

Kris laughs and gets up to hand Adam his soup. “I made you tomato.”

Adam makes a face, “Did you make me grilled cheese?”

“Are you serious?”

“How am I supposed to eat tomato soup without grilled cheese?”

Despite how annoyed Kris is trying to come off as, he can’t help but grin. “You’re impossible.”

Adam just ignores him and eats his soup happily.

“Oh!” Kris says and makes his way back over to Katy. He places his hand on the small of her back to push her towards Adam. “This is Katy.”

Adam looks up from his bowl and sniffles.

“Hi,” he says, looking a little embarrassed. “I, uh, I’d shake your hand or something but I think I’m contagious.”

Katy smiles politely. “It’s fine,” she says. “It’s nice to meet you. Kris talks about you all the time.”

A shit eating grin spreads on Adam’s face and Kris tries to ignore them like he can’t hear what they’re talking about. “That’s because I’m his favorite.”

“You wish,” Kris says as he sits back down next to Adam and they exchange a look before Adam goes back to his soup. He digs through the bag of stuff be bought and gets out the medicine. “I got you Nyquil in these little tablets so you don’t have to take the liquid stuff.”

Adam’s eyes get wide and he puts his nearly empty soup bowl down next to him. “Are you saying I’ve been taking that nasty shit my whole life when I didn’t have to?”

Kris opens the box and takes out one little packet with two tablets and hands it to Adam, watching him swallow and chase them down with his water. Usually he has to sit here for ten minutes to convince Adam to drink the liquid kind. This is much better.

“And I got you something to keep you busy this weekend while you’re sitting here.”

Adam’s face lights up and he actually bounces on the bed a little. That alone makes it totally worth buying the coloring book and crayons.

“Here,” Kris says and gives the coloring book to him. “Katy and Brad thought it was dumb but I thought you might like it.”

When Adam sees what it is he makes a little happy noise and pulls Kris in for a hug. “Kris!” He squeals. “This is the sweetest thing ever.” Adam sees the box of crayons over Kris’s shoulder and he lets out a tiny gasp. “No way!” He says when he pulls back from the hug but keeps his hands on Kris’s shoulders. “I always made my mom buy me the 96 pack when I was a kid. It has all of the sparkly colors.” He stares at Kris for a long moment before pulling him back for another hug. “I love you.”

Kris feels a little flutter low in his belly like he does every time Adam says that. “I know,” he presses his cheek against Adam’s bare shoulder. “I love you too.”

“Seriously,” Adam says when he pulls out of Kris’s embrace and he looks up at Katy. “You have the most amazing boyfriend in the world.”

“Yeah,” Katy smiles at Kris. “He’s pretty great.”

“Anyway,” Kris says and stands up. “You need to go back to sleep so you can get better and hang out with us this weekend.”

Adam lets out a little whiney noise. “I’m not tired.”

“But you just took Nyquil, so you will be.”

He cleans up Adam's bed, picking up the bowl of soup, coloring book, and crayons and puts them on the table, then pulls Adam's blankets up so they aren't squished down at the foot of the bed.

“Text me if you need anything,” Kris says as Adam wraps himself up in his blankets. “I’ll be back to check on you soon, kay?”

Adam yawns and closes his eyes, letting out a small cough and a sniffle. “Thank you, Kris.”

Kris watches him for a moment before leading Katy out of the room and closing the door behind them.

Katy walks over to the other side of the room and stands in front of a giant collage of pictures pinned up on a corkboard that Brad made last week. There had to be at least two hundred pictures taken throughout the year so far. Kris stands next to her and looks up at them with a smile on his face.

There are pictures of the whole group – Allison, Matt, Cale, Adam, Kris, Brad, and Tommy – and then other random ones of them in smaller groups. Brad is in most of them because he’s the one with the camera. There are also quite a bit of Kris and Adam. Ones of Kris sleeping with his head on Adam’s lap, the two of them flicking off the camera, Kris drunk and draped all over Adam’s back, laughing hysterically.

He looks up at his favorite; it’s of him and Adam in a photo booth at the mall a few weeks ago. The first shot is of the two of them with their fingers up their noses, the second is of them crouching over with laughter, the third is Kris reaching up and grabbing Adam’s face, squishing his lips together, and the fourth is of Adam leaning down to kiss Kris’s cheek while Kris tries to touch his nose with his tongue.

“You two are really close, aren’t you?” Katy asks, still looking up at the pictures.

Even though he knows who she means, he asks anyway, “Who?”

“You and Adam.”

“Yeah,” Kris says as he looks up at one of the pictures in the far right corner.

It’s a group photo, everyone squeezed together with their arms around each other and looking at the camera, except for Adam and Kris. The two of them are standing a little bit apart from everyone else. Adam is behind Kris with his arms wrapped around Kris’s middle and his chin rested on Kris’s shoulder and making a sour face, while Kris is tilting his head back to look at him with a huge grin.

“We’re pretty close.”

* * *

Kris wakes up to the scent of strawberries and something soft tickling his nose. There is a warm weight on his chest, and he opens his eyes to blonde hair splayed across his pillow.

The grin on his face is so wide, it makes his cheeks hurt.

He drops a soft kiss on her forehead before slipping out of bed and picks through the clothes scattered on the floor, pulling on his boxers, and heads to the bathroom. After going pee, he pokes his head in Adam and Tommy’s room, smiling at the sight of messy black hair peeking out over the blankets.

He tiptoes in and checks Adam’s water before sitting on the edge of the bed. Adam’s eyes open instantly, giving Kris a sleepy smile.

“How are you feeling?” Kris whispers, brushing Adam’s hair back and gently touching his forehead with the back of his fingers to see if he’s still warm.

Adam shrugs and snuggles deeper into his blankets, sniffling quietly. “’m okay,” he mumbles into the sheets. “I still can’t breathe out of my nose.”

Kris frowns and his hand trails down Adam’s cheek and settles on his neck. His skin is sweaty and hot.

“You need anything?” Kris asks, his thumb stroking Adam’s neck. The bit of stubble feels weird under his fingertips.

Adam peers up at Kris, his eyes glassy and a little pink. “Ginger ale, please?”

Kris gives him a sweet smile. “Sure.”

He gets up and takes a can of ginger ale out of the mini fridge and brings it over to Adam, slipping his hand behind Adam’s shoulder to help him sit up. Adam takes a few sips and hands it back to Kris.

“I almost forgot!” Adam’s eyes light up and he reaches over to his nightstand to pull out his coloring book. He flips through the pages quickly until he finds the one he was looking for. “I made this for you.”

Kris takes it and his face splits into a stupid grin. It’s a blue haired princess with bright red lip stick wearing a black dress, kissing a purple frog. “It’s awesome.”

“I figured you would like it,” Adam says, admiring his work from over Kris’s shoulder. “The frog’s name is Kris.”

Kris chuckles and turns to Adam. “So does that make me your Prince Charming?”

“Something like that,” Adam’s eyes flicker up to meet his. They are so bright and blue and intense that Kris can’t look away.

“Thank you for taking care of me,” Adam says softly. “I know it’s probably the last thing you want to be doing when Katy’s here.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Kris tells him. “It doesn’t matter who’s here. I like taking care of you.”

Adam’s mouth twitches into a small smile as he begins to crawl back under the covers, but he doesn’t say a word. He yawns and smacks his lips as soon as his head hits the pillow.

“You need anything else?” Kris asks.

“No,” Adam says sleepily. “Thank you, though.”

Kris gets up off his bed, with his drawing in hand, and heads towards the door. He stands in there for a moment, watching Adam drift off before he goes back to his room where Katy is still asleep.

He gets a piece of tape from his desk and hangs Adam’s drawing up on the wall next to his bed. The bare, white wall needed some color, anyway. When he’s done with that, he slides back in bed, pulling Katy close.

Kris stares at the drawing for a while, noticing all of the weird colors. Adam always seemed like the type that would color outside the lines. He smiles at the thought of Adam crouching over his coloring book, concentrating real hard on trying to make the picture look pretty. Kris imagines the proud look he probably had on his face when he was finished with it.

His eyes drop to the bottom of the page where the words _Love, Adam_ are scribbled in a bright green color.

Kris falls back asleep with a smile on his lips.

-

“I can’t believe I’m leaving tomorrow,” Katy says from the other side of the room, leaning over the sink to put on her mascara. “I just got here.”

Kris finishes tying his shoe and stands up to straighten his shirt. “I know, babe,” he says, walking over to stand behind her and looks at the two of them in the mirror. “But then I’ll be back home in a couple of weeks for Thanksgiving.”

Katy turns around to face him. “I’m sick of living on the other side of the country from you.”

Kris reaches up to cup her chin, her skin is soft against his fingers. She put on makeup tonight, which she doesn’t do very often, and her hair is down in loose curls over her shoulders. She looks gorgeous.

He leans down and drops a kiss on her nose, making her scrunch her face adorably. “It’ll be worth it someday, when I’m all rich and famous.”

She steps forward and wraps her arms around his waist, resting her head on his chest. “I hope so.”

They hold each other, slowly rocking back and forth on their feet, while Kris quietly hums a song he wrote for her years ago.

“Kristopher!” Brad’s voice echoes from the bathroom.

Kris cringes and he feels Katy sigh against his chest as they reluctantly pull away from each other just as Brad emerges from the bathroom holding up two pairs of pants.

“I have a huge fashion emergency and Adam refuses to help me,” he explains. “I don’t know which pair of jeans I want to wear.”

Kris looks at them and they both look exactly the same. “What’s the difference?”

“These show off my ass better,” he says, holding up the ones in his right hand, “and these show off my… well, I don’t want to use that kind of language in front of your girlfriend.” Brad winks at Katy.

Kris snorts a laugh a shakes his head. “Uh,” his eyes flicker back and forth between the two. He decides on the ass pants. “Those, I guess.”

“Thanks, hun,” Brad blows him a kiss and heads back into the bathroom. Kris knows that if Katy wasn’t there, he would change right in front of him, so at least he’s being considerate about some things.

Kris wants to go back to two minutes ago, before Brad interrupted them, but Katy is already sitting on the floor and folding her clothes, packing to leave tomorrow. She has that look on her face that says she’s annoyed but doesn’t want to talk about it. He already irritated her earlier when he insisted they go out with his friends so she can meet everyone, instead of just the two of them like she wanted to, so Kris doesn’t say anything.

“Knock, knock,” Kris hears a loud, raspy voice coming from the other side of his door.

Allison bursts through before Kris can even say ‘come in’ with Cale and Matt trailing in behind her. He realizes his friends have no sense of privacy.

“You must be Katy!” Allison pushes past Kris and joins Katy on the floor, holding out her hand for Katy to shake. “I’m Allison,” she grins and lets go of Katy’s hand to point behind her, “and that’s Matt and Cale.”

Katy smiles politely. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“You have such pretty hair,” Allison says, reaching out to touch the tips of it. “It’s so soft. Mine is a mess from dying it too much.”

The two of them start discussing hair products and stuff Kris knows nothing about so he stops paying attention. It makes him happy that Katy seems to be comfortable with Allison. He knew they’d get along.

“Dude,” Matt whispers. “Your girlfriend is hot.”

“Yeah, she is,” Kris says and pushes Matt playfully, but his voice sounds completely serious. “So keep your hands off.”

Cale laughs at the two of them. “So she leaves tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” Kris sighs. “It sucks because she just got to spend one day here.”

“At least you got to spend some time with her. I would kill to be able to see my girlfriend.”

“Sorry, man,” Kris squeezes Cale’s shoulder sympathetically. “But at least you’ll get to see her in a few weeks.”

They all talk for a while; Kris, Cale, and Matt talk about classes and guitars while Katy and Allison giddily discuss their nails and eyeshadow. It makes Kris happy being with all of his friends. He thinks that maybe Katy could easily fit into his life here.

Eventually Tommy barges in, rolling his eyes and shaking his head. “Dude,” he says to Kris. “I need to switch rooms. They drive me nuts.”

Kris chuckles. He can’t imagine what Adam and Brad must be up to.

“They were coloring in that stupid coloring book you bought for Adam and--”

Matt cuts in, a smirk on his face. “You bought Adam a coloring book?”

Kris ignores him.

Tommy continues. “They are fighting over what color Cinderella’s dress is. It was vicious. I’m pretty sure they are clawing each others’ eyes out as we speak.”

“…it’s blue!” Brad’s voice comes drifting into his room.

Adam walks backwards into the room, still facing Brad, his eyes wide and his hands flailing around in frustration. “I swear on my life her dress is yellow.”

“Are you seriously questioning me on my princess knowledge?” Brad says, now practically chest to chest with Adam. If they weren’t arguing about a dress, Kris might be worried they’d start throwing punches. “I watched Cinderella every day for months when I was six.”

Adam lets out an aggravated sigh and turns to the boys. “Do you guys remember?”

They all look at Adam with a blank stare. Kris is pretty sure he’s never seen Cinderella and he doesn’t plan on it anytime soon.

“Sorry, dude,” Allison says from where she is still sitting next to Katy. “I’m pretty sure it’s blue.”

Katy nods her head in agreement.

“Ha!” Brad actually twirls around. “Don’t ever question this princess on his knowledge of princesses.”

Adam actually looks upset about this, which is pretty much the stupidest thing to be upset about, and it makes Kris feel bad. He reaches over and tugs on the seam of Adam’s jacket. “If it makes you feel any better, I like the princess you colored me earlier.”

Adam’s face lights up and his grin gets so wide that he gets little crinkles in the corners of his eyes. He wraps his arm around Kris’s neck and pulls him close. “At least somebody appreciates me.”

Kris rests his cheek against the rough material of Adam’s jacket, and then it registers that Adam is actually wearing a jacket, jeans, and boots. He looks up at Adam’s face and sees he has eyeliner and lip gloss on, and his hair is sticking up perfectly. Definitely not the pajamas he has been lounging in for the past few days.

“Are you coming out tonight?”

“If I stay in bed for one more night, I’ll die of boredom.”

Kris fingers tighten around Adam’s waist. “Well, if you start feeling bad, you better go home.”

Adam swoops down and places a soft kiss on Kris’s cheek bone, pulling away with a sweet smile. “Yes, mom.”

“You guys are sickening,” Brad says as he pushes past them. “Now let’s go. My scrawny ass is starving.”

-

They all stumble out of the car as soon as they pull up to the Olive Garden. Everyone had to cram in the car uncomfortably, and Kris’s leg is a little numb from Katy sitting on his lap.

“I am never letting him sit on my lap again,” Matt scurries away from Brad as soon as his feet touch the pavement. “He was, like, bouncing on me the entire time.”

They all burst out laughing, and Brad chases after him. “Aw, Matt. You’re just upset that a guy turned you on.”

Matt’s ears turn a bright shade of red. “You did not.”

Brad snorts. “Oh, then can you please explain to me what I felt poking me in my ass?”

Kris is shaking with laughter as he watches Matt practically run inside. Katy’s hand slips into his, startling him at first, but then he squeezes it back. She smiles up at him. “Your friends are weird.”

“No they’re not,” Kris says, probably a little ruder than he meant to be. “They are just different than our friends in Arkansas.”

Katy purses her lips together but doesn’t respond.

They have to pull three tables together so they can all sit down. Katy stays practically glued to Kris’s side as everyone decides where they want to sit. Kris feels a hand ruffle his hair as Adam takes the seat on the other side of him.

“I wish the drinking age was eighteen,” Brad says as he picks up the drink menu. “I would kill for a strawberry daiquiri right now.”

The thought of alcohol still makes Kris feel sick from Halloween. “If I drank anything right now, I’d probably throw up.”

Brad looks up at Kris from over his menu. “Well, maybe next time you shouldn’t drink so much that you pass out in the yard.”

Kris kicks Brad under the table. He hasn’t told Katy about that.

She glances up at Kris. “When did that happen?”

Kris sinks in his chair, feeling a little bit ashamed. “Last weekend,” he tells her. “It wasn’t that big of a deal.”

Katy remains quiet for a moment, but then the realization hits her. “So, that’s why you couldn’t talk to me that day?”

He really wishes they could have this conversation when they weren’t surrounded by his friends.

“Baby, I-”

Adam interrupts him. “Don’t blame him,” Adam tells her, his voice soft and apologetic. “It was my fault for dragging him out there because I was sick of the party. He wasn’t so drunk that he passed out. We just fell asleep.”

Kris needs to thank Adam later for not mentioning the weed. But, judging by Katy’s face, she still wasn’t happy.

“And they were all curled up together on the lawn the next morning,” Tommy teases, a wicked smile on his face.

Kris takes a sugar packet from the table and chucks it at him.

“Hey, how are you guys doing?” The waiter comes up to the table and Kris thanks God for the distraction. “I’m Jacob and I’ll be your waiter tonight.”

“Hello, Jacob,” Brad says from across the table. He’s not even hiding the fact that he’s undressing the guy with his eyes.

Kris has to admit that the guy is pretty attractive. He has really nice green eyes.

Jacob smirks. “Can I get you guys anything to drink?”

He takes their drink orders and Brad watches Jacob walk away. “I know what I’m having for dessert.”

“You should give him your number,” Allison says, encouraging him. Kris thought she knew by now to never encourage Brad.

Brad rolls his eyes. “I don’t give boys my number. I wait for them to give me theirs.”

“What if he doesn’t?” Cale asks.

Brad looks at Cale like he has three heads. “Trust me,” he says confidently. “He will.”

Jacob comes back a few minutes later with their drinks. “I’ll be back in a moment with your salad and bread sticks,” he says, and, despite Brad’s desperate attempt for his attention, his eyes stay on Adam.

Maybe Kris is imagining it, but he’s pretty sure he sees a little pink in Adam’s cheeks.

“So, what are you getting?” Adam asks Kris as soon as Jacob walks away.

Kris shrugs. “Probably just the chicken parm, like always.”

“You’re sharing,” Adam tells him, like he doesn’t have a choice. “I think I’m getting the fettuccini alfredo. You like that, right?”

Kris nods. He and Adam have a habit of sharing their food whenever they go out. It started with just innocently sneaking a few bites from each other’s plate, but now they actually make a small dish of their food for each other. It’s a little weird, but it also means Kris gets to eat two things at once, so it’s also really awesome.

Jacob and another waiter bring out three baskets of bread sticks and three large bowls of salad. As soon as they hit the table, everyone reaches for a bread stick and fights over the bowls of salad.

Kris takes the bowl of salad from Cale, who is sitting right across from him, and scoops some into his and Katy’s dishes before passing it to Adam.

He can feel Adam’s eyes on him as he picks all of the olives, carrots, and onions out of the salad and pushes them to the side of his dish. “You and your hatred towards anything healthy,” Adam says, his focus solely on Kris while the rest of their friends chatter loudly around them.

“Shut up,” Kris says and picks up his dish to scrape all of the stuff he doesn’t want into Adam’s. “I’m eating the lettuce. That’s healthy.”

Adam just shakes his head and grins as he takes a huge bite of his salad.

Everything goes pretty smoothly for a while. They order their food and talk and laugh. Kris tries to make sure Katy doesn’t feel left out. The only people she seems to enjoy talking to are Allison and Cale, which is fine. It’s just that Kris really wanted her to get along with Adam. The two of them haven’t really had time to talk yet.

Jacob and the other waiter from before bring out their food a little while later.

“So, Jacob,” Brad flirts as he puts Brad’s plate down on the table. “How long have you lived in LA?”

He places Allison’s plate on the table before answering. “Just a few months,” he answers, but then moves on down the table, as if the conversation is over. Kris chokes down his drink, trying not to laugh at Brad’s face. He’s pretty sure Brad isn’t used to rejection.

Jacob puts Kris’s chicken parmesan in front of him without a word, but as he leans over Adam to give him his food, he hears Jacob say quietly, “Be careful, the plate is hot.” Normally, it wouldn’t bother Kris. Waiters say stuff like that all of the time. It’s just the way Jacob said it irritated Kris, and he isn’t even sure why.

“Thanks,” Adam smiles up at him, and then glances at Kris real quick. “Oh, can you bring two small plates, please?”

Jacob actually winks at Adam. Kris hates when people wink. “No problem.”

Matt starts laughing with a mouth full of food. “Looks like Brad’s not the one going home with that dude’s number.”

Brad starts stabbing the chicken on his plate with his fork. “Whatever. He’s not that hot, anyway.”

“Woo!” Allison yells from across the table. “Go, Adam!”

Adam looks up at her, a little confused. “What?”

“He was hitting on you,” Allison tells him.

Adam’s eyes get big and he looks around, like he’s trying to see it for himself, even though Jacob isn’t even around right now. “When?”

Tommy laughs. “Dude, are you really that blind?”

Adam ducks his head down and spins a piece of pasta on his fork. “You guys are on drugs,” he says, like someone being attracted to him is the most impossible thing in the world. “A guy like that would never hit on a guy like me.”

Kris feels a pang in his chest. He hates when Adam feels insecure about himself. Kris wishes he could show him that he is beautiful, and he is deserving of a guy even better than Jacob, because, in Kris’s opinion, Jacob isn’t that great.

“Wait until he comes back,” Allison says as she shoves pasta in her mouth. “You’ll see.”

Not even a minute later, Jacob comes back with the two small plates. He places them next to Adam on the table. “You need anything else?” Jacob asks, his hand on Adam’s shoulder.

Adam shakes his head and passes one of the plates to Kris. “No thanks.”

Kris is pretty sure he sees Jacob’s lips twitch into a small frown, like he doesn’t get why Adam isn’t flirting back.

“Alright,” he says, to the table this time and not just Adam. “Enjoy your food, guys.”

Kris cuts his chicken in half and puts it on the plate with a little bit of his pasta. Adam does the same, filling the plate up with some of his fettuccini and a few pieces of his chicken, and hands it to Kris.

They all eat and talk for a while. Jacob has come over more times than necessary to see if they want anything. Each time, Kris wants to tell him to go away and do his job instead of trying to flirt with his friend.

Kris looks over at Katy, who has barely touched her food. “Why aren’t you eating?”

“I’m just not that hungry,” she looks up at Kris and gives him a weak smile before going back to her food, playing with it but not eating it.

“So, Katy,” Adam says, leaning closer so he doesn’t have to talk that loud. Kris takes a deep breath, inhaling the scent of Adam’s cologne. “How’s college in Arkansas?”

She puts down her fork and folds her hands in her lap, looking over at Adam with a kind smile. “It’s pretty good. A little lonely without Kris there.”

“You can take him,” Adam grins, bumping shoulders with Kris. “We don’t want him here, anyway.”

Kris shoves Adam to the side, making him almost fall out of his chair. “Shut up,” Kris smiles up at him. “You know you couldn’t live without me.”

“Yeah,” Adam says, and the way he is looking down at Kris is so soft and honest, like he’s never meant anything more in his life. “I don’t think I could.”

He grins up at Adam, focusing on his eyes and the dark makeup outlining them. Kris remembers the first time meeting Adam, thinking he was so different. He wore makeup and dyed his hair and his eyebrows. Adam wasn’t like anyone he’s ever met before, but now he’s just… Adam. Kris isn’t sure how he went his whole life without meeting anyone like him. If Kris decided to go somewhere else for college, or to stay in Arkansas, he never would’ve.

Kris hears a gagging sound from across the table, pulling him from his thoughts. Matt is staring at the two of them with his hand over his mouth, acting like he’s about to vomit. “God, you two,” he rolls his eyes. “Can you stop fawning over each other in public? I’m trying to eat.”

They glance at each other real quick, a similar blush painted on their cheeks.

Just then, Jacob comes back up to the table, and Kris mentally yells at him to go away. “So,” Jacob says cheerfully, “you guys want some dessert or are you ready for your checks?”

Most of them groan and clutch their bellies, letting him know that they’re too full for dessert. Kris could go for some cheesecake right now, but he’s barely even going to be able to afford his and Katy’s dinner.

Jacob laughs. “Okay, so no dessert. Are the checks going to be together or separate?”

“Separate, except for those two,” Cale answers, pointing at Kris and Katy.

“Alright, I’ll be right back.”

Allison gets up from her chair and pulls one from another table up next to Adam. “Are you going to ask him for his number?”

“No,” Adam says, like that’s the most ridiculous thing he’s ever heard. “I’m not a creep like Brad.”

“Excuse you,” Brad snaps back. “At least this creep gets laid.”

Kris sees a pained look in Adam’s eyes for a brief moment. He has a random urge to throw his drink in Brad’s face.

“Don’t listen to him,” Allison says to Adam, shooting Brad a glare. “That guy is into you.”

Adam doesn’t have time to respond because Jacob is back with their checks. He hands them out to everyone, saving Adam for last. His eyes narrow on Adam as he walks away.

“No way!” Allison squeals.

Kris looks at them; Adam is holding his check in one hand and another piece of paper in the other. He sees Jacob’s name and his number scribbled underneath.

“I told you he was hitting on you,” she says, snatching the piece of paper from Adam. “He gave Adam his number!”

Everyone gets excited like it’s a huge deal. Kris thinks it’s stupid and tacky to give your number to someone you don’t even know.

“Are you going to call him?” Kris asks.

Adam looks down at Kris, uncertainty in his eyes. “I dunno,” he shrugs. “Maybe?”

Kris forces a smile and reaches in his pocket for his wallet. He pulls out enough money to cover the bill and the tip – a very small tip because the service was _not_ that good – and turns to Katy. “You wanna go wait outside?”

She looks at him for a moment before nodding. “Yeah, sure.”

They get up and head to for the door. Jacob passes them on their way out, a bright smile on his face. “Have a good night.”

Kris just nods his head in acknowledgement while Katy says a polite “you too” and follows Kris out the door.

They sit down on an empty bench, at least a foot of space between the two of them. It’s quiet, neither of them speaking. Kris can’t figure out if it’s a comfortable silence or not.

“Is something wrong?” Kris asks after a while.

She looks up at him; her eyes are focused, like she’s trying to figure something out. “I’m fine,” she says quietly, although Kris can tell she isn’t. “Just… sad to be leaving tomorrow.”

“Yeah,” Kris says, scuffing his feet on the pavement. “Me too.”

They sit there, in the painfully loud silence, until the others come out a few minutes later and they go home.

* * *

Adam pulls up to the airport and turns around to face Kris and Katy in the back seat. “I’ll wait for you out here,” he says to Kris, and then looks at Katy. “It was so nice to meet you. Hopefully next time you can stay longer and actually get to see LA.”

“Yeah, hopefully,” Katy replies, a small smile on her face. “It was nice meeting you too.”

Kris gets out first and gets Katy’s bags from the trunk. “So did you have fun?”

Katy nods. “Everyone is really nice.”

Kris almost feels like he’s talking to a stranger, she’s never this distant. Most of the time, he can never get her to shut up. He tries to remember if he has done anything to piss her off since she got here, but he can’t think of anything.

When they go in, they check her bag and walk together until Kris isn’t allowed to go any further. This is the part he was dreading. He hates goodbyes. Thankfully, this one is only for a couple of weeks until Thanksgiving break.

“You’ll call me when your plane lands, right?” Kris asks, reaching out to gently curl his fingers around her wrists.

Her eyes flicker upwards to look at him, a little pink and glassy. She has her bottom lip caught between her teeth, like she’s about to cry.

“Aw, baby,” he says, letting go of her wrists to cup her face in his hands. “Don’t cry.”

Kris leans forward and presses his lips to her forehead. “I hate it when you cry.”

Katy melts into the touch, circling her arms around his waist and burying her face in his neck. Kris was expecting her to get a little teary eyed, but nothing like this. He doesn’t think she was this bad when he left her in Arkansas.

“Are you okay?” Kris finally asks, rubbing circles on her back to soothe her. Whatever it is, he wants to make it go away.

She pulls from his embrace and wipes the tears from her rosy cheeks. “I’m fine,” she tells him, looking up to meet his gaze. “I’m just – I gotta go.”

Kris frowns. “Um… okay,” he’s not really quite sure what to say. “I guess I’ll see you on Thanksgiving, then.”

“Yeah,” she says. “I’ll see you on Thanksgiving.”

When he begins to lean down to kiss her goodbye, she tilts her head to the side a little, and kisses his cheek instead. “Bye, Kris,” she says, and turns to walk away.

Kris watches her make her way through security with an ache in his chest. He’s confused and feels rejected, like his own girlfriend doesn’t even want him.

When she gets on the escalator, she finally looks at him. He can tell her eyes are welled up with tears from all the way where he’s standing. The last thing he sees before she disappears at the top is the pained look in her eyes.

He stands there for a while, wondering what just happened, before heading back out to Adam’s car. They have known each other for years and he has never seen her like this. She’s usually so warm and loving, always wanting kisses and to be held. It almost makes him want to cry, too.

A few minutes later he climbs into the passenger seat of Adam’s car.

“Everything go okay?” Adam asks as he starts the car.

Kris looks over at him, studying Adam’s profile as he keeps his eye on the road. “Did I do something wrong while Katy was here?”

Adam shrugs, glancing over at Kris really quick. “Not that I know of. Why?”

“She was acting really strange since last night,” Kris tells him. “She didn’t even kiss me goodbye.”

Adam’s eyes get wide, and he fully turns to Kris once they stop at the red light. “That’s weird,” Adam says. “And you have no idea what was wrong?”

Kris shakes his head. “Maybe she’s just mad that it wasn’t just me and her last night for dinner.”

“Maybe,” Adam says, reaching over to squeeze Kris’s knee. “Don’t worry about it. I’m sure whatever it is, she’ll get over it soon.”

Kris sinks down in the seat and rests his head against the window. “I hope so.”

They drive in silence for a few minutes. The radio is playing quietly in the background and Kris has his eyes closed, his mind jumbled with thoughts.

“So, I texted Jacob.”

Kris’s eyes snap open and he turns his head towards Adam. “Oh,” Kris replies. “What did he say?”

Adam stays focused on the road, avoiding Kris’s eyes. “He asked me out on a date.”

“Did you say yes?”

Adam glances over at him. “Yeah,” he says. “Do you think I should’ve said no?”

“No, it’s just that you don’t really know him that well. You just met him last night.”

Adam raises an eyebrow. “Isn’t that the point of dating?” He asks. “To get to know the other person?”

Kris shrugs, his finger playing with a little hole in the seat to avoid making eye contact with Adam. “I guess,” Kris says. “But aren’t you too sick to go on a date?”

“I’m fine,” Adam reassures him. “I barely even have a sniffle.”

“Oh…”

“If you don’t want me to go-”

“No,” Kris cuts him off. “You should go. My opinion shouldn’t matter.”

“That’s bullshit,” Adam tells him. “You know your opinion is important to me.”

Kris can’t help but smile. “Well, then, you should go.”

Adam’s eyes flicker over to him. “Really?”

Kris hesitates before answering. “Yeah.”

“Okay.”

-

“I can’t do this,” Adam says, his voice laced with panic.

Kris looks up at Adam over his book. “Do what?”

“Go on this date,” Adam replies, almost tripping over his pants in a rush to get them off. He picks up another pair to try on. “I’ve never even really been on a date before. I don’t know what to do.”

Kris closes his book and sits up in Adam’s bed. “Dude, you’ll be fine.”

“That guy is really attractive and I’m… not,” Adam says, looking at himself in the mirror with a pout.

Kris rolls his eyes. “Are you kidding me? You’re gorgeous.” It slips out before he even realizes what he’s saying.

A smile slowly creeps onto Adam’s face. “You think I’m gorgeous?”

Kris feels his stomach turn. “Yeah, I…” he trails off when he notices the smug grin on Adam’s face. He plops back down on the bed, burying his face in Adam’s pillow. “Stop gloating.”

Adam’s laughter fills the room. “Well, if it makes you feel any better, I think you’re gorgeous too.”

Kris hides his grin in the pillow.

-

It’s really lonely without Adam around. It hasn’t even been an hour since he left and Kris doesn’t know what to do with himself. He finished his homework, tried calling Katy – she didn’t answer – and now Kris is lounging in his bed, staring up at the ceiling.

He wonders what Adam is doing right now. They are probably at dinner somewhere that Kris could never afford, or maybe at a movie. He doesn’t really know what guys do when they go on dates, but he figures it can’t be that much different than when he and Katy go on dates. Kris knows that dates involve kissing and holding hands, although Kris doesn’t think Adam would kiss a guy he just met.

Kris shouldn’t feel worried, Adam can take care of himself. He just can’t get rid of the small ache in his chest and it’s driving him insane.

The door swings open and Tommy emerges, stumbling into the room with his eyes glazed over. He’s definitely drunk, or high, or both.

“Where is Adam?” Tommy asks as he falls face first on his bed.

“On a date with that waiter guy from the restaurant.”

“Oh,” Tommy says, staring up blankly at the ceiling. “Then why are you in here?”

Kris shrugs. He actually has no idea why he has stayed in Adam’s bed instead of his own.

“Well,” Tommy sits up and crawls over to the foot of the bed to reach for something on the floor. He picks up a nearly full bottle of cherry vodka. “Since you’re here, you wanna get drunk?”

Kris chuckles. “Dude, you already are.”

“But you’re not.”

Kris debates on it for a moment. He has class in the morning, but not until 10 so he can sleep in a little. Also, he’s bored as hell and he doesn’t want to sit all by himself until Adam gets back from his date.

“Sure,” Kris says as he gets out of Adam’s bed and into Tommy’s.

He grabs the bottle from Tommy and takes a swig, wincing as the alcohol burns his throat. After taking one more sip, he passes it back to Tommy.

A half hour later, Kris feels a little lightheaded and relaxed, warmth spread throughout his whole body. The alcohol did help clear his mind, and now he just wants to fall asleep.

“Would it be too gay…” Tommy starts, leaning in closer to Kris so he can whisper, as if they weren’t the only two in the room, “would it be too gay if I said I wanted to cuddle?”

Kris contemplates it, swallowing another mouthful of vodka before making up his mind. “Probably,” he says. “But I think I’m too drunk to care.”

Tommy smiles at him, sleepy and drunk, his eyeliner smudged all around his eyes. He takes the bottle from Kris and puts it back on the floor before he pulls Kris down so he’s lying on his side, and Tommy curls up behind him, wrapping an arm around his waist.

“Wait,” Kris says, glancing at Tommy over his shoulder. “Why am I the little spoon?”

Tommy shrugs, nuzzling the back of Kris’s neck with his nose. “Because you’re smaller than me.”

Kris opens his mouth to protest, but he figures that there is no point. Tommy is already breathing steadily behind him, asleep. It’s actually not that bad being the little spoon, to have a warm body curled around his. It’s different than cuddling with Adam, though. Tommy isn’t as big and as warm as Adam, and he doesn’t smell as good.

He is about to doze off to sleep when he hears the click of the door closing. When he opens his eyes, Adam is looming over him, smiling down with amusement.

“Why are you cuddling with Tommy?”

Kris tries to think of a logical excuse, but he can only come up with one. “I’m drunk.”

“Ah,” Adam says, noticing the nearly empty bottle of vodka on the floor. He bends down to pick it up, and then pulls Tommy’s arm away from Kris’s waist. “Well, now it’s time for me to finish this bottle,” Adam tells him, grabbing Kris’s hand and yanks him off Tommy’s bed, “and for you to cuddle with me.”

Kris _loves_ that idea.

They get in Adam’s bed and under the covers. Kris watches as Adam chugs the rest of the vodka down in one go, slamming the empty bottle on his night stand. Adam pulls Kris closer and tucks him under his arm, resting his head on top of Kris’s.

“How was the date?”

Adam cards his fingers through the hair on the back of Kris’s neck. “Stupid.”

Kris laughs. “Why was it stupid?”

“He was stupid,” Adam says. “He made me pay for my own dinner, which, you know, I can’t afford. I live off of my financial aid money and what my parents send me. I thought when people ask you out on a date, they pay. I guess not.”

“I would’ve paid for you,” Kris tells him.

He feels Adam press a small kiss into his hair. “I know you would’ve,” Adam says softly. “There needs to be more guys like you out there. He was a jackass. The entire time he was texting someone else. If we were just friends, I wouldn’t care. But, we were on a date. He was supposed to be talking to me.”

Kris tilts his head up, pressing his forehead against Adam’s. “I’m sorry.”

“Not your fault,” Adam says, leaning forward just a bit more so their noses are touching as well. “I’m just destined to be alone, I guess.”

“No you’re not,” Kris says with confidence, like he just _knows_ Adam is going to end up with someone great. “You’ll find someone awesome, and fall stupid in love, and they’ll pay for you when you go on dates.”

Adam closes his eyes and he tightens his arm around Kris. “I hope so.”

They stay like they for a while, their foreheads and noses pressed together, inhaling when the other exhales. It makes Kris feel even more dizzy and intoxicated than the alcohol did. He’s pretty sure he could stay like this forever.

Eventually Adam pulls away, laughing when Kris lets out an involuntary whine and tries to bring him back. “I’m just going to change,” Adam tells him as he rolls out of bed.

Kris lies down, pulling the covers up to his chin and buries his face in Adam’s pillows. He watches Adam wash most of the makeup off of his face and brush his teeth.

“Where are you sleeping tonight?” Adam asks as he throws the shirt he was just wearing on the floor and pulls on an oversized Queen t-shirt.

Kris snuggles even deeper into the covers. If Adam thinks Kris is moving from this spot, he’s nuts.

“With you.”

That makes Adam turn to Kris; his eyes soften in a way that Kris rarely ever sees.

Once Adam pulls on a pair of sweatpants, he climbs over Kris and slips into the space between Kris and the wall. He scoots forward so their bodies are aligned, and wraps his arm around Kris’s waist like Tommy had done earlier.

This feels so much better than when he was cuddling with Tommy. Adam is larger and warmer; it makes Kris feel protected, not that there is anything he really needs protection from. He feels Adam’s hot breath on the back of his neck and his fingers tracing small circles on Kris’s stomach.

Kris is almost asleep when he hears “goodnight, Kris,” whispered in his ear.

* * *

The rest of the month goes by quickly. Every day getting closer and closer to when Kris finally gets to go home for Thanksgiving break. He finds himself not looking forward to it as much as he used to be. It’s going to be a week full of his mama’s home cooked meals, family, and Katy. But, it’s also going to be a week not in California, not with his friends, and not with Adam.

Since he got to Los Angeles back in August, he hasn’t gone more than just a few hours without seeing Adam, Brad, or Tommy. He has kind of grown dependent on them. They’re like his new little family.

“I hate Thanksgiving,” Adam says as they pass the row of frozen turkeys at the grocery store. “I eat way too much and then I feel shitty about myself so I eat more to make myself feel better.”

Kris chuckles and shakes his head. “You’re so ridiculous. I don’t get why you are always complaining about your weight. You aren’t fat at all.”

Adam rolls his eyes. “You’re my best friend. That’s what you’re supposed to say.”

“No,” Kris says as he reaches over for a bag of skittles and drops them in the cart. “I call my friend Charles a fat ass all the time. I wouldn’t lie to you, dude.”

“Whatever,” Adam says in a tone that means ‘this is the end of this conversation’ so Kris drops the subject. “What else do we need?”

Kris takes the shopping list out of his pocket. They are all going karaoking tonight and then going back to the dorm for movies and junk food, so there isn’t a single healthy thing on the list.

“Doughnuts,” he reads from the list.

Adam groans. “Great. More carbs.”

“Well then don’t eat them,” Kris says, annoyed.

“I’m not going to,” Adam snaps back.

Kris shoots Adam a glare. Adam’s has a rigid look on his face, and his grip on the shopping cart is so tight that his knuckles are white. He’s in one of his moods. Kris absolutely hates Adam’s moods.

“What the heck crawled up your ass?” Kris asks.

Adam shakes his head, but keeps his eyes set forward, not looking at Kris. “Nothing. You’re just getting on my nerves.”

“I’m getting on your nerves? You’re the one complaining about your weight all day.”

Adam stops in the middle of the aisle, finally turning to look at Kris. “Well sorry we’re not all perfect like you.”

He doesn’t look angry anymore, just… sad. It makes Kris feel bad for arguing with him. Usually Kris is good at making Adam feel better about himself, but today he just feels annoyed with it. He doesn’t understand why Adam is always putting himself down. Kris wishes that Adam would listen when Kris tells him that he’s not fat and he’s not ugly.

“I’m going to go find Brad,” Adam says and walks away, leaving the cart with Kris.

Kris can count on one hand the number of times he and Adam have gotten mad at each other. Adam always walks off all pissed off at Kris and refuses to talk to him for a couple of hours until Kris apologizes – even though he is never the one who does anything wrong – and Adam is happy again. He knows they’ll be okay by the end of the night; he just hates the waiting part. Adam is a pro at giving people the cold shoulder. Kris is pretty sure he invented the term.

“What did you do now?” Tommy comes up behind Kris, dropping an armful of junk into the cart.

“How do you know I did anything?” Kris asks, slightly offended that the blame is automatically on him.

Tommy shrugs, taking the cart and pushing it down the aisle as Kris follows. “I saw Adam walking around with that stupid look on his face. That one that looks kind of like an angry bull about to attack the dude with the red sheets or whatever.”

Kris smiles, knowing exactly what face Tommy is talking about. When Adam is mad, he purses his lips together in a thin line and his nostrils flare a little bit. It actually does make him look a kind of like an angry bull.

“Well, it’s not my fault. He was going on and on about his weight like always and I got annoyed with it and he snapped at me.”

Tommy stops in front of the Doritos and grabs two bags before he continues. “You should know by now that you need to just humor him when he gets like that. Tell him he’s not fat and that he’s pretty. It makes him feel better.”

“Yeah, I know, but…”

Tommy turns to Kris. “Look… you didn’t know Adam last year. He hated himself. You think he’s bad now? You should’ve heard him then.”

“But why?” Kris asks. He has honestly never met anyone with such low self esteem. “He’s,” _beautiful_ , Kris almost says, but he stops himself, “not ugly at all.”

“He doesn’t see what you see when you look at him. Adam still sees himself as a fat, red haired kid with acne,” Tommy tells him. “Seriously, dude. You need to read the Adam Lambert Instruction Manual.”

“I wish that actually existed,” Kris sighs. “My life would be so much easier.”

-

The second they get back from the store, Adam locks himself in his room. He and Adam had planned on taking a nap before they all went out tonight, but Kris assumes that isn’t happening anymore. Kris doesn’t like taking naps alone, he gets cold.

“Whatever,” Kris says to himself as he sits himself in front of his empty suitcase on the floor. Adam was also supposed to help him pack, but Kris is going to have to do that alone, too. He realizes that he’s probably a bit too dependent on Adam. Maybe a week apart will do them good.

Kris pulls out his phone and calls Katy. He hopes she actually answers this time. Lately she’s been too busy with school and friends, so they haven’t really been talking much. He’s starting to miss her.

“Hey,” she answers, sounding distracted.

Kris takes a handful of shirts and stuffs them in his suitcase. “What’re you doing?”

“Getting ready to go out,” Katy says. Kris can hear things clinking around in the background and he assumes she’s doing her makeup.

“Oh,” he says as he sniffs a pair of jeans to see if they are clean before throwing them in too. “Who are you going with?”

“Just some friends from school.”

Kris didn’t even know she made friends at school.

“That’s cool.”

“Yup.”

Kris feels defeated. Trying to have a conversation with her lately is like pulling teeth. It sucks. He doesn’t know what happened to the girl who would talk his ear off for hours.

“So…” he tries to think of something that will force her to talk. “I can’t wait to see you.”

“Me too,” she says, but it sounds more like she’s just humoring him than actually meaning it. “Oh crap, I forgot to tell you. My family and I are going to my grandma’s house until Thursday for an early Thanksgiving thing.”

Kris feels his stomach drop. “…are you serious?”

“Yeah, I’m sorry. My parents just told me yesterday.”

Kris roughly runs his fingers through his hair, frustrated. “I just thought we were supposed to hang out all week.”

His plans were Katy, food, Katy, Katy, food, Katy. And now his plans are just… food, and maybe some Charles.

“We can hang out when I get back.”

Kris rolls his eyes. “For what, two days?”

She lets out an aggravated sigh. “Well, Kris, I’m sorry not everything can be the way you want it to be. I can’t not go, it’s my family.”

“Okay, jeez. What’s everyone’s problem today? First Adam gets mad at me and now you.”

He hears her huff through the phone. “God forbid Adam gets mad at you.”

Kris raises an eyebrow. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing,” Katy tells him. “Look, I’ve got to go. My friends are here.”

“Alright,” he says, his voice much softer than it was a second ago. “I love you.”

All he gets in response is the dial tone.

 

-

Kris watches Adam on stage with Allison, singing and having fun. He trying really hard to not be annoyed, but he’s failing miserably. It’s just that he’s usually Adam’s karaoke partner whenever they go. He’s supposed to be on stage with Adam, singing and having fun. Not Alli.

Adam is still giving him the cold shoulder. Usually after an hour or two, one of them caves and they wind up cuddled in bed watching a movie or going out to get something to eat. It’s been six hours since their fight in the grocery store and Adam still won’t even look in his direction. He can’t even remember the last time he has gone this long without talking to or touching Adam.

When the song ends, Adam and Allison stumble off stage and go back to their seats, both red in the face from laughter. Kris pouts. Adam is three seats away with a plate of mozzarella sticks in front of him that Kris really wants. Not talking to each other means not sharing food, and that just sucks.

“So your boyfriend tells me that there’s trouble in paradise,” Brad says as he takes the seat next to Kris, stealing one of his fries.

Kris ignores the boyfriend remark. “He’s mad at me.”

“Oh please,” Brad rolls his eyes. “The second you give him those puppy eyes, he will forgive you and the two of you can go back to swooning over each other.”

“We don’t swoon.”

Brad snorts. “Whatever.”

This time when Kris turns to look at him, Adam is staring back. After a moment, Adam gives him a small smile and then looks down at his plate, poking at his food. Kris takes that as an invitation to go over and sit by him.

He takes his plate of fries and chicken fingers and slides down three seats so he’s at Adam’s side. They don’t talk at first, just sitting there quietly watching Cale and Matt fail miserably at singing some song Kris has never even heard of.

“Want some chicken?” Kris eventually asks, holding up a chicken finger. He immediately feels lame for letting that be the first thing he says, but he just needed to say _something_.

Adam glances at him through the corner of his eye. Kris can tell he’s trying not to smile. “Yes,” he says, taking the chicken. “You want a mozzarella stick?”

Kris takes one from his plate and bites into it. “Dude,” he says with his mouth full. “I’ve wanted one since you ordered them.”

Adam finally turns to him, a smile on his face and his eyes blue and shining. “I’m sorry I got mad at you earlier.”

“Me too,” Kris says as he swallows the rest of his food. “I need to be more understanding of your… mood swings.”

Adam kicks Kris’s foot, still grinning. “Shut up. You make me sound like a girl.”

“Well, you do act like a girl most of the time,” Kris says, his voice light and playful, just to make sure Adam knows he’s kidding.

Adam scrunches his nose and sticks out his tongue. “Jerk.”

Kris probably should feel stupid for just sitting there, beaming at Adam like an idiot, but he can’t help it. He got his best friend back. Not that he ever lost him, but it was a long six hours.

“Let’s not fight anymore,” Adam suggests. “It’s not fun.”

“I agree,” Kris says, reaching over to take more food from Adam’s plate. “And it cuts my food portions in half.”

Adam pinches Kris’s stomach. “Fatty.”

They sit back and watch people make a fool of themselves on stage for a while. They laugh, and talk, and eat. Adam is slouched down in his chair, his head resting on Kris’s shoulder.

“My nap sucked earlier, by the way,” Adam says with a small pout.

Kris chuckles and rests his cheek on the top of Adam’s head. “Why?”

“I had nobody to cuddle.”

He buries a smile into Adam’s soft hair. “Well you’re going to have to nap without me for an entire week.”

Adam tilts his head up, looking at him with worry in his eyes, like it just now dawned on him. “That’s like… a long time, though.”

Kris smiles down at him. “I’m sure you’ll survive without me.”

Adam sighs, “I guess.”

They stay like that for a while, Adam’s hair tickling Kris’s neck as he nods his head along with the music. Brad walks by them, an eyebrow raised and a smirk on his lips. Kris flips him off.

A couple gets off stage after their song and Adam sits up quickly, startling Kris. “Come on,” he says, holding his hand out for Kris to take.

Adam drags Kris to the stage and he waits for Adam to pick the song. A smile breaks out on his face when he hears what it is. “ _Love Shack_?” Kris laughs. “Really, Adam?”

Adam snakes his arm around Kris’s neck, pulling him closer, and starts singing.

 _If you see a faded sign by the side of the road that says  
15 miles to the... Love Shack!_

Kris is smiling too much to even sing.

* * *

Kris can’t sleep. The alarm is about to go off and he has only slept for about an hour throughout the night. He’s too distracted thinking about his fight with Katy, trying to remember if he has everything packed, and the weight of Adam’s arm draped over his stomach.

The sun begins to rise, streaming through the blinds and giving him just enough light to make out the freckles on Adam’s arm. He counts them until his vision gets blurry, giving up at 137. Instead, he looks up at Adam’s face, just inches from his own. Adam’s bottom lip is poking out a bit in a small pout and Kris wonders what he’s dreaming about. He reaches up and gently brushes the back of his fingers against Adam’s cheek, causing his eyes to flutter open.

“Hey,” Adam gives him a warm, sleepy smile before closing his eyes again. Kris shivers when Adam starts drawing random shapes on his stomach with his fingertips.

“I don’t want to go home today,” Kris whispers, combing Adam’s hair back from his forehead.

Adam’s eyes open again, looking at Kris in a way that makes him feel an ache in his chest. “I don’t want to either.”

Kris just stares into Adam’s eyes for a while, burning them into his memory for the week they’ll be spending apart. He leans forward a bit so their foreheads are touching and closes his eyes until the alarm goes off.

-

Kris sits on the floor with his guitar in his lap as he watches Adam finish packing. He mindlessly strums his guitar as quiet background music to their conversation. Adam is just now getting the last of his stuff together and Kris needs to leave for the airport soon.

“Do you really need to bring that much makeup home?” Kris asks, his eyes roaming the display of eyeliner, eye shadow, and whatever other stuff Adam puts on his face. “You’re only seeing your family.”

Adam zips up his makeup bag and throws it in his suitcase. “Yeah, and my friends who I haven’t seen in months. They’re all so cute. I have to keep up.”

“Well, I think you’re cute,” Kris says with a smirk, just to make Adam blush.

Adam glances up at him with a shy smile and his cheeks painted a pretty shade of pink, his fingers fumbling to close his suitcase. Kris has a smug smile on his face, relishing in his ability to always get Adam a little bit flustered.

They stay silent for a while, Kris playing a song on his guitar that he still needs to write the lyrics for. It’s so weird not having Tommy and Brad around. Tommy went home early this morning, and Brad took a cab to the airport about an hour ago. Both of their rooms are completely spotless. Kris almost misses having Brad’s clothes scattered everywhere.

“You ready?” Adam asks, pulling Kris from his thoughts. “We probably should’ve left like ten minutes ago.”

Kris nods and puts his guitar in the case. He contemplated not bringing it, but his fingers itched at the thought of not playing for a whole week. It would’ve driven him insane.

“I can’t wait to have my own bathroom again,” Kris says after they lock the door behind them and head down the hallway. He playfully bumps Adam’s shoulder with his own, “and there won’t be any fruity smelling shampoos all over.”

Adam clicks his tongue. “Yeah, right! I’ve caught you smelling my hair more than once. Don’t even pretend like I don’t smell amazing.”

He’s right, Adam does kind of smell amazing, but Kris refuses to admit it.

“And you’re so lucky. I have to share my bathroom with Neil,” Adam shudders dramatically. “He somehow manages to make it more disgusting than you, Tommy, and Brad combined.”

Kris scrunches his nose and makes a face. Daniel is the same way, but, thankfully, they each have their own bathroom.

They both continue talking about their families on their way to the car. Stories of family get-togethers and other things that they’ve never really taken the time to talk about before. Kris tells Adam about the time that Daniel ate a majority of the turkey before his mom even brought it to the table, and then tried to cover up the missing spots with stuffing. Adam tells Kris about the political arguments Neil and his drunk uncle always have, and how one year his uncle got so mad at Neil that he threw a drink in his face.

“Dude, you need to try my mom’s cooking someday,” Kris tells Adam when they both get in the car. “It’s like the best thing ever.”

“You’ve told me this numerous amounts of times, and unless she’s planning on air mailing me some of it, you better shut up because it’s making me hungry.”

“My mom offered for you to come home with me for Thanksgiving,” Kris points out, “but you refused.”

“That’s because my mom would kill me.”

Kris doesn’t doubt that. He’s talked to Adam’s mom several times and she’s a fierce lady. She also loves Kris, just like his mom loves Adam. Somehow within the past few months, their moms have become phone buddies and talk to each other all the time. It’s kind of weird, but it makes Kris happy to know they’re friends.

Once the conversation dies down, Kris turns on the radio and tries to find something not completely dreadful to listen to. When he looks down, he finds a small bottle of blue nail polish in the cup holder.

“Why do you have nail polish in the car?” He asks and picks it up, noticing the way it sparkles when the sun shines on it. “I’m pretty sure it’s not safe to paint your nails while driving.”

“Brad was painting his nails the other day when we went to McDonalds.”

Kris unscrews the cap and brings it up to his nose to sniff. He likes the smell of nail polish. It will probably always remind him of Adam.

He carefully paints a stripe on his thumbnail to see how it looks. It’s a pretty color, so Kris decides to paint the rest of the nail. Some of it gets on the skin around his thumb because the road is a little bumpy.

Adam peers over at him, chuckling when he sees what Kris is doing. “Did you seriously just paint your nail?”

“Yes,” Kris says simply, holding his hand out in front of him to admire his handiwork. “It’s like bringing a piece of you with me to Arkansas.” He realizes how cheesy that is, but he doesn’t care.

Adam grins and playfully swats Kris’s knee, keeping his hand there instead of pulling it away. “You’re such a dork.”

Kris relaxes in his seat, enjoying the warmth of Adam’s hand on his knee until they get to the airport.

-

Adam pulls into short term parking and it finally starts to sink in that he’s leaving. Adam grabs one of Kris’s bags, Kris carries his guitar, and Adam loops his arm around Kris’s shoulders as they walk in.

They check Kris’s bag and guitar and walk together until the point where Adam isn’t allowed to go past.

“So…” Kris says, rocking back and forth awkwardly on his feet – he doesn’t like saying goodbye at all. “I guess I’ll see you in a week.”

Adam gives him a sad smile, tugging on Kris’s shirt to pull him closer and then enveloping Kris in his arms. Adam is squeezing him so hard they sway a little bit, and then Kris squeezes him back just the same.

“Text me when you get to San Diego so I know that you got home safe,” Kris mumbles into the crook of Adam’s neck. “I’ll probably still be on the plane, though.”

One of Adam’s arms is solid around Kris’s waist while his other hand comes up to bury itself in Kris’s hair. “Okay,” Adam whispers. “Call me when you land.”

Kris inhales deeply, loving the way Adam smells. “You were right,” Kris says as they pull away, a teasing smile on his lips. “You do smell amazing.”

Adam throws his head back and laughs, lighthearted and carefree. “I told you.”

He pulls Kris back in for one last hug, still shaking with laughter. Kris sighs, “I’ll miss you.”

Kris feels Adam’s fingers dig in his back to hold him tighter. “Miss you, too.”

When Adam steps back, he keeps his arms hang loosely around Kris’s neck and Kris places his hands on Adam’s hips. Kris probably should feel embarrassed or self conscious at the way Adam is looking at him, but he doesn’t. He’s pretty sure that he’s looking at Adam the same way.

Adam leans forward a little bit and Kris’s heart stammers in his chest. He closes his eyes, anticipating the feel Adam’s lips press against his. He’s not quite sure why he’s waiting for it, _wanting_ it, but it just feels like that’s what is supposed to happen. When it doesn’t, Kris almost feels disappointed. Instead, Adam places a soft, lingering kiss on Kris’s cheek.

“Goodbye, Kris,” Adam whispers as Kris’s eyes flutter open, taken aback a little by the intensity of Adam’s eyes. “See you next Sunday.”

“Yeah,” Kris says, his mouth suddenly feeling dry. “See you.”

They separate and Kris walks away, glancing over his shoulder several times and Adam is always still right there, staring back.

-

By the time the plane is about to land in Arkansas, Kris wants nothing more than to go home and crawl under his ninja turtle sheets and sleep for about 12 hours. His ass is sore from sitting all day, and the man next to him on the plane is snoring so loud that Kris can hear it over his iPod.

He’s spent a lot of time on the plane staring down at his painted thumbnail. The blue polish is such a contrast compared to his pale skin. Each time it makes him think of Adam and he wonders what he’s doing right now. He’s probably chatting with his mom and drinking tea, or hanging out with his best friends Alisan and Danielle. It’s weird to think that they are thousands of miles away from each other.

When the pilot announces that they are landing soon, Kris looks out the window. Instead of seeing the blanket of clouds that was just there moments ago, Kris sees miles of land stretched out beneath them. There is so much emptiness and trees with random clusters of neighborhoods and buildings. It’s so different than LA. There are no lights and glitter, not that feeling that you just know something amazing is happening at this very moment.

Kris misses it already.

Everything keeps getting closer and closer, until he eventually feels the tires hitting the pavement. This has always been Kris’s least favorite part. It takes the breath right out of his lungs. The moment they announce that they can take out their electronics, Kris turns his phone on and feels it vibrate four times in his hand.

Two messages from Adam, one from his parents, one from Brad, and none from Katy. He opens Brad’s first.

 _Everything’s bigger in Texas!_

He texts Brad back, letting him know that he landed like he promised that he would, and then he opens Adam’s.

 _Im finally home!!!! Call me when you land!_

 _My brother is pissing me off already. He won’t leave me alone! >:[_

After reading the message from his parents, telling him they just got to the airport, he calls Adam.

“Kris!”

Kris’s face splits into a stupid grin. “Hey.”

“Did you just land?”

Kris sits back down in his seat. “Yeah, I’m still on the plane.”

Adam laughs. “When I said call me when you land, I didn’t mean the second the plane touches the ground.”

Kris runs his finger over the smooth glossy polish on his nail. “Well, that’s too bad because I want to talk to you.”

“Bossy,” Adam teases. “I like it.”

Kris notices the line of people in the aisle start to move, so he stands up again. “So are you happy to be home?”

“I guess. Neil is a jackass and keeps trying to talk to me about shit that I don’t care about,” Adam says, “and you’re not here so I’m bored out of my mind.”

An old man lets Kris out into the aisle in front of him. Kris mouths ‘thank you’ before turning his attention back to Adam. “You miss me.”

“Shut up,” Adam says, and Kris can tell by his voice that he’s a little embarrassed.

“Make me.”

“I hate you.”

“You love me.”

Adam sighs, “Unfortunately.”

“It’s cause I’m awesome,” Kris tells him.

Adam snorts a laugh. “You wish.”

They bicker back and forth until Kris is finally off the plane and walking through the little tunnel that connects that plane to the airport. He can feel the cool night air seeping in and it feels so good after being stuck in that stuffy plane for so long.

“I’m never flying again,” Kris complains.

“Uh, yes you are. Unless you plan on driving back to California and that would probably suck even more.”

“Nah, I’ll just go to school here,” Kris says seriously, even though he would never even consider doing that. He just wants to see what Adam will say.

“You’re joking, right?” His voice is a little hesitant.

“Nope,” Kris says, trying to contain his laughter. “Now that I’m back, it’s making me realize how much I miss it.”

Adam is quiet, like he’s trying to decide if Kris is just fucking with him or not. “Oh… I guess if you-”

Kris starts laughing.

“Fuck you!”

“I’m sorry,” Kris says between giggles.

“Oh my god, you scared the shit out of me. I was seriously considering flying there and kidnapping you.”

Kris’s face hurts from laughing. “You know I’d never do that to you.”

He hears Adam let out a relieved sigh. “You’re such a dick.”

Kris sees his parents through the glass, his mom waving excitedly and gripping his dad’s hand.

“I see my parents,” he tells Adam. “I guess I’ve gotta go.”

“Fine,” Adam pouts. “Call me tonight?”

“Promise.”

They hang up and Kris looks up to see his parents impatiently waiting for him to get where they can suffocate him with hugs and kisses. It makes him realize that he actually does miss it here; his family and his friends, but not enough to ever consider leaving California to come back.

“Kristopher!” she shrieks the second he gets within arm’s length, squeezing the breath from his lungs. “My little boy,” she says as she pulls him away and kisses his forehead, probably leaving an embarrassing lipstick stain. “Oh my gosh, you’re so skinny, sweetie.”

“Hun, he looks fine,” his dad says calmly, prying his mom away and pulling him into his own bone crushing hug. “We missed you, son.”

They eventually let him go, their eyes filled with tears. If Kris was a crier, he’d probably be crying too. He wraps his arm around his mom’s shoulders. “Missed you, mama.”

“Whose idea was it to let you go to college on the other side of the world?” She asks, rocking them back and forth. “I’m not letting you go back.”

Kris lets out a breathy laugh through his nose. “Tell that to Adam.”

His mom steps back from his embrace, carefully wiping the tears from under her eyes. “Oh, I wish he could’ve come with you. I would’ve loved to meet him.”

The three of them head towards luggage pickup. “He wanted to, but his mom wouldn’t let him. Maybe next year.”

“Well, let him know that he’s welcome any time,” she says and links her arm with his as they wait for Kris’s luggage. “Oh, how’s Katy? I haven’t heard from her in a while.”

Kris shrugs. “Good, I guess. She’s been busy lately.”

“Are you guys okay?” his dad asks. “The distance isn’t getting to you, is it?”

“No, we’re fine,” Kris says, even though he isn’t sure he even believes it himself.

“That’s good,” his mom squeezes Kris’s hand. “I’d hate to see the distance break you two up.”

Kris shifts uncomfortably on his feet. He hopes the distance doesn’t break them up either.

-

Everything looks exactly the same as it did when he left. The town, the neighborhood, his house. It almost feels like he went back in time, or his life in California was nothing but a dream. His room still looks the same; the house still smells like freshly baked cookies. It’s all so familiar and comforting, but it makes him miss everything he left in California even more.

His mom makes him spaghetti for dinner, which he eats three helpings of, and his brother asks him a million questions about living in LA, his friends, and college. It’s all so boring. He tries to think of what he’d be doing if he was back at school – probably waiting for Adam and Brad to get ready to go out, or watching a movie with Adam.

It’s not even that late, but Kris is exhausted. When he can’t take anymore of catching up with his parents, he excuses himself and goes to his room. He takes a while to look around. There is a corkboard on the wall with pictures pinned up of him with Katy, or Charles and his other friends. His hair back then makes him cringe. If Brad saw it, he’d never let Kris live it down.

Kris sprawls out on his bed. It’s so much softer and bigger than the bed in his dorm. If he could take one thing back with him, it would be his bed. He and Adam wouldn’t have to squeeze into a twin sized bed anymore.

He rolls over and reaches into his nightstand, pulling out folded up pieces of paper. A grin spreads on his face when he realizes that they are notes from high school that Katy wrote him. She would always used to sneak them in his notebooks or his locker. Kris misses that.

It just dawns on him that he hasn’t called or texted her since he’s been home. He takes his phone from his pocket and dials her number. By the third ring, he knows she’s not going to answer.

“Hey, baby. Um… I just wanted to let you know that I’m home now. I hope you’re having a good time with your family. Call me back. Love you.”

For a moment he considers going to see Charles, but that would require moving and Kris doesn’t want to get up. Instead, he calls the one person he knows will answer.

Adam picks up during the second ring.

“Kristopher! I was just talking about you.”

Kris smiles. “When are you not talking about me?”

Adam ignores him. “Do you like being home?”

Kris buries his face in his pillow. “No, I’m bored.”

He can hear Adam chewing something as he talks. “Already? You’ve been home for like two hours.”

“There’s nothing to do.”

“You should’ve come home with me. Danielle and I just finished a bottle of wine.”

Kris suddenly feels bad for calling. “Oh, you have company?” he asks. “Want me to let you go?”

“No, no, it’s fine. She’s hanging out with my mom in the kitchen now, anyway.”

“Kay,” Kris sighs happily, snuggling even deeper into his pillow. “So what were you guys talking about?”

“Hmm?”

“You said you were just talking about me,” Kris reminds him.

“Oh, um…” Adam hesitates a bit before answering. “She just asked about my friends and I was telling her about you.”

Kris thinks he’s lying, but he’s too tired to pry. He closes his eyes, not really sure for how long.

“Kris?” Adam says after a while.

He snaps his head up, more conscious than he was just seconds ago. “Huh?”

“Are you falling asleep?”

He plops his head back down on the pillow. “No.”

“Yes you are. I know your sleepy voice.”

“’m tired.”

“Want me to let you sleep?”

“No,” Kris yawns. “Stay.”

Adam laughs quietly. “Okay.”

Kris falls asleep listening to Adam hum a random song under his breath.

* * *

“Your pants are tighter than my sister’s.”

That’s the first thing Charles says to Kris. Not ‘hello’ or ‘how are you doing?’ or anything else someone would say after going four months without seeing their best friend. But, it’s Charles, so Kris isn’t really sure what he was expecting.

“And… is that nail polish?”

Kris tucks his thumb in his fist. “Maybe.”

“Well, California has sure got you lookin’ pretty,” Charles shakes with laughter, taking a step closer to Kris. “Give me a hug, you bastard.”

Kris lets Charles nearly crush him to death as he’s lifted two feet from the ground like a rag doll.

Charles puts him back down and Kris almost tumbles over. “I hate it when you do that.”

He slaps Kris on the back. “Don’t lie, you love it.”

A smile spreads on Kris’s face. He did miss Charles a lot. They’ve been best friends since the time in kindergarten when Charles got Kris’s glasses back from the bully third grader and pushed him into the mud. Charles never fails to bring that up whenever he wants something from Kris.

“So, how is everything?” Charles asks as they head up to Kris’s room. “I almost forgot you existed because you never call me anymore.”

Kris feels a little guilty about that, but it’s not like Charles was calling him either. “Okay, I guess. Busy with school and stuff.”

Charles groans and leans over Kris to grab the remote. “I hate college. When in my life am I ever going to need to know probability and statistics?”

“You’re such an idiot,” Kris attempts to shove Charles to the side and fails miserably.

Charles punches Kris hard in the thigh, causing Kris to curl up in the fetal position, clutching it in pain. This is one thing Kris definitely did not miss about Charles. He uses Kris as his human punching bag.

“That’s what you get,” Charles says, leaning back to prop himself on his elbows once he finds something on the TV to watch.

They bum around for a while, going from one television show to the next when they get sick of the one they are watching. Charles finally settles on the Food Network and it’s starting to make Kris hungry. This is what Kris used to do all day on his free time before he moved. It’s comforting and familiar, but Kris doesn’t think he’d ever want to be stuck back in this life again.

“So have you seen Katy around school?” Kris asks eventually, mainly just for something to talk about.

Charles shrugs. “Not really.”

“You don’t talk or anything?”

“Why would I?” Charles asks. “I only tolerated her because she’s your girlfriend. Now that you’re not around, I don’t have to anymore.”

This is news to Kris. He always thought Charles and Katy got along well. “Oh…”

“Did you guys break up or something?”

Kris shakes his head. “No… we’ve just been busy doing our own thing lately. I haven’t been able to talk to her a lot.”

“Well, I haven’t seen her with any other dudes, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Oh, I know she’d never cheat on me or anything. I just…” he trails off when he hears his cell phone vibrate on his nightstand. Kris quickly leaps up and snatches his phone, opening the message.

 _I bought you something!_

Kris chews on his thumbnail in an attempt to hide is smile.

 _what is it?_

“What’s got you smiling?” Charles asks, looking at him curiously. “Is it Katy?”

“Uh, no…” Kris says, tucking his phone under his thigh. Charles has a tendency to steal his phone and read through his text messages, not that he has anything to hide. “It’s just Adam.”

“Adam?” Charles thinks for a moment. “Is that the dude in all of those pictures on your Facebook?”

“Yeah,” Kris smiles. “That’s him.”

It startles him a bit when he feels his phone vibrate under his thigh.

 _it’s a surprise_

Charles focuses back on the TV. “He has cool hair.”

 _you suck. I wanna know :(_

He sends it and clicks out of his messages. The background to his phone is of the two of them sticking their tongues out, blue from just eating ring pops, and their faces bright from the flash.

Kris misses him.

-

Thanksgiving morning Kris is woken up by the smell of something amazing. Whatever it is, it smells like heaven. He’s pretty sure Thanksgiving is his favorite holiday. There is food and football and naps and even more food. It’s glorious.

He sits up in bed and searches for his phone that is buried somewhere in the covers. There’s only one message in his inbox.

 _you fell asleep on me :(_

Kris feels a little bad, but he was exhausted last night. They were talking on the phone until 3am, when Kris finally fell asleep.

 _im sorry. call me when you wake up._

After going pee and brushing his teeth, Kris heads downstairs. Just like every other Thanksgiving morning in his entire life, his dad and brother are sitting on the couch watching the parade, and his mother is in the kitchen already starting on the food. Kris grew out of watching the parade a few years ago, so now he usually just helps his mom if she needs it.

“Morning sweetie,” his smiles at him as he walks into the kitchen. “I made some cinnamon rolls if you want one.”

Kris pulls himself up on the counter, right next to the batch of cinnamon rolls. He plans on eating two or three of them. “Morning mama,” he says, mouth full of food. “Need any help?”

“No thanks,” she tells him. “I’m thinking about taking a quick break and watching some of the parade.”

He grabs another cinnamon roll and hops off the counter, walking to the living room with his mom. She takes a seat on the recliner while Kris curls up on the loveseat. He watches the parade for a while, Snoopy, Hello Kitty, and Mickey Mouse floating down the streets of New York City. They went on a vacation to New York a few years ago for Thanksgiving so they could see the parade. It was freezing and raining and Kris never wants to spend Thanksgiving outside the comfort of his own home again.

After a while he dozes off and is startled when his phone starts ringing right next to his head. He sits up quickly, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. His dad is napping in the recliner now, and Daniel is lying on the floor next to the dog. He must’ve been asleep longer than he realized.

It takes him a moment to realize that his phone is still going off. He looks down to see Adam’s face on the screen.

“Hey,” Kris answers, rolling off of the couch and heads back into the kitchen. “Happy Thanksgiving.”

“Happy Thanksgiving to you, too,” he can tell Adam is smiling. “Are you watching the parade?”

“No, it ended a little while ago,” Kris tells him. “I watched like five minutes of it and then I fell asleep.”

“Lazy.”

“Oh, like you can judge,” Kris says. “If I can remember correctly, you are the one who sleeps until two in the afternoon on days you don’t have classes.”

“Uh, excuse you,” Adam pretends to be offended. “From what I recall, there is usually a little person in my bed with me when I wake up at two. I’m pretty sure it’s you.”

Kris would argue, but it’s true.

“Is that Adam?” His mom cuts into the conversation. “Let me talk to him.”

Kris rolls his eyes. “My mother wants to talk to you.”

Kris hands the phone over to his mom and takes a seat on the counter, stuffing his face with a cracker and cheese that his mom has set out for when everyone comes over.

“Adam,” his mom coos. “How are you sweetie?”

He watches his mom talk to Adam on the phone, wishing he was able to hear the other end of the conversation.

“Aw, thank you. Happy Thanksgiving to you too,” she says, turning around to give Kris a ‘isn’t he the sweetest?’ look. “Tell Leila to call me later. I haven’t talked to her in a few weeks.”

There are a few ‘mhmms’ and giggles. “I wish you would’ve come home with Kristopher. We would love to meet you.” She listens as Adam responds. “Well, next year you are coming. Bring your family with you. We always have more than enough.”

They talk for a few more minutes and Kris just listens quietly. He feels like Adam could fit into this house, this life, so perfectly. He can see the two of them waking up early, going downstairs to eat breakfast, and then watch the parade for a while. Helping his mom cook dinner after, and then introducing Adam to everyone once they arrive.

“Okay, well I’ll let you talk to Kristopher,” she says into the phone. “Talk to you later, honey.”

Kris takes the phone, smiling at her before she turns around to finish chopping something. “Hi again,” Kris says once he puts the phone back up to his ear.

“Dude, I want your mom to adopt me,” Adam sounds so giddy. “She’s like the coolest mom I’ve ever met.”

Kris chuckles. “You’ve never met her.”

“Well… I will someday.”

“Yeah,” Kris looks down at the chipped blue polish on his thumbnail. “Someday.”

-

Kris gets out of the shower, the towel riding low on his hips and drops of water rolling down his chest, back, and stomach. Everyone is talking loudly downstairs, and Kris just isn’t ready for all of that just yet. He still wants his alone time.

He falls backwards onto his bed, part of the towel slipping off of his hip. It’s nice to just be able to shamelessly spread out without worrying about anyone walking in on him. He hasn’t been able to in a while. Being able to jerk off with Brad as a roommate is nearly impossible because he knows Brad listens. Most of the time, Kris just doesn’t care and does it anyway.

He closes his eyes, letting himself relax and clear his mind. His hand roams his chest, squirming a little under his own touch when his fingers graze over his nipples. Slowly, his hand makes its way past his stomach and rubs his cock through the towel, feeling himself getting hard. He strokes himself slowly, teasingly, just wanting to take his time.

His eyes snap shut and he slips his hand under the towel, pretending that his hand is someone else’s. First, his mind wanders to Katy; her small, soft hands wrapped tightly around his dick. That feels nice, but it’s not enough to get him off. He stops thinking about her and instead there is a mouth sucking his cock, hot and wet and perfect. Kris groans and his dick jerks in his hand— _that_ is going to get him off.

Kris pulls harder and faster, soft whimpers emitting from the back of his throat. It almost hurts, his hand too dry and his pace too fast, but it feels so good that he doesn’t even care. In his mind, he’s fucking that mouth, having it swallow him down and suck him so hard that his eyes roll to the back of his head. He begins fucking his hand, writhing on the sheets and biting back strangled moans. Kris imagines sparkling blue eyes peering up at him, and black tipped nails digging into his thigh as he comes hard down their throat.

He arches his back as he comes in hot spurts all over his hand and stomach, shuddering and gripping the sheets so tight that his knuckles are white. His limbs turn into rubber and he melts into the mattress, feeling completely spent.

After he finally calms down and catches his breath, he realizes who he was thinking about. It makes him feel a little embarrassed. First of all, he can still hear his family downstairs getting ready to eat Thanksgiving dinner. Second of all, he just thought about his best friend sucking his cock while he was jerking off, and it was fucking hot.

Kris gets up and wipes himself off with the towel, wishing he did this before he showered, but he hadn’t really planned on it.

“Kristopher!” His mom yells from downstairs, making Kris jump two feet in the air. “Dinner’s almost ready.”

“Okay,” he whispers to himself as he goes to his suitcase and pulls out a pair of jeans and a plaid shirt. It’s weird being home and living out of a suitcase, but all of the clothes in his closet are too baggy. Thanks to Brad, he’s starting to prefer the snug fit of tighter clothing.

After he gets dressed, he grabs his phone and checks the messages. There’s always a little yellow envelope on the screen, and it’s always from Adam. It’s nice knowing that he has someone who always wants to talk to him. He’s only a little embarrassed at the fact that Adam sent it while Kris was jerking off while thinking about him, but it’s not like Adam would ever know. If he did, Adam would probably be creeped out and never want to talk to Kris again.

He clears his mind of that, starting to creep himself out, and he heads downstairs. The doorbell rings when he’s halfway down. “I’ll get it!”

Expecting it to be a neighbor or a family member, Kris is surprised when he sees Katy on his doorstep. It takes him a moment to realize that she’s right there in front of him, but when he does, he smiles.

“Katy,” he says, reaching out to take her hand and pulls her into the house. “Why didn’t you tell me you were home?”

She shrugs. “I just figured I’d stop by for a little while.”

“Just a little while?” Kris asks, disappointed. He was expecting to have tons of Katy time tonight and for the rest of the weekend. “You’re not staying for dinner?”

“I wasn’t planning-”

“Stay for dinner,” Kris begs. “My mom made a ton of food and she hasn’t seen you in a while. She misses you. _I_ miss you.”

Katy looks at him for a moment while deciding whether or not she should stay. “Alright,” she says eventually, her lips twitch into a small smile. “You know I can’t resist your mom’s cooking.”

Kris grins. “That’s what she’s here for, to lure girlfriends into spending time with their boyfriends.”

She gives him a real smile this time, finally looking happy to be here with him. They head into the kitchen together, his mom pulls her into a hug as soon as she sees Katy.

Just then Kris realizes that he hasn’t hugged her yet, or kissed her, or barely even touched her. He wants to have a do-over and go back to a minute ago when they were at his front door because they can’t really do anything right here in front of his family.

That feeling of need and constantly wanting to touch and hold her isn’t there. Maybe it’s because it’s only been weeks, instead of months, since the last time he saw her.

At dinner they sit next to each other, laughing and having a good time with the rest of Kris’s family. When Kris finishes all of the stuffing from his plate, he starts stealing bites of Katy’s.

The conversation turns to him after a while, everyone so curious to what it’s like to live somewhere other than Arkansas. He tells them about his classes, what it’s like living in a dorm, and his friends, all the same things he’s been telling everyone since he got home on Saturday.

“I’ve talked to most of them and they are all really nice kids,” his mom tells everyone, the fondest smile on her face. “Especially Adam. He’s such a sweetheart and he absolutely adores Kristopher.”

Kris rolls his eyes. “Seriously, mom?”

“Oh, be quiet,” she swats him gently on the arm. “You know it’s true.”

He just looks down at his plate, pushing the little bit of food that’s left with his fork while his mom goes on about Adam and how wonderful Adam’s mother is. If Kris didn’t know any better, he’d think that he and Adam have been friends for years instead of just a few months.

Kris takes his phone out of his pocket and tries to discreetly text under the table. His mom hates when people text at the dinner table, especially when they have company.

 _you are currently the topic of discussion at dinner._

Adam texts him back instantly.

 _is that a good or bad thing?_

 _good. my mom is talking about how sweet you are and stuff. im pretty sure she wants to trade me in for you._

“Who are you texting?” Katy asks, looking down at his phone curiously.

He slips it back in his pocket. “Adam.”

Katy lets out a small huff through her nose, slowly shaking her head. “I don’t even know why I ask.”

Kris gives her a puzzled look. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she says, but it’s clearly a lie.

He reaches over and takes her hand. “Baby, tell me what’s wrong,” he says in a hushed voice so the rest of the table can’t hear. “You’ve been acting really weird lately.”

Katy pulls her hand out of Kris’s grip. “I’m not talking about this with your family here.”

“Not talking about what?” Kris asks, genuinely confused. He feels like he missed a step in their relationship. “Come on, tell me.”

She looks at him with a blank expression for a moment before turning back to the rest of the table. “Will you guys please excuse us for a minute? There’s something I need to discuss with Kris.”

Everyone glances at each other, curious as to what is going on. Kris thinks that most of them probably think they are going off to have sex somewhere, but he’s pretty sure he won’t be getting any after this conversation. As they walk away, Kris can feel all of their eyes on his back.

When they make it out to the front porch, Katy sits down on the top step and he takes a seat next to her. “Now will you please tell me what’s been bothering you?”

“I didn’t want to do this on Thanksgiving,” she tells him. “I had everything I was going to say all planned out, but then seeing you again…”

Kris reaches over to take her hand between his. “Katy, you’re really freaking me out.”

She turns to him, an expression on her face that he’s never seen in the years that he’s known her. He can’t tell if she’s upset or angry, she just looks… broken. “You really don’t see it?”

Kris feels so stupid but he really has no clue what she’s talking about. “See what?”

Katy sighs, pulling her hand from his grip. “You…” she says so quietly that Kris almost doesn’t hear her, “and Adam.”

Kris is taken aback. “What?”

She looks at him this time, her voice louder, without any hesitation at all. “You and Adam.”

“What about me and Adam?” Kris asks. “We’re just friends.”

Katy laughs a pitiful, sad, broken laugh. “You guys are not just friends, Kris,” she says. “Friends don’t look at each other like that, they don’t touch like that. Friends don’t sleep in the same bed every night.”

Kris just sits there, unsure of what to say.

“I knew he was special to you just by talking with you on the phone, but I didn’t really see it until I saw the two of you together. The way you look at him, Kris…” her face is pink now, and her eyes are glassy with tears. “And then when I saw the look on your face when the waiter gave Adam his number… oh my god, it hurt so bad.” Her voice cracks, and the tears are rolling down her cheeks now, her bottom lip trembling. “You looked like you wanted to kill that guy just for looking at Adam.”

“Katy…” Kris breathes.

“No,” she stops him. “I’m not done,” she wipes her tear stained cheeks with the backs of her hands and takes in a shaky breath before she continues. “I thought that maybe I was just imagining things and Adam was just an affectionate person, but then I talked to Allison…”

Kris cuts in, a little angry about what he just heard. “Wait, you were talking to Allison about me?”

“Don’t blame this on her, Kris. I had to beg her to give me any information. She didn’t want to betray your friendship like that, but I needed to know.”

Kris stays quiet and lets her finish.

Katy sniffles and wipes the tears that have travelled down to her chin. “She said that everybody knows, Kris,” her voice sounds strained, like she’s barely able to get the words out. “Everybody can tell.”

He sits there silently, something sharp twisting in his gut.

“You love him, don’t you?” she says in broken syllables, just barely above a whisper.

Kris wants to take her in his arms and say no, he doesn’t love Adam. He wants to tell her that he loves her and he’s always going to be with her, just like they had planned.

He can’t.

Instead he stands up slowly and walks towards the door, just stopping long enough to say, “If you go back in, just tell them that I’m not feeling well and I’ll be in my room.”

Kris knows that he shouldn’t just leave her there, that they need to finish this conversation, but he just needs to breathe and he can’t do that with her there. When he gets to his room he locks his door and sits on the edge of the bed, folding his hands in his lap.

For a while, he just sits there and thinks. He thinks about Adam; his face, eyes, and his smile. He thinks about Adam’s throaty laugh, and the way his eyes get all squinty when he smiles too wide. He thinks about the feeling he gets when Adam holds him while they sleep. Also, he thinks about the ache he feels when he listens to Adam sing quietly under his breath, or when Adam kisses his forehead, or when Adam pulls Kris in for a warm hug.

 _Oh…_

And that’s when it all just clicks.

He knows he should be freaking out, or feel scared, but he doesn’t. Realizing this isn’t as surprising to him as it should be, like in the back of his mind he already knew. The feelings have always there, but he was just afraid to admit it. He should probably be having some big gay revelation, but he’s not sure if he’s even considered gay if he only likes one boy.

For a moment he debates calling Adam, but hearing his voice right now would be too much. What would he even say? ‘Hey, Katy and I broke up because she thinks I’m in love with you and I’m pretty sure she’s right.’ Knowing Kris, he’d accidentally let it all slip and Adam would tell him, ‘I’m sorry, Kris. I don’t feel the same way.’

Kris doesn’t think he could handle that right now.

Needing to clear his mind from everything, he gets up to get his guitar. He’s thankful that he decided to bring it because if he didn’t have it right now, he would go insane.

There is no song that seems right for how he’s feeling, so he just plays. He plays a combination of random songs that he’s known for years and some that he makes up along the way. His mind creates lyrics that he knows he’ll never remember tomorrow, but he’s in no mood to stop playing long enough to write them down. When his fingers start to sting, he plays through the pain.

He plays, and plays, and plays, until his fingers no longer have any feeling left in them at all.

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

Kris stuffs one last shirt into his suitcase and zips it up. It feels weird to be leaving so soon, but he’s ready for it. This week went by painfully slow and he just wants to be back in California more than anything.

After one last glance around the room to make sure he has everything, he gets his phone to text Adam.

 _are you still picking me up from the airport later?_

It’s going to be strange seeing Adam again. His stomach does a little flip flop whenever he thinks about it. Adam doesn’t know what happened yet, nobody does. He’s pretty sure that his parents know that something is up, but they haven’t said anything about it. Kris has been hiding in his room for the past two days, not in the mood to talk to anybody.

Ever since what happened on Thanksgiving, Kris has done nothing but think. He thinks about Adam, and Katy, and how everything is about to change. It hurts knowing that he’s losing Katy. He’s loved her for so long; he probably will for the rest of his life. It’s just, now there is someone else that he’s in love with as well.

It’s weird that he’s finally allowing himself to think about Adam that way. For so long he’s been pushing those feelings to the side and ignoring them. It would’ve felt like cheating if he admitted it, even if it was just to himself.

Kris tries to remember when he started to fall for Adam. Maybe it was when he wrote that song for Adam a couple of months ago, or when he started sleeping in Adam’s bed every night, or maybe when Adam finally sang for him on Halloween when they were lying together under the stars. Maybe it was just a combination of every moment they’ve shared together, escalating up to this.

The phone vibrates in his hand and it makes his heart stammer in his chest. That’s been happening every single time Adam has texted him in the past two days and it’s driving Kris nuts. He feels like a 12 year old girl.

 _yes! im so excited to see you!!_

Kris grins as he texts Adam back. He’s not sure how he feels about seeing Adam. Of course he’s excited about it, but a part of him is so nervous that he wants to vomit. If Adam finds out how Kris feels and rejects him, it could ruin their friendship. Kris can’t lose Adam as a friend. Adam means way too much to him for that to happen.

There’s a soft knock on Kris’s door that he automatically knows is his mother. She lets herself in before he can answer. He never understood why she does that. Why bother knocking if you’re just going to let yourself in anyway?

“Are you ready to go?” She asks as she takes a seat on his bed, folding some of his clothes that he decided not to take with him.

By the look on her face, Kris can tell she’s up here for something other than to know if he’s ready to leave.

“Yeah,” he tells her. “I just finished packing.”

She smiles, placing the clothes neatly back on his bed and then folds her hands in her lap. Yeah, she’s definitely there to talk to him about something and he has a pretty good idea of what it’s about.

“I didn’t see Katy around this weekend,” she says casually.

Kris sits down next to her on the bed, looking down at his hands. He nervously chips off the last bit of nail polish on his thumb as he comes up with an excuse to tell her. Lying to his mom is something he absolutely hates doing, but he can’t tell her the truth just yet. He’s not ready.

“We kinda had a fight,” he says.

She puts a hand on his shoulder. “Aw, sweetheart. You didn’t break up, did you?”

Kris shrugs. He’s actually not even sure if they are officially broken up. Under the circumstances, he assumes that she doesn’t want to be with him anymore. He knows that he wouldn’t want to be if she fell for someone else.

“I don’t know,” he tells her. “We haven’t discussed that yet.”

She pulls Kris into a hug and doesn’t say anything for a while. He hopes she doesn’t ask anything else, but he knows she will. Even though she’s the nicest person in the world, she’s also nosy as hell.

“Can you tell me what happened?” She asks as they pull apart.

 _I fell in love with my best friend._

He says the first thing that pops in his mind, “The distance.”

It’s not a total lie. The distance was making things difficult. “She’s just sick of me not being around all the time.”

He can tell by her face that she doesn’t believe him. Lying has never been something he’s good at, especially to her. Somehow she has the ability to know everything. It must be a mom thing.

She doesn’t call him out on it. Instead, she just gives him a sad smile and another hug. “I’m sure you guys will be able to work it out,” she says. “And, if not, maybe it’s for the best. It might be good for you to meet new people while you’re at school.”

Kris sighs. “Yeah, maybe.”

His mom kisses the side of his head and stands up. “You better get going, your dad is waiting out in the car.”

The fact that his mom isn’t crying right now reminds him that he’s not even going to be gone for that long. In a little over two weeks, he’s going to be back here for an entire month. Just one week felt like torture, he has no idea how he’ll survive a month.

“Bye mom,” he says as he pulls her in for one last hug. “I’ll see you soon.”

Even though she’s not crying, she still squeezes him just has hard as she did the first time he left. “Have a safe trip,” she says. “Give Adam a hug for me when you see him.”

Kris plans on giving Adam about ten hugs.

“I will.”

-

“Can you stop by Katy’s really quick?” Kris asks his dad as they pull out of the driveway. He really doesn’t want to fly back to California without talking to her first.

“We’re already running short on time,” his dad says, but he takes the turn towards Katy’s house anyway. “Just don’t take too long, okay? You can’t miss your flight.”

Kris unbuckles his seat belt as soon as they get to her street. Her car is in the driveway, so he knows she’s home. This is the first time in his life he’s ever felt nervous to talk to her. She’s always the one who makes him calm down about everything.

“I’ll just be a minute,” he tells his dad as he jumps out of the car. For a moment he wants to say ‘screw this’ and get back in. Having this conversation would be so much easier over the phone, but she means too much to him to just call her up when he’s thousands of miles away.

Katy doesn’t answer on the first knock. Maybe she knows it’s him and is trying to avoid him. He stands there for a moment and listens through the door, but he doesn’t hear anything. The second time he knocks, she opens the door.

“Uh,” she says, her eyes wide like she is surprised to see him. “Hi.”

He forces a smile. “Can I come in?”

She bites her lip and considers it for a moment before stepping to the side to let him in. Seeing her makes him want to forget about everything that happened, kiss her until she can no longer think, and tell her that he loves her. He wonders if he’ll ever stop loving her.

They walk into her living room and sit as far apart from each other as possible on the couch. He knows he needs to say something because she certainly isn’t going to. Her eyes are wandering all around the room, trying to focus on anything but him.

Kris takes a deep breath, and just goes for it. “You were right.”

His voice startles her, and when she finally looks at him, her eyes are so sad. It hurts to know that he’s the reason why. He always promised himself that he would never hurt her, and he would never make her cry. It sucks that he couldn’t follow through with that promise.

“I know,” Katy whispers.

Kris really wishes he was good with words because he needs to say the right thing; he just isn’t sure of what that is. There probably isn’t a right thing to say, because no matter what, her heart will still be broken in the end.

He stares at an empty spot on the wall, not having the courage to look at her face.

“I didn’t mean to.”

In the corner of his eye, he can see her wiping a tear from her cheek. “I know you didn’t,” she says. “I’ve been crying all weekend, feeling like you betrayed me by falling in love with someone else.” They finally look each other in the eyes. “The worst part is that I can’t even be mad at you for it because you didn’t even realize it.”

“You can punch me if you want,” he says, trying to lighten the mood a little.

And it works; she gives him the slightest hint of a smile. “You make it so difficult for me to hate you.”

Kris gets serious again. “Katy… I couldn’t live with myself if you hated me,” he confesses. “You’re my best friend in the whole world and I’m so sorry that I hurt you. This whole thing was never supposed to happen. I never planned on finding someone else,” he pauses. “Especially…”

“A boy.”

Kris exhales the breath he was holding. “Yeah,” he says and reaches over to take her hand. “I just need you to know that I still love you. That will never, ever change. If you want to try to work this all out we-”

“No,” she cuts him off. “I thought about that and… it just wouldn’t be fair. It wouldn’t be fair to you, or to me, and it wouldn’t be fair to Adam.”

Kris gives her a questioning look. “What do you mean it wouldn’t be fair to Adam?”

Katy rolls her eyes, a real smile on her lips this time. “You really are an idiot when it comes to feelings,” she says. “Adam is crazy about you, Kris.”

Kris feels his heart start pounding in his chest. He silently prays that she’s right. “Did Allison tell you that?”

“She didn’t have to,” Katy tells him, her eyes starting to get pink and glassy. “I remember seeing his face every time you were around him and…” she stops and takes a deep breath to keep herself from falling apart. “I would probably think it was cute if it didn’t make me want to cry.” She wipes the tears from her face with the back of her hand. “You just need to tell him.”

Kris can’t believe this is happening. When he came home a week ago, he never thought he’d be going back without Katy as his girlfriend. He doesn’t even know what it’s like to be single.

He squeezes her hand. “I never cheated on you with him, you know that, right?”

Katy nods. “I know you would never cheat on me,” she says. “I never had to worry about that.”

Kris hears his dad honk the horn outside.

“I guess you’ve got to go.”

He stands and pulls her up with him, hesitating a bit before he hugs her. She buries her face in his neck and her fingers dig into his back. Kris tries to put the smell of her strawberry scented hair in the back of his mind so he won’t forget it. He doesn’t know when he’ll be able to do this again.

When they finally break apart, Kris gently cups her chin and leans in for a kiss. She lets out a surprised noise, but then she kisses him back. He can taste the salt from her tears and a bit of cherry chapstick on her lips. It feels so comfortable because it’s everything he knows, but it’s scary because he knows that it’s goodbye.

“Bye Katy,” he whispers, and then leans back in for one last kiss.

-

“Is everything alright?” His dad asks once Kris gets in the car.

Kris looks up at him with sad eyes. “We broke up.”

His dad looks shocked. Kris is a little bit, too. “What happened?”

Kris goes with the lie he told his mother. If he’s going to keep lying to them, he might as well keep his story straight. “It’s just too hard with the distance and everything.”

“I’m sorry, Kristopher,” his dad says and reaches over to squeeze Kris’s shoulder, giving him a sympathetic look. “Maybe when you get back from Christmas break, the two of you can work something out.”

“Yeah,” Kris says, even though he knows that won’t be the case. “Maybe.”

On the way to the airport, Kris thinks about what his parents would say if he told them the real reason why they broke up. Neither of them are homophobic. His father doesn’t really know Adam too well, but his mom adores him. Kris just wonders if she still would if Adam was his boyfriend. It would kill Kris if they were ashamed of him. That’s the only thing about all of this that scares him.

-

When the plane lands, Kris feels a little like throwing up. He also wants to jump over the seats and knock everyone out of the way so he can finally get off of this stupid plane and see Adam. It feels like he hasn’t seen Adam in forever, but it’s only been a week.

He sends Adam a text to let him know that he’s here.

 _I just landed_

It’s ridiculous how nervous Kris is. He doesn’t plan on telling Adam everything, at least not yet. If Katy is wrong, and Adam doesn’t feel the same way, Kris will be humiliated. And, if she is right, he’s anxious to know what may come from all of this.

Never in his life did he think he would ever have a boyfriend, or even want one. He doesn’t even know how to have a boyfriend. It’s probably so much different than dating Katy. Who opens the door when they go on a date, or who pays for dinner? Maybe they could switch it up every once in a while. That would be nice. Dating Katy was always so expensive.

 _hurry the fuck up! i wanna see you!_

He feels his stomach flip and he tries to calm himself down a little for when he actually sees Adam. This whole schoolgirl crush thing is beginning to annoy him. It makes him feel too anxious and jittery. He hasn’t felt this way since he was 13 when Katy started sitting next to him in the cafeteria.

The line of people finally starts moving and he squeezes between two guys. He’s in no mood to be polite and wait for someone to let him out. When he finally gets off the plane, he walks a little bit faster than he normally would. He feels kind of stupid and pathetic, but he doesn’t even care.

Kris sees the crowd of people waiting up ahead and he pouts a little when he doesn’t see Adam. It’s not like he’s hard to miss. As he gets closer, he sees a mess of black hair peeking out over some tall guy’s shoulder. Their eyes meet and Kris feels a flutter in his stomach.

Any doubts he had about whether or not he could be with a guy are completely gone. It’s not just being with another guy, it’s being with Adam.

And that’s what Kris wants.

* * *

Before they are even close enough to touch, Adam has his arms held out for a hug. Kris falls easily into his embrace, squeezing Adam tight around his waist. Adam hugs him back so hard that they stumble on their feet a little, laughing as they try to regain their balance. The people around them probably think they’ve been apart for months instead of days.

“Missed you,” Adam whispers right above Kris’s ear.

It’s nice to be here again, in Adam’s arms and his face buried in his favorite spot on Adam’s shoulder. He missed this like crazy. “Me too.”

They stay like that for a little while longer, eventually pulling apart and sharing the same stupid smile.

Seeing Adam’s face right now, so bright and happy, gives Kris little butterflies in this stomach. It makes Kris want to do something; kiss him or confess everything that happened this week. He doesn’t. Instead, he settles for pulling Adam in for another hug.

He’s not ready for Adam to know yet.

Adam pulls back way before Kris wants to. He wants to protest and mumble ‘Five more minutes’ like he does in the mornings when he’s not ready to get up. Kris is tired and Adam is comfortable, and he really, really can’t wait for them to go to sleep together tonight.

“Was your flight okay?” Adam asks as they start walking, his arm draped over Kris’s shoulders.

“Yeah,” Kris yawns. “I’m just really happy to be home.”

 _Home._ Kris thinks. He’s not sure he has ever referred to this place as his home before. It’s weird, but landing in Los Angeles and seeing Adam feels more like home than it did when he landed in Arkansas.

Adam presses a soft kiss to the side of Kris’s head. “I’m glad you’re home, too.”

They eventually make it out to the car after getting Kris’s bags and they toss them into the trunk. Kris sinks into the seat as soon as he gets his seatbelt on and closes his eyes. Adam gets in and turns the radio down low once the car starts. They don’t really talk for most of the ride, and Kris’s mind is swimming with too many thoughts and he can’t make himself fall asleep. His mind wanders to a conversation he and Adam had a few days ago.

“Didn’t you say you bought me something?” he asks without even opening his eyes.

“Yeah!” Adam says, sounding excited. He leans over to reach the glove compartment and opens it while trying to keep his eyes on the road at the same time. “It’s a little white box in there somewhere.”

Kris sits up and digs through the papers Adam has stuffed in there until he feels the pointy edges of a box. He pulls it out and there is a small silver ribbon wrapped around it.

“It’s nothing special or anything,” Adam says, suddenly looking a little embarrassed that he bought Kris something. “I just saw it at the store and it made me think of you.”

Adam is managing to make him feel like a 12 year old girl again. He really hopes that he has that effect on Adam.

He unties the ribbon and takes the lid off of the box. On the inside is a little pendant with a music note carved into it, hanging on a black cord. Kris has never been into jewelry, but this is something that he wouldn’t mind wearing at all.

“Adam, this is awesome,” he says and takes the necklace out of the box and puts it on.

Adam grins at him. “So you like it?”

“I love it,” he says, looking down at it on his chest. “I feel bad I didn’t buy you anything, though.”

“Shut up,” Adam says. “I like buying you things.”

Kris still feels bad about it, but whatever. He’s too happy to argue.

-

Everything looks the same. His sheets are still in a ball on his bed because he never made it before he left, the pictures are still up on the walls, and it still has the strong aroma of Brad’s cologne. It’s all familiar and comfortable, and he never wants to leave.

Kris drops his bags and guitar on the floor and face plants onto his bed. He could probably sleep for days if the world would let him. Unfortunately he has finals coming up that he desperately needs to study for.

Adam walks in from his room, smiling when he sees Kris already in bed. He crawls in, squeezing in the spot between Kris and the wall. It’s weird having Adam in his bed, usually they sleep in Adam’s, but this is nice too.

“’m tired,” Adam yawns.

Kris watches as Adam’s eyes flutter closed. He fights the urge to reach over and touch Adam’s face and his hair. It’s so ridiculous how much he missed Adam, missed cuddling with him. It was never like this with Katy. He never wanted it all this much when he was with her. The fact that it’s all hitting Kris so suddenly is kind of scary. A week ago they were just friends and now Kris wants more, but he has no idea how.

Adam’s eyes blink open again and he catches Kris staring at him. “You’re creepy.”

Kris laughs and shifts a little closer. “I know.”

Now that he’s actually in bed with Adam right here to snuggle up to, he doesn’t feel all that tired. He feels nervous and his palms are a little sweaty. Adam is still looking at him, his eyes wide and curious, like he’s trying to figure out what Kris is thinking about.

“Kris,” he breathes. “What’s wrong?”

Kris takes a deep breath.

“Me and Katy broke up.”

Adam sits up quickly, his hair sticking up where it was against the pillow. “What?” he gasps. “Kris, why didn’t you tell me?”

Kris sits up and shrugs. “I haven’t really told anyone yet.”

“But… are you okay?” he asks. “When did it happen?”

“She broke up with me on Thanksgiving.”

Adam’s eyebrows shoot up. “Thanksgiving? I’ve talked to you a thousand times since then and you never even mentioned it. You just let me go on and on about Black Friday sales and getting my hair done while you were going through all of this.”

He just now notices that Adam’s hair is different, but right now probably isn’t the right time to bring that up.

“Adam,” Kris says just to shut him up. “It’s okay. I’m not crying over it or anything. It’s just something that needed to happen.”

He sits there with a small pout, looking like he’s not quite sure of what he’s supposed to do or say. “Do you want ice cream?”

Kris laughs. “What?”

“I don’t know. If my boyfriend broke up with me, I would want ice cream.”

“Yeah,” Kris nods. “Ice cream sounds good.”

Adam doesn’t make any movements to get up. He just sits and stares at Kris with sad, curious eyes. When he finally does move, it’s to envelope Kris in a hug. “I’m sorry,” Adam whispers, rocking them back and forth a little. “I know how much she means to you.”

Kris sighs, letting himself fall completely into Adam’s embrace. “I’m okay.”

“I know,” Adam mumbles into Kris’s neck. “I just don’t want to see you sad.”

The thing is, Kris isn’t sad. He’s hopeful about what may come out of all of this. It’s more of an anxious feeling than anything else.

Adam holds him for a while and pets Kris’s hair. Kris never wants to leave this little spot. It’s nice here and Adam smells really amazing.

But then the door swings open and Kris looks up to see Allison standing in the doorway staring at the two of them and looking a little unsure if she’s welcome.

“Am I interrupting something?” she asks.

 _Yes,_ Kris thinks.

“No,” Adam says, letting go of Kris.

“What’s up?” she cautiously walks in the room and stands beside the bed and watches Kris and Adam untangle themselves from each other.

“Nothing,” Kris says. “I was just telling Adam that Katy and I broke up.”

He glares at Allison, trying to say ‘I know what you told Katy’ without actually saying it. She seems to get the message because she looks at Kris like a deer in headlights.

“Oh… that sucks,” she says, fidgeting nervously with the hem of her shirt. “I’m sorry, dude.”

Kris turns to Adam. “Do you think you could go get that ice cream?”

“Uh…” Adam says, realizing that something is going on, but completely clueless as to what it is. “Sure. I’ll be right back, I guess.”

Adam climbs out of Kris’s bed and heads to the door, looking over his shoulder at the two of them before he leaves.

“Kris, oh my god. I am so sorry,” Allison says as soon as the door clicks shut. “I didn’t want to tell her anything, but she kept asking and asking, so eventually I started to feel bad and-”

“It’s okay,” Kris cuts her off. “Well, it’s not okay because it really wasn’t any of your business, but I’m not mad.”

He can tell Allison wasn’t expecting that. “You’re not mad?”

“I was at first,” Kris tells her. “I had no idea why someone I consider a good friend would talk about me behind my back to my girlfriend – especially about something like that. But, after I thought about it for a while, I’m glad that you did.”

Allison’s eyebrows shoot up, surprised. “You’re glad?”

“Well, I would have preferred to figure it out on my own and not have everything fall apart like the way it did, but you telling Katy made me realize…”

“That you love Adam,” she finishes, and sounding a little too excited about it.

“Yeah,” Kris admits. Allison is the first person, aside from Katy, that he has actually told, even though she already knew. Telling someone makes it feel more real. It’s no longer just something he’s been daydreaming about for the past couple of days. “How did you know, anyway?” he asks. “I didn’t even know.”

Allison plops herself down on his bed, crossing her legs. “I don’t know, man…” she stares off into space like she’s trying to picture it in her head. “You just look so fucking happy when you’re with him. You’re always touching him and looking at him and giving him hugs. It’s pretty adorable, actually.”

Kris feels a little embarrassed. He never meant to be so obvious. It’s just that he really likes touching Adam – he has since the very beginning. The first night they met, Kris remembers sitting close to Adam on his bed as they watched _Clueless_. That feels like it was a million years ago.

“I hope you know that you can still trust me,” Allison says. “Like I said before, I really didn’t want to tell her, but she kept asking and I felt so bad about it. I swear, though. Nobody will ever get another secret out of me again. They’ll have to kill me first.”

Kris chuckles and leans over to give her a hug. “A secret is something that someone tells you. I didn’t even tell you. You just figured it out on your own.”

“Okay, then the next time I have a suspicion that you like another dude, I’ll keep it to myself,” she says with a laugh. “Speaking of which… have you told Adam yet?”

“Oh god, no,” Kris says. “I have no idea how to even tell someone that kind of thing.”

Allison rests her chin in her hand. “You should, though. He likes you and I think you’d be really good together.”

His heart pounds in his chest. “Has he told you that?”

“Not really, but he has hinted at it a few times. I mean, everyone can tell that he’s fucking nuts about you. It’s not really a secret.”

Kris wonders how long this has been going on; his friends talking about them and how they could potentially like each other.

“Oh!” Allison says suddenly. “If you guys do get together, do you mind waiting until after break? I kind of have twenty bucks on it.”

Kris isn’t sure if he should be pissed off or laugh at that.

“You bet on us?”

She slouches a little, her lips form a frown. “Maybe?” she hesitates. “Don’t blame me! Tommy started it. Brad and I are the only ones left in it. Everyone else thought you would’ve cracked by now.”

Kris buries his face in his hands because, _seriously?_ His friends have money on the fact that he and Adam are going to be together. How has everyone else known and he was completely oblivious about his feelings towards Adam?

He shakes his head. “I’ll see what I can do.”

-

Allison leaves because she figures they want to be alone before Brad and Tommy get there, and Adam comes back about twenty minutes later with vanilla ice cream and pot.

“You bought pot?” Kris asks, reaching out to grab the baggie from Adam.

Adam shrugs. “That Mark guy down the hall sold it to me. What easier way to get over someone than getting stoned?” he says. “Last year when that senior dude rejected me, all Brad and I did was smoke and eat ice cream.”

“Did it work?”

“No,” Adam says as he takes the lid off of the ice cream, “but it made me sleepy.”

Kris remembers the last time they smoked and it was amazing. He feels excited to get to do it again. It also makes him a little nervous because he knows the punishment for getting caught smoking in the dorms. He knows he should listen to the part of him that is saying that it’s not a good idea, but the part of him that remembers what it’s like to get high with Adam wins that argument.

They find Tommy’s bong hidden under his bed and after three hits, Kris is completely gone. The few times he has smoked before, it never made him feel like this. It was always a nice, relaxing feeling. Now the room is all swirly and everything is in slow motion. And he’s pretty sure that moving isn’t an option right now.

Adam looks over at him, his eyes pink and glazed over, exhaling a lungful of smoke with a cough. “You alright?”

“I’m awesome,” Kris says, and then just starts laughing. He has no idea what he’s laughing at or why, but he can’t stop. His cheeks begin to hurt and his eyes start to water and Adam is looking at him like he is insane.

“Okay,” Adam says, putting the bong and the lighter on the floor. “No more for you.”

Kris falls back on his bed, still trembling from his giggle fit. “I think I’d die if I smoked anymore, anyway.”

Adam lies down next to him and closes his eyes. Kris takes that as an opportunity to creepily stare at him again. Adam’s eyeliner is smudged all around his eyes and his face and neck are a little red and he just looks really _hot_ right now. The way the light is shining on Adam’s hair is making it look a little blue. Kris reaches out to touch and the blue hair seems to move with his fingers.

“Your hair is blue,” Kris says, continuing to comb through Adam’s hair.

Adam opens one eye and peers up at Kris. “I told you that I got it done.”

When he closes his eyes this time, Adam sort of nuzzles his hand, letting Kris know where he wants to be touched. Adam actually moans a little when Kris’s fingers trail down to a spot right behind his ear. He continues to play with Adam’s hair just so he keeps making those noises.

Kris tries not to think about Adam and sex ever since he jerked off thinking about him last week, but right now it’s really hard not to. Adam is just so compliant under his touch, responding with little whimpering sounds every time Kris’s nails gently scratch his scalp. It makes him wonder what it would be like to have sex with Adam. Neither of them have experience when it comes to gay sex, but Kris knows the basics of it.

Would he be on top, or would Adam? The few times he has stumbled across gay porn – he was just a little curious – the bigger guy was always the one on top. He’s not sure if there is a rule about that or anything, but he’s never been on the receiving end of sex. It seems like it would hurt.

“Why’d you stop?” Adam mumbles, making Kris lose his train of thought.

“Huh?”

“Your hand,” he says. “You stopped.”

“Oh,” Kris says, realizing his hand is just kind of buried in Adam’s hair now. “Sorry.”

Kris pushes the thoughts about sex to the back of his mind for now and continues to lazily stroke Adam’s hair while he watches him sleep.

* * *

 

“Did you tell him yet?”

Kris leans down to bang his head on the desk a couple of times. They’ve been having the same conversation every day this week. It’s the very first thing Allison says to him whenever nobody else is around. She has kept her promise and hasn’t said a word to anyone, which Kris is thankful for. Now he just has to get her to stop pestering him about it.

“No,” he says once he sits up, a red mark forming on his forehead from where he had it pressed against the desk. “Like I told you before, I’m just going to wait for everything to happen on its own.”

Allison makes a frustrated growling sound. “You are so _stupid_ ,” she says. “He likes you and you like him. I don’t get why you’re making such a big deal out of it.”

Kris fiddles with the pen in his hands, not meeting her eyes. “It’s just…” Kris knows he’s about to sound really stupid right now, “I’ve never had a boyfriend before, and neither has he. I want to make sure I do everything right.”

When she doesn’t respond right away, he makes the mistake of peering up at her. The expression on her face reminds him of a little kid at the pet store. Her brown eyes are wide and adoring, like she just saw the cutest puppy ever. “ _Kris_ ,” she coos. “Oh my god, you’re so pathetic over him.”

He rolls his eyes, despite the blush creeping up his neck. “Shut up.”

“Dude, you know that Adam is, like, the easiest person in the entire world to please,” Allison says. “He’ll be happy if you just tell him how you feel. You don’t need some elaborate scheme for him to be your boyfriend.”

“I’m not planning any…” he trails off when he sees Cale making his way towards them. “We’ll talk about this later.”

She sighs and turns around to face the front.

“You guys got quiet all of a sudden,” Cale says, glancing back and forth between Kris and the back of Allison’s head. “What’s going on?”

Kris has never been good at lying, especially right on the spot. “Nothing,” he says. “I was just asking her if we had any homework.”

He immediately wants to smack himself in the face because they never have homework in this class, not since the very first week. Cale raises an eyebrow, completely unconvinced. Kris could just tell him, it’s not like Cale will judge him for it or anything. According to Allison, he already assumes Kris likes Adam anyway.

But, before Kris can say anything, the professor walks in and Cale brings his attention to the front of the room.

Kris rests his forehead on the desk again. Life was so much easier when he was dating Katy.

-

The professor lets them out early after their review for the final. This was his last class of the semester and Kris feels a small weight lifted from his shoulders. All he has to do is suffer through finals and then he’s done for an entire month. No books, no classes, and no studying. There will also be no Adam, but Kris really doesn’t want to think about that until the time comes.

“Can we go to Starbucks?” Cale asks. “I need some caffeine. I kept falling asleep in class.”

“I fucking love Starbucks,” Allison replies. “And they have all of those Christmas flavors now. The gingerbread latte is so good.”

Kris starts to say something about his distaste for anything coffee flavored – it leaves a horrible aftertaste and it makes his breath stink – but a glimpse of messy black hair catches his eye. Even from all the way at the other end of the hall, Kris can tell that it’s Adam. It’s really hard to mistake Adam for anyone else. Even though California is full of unique looking people, none of them look quite like him.

As he gets closer, he notices that Adam is talking to a boy. The boy is about Kris’s size with blonde hair and a look in his eye that reminds Kris of the waiter at the Olive Garden. The feeling in his gut is similar to the one he got back then and, Katy was right, it is definitely jealousy. Only now that he’s acknowledging the feeling instead of just denying it, it’s much more intense.

Kris slows his pace a little, watching as the blonde boy makes Adam laugh, and Kris hears it echoing through the hall. He doesn’t even know why he’s jealous. Just because the boy is talking to Adam doesn’t mean he’s gay. Even if he is, it shouldn’t matter to Kris. It’s not like Adam is his or anything. He’s allowed to talk to anyone he wants.

“Hey, it’s Adam!” Allison says once they are a little closer.

It was loud enough for Adam to hear because he turns his head, his grin getting a little wider when he sees them approaching him. “Hey,” he says to the three of them, but then his eyes narrow in on Kris. “What are you guys doing?”

“We just got out of class,” Kris says, glancing at the boy through the corner of his eye. He’s just standing there with a pretty smile on his face waiting to continue his conversation with Adam. “We were thinking about going to Starbucks. Wanna come?”

“Yeah, sure,” Adam smiles down at Kris. “My class was canceled so I was about to come find you and see if you wanted to hang out, anyway.” He looks up at the boy he was talking to. “Oh! This is Justin. Justin, this is Kris, Cale, and Allison.”

Cale and Allison both politely say ‘hi’ back, but Kris just gives him a small nod. Justin’s eyes travel along Kris’s body and he has an eyebrow is raised a little and a smirk on his face. Kris isn’t really sure what that look is supposed to mean, but it’s making him feel a little uncomfortable.

“Do you want to come with us?” Adam asks Justin.

Justin’s eyes linger on Kris for another moment before he looks at Adam again. “No, thanks. I’ve got to meet up with my roommate in the library in a few minutes.”

“Alright, well I guess I’ll see you on Wednesday for the final,” Adam says, and Kris feels his fingers gently press into his lower back.

“Yeah,” Justin says, his eyes darting to Kris again. “See you.”

The four of them walk away; Adam puts his arm around Kris’s shoulders and Allison links her arm with Adam’s. Cale sticks close to Kris’s side. Kris has his fingers curled around Adam’s waist and his shirt feels so soft. He has a pair of old sweatpants on and he’s not wearing any makeup. Kris is pretty sure he just rolled out of bed before he left for class. He feels warm and comfortable, and it makes Kris want to go back to the dorm and take a nap.

“So your professor canceled the last class before finals?” Allison asks, pulling Kris back into reality instead of thinking about hiding under the covers with Adam. “Isn’t that supposed to be like a review?”

“Yeah, it’s bullshit,” Adam says, a little bit of anger in his voice. “If I knew he was going to cancel, I would still be sleeping.”

When they get to the Starbucks on campus, Allison and Cale go right up to the counter while Adam and Kris hang back a little so Adam can decide what he wants.

“Let me guess,” Adam says, “you’re getting hot chocolate.”

“Maybe,” Kris says. “It’s better than those fancy, frappy things.”

Adam laughs. “It’s called a frappuccino and they are awesome.”

“Whatever,” he says. “I think they sound disgusting. Hot chocolate is better.”

Adam shakes his head, a sweet smile on his lips. “I love you and your predictability.”

Kris tries to ignore the little flutter in his belly. He knows Adam didn’t mean it in the _I’m in love with you_ kind of way, but it’s still nice to hear.

“What are you getting?” Kris asks, pushing those stupid feelings to the side.

Adam looks up at the menu, his tongue poking out a little as he decides. “A peppermint mocha frappuccino.”

Kris scrunches his face. “That sounds gross.”

“I’m going to make you taste it and you will love it,” Adam assures him.

Kris goes up to order first and he doesn’t even really think before he says it. “Can I get a hot chocolate and a peppermint mocha frappuccino?”

The lady behind the counter smiles. “What size?”

“What size?” Kris asks Adam.

“Kris, I can pay for myself,” Adam tells him.

Kris ignores him. “What size?”

He knows that this isn’t some huge grand gesture that will make Adam fall in love with him, but it’s _something_. Kris can’t help but notice that Adam looks like he’s trying really hard not to smile.

“Grande,” Adam finally says.

Kris pays and they head over to where Cale and Allison are sitting. Adam bumps his shoulder against Kris’s before they sit down. “I’m paying next time.”

He knows that shouldn’t make his heart beat faster, but it does.

The four of them talk while they wait for their drinks to be ready. Kris and Adam each play with the ends of a straw wrapper that was left on the table. Instead of listening to the conversation, he pays attention to the way Adam rolls up his end of the wrapper until his fingers are just an inch or so from Kris’s, and then watches it unravel in one loose curl.

“Hot chocolate and a peppermint mocha frappuccino!” A different girl than the one who took their order calls out.

Adam actually moans when he takes a sip of his. “Oh my god, Kris. You have to try this.” He holds his drink up to Kris, practically forcing the straw in his mouth. It’s actually not that bad at all, and Kris can taste some of Adam’s lip gloss. “Isn’t it amazing?”

It actually kind of is, but Kris is too stubborn to admit it. “It’s okay.”

Kris takes a sip of his hot chocolate. It’s not as good as it would be if it was actually cold outside. It’s so weird for Kris that it’s December and he can still go outside in a t-shirt. Now that he’s used to the warmth, he doesn’t want to go back to another cold winter in Arkansas.

When he peeks back up at Adam over his cup, he notices the expression on Adam’s face. He’s looking straight ahead, his eyes full of fear like he just saw a ghost. Kris whips his head around to see what he’s looking at, a little nervous as to what he might find. It’s nothing but students drinking coffee and working on their laptops.

“What is it?” Kris asks, reaching out to hold Adam’s wrist. “What’s wrong?”

Adam looks down, but avoids meeting Kris’s eyes. “Nothing, let’s just go back to our room.”

He looks scared. Kris has never seen Adam scared before, except for when Tommy makes them watch his creepy, gory movies. It’s freaking Kris out a little bit.

“Alright,” Kris says and lets go of Adam’s wrist. He glances over his shoulder at Cale and Allison and motions to them that they’re leaving.

They don’t even make it five feet before some guy bumps into Adam, a little too hard to be unintentional, and Adam’s cup falls to the floor, splattering his drink everywhere. Kris almost writes it off as an accident until he sees that the guy who did it is laughing, and Adam’s face is a bright shade of red.

“Who is he?” Kris asks, anger bubbling up inside of him. “Do you know him?”

Adam’s focus is still on his cup on the floor. “He’s nobody. Can we please just go?”

Kris has every intention on listening to Adam and ignoring this guy, but then he hears it.

“Fag.”

Kris isn’t sure if the guy even meant for them to hear that, but they did. This time when Kris looks up at Adam, he’s staring back with a vulnerable look on his face that makes Kris’s heart break in half. Adam is scared, and Kris realizes that this isn’t a one time thing. It has happened before.

He wants to kill this guy with his bare hands.

Something inside of him snaps and he makes a move for the guy, but before he can get anywhere, Adam’s arm is draped across Kris’s chest to hold him back. “No,” Adam says quietly in Kris’s ear. “Don’t.”

But that guy just called Adam a… “But he-”

“I know, but it’s fine,” Adam says. “I’ve been dealing with this all semester. I don’t need you to get in the middle of it.”

Kris looks back at the guy who is walking away now. He’s a lot bigger than he looked a moment ago, and Kris is sure that he wouldn’t be able to do much damage, but he sure as hell would’ve tried.

He feels Adam’s chin pressing against his shoulder. “Can we please go now?”

Kris tilts his head back to look at Adam. “Yeah, let’s go.”

-

He sits on Adam’s bed and listens to the water running as Adam takes a shower. What happened at Starbucks keeps replaying over and over again in his head. Adam said that he has been dealing with this guy all semester. Why wouldn’t he tell Kris about this? If he’d known, he would’ve stopped it a long time ago, or at least tried.

A few minutes later, Adam comes out of the bathroom in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. His hair is damp and sticking up all over the place, his face a little red from the hot water. Kris doesn’t understand how someone can look at Adam and want to make him feel bad, or call him what that guy had called him, or want to make him anything but perfectly happy.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Kris asks as soon as Adam sits down across from him on the bed.

“There’s nothing to tell.”

That’s the dumbest thing Adam has ever said. “What do you mean that there’s nothing to tell? This guy has been doing this shit to you all semester.”

Adam just nods. “Yeah, and the semester before that there was another guy. In high school there were several of them. I’ve just gotten used to it, I guess.”

That breaks Kris’s heart. “You shouldn’t have to get used to it, Adam. You need to tell someone.”

“This isn’t high school, Kris. I can’t just go to the principal whenever someone calls me a fag or pushes me in the hallway,” he explains. “I’m different. I have blue in my hair and I wear weird clothes. I like boys and it’s not exactly a secret. I’m like a huge target for every homophobic prick on campus.”

“But why should any of that-”

“A lot of people don’t like the fact that I’m gay. They think it’s sick and disgusting and I’m going to burn in hell.” Adam says. “Not everyone is as accepting as you are, Kris. You have no idea how grateful I am that you aren’t afraid to be my friend and hang out with me and sleep in the same bed as me. Most straight guys don’t want to cuddle with another dude.”

 _Too bad I’m not that straight,_ Kris thinks.

“So you promise you won’t go hunting that guy down and try to beat him up?” Adam asks.

Kris contemplates it. “Well, if I see him around campus, I can’t help it if my foot accidentally trips him and he breaks his face on the ground.”

Adam grins at that, but then he ducks his head, glancing up at Kris with a little shy look on his face. “It’s kinda nice to know that you were willing to kick that guy’s ass for me.”

Actually, Kris would probably kill that guy if Adam wanted him to, but he keeps that small detail to himself.

-

Kris lies awake all night thinking about what happened. The initial anger he felt is gone, except for the small part of him that wants to rip the guy’s head off the next time he sees him. Now he’s thinking about what Adam had said, how some people think it’s sick that Adam likes boys, and that they think he’s going to hell.

He’s not completely naïve. Kris knows that people are homophobic and they feel that way; there are a lot of people at his church who think that being gay is a sin. Even before he realized his feelings for Adam, he thought that was stupid. God wouldn’t make someone gay if he thought it was wrong. There is nothing wrong with Adam, and he hates it that people think there is.

But now he’s realizing that people are going to think that there’s something wrong with him, too. If he gets with Adam, or maybe even another boy someday, there are going to be those who aren’t going to like it, and that scares Kris.

Falling in love with Adam was completely out of his control. How can someone hate him for that?

Kris carefully gets out of bed, trying not to wake Adam, and slowly tiptoes into his room. He sits on his bed for the first time in days. Somehow sleeping in Adam’s bed every night has become a routine. It started out just once or twice every couple of weeks, and then a couple of times a week, and now it’s every night. He never even has to think about which bed he’ll be sleeping in anymore.

Brad is snoring a little, spread out across his bed with his legs and arms hanging off the side. They haven’t really been talking much lately, and Kris really misses him as his roommate.

“Brad?” Kris whispers, and the snoring stops. “Are you awake?”

There’s a long pause. “No.”

“Brad?” he repeats.

No response.

He holds his breath and closes his eyes. “How did you know that you were gay?”

The room is eerily silent, and Kris’s lungs begin to burn so he finally lets himself take a breath. Maybe Brad is really asleep, or he just didn’t hear him.

“It’s Adam, isn’t it?” Brad asks, but it doesn’t even sound like a question.

“Yeah,” Kris whispers.

He hears Brad’s sheets ruffle as he sits up. “I thought so.”

A moment later Brad is in his bed, pulling the blankets over his lap and making himself comfortable. “You’re scared, aren’t you?”

Suddenly he’s glad to be talking to Brad about this, someone who knows what he’s going through. He also knows Adam better than anyone.

“A little bit,” Kris admits. “I wasn’t until that thing happened at Starbucks today. It made me realize that dating Adam isn’t going to be like when I was with Katy. People are going to-”

“Spit on you, call you a faggot, and tell you that you’re going to burn on hell,” Brad finishes, a sad smile on his lips. “Yeah… been there.” He reaches over and takes Kris’s hand between both of his. “You can’t let those people get to you, Kris. I’ve been dealing with that shit my whole life. People can tell I’m gay before they even meet me. I can tell you stories that would make you cry.”

Kris feels angry again. He wants to punch every single person that has ever hurt Brad and Adam. “How do you deal with it?”

His lips curl into a smile and his eyes get a little bit brighter. “I fucking love who I am. I wouldn’t change myself for anything in the world. If someone has a problem with the way I dress, or the way I talk, or who I have sex with, then they can fuck off.”

Kris doesn’t say anything. He just absorbs everything Brad is telling him. It’s making him feel a little better. Nobody’s opinion on who he loves should even matter. If being with Adam will make him happy, that’s what Kris wants.

“So, you love him?” Brad asks eventually.

Kris nods. “Yeah,” he says, “a lot.”

Brad squeezes his hand. “Honey, he’s going to take such good care of you,” he says with this dreamy look on his face. “You need to tell him, okay? I know it’s scary, but I promise you that he feels the same way.”

Kris looks up at him. “He does?”

“Adam has been stupidly in love with you since day one,” Brad says. “He never thought he’d have a chance with you, but now that he does… don’t make him wait anymore, because he will wait for as long as he has to.”

Kris thinks he’s done waiting, too.

* * *

Kris takes another skittle from the pack he and Adam are sharing. Adam only likes the purple, red, and orange ones, so he gives Kris all of the green and yellow.

Adam has an hour in between two of his finals so he begged Kris to come down and keep him company while he waits. He was still sleeping in Adam’s – their? – bed when Adam called, and even though he didn’t want to get up, it didn’t take long for Adam to convince him to. All it took was Adam saying, “But I don’t want to sit here all by myself,” for Kris to cave.

They are sitting at a picnic table outside the building Adam’s class is in and he’s on the phone with Danielle. He’s not really sure why Adam needed him to come down here if he’s just going to ignore him, but whatever. Adam has his foot in Kris’s lap and they have candy, so Kris is happy.

“Hey lovebirds,” Matt says as he jumps up on the table and puts his feet on the bench. Kris shoots him a glare. “Calm down. It’s not like he heard me.”

Kris and Adam have been the topic of discussion lately and now everybody knows. He doesn’t know if Allison or Brad told them, or if he really is that obvious. Kris doesn’t deny it to anyone that asks about it anymore, though. Tommy gave Kris his approval last night, but then threatened to kill him and dispose of his body if he even thinks about breaking Adam’s heart.

“What are you doing here?” Kris asks, reaching for another skittle.

Matt reaches for one, but Adam slaps his hand away. “Just finished my Spanish final.”

“How’d you do?”

Matt shrugs. “I dunno. I know I passed, but I don’t think I did much better than a B.”

“I’m sure you did fine.”

Adam drops his phone on the table and looks at Kris with an excited grin. “Guess what?”

Kris hopes this isn’t one of the times when Adam is actually going to make him guess. The last time that happened, Kris couldn’t figure it out and Adam forgot what he wanted to tell him in the first place. “What?”

“Danielle is coming here Friday night and then we’re going to drive back home together Saturday.”

“Who’s Danielle?” Matt asks.

“My best friend from San Diego.”

“Oh,” Matt says. “Is she hot?”

Kris and Adam roll their eyes. “Yes,” Adam says. “So don’t try anything with her.”

Matt frowns. “Why not?”

“Because she has good taste and wouldn’t want anything to do with you.”

Kris can’t help but laugh. Matt is an asshole most of the time, so he deserves to be put in his place once in a while. He doesn’t seem to be too offended by it, anyway.

“You’re a dick,” Matt tells him and hops off the table.

Adam blows him a kiss as he walks away. “Love you, too.”

Kris curls his fingers around Adam’s ankle and caresses the skin there with his thumb. “That’s awesome that she’s coming,” Kris says. “I can’t wait to meet her.”

Adam’s face lights up. “I can’t wait either. The three of us need to go out to dinner on Friday.”

“Sure,” he says. He only has one little problem with this. “So, is she staying in your room?”

No offense to Danielle, but there is no way that Kris is letting her take his spot in Adam’s bed during their last night together. He is even willing to chip in for a hotel if he needs to.

“We haven’t figured that out yet,” Adam says. “Tommy might be going home Thursday after his exam, so she can stay in his bed if he does. If not, she’ll probably stay in a hotel.”

Kris tries not to look relieved.

They finish their skittles and Adam has Kris ask him a few questions off of his study guide for his biology final. Kris knows that this is Adam’s worst subject and the only one he’s really struggling with, but he has been studying his ass off and Kris knows that he’s going to do well.

“This shit sucks,” Adam whines. “I want to be a performer. When I am ever going to--” he trails off and points at something over Kris’s shoulder.

Kris turns around and a girl is behind him. He thinks that she might be in one of his classes; the pink streaks in her hair look familiar.

“Hi, Kris?” she asks. “You’re in my history class, I think.”

That’s where he remembers her from. She sits a few rows ahead of him. “Yeah, hi,” he smiles politely.

She glances down at Adam’s foot in Kris’s lap and over at Adam before responding to Kris. Adam quickly lifts his foot off of Kris and scoots back a little, looking embarrassed. Kris wants to reach out and put it right back where it was, but that would just be weird.

“Um, I was just wondering what time the exam is tomorrow.”

“I think it’s at eleven,” Kris says. “You should probably double-check, though.”

“Oh, okay,” she says, hesitating a little. “Well, thanks anyway.”

When she walks away, Kris turns to Adam again. “She was totally flirting with you,” he says.

Kris furrows his brow, confused. “What?” Kris says. “She was not. I don’t even know her.”

“She was giving you the eyes,” Adam says, fluttering his eyelashes dramatically.

Adam is dumb. She wasn’t giving him the eyes. He would’ve noticed it if she was. “If she wanted to flirt with me, she had all semester to do it.”

“Whatever you say,” Adam says, and then pauses for a moment. “Do you ever think about it, though?”

“Think about what?”

“Dating again,” Adam says. “I don’t mean right now or anything, because I’m sure you’re not over Katy yet. But, you know, eventually finding a new girl.”

Kris’s heart sinks a little. He thought he was doing a pretty good job at letting Adam know that it’s _him_ that Kris wants, not another girl or Katy. Just Adam. He doesn’t know what else he has to do to get it across to him without, you know, actually telling him.

“Yeah,” Kris says, reaching up to play with the necklace Adam gave him. “There is someone that I’ve had my eye on for a while.”

Adam’s face falls, and that’s the last bit of confirmation that Kris needs to know if Adam is actually interested in him. “Oh,” he says, looking down at his hands instead of at Kris. “Do I know her?”

Kris takes a deep breath. This is no time for him to be afraid. “It’s a him.”

Adam looks up with a glint of hope in his eyes.

-

They have been studying for so long that Kris’s eyes are crossing every time he tries to read a page in his book. Adam is sprawled out next to him on the floor, drawing a little person on the top right hand corner of his notebook. He’s concentrating so hard on making sure the hair on his drawing is perfect.

“Who’s that supposed to be?” Kris asks, laying his hand Adam’s lower back for no reason other than because he can.

He reaches back to hand Kris the notebook. “It’s me.”

It’s pretty much a stick figure with out of control black hair and platform boots. Kris smiles down at Adam. “It’s cute.”

“I know,” Adam says, and snatches the notebook from Kris to continue doodling on it.

Kris sits there in the silence, leaning his head against Adam’s bed and drawing small circles on Adam’s back with his fingers. There has been a shift in their relationship ever since yesterday when he told Adam. It’s nothing major, probably nothing that anyone else would even notice, but Kris can feel it every time Adam’s hand lingers on his skin for just a moment longer than it used to. And Kris can’t stop touching him. Whenever Adam is in reach, Kris is always rubbing Adam’s back or has his hand on Adam’s thigh. He knows both of them are aware of it, but neither of them speak of it.

Kris watches Adam for a little while longer. His notebook fills with doodles of hearts, misshapen stars, and Kris is pretty sure he sees a little stick figure version of himself on there too.

He eventually stands up and starts to head towards the bathroom, but Adam grabs his ankle. “Where are you going?”

“I have to pee and I’m going to get my guitar.”

“Oh,” Adam says, letting go of his ankle. “Wash your hands.”

Kris chuckles. “Yes, mother.”

When he gets back to Adam’s room, he finds him lying on his bed, his hands resting on his stomach and his eyes closed. Kris crawls in and sits with his back against the wall and his legs draped over Adam’s. He starts playing a song that he knows Adam will recognize.

Adam’s face lights up immediately, his blue eyes shimmering up at Kris. “That’s my song.”

Kris plays it over and over while Adam hums the lyrics. He has played it for Adam so many times that Adam knows it by heart. Lately Kris has been thinking about writing a real song for Adam, ones with lyrics that actually let Adam know how he feels, and not just silly ones about glitter. He’s sure that he’ll have a lot of time during break to write one, or possibly a few. He senses many nights cooped up in his room with his guitar and his cell phone glued to his ear.

“You’re staring again,” Adam says, but the smile on his face makes Kris think that he doesn’t really mind.

Kris shrugs, he’s past the point of getting embarrassed. “I like staring at you.”

Adam doesn’t even bother hiding his grin or the blush creeping up his neck. He closes his eyes again and listens to Kris.

“You still need to teach me,” Adam says after a while, and this time, he is the one staring at Kris.

Kris rolls his eyes. Adam gets a random urge to want to learn how to play every couple of weeks and they never get anywhere. “That’s because you have the patience of a three year old.”

“Do not,” Adam pouts, pretty much proving Kris’s three year old statement.

Kris laughs and shakes his head. “Fine, c’mere.”

Kris spreads his legs and Adam crawls in between them and settles against Kris’s chest, placing the guitar in his lap. Kris takes one of Adam’s hands and places it on the neck of the guitar, and holds the other for them to strum it.

“You know,” Kris starts, positioning Adam’s fingers, “I’m beginning to think that you only do this for an excuse to cuddle with me.”

Adam glances at him over his shoulder. “When have I ever needed an excuse to cuddle with you?”

He has a point.

Kris rests his chin on Adam’s shoulder and they mess around with the guitar for a while. Most of it sounds awful, but every time they hit a note, Adam’s face lights up.

“Teach me a Christmas song,” Adam says. “I have to get in the holiday spirit.”

Kris raises an eyebrow. “You don’t even celebrate Christmas.”

Adam sits up a little to look at Kris. “Do you know any Hanukkah songs?”

Kris thinks about it. “No.”

Adam settles against his chest again. “Exactly.”

Kris starts playing ‘Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas’ and Adam just listens. He leans the side of his head against Kris’s and closes his eyes. Kris wonders if Adam can feel his heart against his back because right now it feels like it’s going to beat right out of his chest. Adam joins in towards the end of the song, his voice nothing but a whisper. Kris realizes that they’ve never sang together before, besides karaoke, and he thinks that it’s his new favorite thing in the entire world.

“I like your voice,” Adam says when Kris finishes the song. He takes the guitar out of their laps and places it next to them on the bed. “You’re going to be a rock star someday.”

Kris snorts, his arms winding around Adam’s stomach. “Yeah, right. If either of us is going to be a rock star, it will be you.”

Adam picks up one of Kris’s hands and starts playing with it, tickling and tracing Kris’s fingers with his own. Kris watches the black nails travel along all the ridges and curves of his hand. It makes his whole body tingle.

“We can be in a boy band together,” Adam says, not taking his eyes off of their hands.

Kris smiles. “Like the Backstreet Boys?”

He can feel Adam’s body shake a little as he laughs. “Oh god, imagine us as Backstreet Boys?”

“We can get Brad and Tommy to join. It’ll be awesome.”

Adam drops his head back on Kris’s shoulder so he can look at him. “And all of the groupies will be throwing themselves at you.”

Kris isn’t sure where he gets the nerve, but in one swift movement, he laces their fingers together. “Sucks for them,” Kris whispers. “They’re not my type.”

Adam freezes in his arms. Kris thinks he did something wrong and is about to pull his hand away when Adam finally squeezes back. Adam stares at him and Kris prays that the look in his eyes tells Adam everything that he has been too afraid to say out loud.

They are both breathing heavily and Adam’s eyes are wide. He can’t figure out what the look on Adam’s face means – scared? hopeful? – but for the first time since all of this started, Kris feels like they both might be on the same page. It’s finally starting to feel real.

“Don’t mind me. Just continue with whatever it is you’re doing.”

Adam and Kris let go of each other’s hands like they are on fire. Tommy watches them with amusement as Adam crawls over to the other side of the bed, both with a similar blush on their faces.

Kris wants to hit Tommy with his guitar. Repeatedly. Until he starts to cry.

Tommy lounges on his bed and puts on his iPod. Kris is pretty sure he hears him mumble, “It’s about fucking time.”

-

When Kris fills in the last circle on his exam, he smiles to himself. He’s finally done. For the next month he can turn off his brain and not think about anything but Adam and music. He can’t wait.

“Have a good break,” his professor says when Kris puts the exam on his desk.

Kris smiles. “You too.”

He closes the classroom door quietly behind him when he steps out. Kris turns around and Adam is sitting on the windowsill with two Starbucks cups in his hands.

“I was beginning to think I had the wrong classroom,” Adam smiles shyly at Kris, taking a few steps closer.

Kris feels a swarm of butterflies in his stomach. “What are you doing here?”

Adam looks down at the cups in his hands. “I said that I’d pay next time, so…” he says. “I got you hot chocolate.”

Their fingers touch as Kris takes the cup from Adam.

“It might not be that hot,” Adam says. “I have been waiting here for a while.”

Kris takes a sip and it’s still a little warm. “It’s perfect.”

They walk slowly down the deserted hallway, quietly sipping their drinks. This moment feels awkward and exciting all at the same time. It’s everything that fuzzy stage between friendship and relationship is supposed to feel like. Kris never wants it to end.

“You should stay with me,” Kris says abruptly.

Adam stops walking. “What do you mean?”

Kris doesn’t even know why he said it. The words left his mouth before he even realized that he was saying. Of course he has thought about having Adam come home with him for break, but he never even considered talking to Adam about it. He’s kept it as a little fantasy stowed away in his head for the past couple of weeks.

“For break,” Kris says. “I mean, not the whole time. But, you know… maybe for a week or two. If you want to, that is. I haven’t even talked to my parents about it and you’d have to ask yours but--”

Adam cuts him off. “I’d love to.”

Kris’s face breaks out in a smile. “Really?”

Adam nods, the smile on his face is beaming.

“Cool,” he says, trying to sound casual. “We’ll have to ask our parents first.”

“Yeah, definitely,” Adam says.

They continue walking down the empty hallway and a moment later, Adam slips his hand in Kris’s and tangles their fingers together.

* * *

Adam and Cale are playing Rock Band and Kris watches the notes scroll by quickly on the screen. Adam is struggling with his settings on medium while Cale is on expert and not missing a single one. Kris can hear Adam swear under his breath every time he messes up. He was singing earlier – and kicking both Kris and Cale’s asses by getting 100 percent each song – until Brad came in and told him to shut the fuck up because he’s trying to nap, so Adam took Kris’s guitar.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Adam says, panicking when his little guitar icon on the side starts getting lower and lower, and his side of the screen is flashing red. He turns to look at Kris for a split second. “Help!”

Kris takes the guitar from him and is able to get it to stop flashing red after a few seconds, and the icon on the side starts going up. The song ends shortly after and they still managed to get a 72 percent.

“That’s not fair,” Cale complains, despite the fact that he almost got a perfect score. “I don’t have a boyfriend to help me out when I screw up.”

Kris glances over nervously at Adam, who is still staring straight ahead at the television. He wouldn’t consider them boyfriends; they haven’t even kissed yet, even though Kris thinks about it constantly. Kris wonders what it will feel like, if it will be different than kissing Katy. He wants to know how Adam’s mouth tastes. There have been a couple of times when it’s just the two of them and Kris thought, _why not now?_ But then someone would walk in the room, or Adam would start talking about something and he’d lose his nerve.

The hand holding is nice. Kris loves the way Adam’s face lights up whenever he laces their fingers together. Last night they all went to the movies and they tried to keep their hands hidden between them on the seat, but Matt noticed and practically announced it to the rest of the theater. When the movie was over, Kris is pretty sure he saw Brad collect money from the rest of them.

“One more song,” Cale says, scrolling through the list.

Halfway through, Adam’s phone goes off on his nightstand. “Can you get that?” he asks Kris without taking his eyes off the screen.

Kris crawls over and grabs Adam’s phone. “It’s Danielle,” he tells him. “What me to answer it?”

Adam seems to be hypnotized by the game because he doesn’t respond. He answers the phone anyway and Danielle tells him that she’ll be there in a couple of minutes and she can’t wait to meet him. Kris is nervous about meeting her. He knows that her opinion of him will matter a lot to Adam.

“That was Danielle,” Kris says. “She said she’d be here in a few minutes. I told her you’d meet her downstairs.”

Adam hears him that time. He lets out an excited little noise and starts pressing random buttons on the guitar. “How do you pause this thing?”

Cale pauses the game and Adam gets up to put some shoes on. He turns to Kris, “You coming with me?”

“Yeah, sure,” Kris says, and then looks at Cale. “We’ll be back.”

“I’ll be here.”

When Kris closes the door and turns around, Adam already has his hand held out for Kris to take.

“So, did you ask your mom about coming to Arkansas during break?” Kris asks as they walk to the elevator.

“Yeah, she said that she’d think about it, but that usually means no,” Adam says, sounding irritated. “It’s so stupid because it’s not even about the cost of the ticket. She’s just worried about me flying across the country. I turn twenty next month. You’d think she’d stop treating me like I’m twelve.”

They step in the elevator and Kris presses the button to go to the first floor.

“My mom is like that, too. She hates it when me and Daniel fly somewhere without her,” Kris says. “But if she doesn’t want you to come, it’s not that big of a deal, I guess. A month isn’t--”

“No,” Adam cuts him off, giving Kris’s hand a quick squeeze. “I’m going to come. It just might take a little persuading, which I am great at.”

Good, Kris thinks, because he was just lying through his teeth. It would suck going an entire month without getting to see Adam.

They get outside and Danielle isn’t there yet. It’s a little chilly out and Kris wishes he wore a jacket. He stuffs the hand that’s not holding Adam’s in his pocket and shivers. Adam notices and lets go of his hand so he can stand in front of Kris and rub his hands up and down Kris’s arms in an attempt to warm him up. Kris steps forward and buries his face in Adam’s chest, and Adam winds his arms around Kris to pull him even closer.

“Warm?” Adam asks, his mouth close to Kris’s ear.

Kris nods, his cheek nestled against Adam’s shirt. He is starting to like this, being with someone who is bigger than he is. It’s nice to have something to hold on to and snuggle up against. Someone that will keep him warm and make him feel safe.

They stay like that until Danielle’s car pulls up to a parking spot, then Adam lets go of Kris to open the door for her. When they hug, he lifts her up off of the ground and shakes her a little.

“I’m so happy you’re here,” Adam says when they pull apart.

Danielle smiles brightly up at Adam. Kris can see it in their faces that they absolutely adore each other. “I know, me too,” she says. “The ride here is such a bitch, though. I don’t want to do it again tomorrow.”

Kris tries to stand back and not interrupt them, but he catches Danielle looking at him curiously over Adam’s shoulder. Adam seems to notice as well because he turns to Kris and waves him over. “This is Kris, by the way.”

She eyes Kris up and down without any shame at all and then grins at Adam. “He’s fucking cute,” she says. “Your taste has improved.”

If looks could kill, Adam would’ve murdered Danielle just then. Kris just chuckles. “Thanks, I guess.”

Danielle nods approvingly. “And an accent,” she says. “Now I get why Adam always talks about you.”

Kris perks up a little. “He talks about me?”

“All the time,” she says to Kris, but she’s looking at Adam with a teasing smile on her lips. Adam has his jaw clenched and his eyes are wide, so Danielle tries to push him a little bit further. “He always says how adorable you are.”

Kris grins and reaches over to touch Adam’s side. “You think I’m adorable?”

Adam shakes his head, a stern look on his face that looks silly with his messy hair and smudged makeup. “No. You’re ugly and I hate you,” he says, and turns to Danielle, “ _both_ of you.”

Danielle and Kris look at each other and start cracking up.

-

Adam and Danielle are talking on Adam’s bed while Kris plays Rock Band with Cale on the floor. His attention is focused more on eavesdropping on Adam and Danielle’s conversation, so he keeps messing up in the game. They are mostly just talking about people they went to high school with. Apparently, a girl they knew is heavily into drugs now and got pregnant by some 40 year old. “But she was always such a sweet girl,” Adam says when Danielle tells him.

“Dude, you suck,” Cale tells him when the song finishes.

Kris looks at his score and cringes. He stops listening in on their conversation. It’s probably a rude thing to do, anyway. A few songs later, Adam crawls to the foot of the bed where Kris is leaning against.

“We’re hungry,” Adam tells him.

Kris glances at him over his shoulder. “Okay?”

“We want to go out to dinner and you’re coming with us.”

“Let me finish this song first,” Kris says.

Adam stays where he is and starts lazily running his nails up and down the back of Kris’s neck. It causes Kris to shiver and miss three notes. The song ends and Kris tilts his head back against the bed, his face mere inches from Adam’s. He lowers his voice so only Adam can hear him, “You’re distracting.”

Adam smirks and combs his fingers through Kris’s hair. “Now you know how I feel.”

But then his eyes grow softer, a little timid, like he’s not sure if he should have said that. He knows it’s not the right time or place, but he wants to tell Adam that it’s okay to say what’s on his mind, and confess how he feels. Adam needs to know that there is nothing he could do or say that would ever scare Kris away.

He rests his hand over the one Adam has buried in his hair, and turns his head a little to kiss Adam’s palm.

-

Cale couldn’t come to dinner with them because he hasn’t even started packing, so Kris was nervous that he might feel like the third wheel to Danielle and Adam. Now that they are here, laughing and talking, it’s anything but that. They make Kris feel like he’s always been a part of their friendship. Danielle tells him stories about Adam that make Kris tear up from laughing so hard, all while Adam sits there with his face buried in his hands.

Kris feels a little jealous of Danielle. She has so many memories with Adam, years of different experiences throughout middle and high school. It makes Kris feel like he has been missing out on something. He knows it’s ridiculous; they didn’t even know each other back then. Nonetheless, he still wishes he could’ve shared those experiences with Adam, he wishes he could’ve been there.

He thinks about what it would’ve been like if they went to high school together. Adam is unlike anyone else that he knows in Arkansas, so Kris doesn’t know if they would’ve met even if they did go to the same school. Kris feels a little ashamed of himself for that, knowing that he probably never would’ve approached the over the top theater kid with strawberry blond hair and freckles. But what if he did, though. What if somehow they met and became the best friends that they are now. Kris wonders if he still would’ve fallen in love with Adam.

“You’re quiet,” Adam says, reaching across the table to touch the back of Kris's hand.

Kris pulls himself out of his little fantasy land and smiles at Adam. “Sorry, I was just thinking.”

Danielle takes another bite of her salad and goes on about what the two of them were talking about whenever Kris wasn’t paying attention. “Seriously, Kris,” she says. “You should’ve seen some of the performances he did,” she drops her fork and flails her hands a little, “they were _insane_. He was like the only one of us to ever get a standing ovation.”

Kris feels an overwhelming sense of pride when Danielle tells him that. It’s just the fact that he _knows_ Adam, he gets to share a bed with him, hold his hand, and hopefully someday soon be Adam’s boyfriend. Adam deserves every bit of praise he has ever received for his talent. Kris would give anything to see those performances, to see Adam sing and dance, all of the things Kris knows Adam does best.

“I don’t doubt it,” Kris says. “His voice is incredible.”

Adam’s eyes flicker up and meet Kris’s for a brief moment before he turns to Danielle. “You should hear Kris,” Adam says. “He has such a beautiful voice.”

“Adam told me that you wrote him a song,” she grins. “That’s so cute. You have to play it for me tonight. I wanna hear it.”

Kris wants to say no, but he’s afraid of coming off as an asshole. He just hates singing for other people. It’s difficult enough for him to sing for Adam. “Alright, just remind me when we get back to the room.”

He’s dreading it already.

The conversation dies down a bit as they eat the rest of their food. Kris finishes his burger before Adam and Danielle are done with their salads, so he starts stealing Adam’s croutons from his plate. Eventually Adam just pushes his whole plate over to Kris and lets him eat the rest of it.

“I’ve got to pee,” Adam says as he gets up and throws his napkin on the table. He shoots a glare at Danielle. “No telling embarrassing stories while I’m gone.”

Kris watches him walk away until Adam disappears behind the men’s room door. When he turns back to Danielle, he’s taken back by the way she’s staring at him. She looks so curious, like she’s studying him, trying to figure him out.

“You make him happy,” Danielle says.

Kris doesn’t really know how to respond to that. “I do?”

She nods, a dreamy smile on her face. “I’ve never seen him like this before.”

“That’s good, right?” Kris asks, a little hesitant and unsure.

She takes a sip of her drink before she continues. “You have no idea how long he’s wanted this,” she says. “For as long as I’ve known Adam, all he has ever wanted is to be in love. Ever since we were kids, that’s what he always told me he wanted more than anything. I always thought it was silly, but that’s just who Adam is. But every time he’d go after someone, he’d get his heart broken.” Kris can see the pain in her eyes as she talks about it. It’s as if it hurts her just as much as it hurts Adam. “I feel like it’s different with you… that you won’t hurt him.”

Kris swallows thickly. He can’t even think about hurting Adam. “I would never.”

She rests her chin on her hand. “I remember the first time he mentioned you,” she says. “It was a couple of days after the semester started and he called me up and said that he was in trouble,” she rolls her eyes. “I automatically knew it had to do with a guy. He told me about this boy in the room next to his – he said that you were gorgeous and totally his type. Right then he knew he was going to fall for you, and he was scared because you were straight and he didn’t think you’d ever feel the same.”

Kris wishes he had known since the beginning. He has always felt something for Adam, even if he didn’t know what it was for the longest time. There just seems to be so much time wasted between them. They could’ve spent the past few weeks together and happy, but instead they have spent it in fear of admitting their feelings.

“When you two started getting really close, I told him to take a step back because I thought he was going to end up hurt. He didn’t listen to me and he wanted to take what he could get, even if it was only friendship. But now that I see you two together, I realize that it’s different with you. It’s okay for him to be in love with you.”

He just stares at her, at a complete loss for words.

“You love him,” she says simply.

He takes a deep breath. “Yeah.”

Danielle sighs happily and smiles.

-

On the drive back, Kris would give anything for Danielle not to be there. He needs to talk to Adam, he wants to before they leave tomorrow. He wants to be alone with Adam, to finally tell him what he’s been too afraid of, to be able to kiss and touch him, to do everything he’s been waiting weeks to do.

They get to their floor and the hallway is packed with students. Everyone has their door open and people are going in and out, and there is a lingering stench of vomit. Kris figures that everyone is letting loose on the last day. Even he could use a drink or two… or three.

“Hey, Adam!” A voice down the hall calls out, and all three of them turn around. Kris sees a head of blond bobbing through the chaos in the hallway. Kris recognizes him from last week when he was talking to Adam in the hall – Justin, or something.

“Crazy, huh?” he says when he gets close enough to them.

Adam chuckles. “Yeah, a little bit. I doubt there will be any alcohol left on campus by morning.”

“My roommate is already passed out and it’s not even eight o’clock yet.”

Kris looks up to see that Justin staring at him.

“Oh, you’ve met Kris, right?” Adam asks. “And this is Danielle. She’s staying tonight and we’re driving home together tomorrow.”

“It’s good to see you again,” Justin says to Kris.

Kris smiles politely.

“So, do you have anything planned tonight?” Adam asks Justin, finally getting his attention away from Kris. “I think Brad is inviting a few people to our room, if you want to stop by.”

Justin grins. “That would be awesome.”

“Alright, then I guess we’ll see you later,” Adam says, and leads Kris and Danielle down the hallway.

Kris hears Justin yell goodbye from behind them.

Allison, Cale, and a couple other people Kris doesn’t know are already in their room with red cups in their hands. All Brad has been able to talk about this week is that the 21 year old he slept with will be able to buy them alcohol whenever they want. By the assortment of bottles on Brad’s nightstand, Kris guesses that the guy pulled through.

“You’re back!” Brad exclaims, stumbling over to them. “Here, here, here, have a drink.”

He makes a drink for each of them and hands three cups over to them. Kris smells it before taking a sip and it’s strong. Adam, Danielle, and Kris clink their cups together and down them in one gulp. Kris’s throat burns, but he doesn’t stop Brad from refilling his cup.

-

An indefinite amount of time later, Kris is huddled in the corner of his bed with Adam, and Danielle is splayed across their laps. Adam has his nose buried in Kris’s hair and his lips are pressed right above his ear. Right now would be perfect, the perfect time to tilt his head up a little and capture Adam’s lips with his own... except for the fact that ten or so people are in his room right now. He always imagines their first kiss being in private, nobody there but themselves. That way he’d be able to take his time with Adam. Nobody would be there to interrupt.

“Mmm,” Adam mumbles. “You smell nice.”

Kris’s head falls back so he can look at Adam. His hair is a mess on his forehead, his eyes are dark, his breath smells like alcohol. Kris bets he tastes delicious. He’s pretty sure he’s never wanted anything more in his entire life.

The alcohol makes him fearless. Kris’s hand travels up to Adam’s neck and he pulls his head down a little to whisper in his ear. “I want to be alone with you.”

Adam pulls back, his gaze is intense. Kris is sure that nobody has ever looked at him like that before. He dips his head down, his breath is hot against Kris’s ear and he can feel it all the way down to his toes. “Later.”

Kris doesn’t want to wait for later, he wants it _now_. But, the way Adam is looking at him, he is sure that Adam has every intention of going through with that promise.

A few minutes pass and Danielle pushes herself up from their laps and looks around blearily, like she isn’t sure of where she is. “I need a cigarette.”

Adam leans over to pet her hair. “You have to go outside to smoke.”

She clicks her tongue. “That’s bullshit,” she says. “Come with me.”

“Hell no,” Adam protests, burying his face in Kris’s shoulder. “Comfy.”

Danielle pokes out her bottom lip in a pout. “Please,” she begs. “I need one really bad and I don’t want to go by myself.”

Adam looks at Kris and whimpers. “But…”

Kris reaches up to touch his face; his skin is hot against Kris’s fingertips. “I’ll be here when you get back.”

Adam groans and moves to get off the bed. “Fine.”

He watches Adam and Danielle weave through the people cramped in the small room. Kris really wants them to leave. There are too many people and he’s starting to get hot, and he’s ready for it to be _later_ right now.

Kris closes his eyes and rests his head against the wall. All of the drinks he’s had are starting to get to him. He’s about to doze off when he feels the bed dip down. Expecting it to be Adam, Kris opens his eyes. But, instead of Adam sitting there, it’s Justin. Disappointment washes over Kris.

“Hey,” Justin says.

Kris blinks. “Hi.”

“How’s it going?”

Kris really isn’t in the mood for small talk. He doesn’t even remember when Justin showed up.

“Good.”

Justin nods. Kris can tell he’s not the only one who finds this conversation awkward. “So… can I get you a drink or something?”

Kris shakes his head. “Nope, I’m good.”

Justin’s shoulders sink and he sighs. Kris doesn’t understand what he’s doing. He doesn’t think he’s very subtle with his efforts to get Justin to go away.

“So, you and Adam…” Just says.

“…me and Adam, what?”

Justin bites his lip. “Are you guys, like, together?”

Kris feels that jealous feeling bubbling up inside of him. “No.”

Justin perks up at that. “Really?”

Kris scowls. “Not _yet_ ,” he says, “but we will be. So, don’t even try it. Adam’s mine.”

Justin snorts and shakes his head. “Adam’s not the reason I’m asking. He’s not my type.”

“Oh…” Kris says. “Then what--”

He’s cut off by Justin’s mouth against his. Kris doesn’t do anything at first, too stunned to kiss back. It feels weird, Justin’s mouth is bigger than Katy’s was, and his lips aren’t as soft. But then he thinks, _so, this is what it’s like to kiss a dude._ Kris starts kissing back, parting his lips for Justin’s tongue. It’s not horrible, and Justin tastes good, like beer and a little like cherries. He wonders if this is what it’s going to be like to kiss Adam. Probably not, Kris thinks. Adam has softer lips.

“Kris,” someone says from behind him, but Kris ignores them. “Kris!” They say again, and this time they hit him on the shoulder.

This time, he pulls back from Justin. “What?”

The room is dead silent, everybody staring at him. He doesn’t understand why at first, but then he sees him. Adam is standing in the doorway of his room, staring at him. Kris feels his heart fall to the pit of his chest, and he pushes Justin away. He hadn’t even realized what he was doing, he didn’t even think…

“Adam…” Kris breathes.

There is a crippling sadness on Adam’s face that makes Kris want to rip his heart right out of his chest. Adam is hurt, and it’s all Kris’s fault. It pains Kris to see that look on Adam’s face. He promised Danielle that he would never hurt Adam, and just a couple of hours later, Kris has already broken that promise.

Beside Adam, Danielle reaches up to touch Adam’s shoulder gently. Adam looks down at her, a broken smile on his lips. Adam glances over at Kris for another lingering moment before heading into the bathroom; Danelle and Brad follow and shut the door behind them.

Kris crawls out of the bed. Justin reaches for him, but he smacks his hand away. “Don’t touch me,” Kris demands. He walks over to the door and reaches for the doorknob, but then he hears their voices from the bathroom. Kris steps forward and presses his ear against the wooden door to listen.

“You know how I feel about him,” he hears Adam say. It doesn’t sound like Adam is crying, he just sounds heartbroken.

“We know, sweetie,” Danielle says.

“I thought that he was finally starting to feel that way about me.”

“He does feel that way about you,” Brad says.

“Then why was he kissing Justin?” Adam asks. “I was gone for five fucking minutes.”

Brad continues. “I’m not making excuses for him, because I honestly have no idea why he did that. But, look at it from his point of view, Adam. His entire life he thought he was this one person. He had the perfect girlfriend and the perfect little life, and then he moves here and it all changes. He fell in love with a boy. You know how scary that is,” Brad says. “He was probably just testing out the water.”

“Not all kisses mean something,” Danielle says. “Kris is really drunk right now. He probably didn’t even realize what he was doing.”

“I know, it’s just…” his voice cracks a little. “I want to be the boy he kisses and figures everything out with, not Justin.”

“Adam, he loves you so much,” Brad says. “I don’t know if you know this, but he and Katy broke up because of you. He realized that it was you that he wanted to be with, not her. So, please just talk to him. He’s probably killing himself right now for hurting you.”

Kris stops listening. He sinks to the floor and rubs his face with his hands. How could he fuck this up so quickly? Five seconds of sheer stupidity may have cost him Adam. He didn’t even realize what he was doing when he was kissing Justin, he wasn’t thinking. If he could, he’d go back in a heartbeat. He would’ve went outside with Danielle and Adam, and then the later that Adam had promised him would come and he would be able to kiss Adam. But now, Adam probably doesn’t even want to look at him.

Allison sits down next to Kris, wrapping her arm around his shoulders to pull him in a hug. “He’ll get over it.”

Kris hopes so. “What if he doesn’t?”

“Oh, please,” she says. “He’s way too in love with you to let a stupid little kiss get in the way. I saw the whole thing and it really wasn’t that bad. Tomorrow when you guys are sober, you can talk it out.”

That doesn’t make Kris feel any better. Tomorrow is all they have.

Brad walks out of the bathroom a few minutes later and looks down at Kris. There is anger in his eyes. “If you break his heart, I will fucking kill you.”

“What if he breaks mine?”

“He won’t.”

Brad says it like he’s never been so sure of anything in his entire life.

* * *

Kris wakes up feeling nauseous and his head is throbbing. He has no idea what time it is, his eyelids are too heavy, and moving really doesn’t seem like a plausible option right now.

Despite his body’s aches and protests, he shifts a little and reaches for Adam. If he has to suffer through a hangover, he at least wants something warm to cuddle. But, as his fingers come in contact with the cold sheets, he realizes that Adam’s not there. Kris forces his eyelids open just enough to see through the slits. It’s still dark and it takes him a moment to see that he isn’t even in Adam’s room, he’s in his own.

He closes his eyes again and tries to push back the nauseous feeling gnawing at his stomach. Memories from last night start flooding back a little. He remembers curling up against his pillow and Allison petting his hair. He remembers snuggling up with Adam and Danielle on his bed. He remembers Adam’s friend Justin showing up, and--

Kris’s eyes shoot open as he recollects that memory. He can vaguely remember the touch of Justin’s lips against his own, and Adam’s face when he saw that kiss. The way Adam’s voice sounded so broken whenever Kris overheard him talking in the bathroom. It makes Kris feel a pain in his gut that is so overwhelming that he forgets about his headache and the queasiness in his stomach.

Thinking about it feels like a dream. The memory is so hazy that Kris isn’t even sure if it’s not just a dream. He can’t even fathom what made him do it, what made him kiss Justin. It’s not like he’s attracted to Justin; Kris couldn’t care less about the guy. But, for whatever reason he did it, he hurt Adam in the process, and that’s killing him. They were getting far, finally about to take that last tiny step in their relationship, and Kris may have ruined it.

Kris curls up in the fetal position on his bed, clutching his stomach. He has had hangovers before, plenty of them ever since he moved here, but none of them have been this bad. It feels like he’s dying. Whatever he drank last night, he never wants to drink again.

He slowly slides out of bed and staggers into the bathroom, feeling around for the light switch. Once the light is on, Kris falls to his knees on the tile floor and leans over the toilet. Kris hates throwing up; it’s one of the worst feelings in the world.

After he empties out all of the contents in his stomach, he slumps against the wall. He feels drained, and it will take way too much effort to travel all the way back to his bed. For a while he just sits there and waits, either to gain more energy so he can get up, or in hopes that someone will come in and carry him back to bed.

The door to Adam’s room opens, and Kris sees his silhouette in the doorway. “What the--”

Kris flinches, waiting for the door to slam. It doesn’t, though. Instead he hears Adam’s bare feet against the tile and the warmth of Adam’s fingers as they brush against his cheek.

“What the fuck, Kris?”

Kris keeps his eyes closed. “I think I drank too much.”

Adam sighs, and Kris thinks he may even hear a smile in Adam’s voice. “No shit.”

He listens to Adam puttering around the bathroom for a minute, cleaning up after him. Kris lets his eyes fall open and he watches him. Adam’s eyes are sleepy and he grimaces as he flushes the toilet. Kris can’t believe that Adam is taking care of him right now, even after what Kris had done. It makes Kris think that maybe he didn’t screw everything up so bad after all.

“Come on,” Adam says, his hands held out for Kris to take. “We need to get you back to bed.”

Kris takes his hands, but doesn’t make any movement to get up. He pulls Adam down a little so that he’s kneeling in front of Kris.

“I’m sorry,” Kris whispers.

The brave face Adam had on crumbles, and Kris can see the pain in his eyes. He can practically see the memories from last night come rushing back to Adam. His eyes are wide and shining, looking at Kris like he’s scared and unsure of how he’s supposed to feel. Kris wants to tell him that it’s okay, that Adam can trust him.

“Let’s not talk about that now,” Adam says, tearing his eyes away from Kris’s. “You need to get some more sleep before your flight.”

Kris lets Adam help him up this time and together they stumble into Kris’s room and Adam deposits Kris on the bed. “I’ll be right back, okay?” Adam says. “I’m just going to get you some water.”

As Adam walks away, Kris slips under his covers and pulls them up to his chin. Adam is back not even a minute later with a bottle of water for Kris.

“You need anything else?” Adam asks, sitting down on the edge of Kris’s bed.

Kris looks up at him, Adam’s face full of worry and concern. It makes Kris’s heart swell in his chest. To see someone who cares so much about him that they are willing to put their feelings to the side to make sure that Kris is okay.

“Thank you for taking care of me,” Kris says quietly. “I know you probably hate me right now.”

Adam gives him a weak smile. He reaches down to brush his thumb along the slight stubble on Kris’s cheek. “I don’t think I could ever hate you.”

When Adam makes a move to get up, Kris grabs his hand. “Stay.”

Adam’s eyes fall to their entwined fingers, looking torn. Kris wants nothing more than to pull Adam into his bed and hold him until they melt together. That way Adam would have no choice but to eventually forgive him.

Kris’s heart shatters when Adam pulls his hand out of Kris’s grip and stands up. His gaze strays away from Kris’s. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

Adam walks over to the door, turning around one last time before he closes it behind him.

-

It still hurts when he wakes up again a couple of hours later, his head, his stomach, and the ache in his chest whenever the images from last night come back to him just moments after he gains consciousness.

“You’re up!” Brad exclaims. Kris blinks his eyes open to see Brad standing next to his bed. “I was just about to wake you. Adam said you guys have to leave in twenty minutes.”

Kris groans. The last thing in the world he wants to be doing today is flying across the country. He feels like staying in bed for the rest of the day to sleep and wake up once in a while to stuff his face with delicious, greasy hangover food.

“What did you make me drink last night?” Kris asks, his voice raspy and dry. He vaguely remembers Adam giving him a water bottle earlier, but he can’t find it. “I feel like dying.”

Brad sits down next to Kris on the bed and touches his fingers to Kris’s forehead. “Poor, baby,” he coos. “Kristopher can’t handle his alcohol.”

He bats Brad’s hand away and snuggles even deeper into the sheets. “I hate you.”

Brad chuckles. “I know you do, sweetie.”

Kris thinks the conversation is over, so he shifts to his side and his eyelids start to get heavy. He figures that he can get at least ten more minutes of sleep before he has to get out of bed.

“I talked to Adam,” Brad says, still perched on the edge of Kris’s bed, his hands folded in his lap. By the look on his face, Kris thinks that Brad has been dying to have this conversation with him all morning.

Any thoughts of sleep completely vanish. “What did he say?”

Brad picks at his nails, acting as if he’s completely uninterested with the entire situation, even though Kris knows he’s itching to talk about it. “Nothing really,” he says. “He’s still a little upset about what happened last night.”

Kris lets out a frustrated sigh, covering his face with his hands. “How can one stupid kiss mess everything up so much?”

“Because you guys are in love with each other, and when you see the person you are in love with kissing someone else, it feels like someone just stabbed you in the heart.”

Kris peers up at Brad, noticing that there is some pain showing in Brad’s eyes. He wonders if this has ever happened to Brad before, if he has ever been in love like this.

“How do you think you’d feel if the situation was reversed?” Brad asks. “If you walked in on Adam kissing Justin.”

The image appears in Kris’s head. It’s of Adam and Justin in the hallway like he saw them last week, but instead of them just talking to each other like they had, Kris imagines Adam leaning forward to capture Justin’s mouth in a kiss. He imagines Justin’s hands on Adam’s hips and Adam cupping Justin’s face as he kisses him.

Brad is right. It does feel like someone stabbing him in the heart.

“Do you think he’ll forgive me?”

That’s all Kris can hope for. It happened, and now it’s over. There is nothing else he can do but try to fix it.

Brad rolls his eyes. “Of course he will,” he says. “You just need to talk to him. Tell him _everything_. Don’t give me that ‘I’m scared’ bullshit anymore. If you really want him, you’re going to have to work for it.”

“I know, I know,” Kris says, but he’s not even scared. He’s anxious, he’s ready. They’ve been putting it off for way too long. “I’ll talk to him on the way to the airport.”

Brad’s face breaks out into a smile, looking satisfied. “Good,” he says. “Now, scoot over. I want a few minutes of cuddle time with my roomie before you leave me for a month.”

Kris moves over to make room for him. Brad rests his head on Kris’s chest and wraps his arm tight around Kris’s stomach. He’s going to miss this, his little talks with Brad. They have only known each other for a few months, but Kris feels closer to him than most of his friends that he has known since elementary school. Brad gets him, he listens to him, and he’s not afraid to call him out on his shit. There is no doubt in Kris’s mind that they’ll be friends for the rest of their lives.

“I remember when you first came here,” Brad mumbles against Kris’s chest, laughter in his voice. “You walked in with your atrocious baggy clothing and pictures of you with your pretty little girlfriend. You seemed so out of place with the rest of us.”

Kris thinks about what it was like back then, before he considered Los Angeles his home, before these people became his best friends, before he fell in love with Adam.

“That feels like a million years ago.”

Brad pinches his side. “Now look at you!” he grins. “You dumped your girlfriend, and you get drunk and make out with boys.”

Kris stifles a laugh. “That’s a great way of putting it.”

“I’m just kidding.” Brad squeezes Kris even tighter. “Make sure you call me once in a while, okay?” he asks. “I don’t want to go a month without hearing from you.”

“I’ll call,” Kris says. “I promise.”

“You better,” Brad warns, “or I’ll kick your ass if you don’t.”

-

The door into Adam’s room is closed and Kris doesn’t know if he should knock or just walk in. It’s been months since he has felt the need to knock; he made a habit of just walking in after the first week or so. He stares at the wooden door in front of him, eventually deciding on just walking in.

First he sees Danielle lying on her back on Adam’s bed, holding an issue of Cosmo above her head as she reads. Adam is at the mirror with his back towards Kris, carefully lining his bottom eyelid with black eyeliner. Kris just watches him for a moment, trying to force his heart to calm down a little. His hair is done up perfectly, blue and black strands swept to the side of his forehead. Adam’s lips are made up in a shiny, pink gloss, hiding the freckles underneath.

Kris must’ve made an involuntary noise because both Adam and Danielle turn to look at him at the same time. He shuffles awkwardly on his feet and smiles shyly up at Adam.

“Uh,” he mutters, “I was wondering if you are still going to take me to the airport. If not I can-”

“No, it’s fine,” he cuts Kris off. “I’ll take you.”

Danielle rolls off the bed and walks over to Kris with her arms held open for a hug. “It was so good to finally meet you.”

He wraps his arms around her. “You too.”

“You’re not coming with us?” Adam asks from behind Danielle. “I was thinking we could leave from the airport.”

Danielle is still facing Kris when her eyebrows shoot up and she cringes a little, like she hasn’t thought this far ahead of whatever plan she is scheming.

“I was actually thinking of taking a nap before we leave,” she says. “I don’t want to be tired on the way home.”

“Oh,” Adam says, sounding a little disappointed. Kris can’t help but feel a little hurt by that. “Then I guess we better get going.”

Kris goes back to his room to get his bags and to tell Brad goodbye. “Good luck, baby,” Brad whispers in his ear when Kris hugs him.

“Do you have everything?” Adam asks, bending down to pick up one of Kris’s bags.

They head out the door and Kris glances back in the room one last time before closing it. Brad and Danielle are standing in his room, giving him a thumbs up. Kris really wants to know what these people talk about when he’s not around.

When it’s just the two of them in the hallway, Kris sucks in a breath to calm his nerves. He’s glad that both of their hands are full with his luggage, because if not then he would be tempted to hold Adam’s hand and he’s not sure if that’s allowed anymore.

This is the most awkward things have ever been between them. The tension feels so thick. He knows that Adam is having the same thoughts as he is, there is no way that he isn’t. Kris just wants Adam to say something to make things a little easier, but he doesn’t. Neither of them says a word all the way to the car.

Kris uses the radio as a distraction for as long as he can – which is no longer than a minute – as he finds a station to listen to, turning the volume down low enough so they can still hear each other, if one of them ever decides to talk. His palms are sweaty and his heart is beating so hard that he feels like he just ran for miles.

He watches Adam as he drives, focusing solely on the road ahead of him. His lips are moving along with the song on the radio, but no sound escapes. The words Brad said to him earlier run through his mind. _You just need to talk to him._

Kris inhales deeply.

“It didn’t mean anything,” Kris whispers, just loud enough to be heard over the music. He sees Adam turn his head towards Kris for a brief second in the corner of his eye. “That kiss… it meant absolutely nothing. I don’t even know why it happened. He kissed me and I was just… I don’t know.”

He pauses for a moment, waiting for a response of some sort from Adam, but he gets nothing, no indication that Adam even heard him.

Kris closes his eyes and dives in. “I wanted to kiss _you_ last night, not Justin,” Kris tells him. “I’ve been wanting to for a while and I know that I should’ve told you by now. I’m so stupid for not saying anything to you. When I saw your face last night, how hurt you looked… it sucked so much. I hate myself for it and I would give anything to take it back.”

Adam is still not saying anything. Kris doesn’t know if he’s taking it all in or if he’s pretending he doesn’t hear Kris. Now that Kris started, he can’t make himself stop talking.

“You have every right to be upset with me. I know I would be if I saw you kissing someone else. I just need you to forgive me. I need this to work, I need _us_ to work,” he stares at Adam’s profile. He would give anything in the world for them to not be driving right now so he could look in Adam’s eyes and try to figure out what he’s thinking. “I love you so much, Adam. It might be too soon for me to say that because we aren’t even dating, but it’s true. I love you and I want to be with you, and I want to take you out on dates, and I want to kiss you, and-”

“Kris,” Adam finally says.

Kris shuts his mouth, trying to catch his breath. “Yeah?”

Adam doesn’t budge, his eyes set straight ahead with an unreadable expression on his face. “Shut up.”

Kris flinches a little, not expecting to hear that. It makes him feel defeated. He just poured his heart out to Adam, telling him everything he thought Adam needed to hear. At least Adam knows now, and there’s nothing left that Kris can do.

“Okay.”

-

They are silent from then on. Neither of them says a word all the way to the airport, or when they grab Kris’s bags from the trunk, or when Kris checks his bags and gets his tickets. Finally, when they get to the point where they have to separate, Kris turns to Adam and their eyes meet.

“Did you mean it?” Adam asks, sounding vulnerable. He looks just as desperate as Kris feels. “What you said in the car?”

Kris reaches out and brushes his fingers against Adam’s arm, just needing to touch him. “Every word.”

There is a bit of uncertainty in Adam’s eyes. He’s looking at Kris like he wants to go for it, he’s ready for it, but there is something holding him back.

“I’ve liked you this entire time, Kris,” Adam takes a deep breath before he continues. “Ever since you walked in my room that first day I’ve just been… crazy about you. I thought you would never like me back. You had Katy, you were straight. I was setting myself up for heartbreak, but I didn’t care.”

Adam reaches for Kris’s hand. “But then you started sleeping in my bed and holding my hand and I thought that you were starting to feel the same about me. It made me so fucking happy, Kris. You have no idea.”

Kris squeezes Adam’s hand and smiles up at him. He thinks he has a pretty good idea.

“That’s why it hurt me so much last night, to see you kissing Justin. I know I probably overreacted because it was just a kiss, but I hated seeing it. It felt like someone ripped my heart out and stepped on it,” he tears his eyes away from Kris’s, settling his gaze on their entwined fingers. “I just really wanted to be the first guy you kissed.”

Kris brings their joined hands up to his mouth and kisses the back of Adam’s hand. “I can’t take back what I did, but I can promise that I will never kiss anyone else other than you,” he says, but then rethinks that statement. “That is… if you still want to.”

Adam bites his lip. “I do.”

Kris’s lips slowly turn upward into a smile, similar to the one adorning Adam’s face. “Good,” Kris says, taking a step forward to close the gap between them, “because I’m kinda sick of waiting.”

Adam’s eyes fall to Kris’s lips as they both lean in a little, Kris bringing his shaking hands up to Adam’s shoulders so he can pull himself onto his tippy toes. Kris’s eyes flutter closed when their lips meet. Adam’s mouth is warm against his, and a little sticky from the lip gloss. It should feel weird having to stretch his neck up for the kiss, grasping onto Adam’s broad shoulders. But it’s not weird at all. It feels like they should have started doing this a long time ago.

It lasts no longer than a couple of seconds, and when they pull away Kris licks the taste of strawberries and Adam from his lips. They press their foreheads together and their noses kiss. Adam’s lips stretch into a breathtaking smile.

“Fucking finally,” Adam gasps.

The smile on Kris’s face matches Adam’s. He can’t help it, so he pushes himself back up on his toes and kisses Adam again, and again. They have waited way too long to do this and now Kris never wants to stop. He’s debating on ripping up his plane ticket and going back to their room so he never has to.

Their kisses are messy, both of them too desperate and frantic for each other. Kris is vaguely aware that they are in the middle of a crowded airport, probably getting looks of disgust from the people passing by. But then Adam’s hand comes up and tangles his fingers in Kris’s hair to deepen the kiss even more, and all of Kris’s thoughts disappear.

Eventually, they break apart for air. Kris can feel Adam’s breath against his lips and it makes him crave it even more. He’s about to lean in again when Adam opens his mouth to say something.

“I don’t want you to go,” Adam says, the pout evident on his kiss swollen lips.

Kris steals another kiss. He wants to give Adam what he wants, to stay with him and go back to San Diego. If they had more time to plan this out, maybe he could have. But, he is at the airport with his family back home waiting for his arrival.

“I have to,” Kris says, placing his hand on Adam’s chest. It makes him smile when he feels the rapid beating of Adam’s heart against his palm. “Maybe you can still convince your mom to let you come see me, or I can try to get my mom to let me go to San Diego.”

“Maybe,” Adam sighs, dropping a soft kiss on Kris’s lower lip. “I guess you should probably get going.”

“Yeah,” Kris agrees, but doesn’t move. “Mmm, just one more kiss.”

Adam grins, happy to comply.

They don’t separate for another six minutes.

Kris almost misses his flight.

* * *

“Oh, you asshole!”

Charles furiously presses the ‘x’ button on the controller, as if that’s going to miraculously change the direction of the home run Kris just hit. He throws the controller down on the floor as Kris raises his fists in the air in victory.

“You’re cheating,” Charles says, staring at Kris’s players run the bases in disbelief. “I don’t know how, but you are.”

Kris chuckles. “I’m not cheating. You just suck.”

“Let’s play a new game. This one is boring,” Charles says, climbing off Kris’s bed and crawling over to the stack of video games in the corner of his room. “What’s something easy that I can kick your ass in?”

While Charles sifts through his games, Kris’s phone starts vibrating on his thigh. At first he assumes that it’s going to be a text, but when he looks down, Adam’s face is smiling up at him on the screen.

“Hey,” Kris answers, his voice so much softer than it was just moments ago.

“Hi,” Adam says. He sounds sleepy and muffled. Kris can just see him with his face still half buried in the pillow with his phone tucked in against his ear.

Kris grins into the phone. “Did you just wake up?”

Adam yawns in response. Kris’s stomach does a little flip flop at the fact that Adam hadn’t even waited until he was fully conscious to call him. That he was the first thing on Adam’s mind when he woke up.

“You lazy bum,” Kris teases, his voice laced with affection.

“S’your fault for making me stay up so late,” Adam mumbles, letting out another yawn. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing,” Kris glances up at Charles who is still on the floor trying to find a game to play. “Charles is over and we’re hanging out.”

“Oh,” Adam says, sounding a bit more awake. “Do you want me to let you go?”

Kris frowns. He would prefer to stay on the phone with Adam for a little while longer, but Charles is there and he doesn’t want to be a jerk.

“Yeah, but I’ll call you back later, alright?”

“’kay,” Adam says, and Kris can hear the smile in his voice. “Miss you.”

Kris ducks his head down, lowering his voice to a whisper. “Miss you too.”

Kris sucks in a deep breath to calm the butterflies. He gets that feeling every time Adam says it, that he misses Kris. It makes Kris feel a little less pathetic spending all day thinking about Adam, waiting for his next phone call or text message. He hopes that Adam is just as pathetic over him.

“Who was that?” Charles asks, getting back on the bed.

He fiddles with his phone, trying to quell the sudden panic he feels. “Nobody,” he lies. “Just a friend from school.”

Charles snorts. “Liar.”

Kris opens his mouth to say something, anything that would convince Charles, but he comes up with nothing.

“It’s not like I couldn’t hear you,” Charles says. “So, come on, what’s her name?”

Kris closes his eyes. _Shit._ He could lie to Charles and tell him that it is just a girl that he met at school, just say it’s Allison or someone. But he doesn’t want to keep Adam a secret from everyone. The feelings he has for Adam aren’t going away any time soon, so whether it is now or six months from now, he’s going to have to tell everyone eventually.

“It’s not a girl,” Kris says calmly, confidently, staring Charles right in the eye.

Charles’s lips quirk up into a smile. “Kris, don’t lie. I heard--”

“It’s _not_ a girl.”

The smile on Charles’s face falters and Kris practically see the wheels turning in Charles’s head. And then he finally gets it, his eyes go wide. “Oh… _oh!_ ” And then he squeezes his eyes shut and shakes his head. “Wait… what?”

Kris rolls his eyes, frustrated. “Oh my god, seriously, Charles? Do you need me to spell it out for you?”

“Dude, chill,” Charles says. “I just… since when?”

Kris shrugs. “I dunno,” he says. “A while.”

Charles stays quiet for a moment, looking at Kris with wide eyes like he can’t believe what he is hearing right now.

“So, you’re gay?”

“No,” Kris snaps. Seriously, hasn’t anyone ever heard of bisexuality, or did they forget that he dated Katy for years? “It’s just one guy. I don’t… he’s the only one.”

Charles blinks a few times. “Is he hot?”

Kris nearly chokes on his own tongue. “Excuse me?”

“Well, I don’t know what else to say. A minute ago we were playing a video game and now you’re telling me that you like dudes.”

Kris chuckles nervously. “Uh, yeah… he’s hot,” Kris says, never feeling more awkward in his entire life. “I think so, anyway.”

“Hmm,” Charles hums and nods his head, taking this all in. He is taking it a lot better than Kris thought he would. Kris was expecting Charles to freak out and not want to be near him. “So, you like a guy.”

Kris chews on his bottom lip. “Yeah,” Kris says, swallowing the lump in his throat. “I kinda love him, actually.”

His eyebrows go up at that, looking unsure of what to say. Kris was expecting that. He’s been preparing himself for any type of reaction for the past few weeks, knowing this moment would come eventually. Thankfully this is turning into one of the better scenarios he came up with.

“You’re okay with this, right?” Kris asks. “You aren’t going to freak out on me?”

A moment of silence stretches between them, and to Kris it feels like a thousand years. But then Charles’s lips curl into a smile. “Nah, it’s cool,” he says. “To be honest, it’s not even that big of a surprise.”

Kris starts to laugh, but then it registers what Charles had just said. He opens his mouth to ask what he means by that, but Charles cuts him off.

“So,” he says, resting his chin in his hand, “tell me about this guy.”

Kris tells him all about Adam.

-

It has been nine days.

Nine days since he last saw Adam, touched him, shared their first kiss. It’s killing Kris to be apart from him for so long, just when they finally got to the place they’ve been waiting for so long to get to. He thinks about the next three weeks he is going to have to spend away from Adam and he’s dreading it.

They are still working on their parents, trying to get Adam to come to Arkansas. Kris was on the phone with him last night when Adam got into a fight with his mother over it.

“You’re not being reasonable, mother,” Adam said, and Kris had to hold the phone away from his ear because Adam was screaming. “It will just be for a couple of days.”

“I’m the one not being reasonable when you want me to dish out four hundred dollars so you can go see your boyfriend for a couple of days?” She yelled back. “Just give it up, boys. It’s not going to happen.”

Kris remembers hearing Adam stomp his way up the stairs and his bedroom door slam. He laughs to himself as he thinks about it. As dramatic as Adam can get, Kris misses his little tantrums.

“What are you laughing at?” Daniel asks from across the dining room table, chewing on his food with his mouth open.

Kris is pulled away from his thoughts, completely forgetting that he was at the table with his family. His mind has been everywhere lately. A little of it has to do with music, but most of it is Adam.

“Nothing,” Kris says, cutting a piece of chicken with his fork. “You wouldn’t get it.”

Daniel looks at him for a second before going back to his food.

“So, Kristopher,” his mom says. “I talked to Leila today.”

Kris’s heart stops beating for a split second. He knows there is no reason to, but that makes him nervous. The other night Adam told his mom about them – he claims he didn’t mean to, that it accidentally slipped – but made her promise not to tell Kris’s mom. Kris hopes that there isn’t some secret mom code where they are obligated to tell each other when their sons are dating.

“Cool,” Kris says. “How is she?”

“She’s fine. We had a little discussion about Adam coming to visit for a few days,” she says, and Kris perks up a little, “but we don’t think he’s going to be able to this time.”

Kris sinks in his seat a little, trying not to look too bummed out, but he knows that it’s probably showing on his face.

“I don’t get why you want him to come so bad,” Daniel says. “Don’t you see him all the time back at school?”

Kris pushes the food around on his plate with his fork. “It was just an idea,” Kris mumbles. He realizes that he’s sulking, but he doesn’t care.

“Maybe next year,” his father suggests, his eyes darting over to his mother’s for a brief moment. “You know we’d love to meet him.”

“Yeah,” Kris says. “Maybe.”

-

“What are you doing tonight?” Kris asks Adam, lying on his bed and staring up at the tiny white popcorn looking bumps on his ceiling.

“Going out with Danielle,” Adam says. “I bought these new pants and they make it look like I actually have an ass.”

Kris laughs. Personally, he thinks Adam has a great ass.

“Where are you guys going?”

In the background Kris can hear the familiar sound of Adam’s messing around with his makeup, the various tubes and brushes clinking against the sink. He can just see Adam leaning in close to the mirror as he carefully lines his eyes with black.

“Some club,” Adam says. “Danielle met some guy and he’s the bartender there. He promised us free drinks.”

Kris tries to ignore the little pang in his chest that might be a little bit of jealousy. Adam is going to be out drinking without him, probably in a place filled with boys who are cuter than Kris. He knows that Adam is a snuggly drunk and he has told Kris about the drunken escapades that he and Danielle were in last summer.

“Are you going to look for some cute boys?” Kris asks, trying to keep the tone of his voice light and playful.

Adam laughs. “I would,” he says, “if I didn’t already have a cute boy.”

Kris’s heart does a little tumble in his chest.

“Unfortunately he’s a million miles away from me right now.”

Kris smirks. “This guy sounds like a loser.”

“He is,” Adam says, and then his voice gets softer, “but I’m in love with him, anyway.”

Thankfully Adam can’t see Kris because there is a big, goofy smile on his face right now.

“He loves you, too.”

-

It has only been an hour and half since he and Adam hung up, and Kris is already bored out of his mind. Charles is at work, he hasn’t really kept in touch with his other friends since he moved away, and Katy… well, he hasn’t spoken to Katy since they broke up.

Adam has started drinking already. His texts are becoming more and more difficult to decipher as the time passes.

 _someobe spilled beer ob my new pabts :(_

Kris grins into his phone, typing his response. His bedroom door opens just as he clicks send and his mom is poking her head in.

“You want to come downstairs?” she asks. “I made some brownies.”

It takes Kris less than a second to jump out of bed and head downstairs. His mom’s brownies are to die for. There is already a plate full of them and two glasses of milk on the table when he gets down there.

“Come sit,” she says, taking a spot at the end of the table. “We haven’t had a chance to really talk since you’ve been home.”

Kris hesitantly takes a step forward, his nerves building up. She has a look in her eye that makes Kris think that this isn’t just about brownies.

“What do you want to talk about?” Kris asks as he sits, he folds his hands in his lap and starts wringing his fingers together. All of a sudden he is not very hungry.

She picks apart the brownie on her plate. He notices that she’s not eating either. “I don’t know. Just tell me about your semester.”

Kris tells her about his grades, about how sometimes they don’t have hot water in their shower, and that the people across the hall from him are really loud at night. He keeps talking until he forgets about why he was nervous to begin with, and ends up scarfing down three brownies.

The entire time Kris talks, his mother barely looks up from her plate. That isn’t like her at all. He knows that whenever someone is speaking to her, she gives them her undivided attention, she hangs on to every word like it is the most important thing she has ever heard. Now Kris doesn’t think she has even listened to a word he said.

“Mama, what’s wrong?” he asks, finally getting her attention.

She looks up at him, her eyes meeting his. “Kristopher…” he can barely even hear his name being said. “Why do you care so much about Adam coming here?”

Kris’s entire body tenses and his heart falls to the pit of his stomach.

She knows.

His first instinct is to lie. “We’re just friends.”

She gives him a look that makes him know that she sees right through him. He isn’t sure how she knows, whether Leila told her or he really is just that obvious, but she knows and Kris is fucking terrified.

“Sweetie,” she whispers, but nothing else. There are tears in her eyes.

There is a silence that stretches between them for what feels like an eternity. The air in the room feels so thick that it makes it difficult to breath. He wants to tell her, but the words are stuck to his throat.

Kris closes his eyes and lets go of his fears. “I love him, mom.”

Her hand is clasped over her mouth and tears are running down her cheeks. And she is nodding, like this isn’t news to her at all. She reaches over and grabs his hand so tight that the tips of his fingers are purple.

“I know,” she says, wiping the tears from her cheeks. “I know.”

Kris exhales the breath he was holding. “How?”

She looks at him, and to Kris’s surprise, there is a smile on her lips. “Your face… whenever you talk about him, your face just lights up,” she says. “I saw you with Katy for years. I know what you look like when you are in love, Kristopher.”

Kris doesn’t know what to say, so he doesn’t say anything. Instead he stands up and walks over to where she is sitting and pulls his mom into a hug. He knows that this is hard for her; he knows that she may not even be completely okay with it. But he also knows that she still loves him and isn’t disgusted or ashamed of him. That is the only thing Kris was afraid of.

They talk for another hour. She listens to him as he tells her everything. It feels good to get it all off his chest. It is no longer a secret. Kris is no longer hiding, and it is actually okay. As they talk, there are tears and laughter.

Everything is going to be okay.

* * *

Kris is startled awake, his heart beating violently in his chest. It takes him a moment to calm down. He tries to remember what the dream was about, but the images are fuzzy in his head. Whatever it was, it makes him feel tense, a little shaken. He is probably better off not remembering.

He sits up a little and rubs his eyes with the palm of his hand. The room is pitch dark, the only source of light is the red numbers on the digital clock that read 4:12 a.m. Kris feels around for his phone, finding it hidden beneath his pillow. He presses the power button until the screen lights up and he has to blink a couple of times until it comes into focus. Adam is still on the line. The little numbers ticking on the bottom say that the call has lasted for a little over six hours.

“Hello?” Kris says quietly, just in case Adam is still awake. If he is, Kris doesn’t know if it would be creepy or sweet that Adam has been listening to him sleep this entire time. “Adam?”

Kris pouts a little, and instead of hanging up, he keeps the phone to his ear and just listens to the silence for a moment. Just barely, Kris can hear the familiar pattern of Adam’s breathing as he sleeps. It calms him a little, reminding him of what it is like to share a bed with Adam every night. His heart feels tight in his chest. He misses Adam terribly; his face, his laugh, his warmth.

When he listens long enough to be crossing the line between sweet and creepy, Kris puts the phone down, but doesn’t end the call. He stands up and stretches, reaching for his glasses on his nightstand before heading downstairs for something to eat. Lately he has been eating a lot. It might be from boredom, or loneliness, or maybe a little of both.

There are cheetos in the cupboard and a can of coke in the fridge. It is probably the worst thing to be eating this late at night, but he doesn’t care. He doubts he will be able to fall asleep anytime soon anyway.

“You’re up late.”

The voice comes from behind Kris and makes him jump out of his skin and nearly choke on a cheeto. He turns and sees his dad standing behind him in the archway of the kitchen.

“Yeah,” Kris says, swallowing his food. “Had a bad dream. Couldn’t fall back asleep.”

His dad just stands there for a moment, staring at Kris like he’s not quite sure what to say. Things have been awkward between them for the past few days. Neither of them have said anything, but they both know why.

“Why are you up?” Kris asks, just to break the painfully awkward silence.

“Mom heard a noise,” he says. “She told me to check it out.”

“Oh,” Kris frowns. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine,” his dad says, and lets out a yawn that almost seems like it’s forced. “I’m gunna go back to bed.”

Kris feels a little disappointed. He’s not even sure why. It’s not like they would stand around at four in the morning having a conversation even if things were perfectly normal. But it still wouldn’t be like this. Things have never been like this with his dad.

“Dad,” Kris says just as he starts to turn to go back to his room. His dad looks at Kris with his eyebrows raised, waiting for Kris to continue. Kris opens his mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. He wants to ask his dad if he is disappointed in him, or ashamed, or embarrassed. Kris just wants to shake him and tell him that he is still his son, still the same person he was before he fell in love with a boy.

But he doesn’t say anything. “Nothing,” Kris says. “I forgot what I was going to say.”

“You sure?” his dad asks.

Kris nods, smiling weakly. “Yeah.”

When his dad leaves the kitchen, Kris turns back to his cheetos and coke and suddenly doesn’t feel all that hungry anymore. He pours out the rest of the coke in the sink and leaves the bag on the counter. Once Kris is back in his room, he crawls under his sheets and pulls them up against his chin. He takes his phone and tucks it in between his head and the pillow, and he lies there listening to the quiet lullaby of Adam’s breathing until he eventually drifts off.

-

It is two days before Christmas and things haven’t gotten any better. Kris has become a hermit, cooping himself up in his room all day just watching television and playing his guitar. Even Adam has noticed and keeps telling him to go do something, like hang out with Charles or his brother. The trouble with that is Charles went away to his grandmother’s house and his brother seemingly doesn’t want to be in the same room as Kris, let alone hang out with him.

“Do you think you should’ve waited?” Adam asks, his voice a little cautious. “I mean, you just started figuring all of this out yourself. Maybe you could’ve waited to tell them.”

“No,” Kris says without even thinking about it. “I don’t want to keep you a secret. What difference would it make if I told them now or if I waited for another ten years? They would still react the same.”

It’s not like it makes much of a difference. They know now and Kris couldn’t take it back even if he wanted.

“I know,” Adam says. “It’s just that coming out is really fucking scary. My parents knew since I was a kid and it still took me until last year to tell them.”

Kris sighs. He wishes his dad had reacted the way Adam’s did. At least his mom seems like she’s okay with it. Either that, or she’s putting up a really good front.

“Your dad will come around eventually,” Adam says, and Kris knows that he is just trying to make him feel better. “Someday he’ll be totally cool with it. I promise.”

“I hope so.”

They are quiet for a while and Kris lets his mind wander. He almost forgets that they are on the phone when Adam starts talking again.

“Kris?”

“Hmm?”

There is a brief pause and Kris hears a little exhale against his ear. “I don’t know how to say this, and it is probably super cheesy, so don’t make fun of me, okay?”

Kris smiles. “I won’t.”

“It’s just… I know how hard this is for you and I know that you’re hurting a little right now, but I just want you to know how fucking proud I am of you for having the courage to tell your parents. And you have no idea how much it means to me that you’re doing this just so we can be together, and that you think that I’m worth it.”

Kris sucks in a sharp breath. All of the feelings that have built up for Adam throughout these past few months hit him like a tidal wave. It doesn’t matter if things never get better between him and his father because this right here, the feeling of being loved and being in love, is worth it. Adam is worth all of it.

It feels like a momentous moment, even though Kris has already told Adam that he loves him several times by now. But, in all of the times he has said it, he never meant it more than he does right now.

“I love you, Adam,” he whispers, his voice a little strained and thick with emotion. If he could have anything in the world right now, it would be for Adam to be with him, just so Kris could say it to his face.

Adam’s voice sounds just as shaken as Kris’s does. “I love you, too.”

-

Kris’s phone is vibrating against the bathroom sink when he climbs out of the shower. When he looks at the screen, he is surprised to see that it’s Brad.

“Hey!”

“Bitch, did you fall off the face of the earth?” Brad snaps at him. “I haven’t talked to you in days.”

Kris winces, feeling a little guilty. “I know, I’m sorry.”

Brad sighs dramatically. “It’s fine. I know I’m not as important as your little boyfriend. I understand.”

Kris sticks out his bottom lip in an apologetic pout, as if Brad can actually see him. “You know you’re important.”

“I know. I just wanted to heard you say it,” Brad says. “So, what are you doing?”

He reaches for a towel and wraps it around his waist. “Just got out of the shower.”

“Oh really?” Brad asks, his voice a little suggestive. “Are you naked?”

Kris looks down, blushing a little. “I’m in a towel.”

He doesn’t even want to know what thoughts are going through Brad’s mind.

“I’d ask you for pictures, but you’re a married woman now,” he says. “And I can always steal Adam’s phone and look at them.”

Kris chuckles. “Sorry, we don’t send each other naked pictures.”

“What?” Brad sounds appalled. “You’ve been together for two weeks and you haven’t sent each other dick shots?”

The thought of sending anyone a picture of his dick embarrasses the hell out of Kris. He has always thought that was tacky. When Kris sees Adam naked for the first time, he wants to be able to look and touch, instead of seeing it through an image on his phone.

“So, did Adam tell you what happened?” Kris asks, veering the subject away from his dick.

“No,” Brad says, dragging the ‘o’ out a little bit. “Why, what happened?”

“I came out to my mom,” Kris says, trying to make it sound like it isn’t a big deal.

“You did _what_?” Brad shrieks.

Kris laughs and tucks the phone between his ear and his shoulder as he steps out of the steamy bathroom. “I told my mom about Adam. My dad and brother know too, so I’m guessing she told them.”

“Kris!” Brad cries. “Oh my god, I’ve got tears in my eyes! I’m so fucking proud of you.”

“Thanks,” Kris grins.

“So, how did they take it?” Brad asks. “What did they say?”

“My mom is okay with it, I guess. When I told her she cried a little, but we talked for a while after and I told her everything.”

“That’s amazing, Kris. What about your dad?”

Kris scrunches his face a little. “Not so good.”

Brad makes an unhappy noise. “I’m sorry, sweetie. He will, though. It just takes time.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“If you need anyone to talk to, you know you can call me. Any time of the day, it doesn’t matter. I’m here.”

“I know. Thank you,” Kris says sincerely.

There is a long pause.

“So you guys really don’t send each other pictures?”

-

Kris misses the excitement of Christmas morning he felt when he was a kid. He and Daniel would stay in one room and peek out the window all night, trying to catch Santa and his reindeer flying by. Of course, they never saw anything and then slowly but surely, Kris stopped believing. Christmas stopped being fun after that. He still enjoys the gifts and the food, but it’s not the same.

“Open yours,” Kris says, pushing two horribly wrapped gifts towards his mother. He was a little tight on money this year, so he couldn’t get her much, but he knows that she will be grateful for anything she gets.

She opens the sweater and candle he bought her and looks at them as if they were diamonds. “Thank you so much, Kristopher,” she says, smiling warmly down at him. Christmas will always remind him of his mother. The way the house smells while she spends all day cooking and baking, all of the perfectly wrapped presents under the decorated tree.

Kris crawls to the back of the tree and looks to see if there are any more presents for him, but all that is left are a few for Daniel. He always finishes opening his presents before Daniel does, never bothering to take his time.

The living room is covered in bows and wrapping paper, four separate piles of gifts stacked around the room. Kris stands up and starts to bend down to grab his stuff to bring upstairs, but his mom grabs his wrist before he can.

“We got you one more gift,” she says, giving his wrist a gentle squeeze before getting up and heading upstairs to get whatever it is.

A few things run through Kris’s mind, maybe a puppy or a car. He quickly cancels out those possibilities. Puppies aren’t allowed in his dorm and he would have no use for a car until the summer.

Minutes pass and his mom comes back down the stairs, holding an envelope in her hand. Kris assumes that it is money, which he could really use for when he goes back to school. She sits down on the couch and pats the spot next to her for Kris to sit.

“Before I give this to you, I want you to know that this is from me and your father,” she tells him. “We both love you very much, okay? We just want you to be happy.”

Kris nods, now feeling very anxious and a little hesitant about opening whatever it is. “Okay.”

His mom hands him the envelope and Kris looks at her for a long moment before he opens it. He pulls out a piece of paper. It looks like a confirmation email. Kris raises an eyebrow. “I don’t get it. What is this supposed to be?”

“Just look at it,” is all she says.

Kris skims the words, and then he sees it. San Diego typed in bold black ink. His jaw goes slack and he looks back up at his mother with wide eyes. “Is this…”

She smiles bright, like that was just the reaction she was hoping for. “Leila and I talked about it, and she said she would absolutely love to have you at her house for New Years Eve, so we refunded your ticket to Los Angeles, and got you a ticket to San Diego.”

Kris’s heart feels heavy in his chest. He is torn between running to his room and calling Adam and hugging his mom and never letting go. “When do I leave?” he asks.

“Six in the morning,” she grins.

“Wait, like… tomorrow?” he asks, still a little in shock. This is hands down the best Christmas present Kris has ever gotten.

“Yes, so you better pack tonight. Make sure you have everything you need for school because you’ll be driving there with Adam.”

Kris’s head is spinning right now. It feels a little like he is floating. “I don’t... mom, thank you so much.”

He leans in and squeezes his mom. Kris is certain that he has the best mom in the world.

“You’re welcome, honey,” she says, squeezing him back just as tight. “Now go upstairs and call Adam. He has been dying to tell you for days.”

Kris pulls back from his mom’s embrace. “He knows?”

She laughs. “Leila had to make him promise not to tell you.”

Kris stands up and is about to head to his room, but then he remembers what his mom said about the gift being from her and his father. He turns around and sees his dad looking back at him. Slowly, Kris takes a few steps closer.

“Um… thanks, dad,” Kris says. “This means a lot to me.”

His face is stern for a moment, but then his lips curl into what almost looks like a smile. “You’re welcome.”

They don’t hug or anything, and Kris knows that everything is far from being fixed, but at least it is a step. His dad was willing to give this to Kris because he knew it would make him happy. That is more than Kris could ask for.

He sprints upstairs and fumbles with his phone, not even bothering to go through his contacts to call Adam, instead dialing his number from memory.

It takes half a ring for Adam to pick up.

“Did she tell you?” Adam practically yells into the phone. Kris gets the feeling he has been waiting for him to call.

“Yes!” Kris says, grinning so hard that his cheeks hurt. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.”

“It was a surprise!”

Kris bounces on his bed a little, looking at the piece of paper over and over again.

“I can’t believe that I get to see you tomorrow.”

Adam lets out a little squeak. “I know. We already have the guest room made up for you. I told my mom that it is stupid to have you sleep in the guest room. It’s not like we’ve never slept in the same bed before.”

Kris doesn’t even care if he has to sleep in a separate bed – okay, he cares a little bit – but he’s just so happy that he’s going to be with him, in Adam’s house, meeting Adam’s family.

And then Adam’s voice grows softer, just a whisper against Kris’s ear. “Merry Christmas, baby.”

* * *

Kris lies wide awake in his bed, unable to get even a wink of sleep ever since he hung up with Adam hours ago. It is still dark out, the sun not coming up for a while yet. He is anxious and excited, and he can’t get his heartbeat to slow down in his chest.

He turns his head to look at the clock. It’s going to go off in a couple of minutes, so he just turns it off and sits up. All of his bags are packed and ready on the floor. Usually it takes him days to pack his things, but this time it only took him about an hour. If it were up to Kris, he would’ve left yesterday.

No longer able to sit still, Kris gets up and takes a quick shower and brushes his teeth. His parents are taking him to the airport at four thirty, so he still has some time to waste. He pulls his laptop out of the case and turns it on. Quickly he checks his email and deletes the spam and logs on to Facebook. The first thing he sees is a status update from Adam that was posted fifteen minutes ago.

 _11 more hours!!!!_

A grin stretches across Kris’s face, happy to know that Adam is counting down the minutes just like he is. He clicks on Adam’s page and goes to his photos. Kris would never admit to anyone how often he has done this ever since he has been home. He usually hates Facebook and rarely ever goes on it. The only reason he even got one was because Katy made him about a year ago.

He goes to the album titled ‘Sophomore bitches!’ and clicks on it. The first dozen or so pictures don’t have Kris in them at all. They were taken before the two of them became so close. He pauses on the first picture with him in it, the first one they ever took together. They are on Adam’s bed, a few inches of space between them, with bright smiles on their faces. Somehow Kris feels like he looks so much younger back then, despite the fact that it was just four months ago. That’s not the boy he sees when he looks in the mirror anymore.

A few minutes later there is a soft knock on his door and he looks up from his laptop to see his mom standing in the doorway looking sleepy and still in her pajamas.

“Hey, you almost ready?” she whispers, probably not to wake up Daniel in the next room.

Kris nods. “Yeah, I packed everything yesterday.”

She shuffles in his room and sits down next to him on the bed. “Are you excited?”

Kris can’t help the smile that breaks out on his face. “Yeah,” he says. “Thanks again for, you know… doing this for me.”

His mom leans in to kiss the top of his head. “No problem.”

And then he notices her looking down at the laptop screen, where the pictures are still pulled up. He feels like he was caught doing something he shouldn’t be, and he almost wants to shut his laptop quickly.

“Is that Adam?”

Kris looks down at the picture. “Yeah, that’s him.”

“Hm, I don’t think I’ve ever seen what he looks like before,” she says. “He’s cute.”

Kris isn’t sure how he is supposed to respond to that. Of course she knows that Kris must think he’s cute, but he feels awkward saying it out loud. Instead, he just doesn’t say anything. She turns the laptop towards her and looks up at Kris. “May I?”

He quickly tries to remember if there are any photos in that album that he wouldn’t want her seeing, but he’s pretty sure that it’s safe. “Uh, yeah. Go ahead.”

She clicks the next one, which was from Cale’s birthday about two weeks before they left. It is of Adam holding a cupcake in his hand, looking at the camera with his face all scrunched up and his tongue poking out. That one makes her smile. Kris is in the next one, with the same cupcake that was in Adam’s hand smeared all over his face while Adam has his head thrown back with laughter.

But when she gets to the next one, Kris freezes. In this one, Kris has one arm wrapped around Adam’s neck from behind, bending him backwards a little and right against Kris’s chest. They both have frosting covered faces, paying absolutely no attention to the camera, and Adam has his head tilted to the side with his lips puckered out, about to kiss Kris’s cheek. The part about the picture that gets to Kris the most is the way his hand is splayed across Adam’s stomach. For as silly as they are being, the touch looks so intimate. Kris remembers moments after that picture was taken; Adam took a warm washcloth and gently cleaned Kris’s face and hands, and Kris did the same for Adam.

“You look happy.”

“I was,” Kris swallows thickly. “I am.”

A loud knock on his door scares the shit out of Kris. His dad is standing there, looking at the two of them. “We should get going,” he says, and turns to leave Kris’s room without another word.

Kris stands up, but his mom stays where she is. It just registers that she is still in her pajamas and doesn’t look anywhere near being ready to leave the house.

“You’re not coming?” Kris asks.

His mom shakes her head. “You and your father need time to talk before you go.”

Kris really doesn’t want to be alone in the car with his dad for an extended period of time. It will be awkward and uncomfortable, and Kris really doesn’t want to have to face that.

“Please, mom,” he begs.

She shakes her head a little more slowly this time. “I’m sorry, Kris,” she says, “but you guys really need to talk.”

Kris wants to stomp his feet and whine about how unfair she is being, but he decides to be an adult about it and just pout a little. He only has to make it through the car ride and then he will be off to see Adam.

His mom opens her arms for a hug, tears are brimming in her eyes like they always do when Kris is about to leave. “Have a wonderful time,” she says. “Make sure you call me as soon as you get settled at Adam’s house.”

Kris has a quick mental freak out over the fact that he’s going to be at Adam’s house later today, and then he responds. “I will.”

He stands up and his mom wipes a tear from her eye. “Now go before I start bawling.”

Kris laughs and picks up his bags and guitar. “Love you, mom.”

-

 

The car ride is just as awkward as Kris anticipated it to be. Other than when his dad tells him he can turn on the radio, neither of them says a word almost the whole way there. Kris wants to say something, anything that will make this less uncomfortable. They used to talk about sports all the time, but Kris can’t remember the last time he even got to watch any games.

Instead of trying, Kris leans his head against the headrest and closes his eyes.

“I always thought it would be Daniel.”

He jerks his head back up and turns to his dad, having absolutely no idea what he is talking about. “Thought what was Daniel?”

“If either of you were…” he trails off.

Kris blinks a few times, still staring at his dad’s profile, and then he starts to laugh. “You thought Daniel was gay?”

His dad shakes his head, and there is actually a hint of laughter in his voice. “No… I never thought he was, but sometimes I wondered, you know? He never showed that much interest in girls and there is the cheerleading and I just… I don’t know.”

Kris sits back in his seat again and thinks about that for a moment. He used to make fun of Daniel for the cheerleading when he first started. It was a long time ago, so he doesn’t remember much, but he is pretty sure he probably threw the word “gay” around without even thinking about it. Kris wants to slap his fifteen year old self in the face.

“But I always told myself that even if he was, I would still love him no matter what,” his dad says. “Nothing could ever change that.”

Kris knows that this is his dad’s way of telling him that he still loves him, that it will never change. It feels like a giant weight is lifted from Kris’s shoulders. There is another long silence between the two of them, but this one is a little less uncomfortable.

“So, tell me about him.”

Kris raises his eyebrows, not expecting that at all. “Adam?”

His dad nods. Kris isn’t sure if he actually wants to know or if this is his way of saying that he really is okay with this. Either way, Kris tells him. He tells him about Adam’s voice and how it is better than most people you hear on the radio, and about Adam’s music collection and how it’s very similar to his dad’s, and he tells him that Adam can’t play an instrument to save his life. It’s nice to talk about Adam like this with him, even though Kris tries to make it sound like they are just friends and nothing more. His father really doesn’t need to know that Adam is an amazing kisser.

“He sounds like a good guy,” he says. “Maybe your mother and I will get to meet him someday.”

Kris smiles. “Really?”

“Yeah, maybe next year he can come here for New Years Eve.”

It will be weird to have Adam in Arkansas. He knows that his dad is trying to be okay with it, but he doesn’t know if he would be okay if he actually had to see Kris with Adam. But, in a year from now, maybe his dad won’t think anything of it anymore. Maybe by then his dad will think Kris and Adam together is just as normal as Kris and Katy together.

He can only hope.

-

Kris shouldn’t be this nervous. It’s _Adam_. He is used to spending almost every minute of his day with Adam. Only, this time they aren’t just friends. It’s not going to be like it was before. This whole thing is exciting and terrifying at the same time. For the next week, it is just going to be him and Adam. There won’t be any classes, or their friends, or any of the things that they are used to.

He is one of the last people off the plane and he follows the direction everyone else is headed. His hands are curled in tight fists, his fingernails digging into his palms. His heart starts racing more and more with each step he takes. _It’s only Adam…_ Kris keeps repeating to himself, trying to calm down.

Kris turns the corner, and just up ahead he sees a small crowd of people, hugging and saying hello to whoever it was they were waiting for. His eyes flicker across the group of people, and that’s when he sees Adam. Kris’s breath catches in his throat and he stops moving, just feet away from him.

Adam doesn’t notice him at first, so Kris takes his time just to look. He is standing there, watching a couple reuniting, holding each other and swaying back and forth on their feet. Adam’s eyes are soft, watching them with a sweet smile on his face. Kris wonders if Adam is thinking about him, and the moment that is going to happen just seconds from now.

Kris blinks, and now Adam’s eyes are on him. The sweet smile that was on his lips grows into a grin that Kris swears lights up the whole damn airport. His feet start working again and he takes the last few steps to get into Adam’s arms.

The second he touches Adam, all of the nerves he had just melt away. He buries his face in Adam’s neck and wraps his arms tight around Adam’s waist. If he could stay here, right in this spot, for the rest of his life, Kris would be happy. He feels one of Adam’s large hands splayed across his lower back, and his other hand is buried in the hair on the nape of Kris’s neck.

Finally, after god knows how long, they pull back.

“Hi,” Adam says, his eyes shining down at Kris in a way that makes his heart skitter in his chest.

Kris reaches up and brushes the tips of his fingers against Adam’s cheek. “Hey.”

His eyes travel down to Adam’s lips, and at the same time, they both start to lean in. Right before their lips touch, Kris’s eyes flutter closed and he takes a deep breath. It’s the softest kiss that he has ever shared with anyone. It’s not urgent or desperate like their first kiss, it doesn’t have to be. This is theirs now. They can have it whenever they want.

Adam pulls away and their mouths stretch into matching grins. Kris pushes himself up on his toes to kiss Adam again. They are silly and playful because neither of them can stop smiling long enough to kiss properly.

“We should probably… get going,” Adam says between kisses, but keeps his feet planted firmly where they are and his hands remain on Kris’s hips.

“Mmm, not done yet,” Kris mumbles against Adam’s lips. He swipes his tongue along Adam’s bottom lip and then sucks it in his mouth, smirking when he hears the soft whimper escape Adam’s throat. When he pulls back, Adam’s eyes are still closed and his lips are parted and wet. “Okay, we can go now.”

He hears Adam mutter “asshole” under his breath before Kris walks off towards baggage claim.

-

It takes them a half hour to get back to Adam’s car. They got sort of distracted at baggage claim and missed Kris’s bags the first two times they came around on the conveyor belt. Kris noticed the looks they were getting from some of the people around them, but they didn’t care. It’s not like they are ever going to see any of these people again.

“That one lady looked like she was going to kill us,” Kris laughs as he hauls the last of his bags in Adam’s trunk. He looks up at Adam, who is leaning his back against his car, watching Kris intently, probably not listening to a single word he is saying. Kris slams Adam’s trunk closed and walks over to him, stepping between Adam’s legs. “You haven’t even been listening to me, have you?”

Adam chuckles. “No, not really.”

Kris frowns. “Mean,” he says, but leans in for a kiss anyway. He briefly thinks that they should probably do something more productive than just making out for the next week, but then Adam drags his tongue along the roof of Kris’s mouth, and all of those thoughts go out the window.

A few minutes later, Kris is pressed against the car with Adam’s body right up against his. They pull back to catch their breath, and Kris hits the back of his head against the car a little harder than he meant to.

“Where did you learn to kiss like that?” Kris gasps, still able to feel Adam’s hot breath against his lips. He knows that Adam isn’t completely inexperienced, but Kris was with Katy for almost four years and she never kissed him like that.

Adam bites his lips and scrunches his nose. “Some girl in high school,” he laughs. “All we did was make out and smoke cigarettes.”

Kris makes a face. “That’s kinda gross,” he says. “I don’t think I could kiss you if you tasted like an ash tray.”

“Well,” Adam says, so close that Kris can feel his lips brush against his with every word. “It’s a good thing I stopped, then.”

Kris starts to say something, but Adam captures Kris’s mouth with his own before he has the chance to, and whatever Kris was about to say flees his mind. He could do this all day.

Adam breaks the kiss first this time. “Okay,” he says, backing up from where he has Kris pinned against the car. “No more. My mom was expecting us like a half hour ago.”

He unlocks the car and Kris climbs in and puts his seat belt on while Adam starts the car. As soon as Adam pulls out of the spot and starts driving, he reaches over for Kris’s hand, lacing their fingers together and resting their hands on his thigh. Kris can’t believe how much he missed this, the feeling of Adam’s fingers in the spaces between his, and his warm palm against Kris’s.

“I’m nervous to meet your family,” Kris says after a while.

Adam squeezes his hand. “Don’t be,” he says. “My mom loves you already and she’s so excited that you’re coming. Just ignore my brother. He’s an asshole and don’t let him talk politics with you. You won’t win.”

Kris nods. He doesn’t even know enough about politics to argue with anyone about it. “Will I get to meet your dad?” Kris asks. He knows that Adam’s parents got a divorce earlier this year, and that he doesn’t get to see his dad too much anymore.

“Maybe,” Adam says. “We always have a big party for New Years, so he might come to that. If not, I can just call him and we can all go out to dinner some night. I told him all about you and he says he can’t wait to meet you either.”

Kris smiles. “Yeah?”

“Mhmm,” Adam says. “They know how happy you make me, so…” he shrugs, “they are just excited about it, I guess.”

They stop at a red light and Kris leans over the console between them to give Adam a quick kiss. “I’m glad I came.”

Adam smiles brightly at him. “Me too.”

-

“Mother!” Adam yells as soon as they step foot in the house. “We’re home!”

Kris is instantly greeted with the scent of candles burning. It smells a little spicy and warm, kind of like Adam. He hears footsteps above their head and Adam’s mother clambering down the stairs quickly.

“Kris!” she exclaims as soon as she sees him, her arms open wide for a hug. She squeezes the hell out of Kris, just like his own mother does. “I’m so glad to finally meet you.”

“Yeah, me too,” Kris says, pulling back from the hug. “Thank you for letting me come.”

“No problem at all, sweetie,” she smiles. “We’re happy to have you.”

He feels Adam’s fingers curl into the inside of Kris’s elbow and tugs a little. “I’m going to go show Kris to his room,” Adam says. “When is dinner?”

“I’m just going to order a pizza,” she says. “What do you like, Kris?”

Kris shrugs. “Anything,” he says. “I’m not picky.”

Adam starts pulling Kris out of the kitchen just as his mom tells them that she’ll call for them when the pizza gets there. Adam drags Kris up the stairs, tugging on his arm every time Kris tries to stop to look at one of the pictures of Adam when he was a little kid that are lined up against the wall.

“You were adorable!” Kris says, looking at a picture of Adam when he was probably three or four years old. “Aw, look at your hair! I’ve never seen you when you were little.”

Adam is walking backwards, pulling Kris by his shirt down the hallway. “You can look at the pictures later.”

They get to the end of the hall and Adam stops in front of an open door. Kris looks in and sees a boy, who creepily resembles Adam, playing a video game. “This is Neil, by the way,” Adam says.

Neil doesn’t look up from the television. “Hey.”

“Uh, hi,” Kris says, and the conversation ends there.

“And this,” Adam says, pushing the door across the hall from Neil open, “is my room.”

It looks exactly how Kris pictured it. The walls are purple and there is a zebra print comforter on the bed. Posters of bands and singers are scattered everywhere on the walls. There are piles of movies and CDs stacked everywhere. The room just screams _Adam._

Kris steps in and inhales deeply. It smells like vanilla and cologne. Kris wishes he could live here just so he could be surrounded by Adam’s smell all day.

“So, I’m not allowed to sleep in here?” Kris asks, even though he already knows the answer.

Adam walks over to his bed and plops down on it. “No,” he pouts. “She’s usually the most lenient mother in the world, and then the second I get a boyfriend, she makes a bunch of rules.”

Kris follows Adam to the bed and stands between his legs. Adam is a whole lot shorter than him in this position. It’s weird. He cups Adam’s face in his hands and brushes his thumbs against Adam’s cheeks.

“At least she was nice enough to let me come for the week.”

Adam makes a face, like that’s still not good enough for him. “She goes to work really early. I can just sneak into your bed when she leaves.”

Kris snorts. “I can really see you waking up at six every morning just to switch rooms.”

“Hey, it’s a _queen_ sized bed,” Adam says. “Much better than that twin thing we’re used to sleeping in.”

Kris feels a nervous flutter in his stomach at the thought of being alone with Adam all day. He doesn’t know how far Adam is willing to go, or even how far he is willing to go. Kris has done everything with Katy, but this is different. It’s going to be like learning everything all over again. He doesn’t know Adam’s body, or the things he likes, or the sounds he makes. As nervous as it makes Kris feel, he’s eager for it, too.

He tilts Adam’s face up with his hands and bends forward to kiss him. Adam opens his mouth for Kris, and kisses him slow and deep. It’s nice to finally do this in private, to be able to take his time with Adam. After a while Kris’s back starts to hurt from bending over like this, so he crawls onto the bed and straddles Adam’s lap, wrapping his arms around Adam’s neck. Adam places his hands low on Kris’s waist, his fingers touching the bare skin where Kris’s shirt has creeped up in the back.

They pull back and Adam looks at up him, his bright blue eyes are wide and shining. He brings his hand up to trace his finger along the line of Kris’s jaw. “I can’t believe you’re here,” he whispers. The way Adam is looking at him makes Kris feel like he’s drowning. Kris leans forward to touch his forehead against Adam’s and closes his eyes until his head stops spinning.

A while later Kris is lying on top of Adam, hands buried in his thick black hair, sharing soft, languid kisses. He has no idea how long they’ve been doing this. All Kris knows is that he can’t feel his lips anymore, but it is way too good to stop.

“Pizza is here.”

Kris leaps off of Adam and is on the other side of the room in less than a second, wiping off his lips as if he’s erasing the evidence.

“Mom!” Adam yells, pushing himself up on his elbows. “You could knock, you know.”

She rolls her eyes. “I would if you bothered to shut the door.”

Kris’s face is bright red. He has only been here for an hour and already he managed to embarrass the hell out of himself. Adam seems to think it’s pretty funny.

“Now you know why Kris is staying in the guest room,” she says before she turns to leave. “Now come down and eat.”

When they hear her making her way back down the stairs, Adam and Kris exchange looks and start cracking up.

“Come on,” Adam says as he stands up. He walks over to Kris and grabs his hand. “Let’s go spend some time with the family.”

* * *

Kris looks down at their feet tangled together at the other end of the couch; his are covered with white socks while Adam’s are bare with black painted toenails. He slowly runs his toes along the arch of Adam’s left foot, causing Adam to squirm underneath him.

“Stop,” Adam whines. “It tickles.”

He sighs and rests his head back down on Adam’s chest. For the past two days, they haven’t done anything but hang around the house and watch television. It’s not that much different than what he was doing in Arkansas, but now he gets to do it with Adam, and Adam is warm and has really nice lips.

“I can’t believe Stephanie Tanner became a drug addict,” Adam says out of nowhere. “It’s sad.”

Kris furrows his brow and glances over at the television, seeing that Adam has changed the channel to _Full House_.

“What episode was that in?” Kris asks. He grew up watching that show and he doesn’t remember any drugs.

He can feel Adam’s chest vibrate under his cheek as he laughs. “No, dumbass,” he says. “The girl who plays Stephanie. I think she did meth or something.”

Kris watches the curly blond haired girl on the screen. “No way.”

“I swear to god,” Adam says, flipping through the channels again. “Google it.”

Kris makes a mental note to do that later.

Adam finally settles on a station; it’s a soap opera of some sort. The storyline goes over Kris’s head within the first five minutes, so he just closes his eyes instead and lets his mind drift. Adam is tracing soft circles on his arm and Kris really wouldn’t mind stay in this spot forever.

“We should go out,” Adam says suddenly.

Kris blinks his eyes open and lifts his head a little off of Adam’s chest so he can look at him. “Right now?” Kris asks. He really doesn’t feel like getting up at the moment.

“No, not right now,” Adam says. “I was thinking we could go out to dinner tonight.”

Going out would probably be nice. Kris hasn’t really seen much of San Diego other than the airport and Adam’s house.

“Are you asking me out on a date?” Kris asks, smirking up at Adam.

“Maybe,” Adam says, a faint blush on his cheeks. He looks shy all of a sudden, as if he thinks Kris could possibly say no to him.

Kris maneuvers himself so that he’s on top of Adam completely, their faces so close that their noses brush. “I’d love to,” Kris grins, and he notices how relieved Adam looks. He thinks that maybe Adam doesn’t get that Kris is _his_ now, and that he isn’t going anywhere.

He leans in the rest of the way and presses their lips together, Adam’s mouth opens easily for Kris’s tongue. Kris loves this more than anything, the feeling of Adam’s warm, solid body under his, the way he tastes, and the little sighs Adam makes when Kris does something he likes.

The moment is ruined when Kris’s stomach growls loud enough for them both to hear. They pull back a little, looking at each other before they both burst out laughing. “Make me lunch,” Kris says.

“Make your own damn lunch,” Adam mumbles against Kris’s mouth. “I don’t want to get up.”

Kris pouts. They never ate breakfast this morning and he hates kissing on an empty stomach. But, the last couple of days have taught him how to get his way with Adam. He drops his head down and places a trail of kisses along Adam’s jaw line, until Kris reaches his ear. “Please, babe?” he whispers, his hot breath ghosting over Adam’s ear.

When that doesn’t work, Kris ducks down and starts giving all of his attention to the little spot on Adam’s neck that he discovered last night. As Adam’s breathing starts to get uneven, Kris knows that he has won.

“You’re fucking evil,” Adam gasps, his fingers digging into Kris’s waist. He practically shoves Kris to the side and slides out from underneath him. When he stands up, he looks down at Kris. Adam’s hair is sticking up everywhere and his eyes are dark. He looks like he’s about to pounce on Kris.

Adam walks away towards the kitchen, and Kris doesn’t feel that much like eating anymore. Although, it’s probably better that they stopped. Neil is just in the other room playing video games and Kris is pretty sure that he is sick of walking in on them. The first time he did, he clasped his hand over his eyes and yelled, “My eyes! My eyes!” and hasn’t walked into a room without staring straight at the floor ever since.

He shuffles so that he’s lying on his side and he grabs the remote that Adam left on the armrest, even though Adam is going to yell at him for changing the channel. Adam is a remote hog and hasn’t let Kris watch anything he likes since he got here and Kris really can’t stand watching any more shows like _Gossip Girl_.

The front door swings open and Danielle walks in. “Kris!” she grins, making her way over to him on the couch. “It’s so good to see you again!”

Kris sits up enough to give her a hug. “Yeah, you too.”

Just then Adam walks in with a plate and a glass of chocolate milk. Danielle laughs, “Look at the little housewife.”

If Adam’s hands weren’t full, Kris is sure that he would’ve flipped her off. Instead he just sticks his tongue out and puts the plate and glass on the coffee table in front of Kris.

Kris grabs his wrist and pulls him down for a quick kiss. “Thank you.”

Adam’s lips stretch into a bright smile. “No problem.”

Danielle is watching them from the side, her hand pressed over her heart and her bottom lip caught between her teeth. “Oh my god, you guys are fucking adorable,” she says, practically bouncing in her seat. “I totally knew you guys would be, ever since I saw you together for the first time.”

Kris remembers that day, and more specifically that night, and he doesn’t want to think about it, so he just focuses on the sandwich Adam made for him. It’s his favorite, peanut butter and honey. Adam even cut it diagonally. His boyfriend is awesome.

“And then when Adam came back from the airport…” she continues.

“ _Danielle_ ,” Adam warns, giving her a stern look and glancing over at Kris nervously.

It clicks in Kris’s head what she’s talking about. He forgot that Adam went back to their dorm to Danielle and Brad after their first kiss. Suddenly, he’s interested in what Danielle has to say, no matter how mortified Adam is.

“Oh, what?” Kris mumbles with a mouth full of peanut butter. “Tell me.”

Kris knows that Adam is probably pleading with her over his shoulder, and she twists her lips like she’s debating on if she should tell Kris. Eventually she sighs. “Oh, nothing,” she says. “Adam was just very happy.”

He knows that there is more to the story, but he decides not to press the subject. Adam is fidgeting nervously next to him. Kris doesn’t get the big deal. On the plane ride home, Kris was acting like a twelve year old girl who just got her first kiss. Which… okay, yeah. He probably wouldn’t want Adam to know about that.

“And he talked about it, like, the whole way home.”

“Danielle!” Adam groans and buries his face in his hands. Kris pries his hands away from his face and Adam pouts. “I swear she’s lying.”

Kris leans forward to press his forehead against Adam’s. He lowers his voice for only Adam to hear. “If it makes you feel any better, I thought about it the whole way home.”

It makes Adam smile.

-

Kris doesn’t know how to dress for a date. He never had to put that much thought into it when he was with Katy. They knew each other for so long before they dated that Kris never had to think twice about what he wore around her. It’s not like that with Adam. Of course, Adam probably wouldn’t care if Kris went in sweatpants, but that’s not that point. Kris wants to look nice for him.

“I need advice,” Kris says as soon as Brad picks up the phone.

Brad sighs. “I knew this was coming,” he says. “Okay, it’s probably going to hurt a little at first, so make sure you relax and-”

“Not that!” Kris yells into the phone. “Jesus, Brad. I just need clothing advice.”

“Oh…” Brad says. “Why didn’t you say so?”

Kris rolls his eyes. “Adam is taking me out on a date and he won’t tell me where we’re going and I have no idea what to wear.”

“God, you sound like my sister when she goes on dates,” he says. “Well, knowing Adam, he’s probably going to take you someplace ridiculously romantic because he has been fantasizing about taking you on a date for months.”

That makes Kris feel nervous. He’s never been on this side of the date before. It’s him that usually picks out the restaurant, and he’s the one who pays and opens the door.

“I wish I was there to help you pick something out because everything of yours that comes to mind is completely atrocious,” Brad says. Kris doesn’t think his clothes are _that_ bad. “Oh! Wear those tight black jeans that I bought for you. Adam loves those.”

“He does?” Kris asks as he digs through his suitcase to find them.

“Honey, you are so oblivious.”

They spend another twenty minutes trying to figure out the rest of Kris’s outfit. “No plaid whatsoever,” he warns Kris. Brad even makes him hang up so Kris can take a picture of himself and send it to Brad to make sure he looks okay.

“Adam won’t be able to keep his hands off of you,” Brad says when he calls Kris back.

That is kind of what Kris is hoping.

There is a long pause as Kris thinks back to what Brad said in the beginning of the conversation.  
“Hey, Brad?”

“Yes?”

Kris can’t believe he’s asking this. “Before you said… how bad does it hurt?”

Brad laughs.

-

Kris is sitting in the living room with Leila and Neil when Adam finally emerges from his bedroom. He does a double take when he first looks up at Adam, and then his breath is stolen right out of his lungs. His mouth is hanging open and he is fully aware that he is staring.

Adam walks up to him, looming over Kris, and holds out his hand to help Kris off the couch. “You ready?”

It takes Kris a moment to react, but then he takes his hand and lets Adam pull him up. Kris doesn’t take his eyes off of Adam’s face. His hair is combed back in a style that Kris has only seen on him a couple of times, and he is wearing minimal eye makeup, but just enough to make the color in his eyes pop out. He looks gorgeous.

Adam’s smile falters a little. “What’s wrong?”

Kris shakes his head quickly. “Nothing,” he says. “You just… you look amazing.”

Adam’s lips quirk up into a shy smile. “Really?”

“This is sickening,” Neil says from the couch.

Kris feels a blush creep up his neck. He has completely forgotten that Adam’s mom and brother are right there watching them. Hopefully he doesn’t look as much like a love sick puppy as he feels.

“Come on,” Adam says, pulling Kris by his hand to the front door. “We’ll be back.”

Adam laces their fingers together as soon as they close the door behind them, even though it takes less than ten seconds to get to Adam’s car. There is the awkward moment when they both hesitate over who is going to open Kris’s door, but then Adam beats him to it.

Kris grins up at him. “Such a gentleman.”

Adam lets go of his hand as Kris gets in the car. “Shut up,” he says. “I’ve just always wanted to do that for someone.”

Adam’s hand is on Kris’s thigh as soon as they pull out of the driveway. “You look amazing too,” Adam says, glancing over at Kris quickly. “Like, really amazing.”

Kris puts his hand on top of the one Adam has on his thigh. “Thanks,” he says. “Brad helped me pick out an outfit.”

Adam chuckles. “Why did you need him to help you?”

Kris shrugs, fiddling nervously with one of the rings on Adam’s finger. “I dunno,” he says. “It’s our first date. I wanted to look good for you.”

They share a lingering glance, and then Adam turns to face the road again. “If it wouldn’t cause me to crash and kill us both, I’d kiss you.”

So, he does when they reach the next stoplight.

-

“I have a reservation for two.”

Kris had no idea Adam had made reservations. He thought it was more of a spur of the moment kind of date. But as he looks around, it does look like the kind of place you’d need a reservation to get a table.

“What’s the name?” the hostess asks.

“Lambert.”

She writes something down and takes two menus. “Follow me,” she says, smiling politely at the two of them. Kris notices her eyes flicker down to their clasped hands.

Kris expects her to stop at one of the booths they pass, or one of the small tables, but she takes them through a door that leads out to the patio, overlooking the ocean. This is the second moment tonight that has taken Kris’s breath away.

They sit down and the hostess places the menus on the table. “Your waitress will be with you shortly.”

Kris waits until she walks back inside before he turns to Adam. “Adam, this is…”

Adam is beaming. “Isn’t it amazing?”

He doesn’t even know what to say. “How long have you been planning this?”

Adam scratches the white tablecloth with a black fingernail, not meeting Kris’s eyes. “Pretty much since the moment I found out you were coming.”

Kris is completely dumbfounded. Nobody has ever done anything like this for him before. The fact that Adam planned all of this just for him – Kris doesn’t even want to know how much this is costing Adam – makes Kris want to crawl over the table and kiss Adam until neither of them can breathe.

Adam peers up at him through his long eyelashes. There is a candle in the middle of the table and the flame makes Adam’s eyes sparkle. “So, you like it?”

Kris grins. “It’s perfect.”

-

They share a plate of fried calamari for an appetizer. It took Adam a few minutes to convince Kris to try it, because it’s _squid_ and Kris has strict rules of not eating anything with tentacles. It ends up being one of the best things Kris has ever tasted, and he eats more than half of the plate.

“I can’t believe you got a burger,” Adam says as he watches Kris take a huge bite out of it.

Kris swallows. In his defense, it is the fanciest burger he has ever had. There are a million different spices and three types of cheeses, and it’s the best burger ever. It was also one of the cheapest things on the menu, and he doesn’t want Adam to spend a fortune on him.

“Want a bite?” Kris asks, pulling off a piece of it to give to Adam.

Adam chuckles and shakes his head. “No thanks,” he says, stabbing one of the lobster raviolis on his plate with his fork. “You want to try some of this?”

He swirls the ravioli in some of the sauce on his plate before feeding it to Kris. Just like everything else Kris has tried, it’s amazing as well. He’s pretty sure he could eat the rest of his food, and Adam’s, and still want more.

“This place is so cool,” Kris says, turning to look out at the ocean. The sun is almost set and the sky is a pretty shade of purple and orange, the water sparkling. “I’ve never been to the beach during sunset before.”

“It’s so beautiful,” Adam says, his voice just above a whisper. “I used to come to the beach almost every afternoon during the summer just to watch the sunset.”

Kris imagines Adam on the beach during the sunset with nobody else around, just him sitting on the sand, watching the waves crash against the shore. He wishes he could take a snapshot of the image in his head and frame it.

“Can we go down there after we eat?” Kris asks.

Adam smiles. “That is a part of this huge romantic gesture,” he says, his voice teasing. “Thanks for ruining the ending, Kristopher.”

Kris pokes his bottom lip out in an exaggerated pout. “I’m sorry. How can I make it up to you?”

Adam raises an eyebrow, a crooked smile on his lips. “I’m sure you can figure something out.”

-

“Never let me eat that much again,” Adam groans, clutching his belly. “I feel like I’m going to explode.”

Kris feels just as full. “I don’t think we should’ve ordered that chocolate cake.”

“But it was so good!” Adam says, and he’s right. Everything they ate was delicious.

They stumble down the beach and Adam plops down in the sand. Kris looks at him, confused. “We’re not going in the water?”

“Uh, no,” Adam says. “The water is probably cold as fuck.”

It is a little chilly out, but Kris doesn’t care. They are at the beach. It’s, like, against the law not to go in the water. He sits down and struggles to pull up his pant legs, wishing he opted for a looser pair of pants.

“Are you seriously going in?” Adam asks, watching Kris with amusement.

“Yes I am,” he says. When Kris pulls them up as high as they can go, he stands back up and starts jogging, stopping just before the water reaches his toes. He lets out a little squeak when the wave comes back and his feet disappear beneath the cold water. Adam is still sitting there watching him. “Come on!”

Adam shakes his head, yelling loud enough for Kris to hear him. “The water will fuck up my pants!”

Kris clicks his tongue. “Loser,” he mumbles to himself, turning to look back at the ocean. It’s dark out now, and the moon and stars are hovering above them, causing the water to glitter. It reminds Kris of Adam’s eyes.

Eventually Kris starts shivering, so he makes his way back to Adam, settling between his open legs. Adam pulls Kris back against his chest and rests his chin on Kris’s shoulder. “You’re crazy.”

Kris sighs, relaxing into Adam’s embrace. He closes his eyes and takes a few deep breathes. The scent of Adam’s cologne is mixed with the smell of the ocean and the night sky. Kris wants to bottle this scent and carry it around with him for the rest of his life.

The feeling of Adam’s warm lips against his neck startles him at first, but then he tilts his head to the side a bit to give Adam better access. Adam places several soft kisses along Kris’s neck and jaw, stopping when he gets to his ear.

“I love you,” Adam says, his voice raspy and thick with emotion.

His heart feels like it’s about to burst in his chest. Kris closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, trying to compose himself a little. He cranes his neck back to look at Adam. There is so much love in Adam’s eyes that Kris finds it hard to believe that it’s for him. Adam is looking at Kris in a way that every single person in the world desires to be looked at.

Kris hopes Adam sees the same in his eyes.

They kiss, and kiss, until Kris is lying with his back in the sand and Adam’s body pressed all along his. They take their time kissing and touching. Right now it feels like they have forever to do this. It feels like there is nothing in the world but the two of them and the waves crashing against the shore.

-

Adam presses Kris against the door of his bedroom, pulling back to gasp for air. “We need to be quiet,” he whispers, reaching around Kris to open the door and they stumble backwards, kicking it closed behind them once they are in Adam’s room.

He backs Kris up until Kris feels the bed press against the back of his legs, and Adam lowers Kris on his bed, crawling on top of him. Kris can’t even breathe and his head is spinning, but he wants this, all of this, more than he has ever wanted anything in his life.

Adam sits up, leaning back against his heels just to look at Kris. He’s staring down at Kris hungrily, but like he doesn’t know where to start. Kris reaches up to pull him back down and their mouths crash together. It’s rough and eager and Kris never wants to stop.

Kris lets his legs fall open and Adam settles himself between them. That’s when Kris feels it, Adam’s hard cock pressed against his stomach. Kris gasps into Adam’s mouth, scared shitless and exhilarated at the same time.

Without even thinking about it, he thrusts his hips up against Adam. Kris thinks that was a good idea at first, and he moves to do it again, but then Adam pulls back, his eyes wide.

Kris panics. “Did I do something wrong?”

Adam shakes his head. He’s panting and looking down at Kris with uncertainty in his eyes. “I just…” he starts, looking a little embarrassed. “I’ve never done anything like this before.”

That relaxes Kris a little, as long as it’s not _him_ that is freaking Adam out. He reaches up to gently touch the side of Adam’s face. Kris doesn’t want Adam to be scared of this, because it’s supposed to be awkward and it’s going to be messy and probably not very good at first, but that’s what Kris is looking forward to.

“Have you ever thought about it?” Kris asks, hoping it’s a yes. He thinks about it constantly, what it will finally be like to get Adam naked, and he doesn’t want to be the only one.

Adam’s lip twitch into a small smile. “Yeah,” he says. “I can’t really stop thinking about it.”

Kris pushes himself up on his elbows to capture Adam’s mouth in a kiss. “Just do the things you’ve thought about.”

Adam looks at him for a long while before leaning back down to kiss him. They take it slow, not doing anything they aren’t familiar with. Kris keeps his hands to himself, letting Adam be the one in charge. He doesn’t want to do anything Adam isn’t ready for.

Just when Kris starts to think it’s not going to go anywhere further than this, he feels Adam’s hand travel down to the fly of his jeans, shaking a little as he unclasps the button. Kris feels like he’s about to crawl out of his skin he wants this so bad.

“Is this okay?” Adam asks as he starts to unzip Kris’s fly.

Kris nods his head quickly. He peers down at Adam’s hand lingering right over Kris’s crotch. Kris can tell Adam knows what he wants to do, he has a look of determination in his eyes, but Adam just seems like he’s not sure if he’s allowed to.

“Do whatever you want,” Kris whispers into Adam’s mouth as he pulls him back in for another kiss.

Kris whimpers when Adam finally starts rubbing him through his jeans, the friction just enough to drive Kris insane. He rolls his hips up into Adam’s hand, trying to show him that he wants more. Adam slides his hand in Kris’s jeans, palming his erection through his underwear. Kris’s eyes practically roll to the back of his head. He didn’t realize how much he missed being touched like this.

Adam tears his mouth away from Kris’s and his hand stops its movements over Kris’s dick. Kris opens his mouth to protest, but then Adam scoots backwards on the bed until he is kneeling between Kris’s open legs. He makes a move for Kris’s pants, but stops himself, looking up at Kris and asking for permission with his eyes. Kris lets his head fall back on to the pillow and spreads his legs even wider. If that doesn’t tell Adam _Please just do it!_ then he doesn’t know what will.

He tucks his fingers into Kris’s pants and slowly slips them off of Kris’s hips, tossing them to the floor. His bottom lip is caught between his teeth and he has his hands raised a little, but not touching Kris. It’s like he doesn’t know which part of Kris to undress first.

“Sit up,” Adam tells him, and Kris does. He lifts Kris’s shirt up and over his head and throws it on the floor next to his pants. His trembling hands find their way to Kris’s shoulders and he gently lays Kris back down. He runs his hands slowly up and down Kris’s sides, and over his chest. They are large and strong, and they feel so good against Kris’s bare skin.

His hands stop when the tips of his fingers are aligned with the waistband of Kris’s boxers, hesitating a little before sliding them off and adding them to the pile of discarded clothes on the floor. The way Adam’s eyes are roaming Kris’s body makes his cheeks burn.

“You’re beautiful,” Adam whispers, the tips of his fingers teasing Kris’s inner thighs. Then bends forward a little to flick his tongue over Kris’s nipple, peering up at him through his eyelashes to see Kris’s reaction.

For a while Adam takes his time just kissing and touching Kris all over, leaving marks on his collarbone and stomach. Bit by bit, he gets lower on Kris’s body. If Adam doesn’t touch his dick soon, Kris is going to die.

Kris glances down, Adam’s head low on his stomach. He reaches for Adam’s face, cradling it with his hands and forcing Adam to look up at him. “Adam,” he begs. “Please.”

Adam licks his lips and brings his gaze down between Kris’s legs.

When Adam finally touches him, Kris whimpers and bites down hard on the inside of his lip, trying so hard not to make noise. Adam is stroking him slow and teasingly. Kris thinks he’s doing it just to torture him. Adam’s hand is clumsy and Kris can tell that he’s still nervous, but _fuck_ it’s the best handjob Kris has ever received in his life.

Adam starts jerking him faster, harder, until Kris’s breathing becomes erratic and the sheets are balled up in Kris’s fists, his toes curled into the mattress. With one last twist of Adam’s wrist, Kris is coming all over his stomach and Adam’s hand.

“Was that okay?” Adam asks, leaning over Kris’s body, brushing his hair back from his sweaty forehead.

Kris’s eyes flutter open, still trying to catch his breath. All he can do is a slight nod because right now he feels like a puddle in the middle of Adam’s bed. He hears Adam’s laughter in his ears, and then a warm mouth covering his own.

It doesn’t take long for Kris to regain his energy, suddenly very anxious to do the same for Adam. He flips their positions so that Adam is under him, still fully clothed. Kris wants Adam naked like ten minutes ago.

He struggles to get off the million necklaces Adam has on and they end up in a knot on the floor, but Adam doesn’t seem to care. Kris is straddling his lap, reaching down to the hemline of his shirt, but Adam grabs his wrists.

“What?” Kris asks as Adam brings their hands back to their laps. “What’s wrong?”

Adam doesn’t say anything. He just stares up at Kris looking a bit vulnerable and a lot scared, and that’s when Kris gets it. “Adam,” he sighs. “What are you afraid of? I’ve seen you shirtless like a thousand times.”

“Yeah, but then you weren’t _looking_ and touching,” Adam says in a small voice, and Kris can tell he’s embarrassed. “And I want to do this so bad, but…”

Kris brings a finger to Adam’s lips to shut him up, and then leans in for a soft kiss. “Trust me,” Kris says, smiling against Adam’s mouth. “I was looking,” and then his voice grows more serious, “and you’re beautiful.”

Adam looks into Kris’s eyes for a long time, and he must see something that makes him think that it’s okay, because he reaches down and pulls off his shirt. Kris grins and wraps his arms around Adam’s neck and they fall back down on the bed.

Kris doesn’t take his time like Adam had. He has been waiting way too long to do this and he doesn’t want to go another second. His hands travel all over Adam’s chest, enjoying the feel of the smooth, pale, freckled skin under his palms. He leans forward to pepper kisses along that skin.

His fingers fumble with Adam’s belt, pulling it through the loops and dropping it on the floor. Kris wastes no time unbuttoning Adam’s jeans. He’s surprised when his knuckles brush against the hot, soft skin of Adam’s cock instead of underwear. Kris never thought he’d have such a desire to touch another man like this, but his fingers are itching for it.

Adam’s cock is heavy and thick in his hand. It feels weird that he is holding a dick that isn’t his own, but it’s also kind of awesome. He pumps his fist a few times, smirking when he hears Adam’s sharp intake of breath. Then he gets an idea.

“Wait,” Kris says, crawling up towards the top of the bed, leaning his back against the headboard and spreads his legs. “C’mere.”

Adam looks at him quizzically for a moment, but then does as he’s told and sits between Kris’s legs and leans his back against Kris’s chest. Kris likes this angle much better. It reminds him of the countless times they have sat like this as he tried to teach Adam guitar. But now they are naked, and Adam is hard, and Kris can’t fucking wait to make him come.

Kris grasps Adam’s cock again, squeezing a little, and Adam’s head falls back onto Kris’s shoulder, his mouth slack and his chest heaving. Kris takes a moment to enjoy this scene right in front of his eyes. He’s the first to ever get this, to see Adam like this. He’s the first to feel Adam’s naked body under his hands, and to hear the little noises Adam makes. Nobody else will ever have this.

It doesn’t take Adam very long. He digs his fingernails into Kris’s thigh and bucks his hips up into Kris’s hand when he comes. Adam’s breaths are ragged and he’s shaking. Kris wraps his arms tight around Adam’s waist, not caring how sticky and messy both of them are.

“Holy shit,” Adam finally says when his breathing starts to go back to normal.

Kris kisses Adam’s shoulder, chuckling.

They eventually get up and clean themselves off. Kris puts his boxers on and throws the rest of his clothes in Adam’s hamper. Adam is sitting up in the bed when Kris walks back in the room, waiting for him. He knows that he’s supposed to sleep in the guest room. He knows that Adam’s mom will kill them if she finds them both in Adam’s bed. But, he also knows how much he misses snuggling up to Adam every night.

“Stay in here,” Adam says, his hair disheveled and his lips are swollen and red, looking so tempting. “Please?”

Kris can’t say no that face.

He turns off the light and finds his way to Adam in the dark.

* * *

Adam isn’t in bed with Kris when he wakes up. He pouts for a moment because the best part of sleeping in the same bed with someone is being able to roll over and they are right there to snuggle with.

He turns on his back and sprawls out. Adam’s bed is huge and comfortable, covered with pillows, which are mostly on the floor at the moment, and silky sheets. Even though Kris is supposed to be sleeping in the guest room, he has been staying in here for the past few nights. He attempted to go back to the guest room several times, but Adam wouldn’t allow it.

“You’re like a possessive caveman,” Kris had told him whenever Adam tugged him back in his bed.

Adam just pinned him to mattress and swooped his head down to sink his teeth into Kris’s neck. “Mmm,” he murmured against Kris’s skin. “Mine.”

And that led to one of the hottest moments in Kris’s life, which he forces himself to stop thinking about because it’s probably not very polite to jerk off in someone else’s bed when they aren’t there.

Kris finally rolls out of bed and puts on his sweatpants and one of Adam’s shirts that he finds on the floor. He brushes his teeth and washes his face before heading downstairs.

“Good morning, lazy ass,” Adam says as soon as Kris steps into the kitchen. He’s sitting at the table with Leila eating a bagel and orange juice.

Kris ignores the fact that Adam called him a lazy ass and goes over to give him a kiss anyway. At first he felt uncomfortable kissing or touching Adam in front of Leila, but he figures that a quick good morning kiss isn’t half as bad as when she walked in on them making out on Adam’s bed.

When they pull away, Adam’s eyes flicker down Kris’s body. “Is that my shirt?” he asks, a look in his eye that Kris has become quite familiar with recently. It seems like ever since Kris tapped into that side of Adam, that’s all he ever wants to do. Not that Kris is complaining, because the past few days have been _awesome_.

“There are bagels on the counter,” Leila says, making them both look up. “Help yourself.”

Kris gets back up and walks over to the counter, feeling Adam’s eyes on him the entire time.

“So,” Leila says, taking a sip of her coffee. “I noticed that the guest room has been empty lately.”

Kris’s eyes get wide and his hands stop in the middle of cutting his bagel. He turns to Adam, looking for a little help, but Adam is focusing on his breakfast, acting like he didn’t hear what she said.

“Um,” he starts, knowing that he can’t lie to her. He’s going to kill Adam for putting him on the spot like this. “It’s your son’s fault. He wouldn’t let me leave.”

Adam looks unfazed, popping the last bit of his bagel in his mouth. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Leila scoots her chair back and stands up. “Yeah, I’m sure,” she says as she heads out the room. “At least I don’t have to worry about you getting pregnant.”

Kris sighs, relieved that she isn’t mad about it. His mom would flip out if she knew Kris was sleeping in the same bed as Adam. Katy wasn’t even allowed in his room with the door closed, and when she slept over, Kris always had to sleep on the couch.

He doesn’t hear Adam’s footsteps, so Kris jumps a little when he feels two arms encircle his waist. “You look hot in my clothes,” Adam says, his lips brushing against Kris’s ear.

Kris tries to pretend like his heart isn’t racing in his chest. “You shouldn’t sneak up behind someone with a knife.”

Adam chuckles. “It’s a butter knife.”

“What if I accidentally jabbed you in the eye? I could’ve blinded you.”

“I’ll make a mental note not to be affectionate with you while you’re dealing with cutlery,” Adam says, laughter in his voice. “So, you better put the knife down.”

Kris looks down at his half buttered bagel. “Why?”

Adam takes the knife from Kris’s hand and places it on the counter. “Because now I’m going to kiss you and I don’t want to lose an ear.”

He spins Kris around and presses him into the counter, leaning down for a kiss. Adam lets out a soft little sigh against Kris’s lips. “I could do this all day,” he says when they pull away.

Kris reaches up to bury his fingers in Adam’s hair. “We _do_ do this all day.”

Adam smiles and goes back in for another. This is probably their thousandth kiss this week, and yet it still feels as new and exciting as the first one they shared in the airport. Kris finds himself constantly craving this, no matter how much of it he is given. If it were up to him, they would spend the rest of their time here locked in Adam’s room and never come up for air.

The edge of the counter is digging into Kris’s spine and he thinks that maybe they should carry this into Adam’s room. As much as he enjoys kissing Adam pretty much anywhere, he has recently discovered that kissing him while naked in bed is the best thing ever.

“Mom! They’re making out in the kitchen.”

Five days ago they would’ve sprung apart and pretend that they weren’t doing anything, but getting caught making out is becoming a regular occurrence in this house, so it doesn’t even faze them anymore.

Adam doesn’t even move, keeping Kris pressed up against the counter and his back turned towards Neil. “Go away, Neil,” he says. “You’re annoying.”

“You shouldn’t be doing that in the kitchen, where we _eat_.”

Adam groans and finally pulls back from Kris, turning to face Neil. “You’re just jealous that you don’t have anyone to make out with.”

Neil opens his mouth to retaliate, but their mom cuts him off. “Neil, leave the boys alone.”

“What?” Neil squeaks. “I’m the one getting in trouble while Adam is in here practically eating Kris’s face for breakfast.”

They watch Neil stomp out of the kitchen and then Adam turns back around to bury his face in Kris’s neck, pouting. “Can we go back to school now so we don’t get interrupted every five minutes?”

Kris rubs Adam’s back. “Oh yeah, I’m sure we’ll get a ton of privacy with Brad and Tommy as our roommates.”

Adam sags a little in Kris’s arms and lets out a small whine. “Fuck my life.”

-

Kris pops the cap of Adam’s shampoo bottle and hesitantly sniffs. It’s for color treated hair, but it doesn’t smell like flowers or anything, so Kris decides it’s okay to use. Unfortunately, he ran out of his shampoo and has to use Adam’s fancy stuff.

He moved all of his things into Adam’s room now that Leila knows about Kris sleeping in there. It’s nice seeing his stuff mixed in with Adam’s, even if it will only be until they go back to school. Kris secretly loves the way his green toothbrush looks next to Adam’s purple one in the holder.

“Hey, Kris?” he hears Adam call out from in the bathroom.

“Yeah?”

“People are going to be here for the party in like twenty minutes, so do you mind if I do my makeup while you shower?” Adam asks.

Kris isn’t sure why Adam is asking. It’s his bathroom and it’s not like he hasn’t seen Kris naked before. “I don’t care.”

He hears the door click closed and he stalls for a moment, thinking Adam might join him or something, but then he hears the makeup drawer open. He pouts as he rinses out the shampoo.

When he steps out of the shower, he looks up to see Adam shamelessly staring at him through the mirror.

“You could at least pretend not to look,” Kris says as he wraps the towel around his waist and takes a step closer to Adam.

Adam’s eyes travel from Kris’s face, to his chest, and to the places covered by the towel. He licks his lips. “This is the first time I’ve had a naked boy in my bathroom,” he says. “You’re crazy if you think I’m not going to take advantage of it.”

He stands there as Adam reaches out, trailing his fingers down Kris’s chest and stomach, droplets of water disappearing under his fingertips. Goosebumps rise on Kris’s skin. When Adam’s fingers brush over the soft material of the towel, he glances up quickly to meet Kris’s gaze. Someday Adam needs to realize that he doesn’t need to ask for permission. He can have anything he wants.

His finger dips down to slowly pull the towel from Kris’s waist, letting it fall to the floor. Kris has never thought of himself as ugly or anything, but he never felt hot until he had Adam’s eyes on him like this. There is pure hunger in Adam’s eyes, like there is nothing he wants more in life than this.

“People will be here soon,” Kris whispers, as if that’s good enough of a reason not to do this. It probably should be good enough of a reason, because Kris is pretty sure having swollen lips and fresh hickeys on his neck won’t make a very good first impression.

Adam closing in on him, his hands coming up to grasp Kris’s hips. “I don’t care.”

Kris’s eyes flutter closed, and just as he starts to feel Adam’s hot breath ghosting over his lips, his phone goes off. They both startle a little, the mood ruined completely.

Adam backs away from Kris, a scowl on his face. “Tell whoever it is that they are a cockblock and I hate them.”

He wraps the towel around his waist again and steps into Adam’s room, grabbing his phone off the nightstand. When he sees who it is, if the moment wasn’t already ruined, it definitely would be now.

“Hey, mom,” he answers, and hears Adam’s laughter from in the bathroom.

“Hi, sweetie,” she says. “How have you been? You haven’t been calling much.”

Kris feels kind of bad about that, but he’s never really been good at remembering to call people. “I’m sorry, but I’ve been kind of busy lately.”

“It’s alright. Is San Diego nice?”

Besides the beach they went to after their date the other night, Kris hasn’t seen very much of San Diego. “Yeah, it’s nice,” he says, deciding to lie because it would probably look bad to tell her that they never leave the house. “We went to the beach a few times.”

They continue to talk about how nice the weather here is compared to the crappy Arkansas weather while Kris gets dressed. When he is finished, he goes back in the bathroom and hops on the counter to watch Adam do his makeup.

“So, are you and Adam having a good time together?” she asks.

“Mhmm,” Kris smiles, reaching over to mess Adam’s hair up. “He’s the perfect host.”

Adam glares at him. “You bitch,” he whispers.

“Aw, tell him I said Happy New Year.”

Kris holds the phone away from his ear. “My mom says Happy New Year.”

Adam steps between Kris’s legs and leans in so his mouth is close to the phone. “Happy New Year to you, too!”

“So do you and dad have any plans?” Kris asks, holding the phone between his ear and shoulder so he can reach up and fix Adam’s necklaces that are tangled together. When he finishes separating the chains, he leans forward to place a soft kiss on Adam’s neck.

His mom is still talking in his ear, but Kris is vaguely aware of what she is actually saying. “Can I do your hair?” Adam says in a hushed voice so Kris’s mom doesn’t hear them talking.

Kris shakes his head. His hair doesn’t even need to be done; it just dries naturally and looks okay.

“Please?” Adam pouts. Kris hates that he’s so good at that.

He knows there is no fighting it, so he just rolls his eyes, which Adam knows is his way of saying yes. Someday he will be able to resist that pout. Adam reaches for some product in a black tube and squeezes a dime sized drop in his hand.

“That sounds fun,” Kris says once his mom stops talking. He’s pretty sure she was still talking about her plans for the night.

“What are you guys doing tonight?” she asks.

Adam lifts Kris’s chin up and runs his hands through it, carefully putting each strand in its proper place. Even though he hates getting his hair done, it feels nice.

“Just a party at Adam’s house.”

“Well, have a good time,” she says. “I just wanted to call and say Happy New Year in case I don’t get to talk to you later tonight.”

“You, too,” Kris says. “Tell dad and Daniel I said hi.”

They hang up and Adam steps back from Kris, a grin on his face. “You look fucking hot.”

Kris turns on the counter to look in the mirror. Honestly, he doesn’t think it looks that much different than usual, but he wouldn’t dare tell that to Adam. He looks way too proud of himself and Kris doesn’t want to make him sad.

Adam steps into Kris’s space again and brings his hands up to rest on Kris’s shoulders. “Are you excited about tonight?”

“I’m kind of nervous, actually,” Kris admits. “I want everyone to like me.”

Adam smiles. “They’ll love you,” he says. “And I’m fucking excited. I finally get a New Year’s kiss.”

Kris’s heart breaks a little. “You’ve never had a New Year’s kiss?”

Adam shrugs a shoulder like it’s no big deal. “You’re my first boyfriend, so it’s not like I ever had anyone to kiss.”

Kris pulls Adam closer so that their foreheads are touching. “Well, you’re going to get one tonight, and next year, and twenty years from now,” he smiles. “And when we’re old men in a nursing home, we’ll watch the ball drop together in our wheelchairs.”

He meant for it to come off as a joke, for them to laugh at the images of them together in their old age. But once the words leave his lips, he realizes what he’s saying. He knows that the chances are slim, and that they are still teenagers and have only known each other for five months. Maybe he’s just being young and stupid. But Kris can’t imagine being with anyone else, he never wants to be with anyone else. His parents met when they were around this age, and look at them now. Twenty years later, they are still just as much in love as they were back then.

As he looks at Adam’s face, his completely fucking adorable face, it hits Kris hard that, _wow,_ he thinks, _this could be the person I spend the rest of my life with._

It scares Kris how much he wants that.

Adam exhales shakily, looking like he’s about to cry. “Promise?”

Kris brings his hands up to either side of Adam’s face and rubs their noses together, a little eskimo kiss.

“I promise.”

-

Kris stays tucked under Adam’s arm for pretty much the first hour or so of the party. He feels a bit overwhelmed meeting all of these people. They all seem to know each other so well, and Kris feels a bit like an outsider.

Adam proudly introduces Kris as his boyfriend to everyone they talk to. Kris is greeted with handshakes, hugs, and even some kisses on the cheek. At least they are all really friendly, and everyone seems to adore Adam. They all listen to his stories from college and hang on to his every word. It’s nice to be surrounded by people who care for him just as much as he does.

Occasionally Adam will lean in and whisper a warning about someone before he introduces Kris to them. “That’s my Aunt Sherry. She’s okay now, but once she has a few drinks in her, she likes to take off her clothes,” and, “That’s my friend Jonathon from school. Don’t let him touch you below the waist, because he will try.”

Kris just smiles politely and tries not to think about Adam’s aunt with her clothes off, and carefully watches Jonathon’s hands.

He can tell who Adam’s dad is before he is even introduced to him. They have the same build, similar facial features. Kris suddenly feels a knot in his stomach. There is no reason for him to be nervous. Adam has said nothing but good things about his dad. Kris just can’t shake the feeling of wanting to impress him, to show him that he is good enough for his son.

Adam’s fingers gently press into Kris’s lower back, leading him to the direction of his dad. Kris watches Adam step forward and give his dad a hug, patting him on the back a few times before pulling away. They smile and chat for a moment before Adam turns to Kris, a bright smile on his face.

“Dad, this is Kris,” he says. “Kris, this is my dad.”

They both reach their hands out at the same time. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Mr. Lambert,” Kris says once they let go.

He waves his hand at Kris and makes a displeased sound. “Mr. Lambert makes me sound so old,” he laughs. “Just call me Eber.”

Kris nods, feeling a little more relaxed.

Eber slaps Adam on the back, chuckling. “Adam has told me all about you.”

Kris has lost count of how many people have told him that tonight, but it still makes him smile and still makes Adam blush.

“So, why don’t we get some drinks!” Adam says, pulling Kris away in a hurry before he can respond to Eber. Once they are in the kitchen, Adam pours them two glasses of red wine. “I swear, everyone is on a mission to embarrass the hell out of me tonight.”

Kris shakes his head, smiling as he comes up to wrap his arms around Adam from behind. “Don’t be embarrassed,” he mumbles into the soft material of Adam’s shirt. “I like that you talk about me to other people.”

“Well, I don’t like that they tell you how much I talk about you,” Adam turns in Kris’s arms with a wine class in each hand. “But, I guess it’s not that embarrassing. Danielle is the only one who knows the details.”

Kris raises an eyebrow. “Details?”

Adam takes a sip from his glass. “Yeah, like the noises you make when I-”

He hastily covers Adam’s mouth with his hand, glaring up at him. Even though there is nobody in the room with them, it’s a party, so anyone could be in earshot, and that is something that nobody but Adam needs to know.

“You did not.”

Kris feels Adam’s lips stretch into a smile under his hand. “No, of course not,” he says when Kris pulls his hand away, but he doesn’t sound very convincing.

“You’re a jerk,” Kris says, taking a step back and crossing his arms over his chest.

Adam laughs. “You love me,” he says, tilting his head down with his lips puckered out for a kiss. He looks so stupid and cute that Kris has no choice but to kiss him. They pull back after a couple of seconds and Adam hands Kris one of the glasses.

“Your mom doesn’t care if we drink?” Kris asks.

“She doesn’t care as long as you aren’t throwing up or anything,” Adam says. He reaches down to take Kris’s hand and laces their fingers together. “Now, let’s go mingle.”

-

An hour later Kris finds himself standing in the living room with Eber and one of Adam’s uncles, drinking beers and talking about music. Eber used to be a DJ in college and knows practically every band in existence, and Adam’s uncle, Steve, was in a band growing up. He lost track of Adam a while ago, but after a glass of wine and a couple of beers, Kris feels comfortable just hanging around and talking.

Steve tells Kris about one of the shows he played when he was in a band. He used to travel around in a little van with four of his best friends and play in crappy small venues. Kris listens in awe.

“I’ve always wanted to start a band, but I’ve never had anyone to be in one with.”

“You and Adam should start one,” Eber says. “Adam would probably have to sing since he doesn’t know how to play any instruments, but he mentioned that you play the guitar.”

“You really should,” Steven says. “Even if it’s just you guys and a few friends hanging out and playing music once in a while. It’s really the best time you’ll ever have.”

Making music with Adam would be incredible. It’s making him want to run upstairs and get his guitar right now, but that might be a bit rude.

“That sounds awesome. I’ll talk to Adam about it later.”

Kris excuses himself a few minutes later when Eber and Steve start discussing something work related. There are a ton of people here now, and Kris can’t find Adam anywhere. Everybody knows each other and are talking and laughing, and Kris feels a little out of place.

Finally, he spots Adam outside, sitting around a table with Leila, Danielle, that guy Jonathon, and a woman Kris hasn’t met yet. He walks out there and comes up behind him, resting his hands on Adam’s shoulders.

Adam lets his head fall backwards on the chair, staring up at Kris with a smile, drunk and happy. “Hey, baby,” he says, reaching his hands up to place them over Kris’s, pulling him around and on to his lap. “Having fun?”

Kris wraps his arm around Adam’s neck and shifts a little on his lap to get more comfortable. “We should start a band.”

Adam looks confused. “Um… okay?”

Kris pets his face. “I’ll bring it up again when you have less wine in you.”

Adam sighs and loops his arms around Kris’s waist, squeezing tight.

“Aren’t they so cute?” Kris hears someone say and, oh, there are people here. He forgot. They are all staring at the two of them with hearts in their eyes, like they are watching some romance movie or something.

“Kris is like the sweetest guy ever,” Danielle says, grinning up at him. “He’s perfect for Adam.”

Kris is glad she thinks that, even after the whole kissing Justin thing.

“So, you guys met at school?” the woman who Kris doesn’t know asks.

“Yeah, he is in the room next to mine and we share a bathroom.”

She takes a sip of her wine. “How did you guys get together?”

“Long story,” Adam says from under him. “A very, very long story.”

“Oh, I don’t mean to pry. It’s fine if you don’t feel comfortable telling me.”

“No, it’s fine,” Kris says. “It’s just that I had a girlfriend when I first met Adam and, um…” he pauses, not sure if this makes him sound like an asshole.

“Wait, so you had a girlfriend?” Jonathon butts in.

Kris nods. “Yeah, but she lives in Arkansas, so it was a long distance thing.”

Jonathon puts his wine glass on the table and leans forward in the chair, suddenly very intrigued by all of this. “Okay, so you went off to college with a girl back at home, and then you fall for a guy?”

Kris really wants to be back inside talking about music again. “I guess that’s kind of what happened, yeah.”

“Did you ever like any guys before?”

Kris shakes his head. “No, only Adam.”

Everyone is staring at him, Leila and Danielle seem less interested because they already know the story, but Jonathon and the nameless woman are gawking at Kris with drunk, glazed over eyes.

“Wow,” Jonathon finally says. “That’s like something you’d read in a Nicholas Sparks novel.”

-

As midnight inches closer, Adam and Kris go inside and steal a bottle of wine. Adam drags Kris into the living room, everyone else in the kitchen, and they curl up on the loveseat, passing the bottle back and forth until it’s gone.

Kris leans over to put the bottle on the coffee table and then sits back, draping his legs over Adam’s. He brings his hand up to Adam’s face, his cheeks warm and flushed. They lean in at the same time and their lips brush together for a sweet kiss. Kris pulls back and just looks at Adam, at his sleepy smile, the eyeliner smudged around his eyes, and the sparkly Happy New Year crown on top of his head that makes him look absolutely ridiculous.

They start kissing again, slow and lazy, tasting the sweetness from the wine on Adam’s tongue. Adam’s hands are on his face and neck, sliding up his shirt. They kiss for so long that the room starts to spin, or maybe that’s the alcohol.

Everyone in the house starts migrating into the living room. Kris pulls away reluctantly, staring at Adam’s kiss swollen lips and already wanting more. He’s eager for everyone to leave so they can go upstairs and have the rest of the night to themselves.

“Five more minutes!”

Someone turns on the television and Ryan Seacrest is on the screen with thousands of people crowding the streets of New York City. Kris has always wanted to go there, to see the ball drop in person. Maybe he can take Adam someday.

Adam has his arm around Kris, warm and heavy on his shoulders. Kris looks up at him and he’s got one of those shiny plastic noise makers in his mouth, staring blankly at the television. Every time Adam exhales, the end of it rolls out a little, making a purring sound, and then rolls back in with each inhale.

Kris looks back at the clock on the television. Only twelve seconds left.

“...ten…nine…”

Adam is perks up a little, his arm tight around Kris’s neck and their faces pressed together, cheek to cheek, watching the ball drop lower and lower with each second.

“…six…five…four…”

Everyone is loud, counting down with a drink in their hand and their arms wrapped around someone they love. Kris is certain that this is the start of what is going to be the best year of his life.

“…three…two…”

Adam kisses him before they get to one.

* * *

Packing stresses Adam out. That is why Kris finds him curled up on the floor, using a stack of clothing as a pillow at eight in the morning. All week Kris has been telling him to start packing, but Adam kept saying he had plenty of time. Now, they are leaving in a few hours and there are more of Adam’s clothes on the floor than in the suitcase.

Kris climbs out of bed and goes over to where Adam is lying on the floor. He crouches down and gently shakes his shoulder. “Babe, wake up.”

Adam groans and lifts his head a little, looking up at Kris blearily. “Comfy,” he mumbles, and then drops his head back down on his clothes.

Kris has absolutely no idea how the floor can be more comfortable than the bed, but he has learned not to question Adam anymore and to just go with it instead. He stands up straight and surveys the room. There are clothes _everywhere_. They are on the foot of the bed, on the floor, his dresser drawers are pulled open, hangers strewn across the room.

He picks up a few shirts and folds them neatly, putting them in one of Adam’s suitcases. For the next half hour, he straightens up Adam’s room and packs the things he knows Adam will need. He tries to pack only the clothes he knows Adam wears a lot, leaving the rest for Adam to decide what he wants to bring.

His eyelids start to get heavy again and he looks back and forth between Adam on the floor and the bed. Unfortunately for him, he’s in love with that stupid boy on the floor, so there really isn’t much to consider. He pulls the comforter off the bed and grabs his pillow because he is not sleeping on a pile of clothes. Most of Adam’s clothing has spikes and studs and he doesn’t want to lose an eye.

Kris lies down on the floor and sighs. He thinks he deserves at least a blowjob for this because, _seriously_ , the things he does for Adam.

He throws the blanket over the both of them and snuggles in close to Adam’s side.

“Thank you,” Adam whispers.

Kris leans in and presses a kiss to his shoulder. “Go back to sleep.”

-

Saying goodbye to Leila and Neil is harder than Kris anticipated it to be. Somehow, he has managed to bond with Neil in the last couple of days he spent here. When Danielle was over, she and Adam would hang out on the couch talking while Kris and Neil would play video games. Of course, Neil is a huge asshole, but he’s actually very smart. Kris learns new things every time he talks to him.

“Are you coming here for spring break?” Neil asks when they pull back from their hug.

Kris shrugs. He would absolutely love to come back here for spring break. The weather will be even nicer and he doesn’t really want to spend the week away from Adam. But, his mom probably wouldn’t like him not coming home at all for four months. Maybe by then he can get Adam to come home with him.

“I don’t know, yet,” Kris says. “I hope I can.”

Neil nods. “Well, it was cool meeting you. I guess if my brother has to have a boyfriend, he could’ve chosen someone worse.

Kris isn’t sure if that is a compliment or not. “Thanks,” he laughs. “I think.”

Then he turns to Leila and she pulls him into a crushing hug. “Thank you so much for having me,” he says.

She rocks them back and forth a little. “It was no problem at all. You can come whenever you want,” she says. “Even though you don’t follow my rules.”

Kris cringes and he pulls back. “I am sorry about that. It’s just…”

Leila smiles. “I know, sweetie,” she says. “I really didn’t expect you to sleep in there anyway.”

They hug again and she gives Kris a big squeeze. “And thank you for making my son so happy,” she says, her voice low for only Kris to hear.

He glances over her shoulder at Adam kneeling on the floor, struggling to zip up his last suitcase. Kris smiles. “He makes it easy.”

“See you later, brat,” Kris hears Adam say to Neil, his arm hooked around Neil’s neck and giving him a noogie.

“Ow!” Neil yells and pushes Adam away. “Why do you have to be such a dick?”

Leila steps between them. “Okay, that’s enough. Now get going so you don’t hit too much traffic.”

“It’s LA,” Adam says. “There is always traffic.”

Leila shakes her head. “You’re such a pain in the ass, you know that?” She tries to sound mad, but it doesn’t work with the huge smile on her face as she leans in to hug her son. Kris watches them and he feels a sting of jealousy of just how close they are. Leila doesn’t even think twice at the fact that Adam is gay. There is never any awkwardness or uncertainty of what to say, like there is with Kris and his mom. He wonders if they will ever get to this point.

“I love you, mom,” Adam mumbles, pulling back to kiss her on the cheek. “I’ll call you when we get there.”

“I love you, too,” she says. “Drive safe.”

They gather their bags, having to take two trips each for Adam’s stuff, and say one last goodbye to Leila and Neil.

-

“I have to pee,” Kris says.

“We just left ten minutes ago.”

“So?”

“Why didn’t you go then?”

“I didn’t have to go then.”

Adam sighs. “Are you going to be annoying the whole trip?”

Kris grins. “Probably.”

-

As soon as Kris leaves the bathroom, he finds the junk food aisle at the gas station they stopped at. He picks up Cheetos, Sour Patch Kids, and beef jerky, which are road trip essentials in Kris’s opinion. He takes his time looking through the aisle once more to make sure he doesn’t want anything else before he goes to find Adam.

Thankfully Adam is tall and he can see his head over one of the aisles, looking down at something. Kris walks up to him. “Hey, I got some-” he starts, but then he sees what Adam is looking at.

Condoms.

Adam’s face gets red and his eyes widen. He looks like his parents just caught him watching porn. “I was just looking. I mean, I thought that, like, maybe… just in case, you know?” he stammers. “We don’t have to do it until we’re both ready or anything, and we might not even need them because, well, I’ve never been with anyone and you’ve only-”

“Adam,” Kris says, cutting him off. “Calm down. It’s just condoms.”

He looks so flustered and embarrassed. Kris wants to hug him.

“I know, but I didn’t want you to think I’m trying to push you into something you don’t want to do,” he explains. “What we have been doing is _amazing_ and I thought we should be prepared in case we…”

“Then let’s buy some,” Kris says.

Adam looks surprised. “Really?”

Kris nods. “Yeah.”

He knows the only way either of them could have anything is if Katy secretly slept with guys behind his back, but he figures that when they do this, they should do it right.

When he reaches for a box, he realizes his hands are shaking. It’s not that he’s embarrassed to be buying condoms; it’s the fact that they are actually going to be doing this. It may not happen tomorrow, or even next week, but now they are going to be prepared for it, whenever it does happen. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t at least a little bit scared.

“Should we get…” Adam reaches out for a bottle of lube, but retracts his hand quickly. Looking at him, the blush on his cheeks and his fidgeting hands, is so endearing to Kris. Adam is so sweet and inexperienced, and so curious about everything. He is always so eager to learn new things about Kris’s body, and find new ways of making him feel amazing.

They get back to the car a few minutes later, and Adam is being quiet. Before he can start the car, Kris leans over the console between them.

“Hey,” Kris says, reaching over to curl his fingers around the back of Adam’s neck to pull him closer. He doesn’t say anything else, and just stares for a moment, his thumb softly stroking Adam’s cheek. Kris leans in for a kiss to quell Adam’s panic, or fear, or embarrassment. Adam needs to know that Kris wants this just as much as he does.

Adam breaks the kiss and smiles at Kris before going back in for another.

He eventually starts the car and backs up while Kris opens his bag of beef jerky. Adam scrunches his nose at the smell. “If you think I’m kissing you after you eat that, you are highly mistaken.”

Kris bites off a big piece.

-

“So, I have been thinking…”

Kris isn’t sure if he should be worried. “About?”

Adam takes his eyes off the road really quick to look at him. “Now, you can tell me I’m crazy or think that it’s too soon.”

“Just say it,” Kris says.

Adam takes a deep breath and tightens his grip on the steering wheel. “I was thinking that maybe next year, instead of staying in the dorms, we could get an apartment.”

Kris was not expecting that. “Oh… like, just you and me?”

“Well, I was looking up apartment prices and even if we both got jobs, I don’t think we’d get paid enough to afford it on our own, so I was thinking of mentioning it to Brad and Tommy,” Adam says. “But, it would be our own place, you know? We could hang up pictures and decorate however we wanted.”

Kris takes a moment to consider it. They practically live together now anyway, so living in an apartment wouldn’t make that much of a difference. Only, they wouldn’t have to share a small bathroom between four people. Also, they could have a bed. It would be a big bed and not the small ones in their dorm rooms.

“I think that is an awesome idea,” Kris says.

Adam’s face lights up. “Yeah?”

Kris would agree to anything to see Adam this excited.

“We could get a three bedroom,” Adam continues. “So then Brad and Tommy could have their own room, and we could share.”

Who knows if this will actually happen, but it excites Kris to think about it. He likes imagining their future, and where they will be in a year from now.

“And we could get a puppy!” Adam suggests, grinning from ear to ear. “We could name her Darla.”

Kris chuckles. “Darla?”

“I’ve always wanted a dog named Darla.”

Kris lets all of this sink in. He reaches over to grab Adam’s hand and laces their fingers together. “So, next year we are getting an apartment and a puppy named Darla?”

Adam nods happily. “Yup.”

Kris squeezes his hand. “Sounds like a plan.”

-

They stop at McDonalds when they are about an hour away from home. Kris demands that he needs real food instead of the beef jerky and cheetos, and Adam argues that McDonalds isn’t real food, but stops anyway.

“You’re like a garbage disposal,” Adam says as Kris devours his burger. “I don’t know where all that shit you eat goes. You’re tiny as hell.”

Kris glares at him. “I’m not tiny.”

Adam snorts. “Keep telling yourself that, baby.”

Kris takes a sip of his soda and ignores Adam for a few minutes because he’s a jerk. He chows down on his fries while Adam pokes around at his salad.

Adam eventually puts his fork down and looks up at Kris. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Do you talk to Katy anymore?” Adam asks.

Kris raises an eyebrow. “No,” he says slowly. “Why?”

Adam shrugs a shoulder and goes back to his salad. “I don’t know. You guys were best friends for so long and then you just stopped talking. I feel like it’s my fault.”

“We broke up,” Kris says. “That’s what happens when people break up.”

“I know, but I just think you should call her sometime. Even though I sort of hated her guts for a while, she’s really sweet and I think you should try being friends again.”

Kris is stuck on the Adam hating Katy’s guts part. “Wait, you hated her?”

“Well, yeah,” he says. “You guys were like the cutest couple ever and it pissed me off because I never thought I’d have you.”

Kris laughs. “Aw, you’re cute when you’re jealous.”

Adam sinks down in the booth a little. “Fuck off.”

“So, you want me to start talking to my ex-girlfriend?” Kris asks. He’s pretty sure that nobody in the history of relationships has ever wanted someone to talk to their ex again.

“I don’t want you to call her every night or anything, but, I don’t know, just see if she’s okay,” Adam says. “It can’t be that easy to be with someone for so long and then break up because they fall for another guy. I know that if you left me for girl, I’d be devastated.”

Kris shakes his head. “I don’t think that will ever happen.”

“How do you know?” Adam asks, taking a sip of his water. “I bet you never thought you’d be with a boy.”

“Yeah, that’s the thing,” Kris says, glancing around real quick to make sure nobody is around them. “I’ve recently discovered that I’m quite fond of dick.”

Adam chokes on his drink.

-

“Can I drive?”

“No.”

Kris pouts. “Why not?”

“Because I don’t trust you.”

“I’m your boyfriend and you don’t trust me?”

“Not when it comes to driving my car.”

Kris sulks until he gets an idea.

Twenty minutes later, Adam is panting in the passenger seat while Kris puts the key in the ignition with a satisfied smirk on his lips.

-

Kris pulls up to their building and it feels a lot like coming home. He hadn’t realized how much he missed it until now. If he never went to San Diego, he would’ve had to wait until today to finally see Adam again. He thanks god that he didn’t have to go that long without him.

Adam is curled up in the passenger seat with his knees pulled up to his chest and his head tilted awkwardly to the side. Kris pets Adam’s hair until his eyes flutter open.

“We’re here,” Kris says softly, his fingers still threading through Adam’s hair, “and I didn’t even crash the car.”

Adam smiles sleepily and stretches his arms. “Yay,” he yawns. “We’re home.”

Kris leans over to lay his head on Adam’s headrest. He just wants five more minutes alone with him because who knows when they’ll be able to get it again. They were spoiled in San Diego with all of the time they got together. Now there is going to be school and friends and everything else in the world getting in the way.

“I guess we should go in now,” Adam says, but looks just as unwilling to get out of the car as Kris does.

Kris sighs. “Yeah, I guess.”

Adam leans in until their noses are touching. “I want a kiss first.”

They take their time, neither of them in a hurry.

-

Brad throws rice in their faces as soon as they step through the door.

“What the fuck?” Adam laughs, dropping his bags on the floor.

Kris looks around the room. There are a couple of balloons and a banner that says ‘Congratulations’ taped to the wall. Allison and Tommy are standing behind Brad holding a bottle of wine and white cupcakes.

“What are you congratulating us for?” Kris asks.

Brad throws another handful of rice at them. “For you guys finally getting together. It’s like your wedding shower.”

“And why the hell are you throwing rice at us?” Adam asks, reaching forward and snatching the box of minute rice from Brad.

Brad puts his hands on his hips. “Because that’s what you do when people get married.”

“We didn’t get married,” Kris points out.

Brad rolls his eyes. “What the fuck ever,” he says. “It’s basically just an excuse to get drunk. I went to the store to get wine and I thought it would be funny, but you guys fucking ruined it.”

“Sorry,” Adam and Kris say at the same time.

And then Brad’s face lights up and he throws himself at Kris. “But you guys are back!”

Kris squeezes Brad and lifts him off his feet a little. He really missed his roommate. Brad moves on to Adam, and Kris goes to hug Allison and Tommy.

The five of them sit down on the floor after saying their hellos and asking how their breaks were. Brad opens the wine and Allison passes around the cupcakes. “We tried to find little grooms to put on them, but the dollar store didn’t have any,” she explains.

Kris and Adam share a glance and laugh.

“How did you buy wine?” Kris asks Brad when he’s handed a cup. “You’re not old enough.”

“I acquired a fake ID while I was in Texas,” Brad says. “It only cost me five dollars and a blowjob.”

Kris can’t figure out if that’s a joke or not.

“So, we have to settle something,” Tommy says. “You guys are sleeping in Brad’s room now. I am not sharing a room with you now that you get naked together.”

“Why don’t you and Brad share a room so we can have this room to ourselves?” Adam asks, and Kris thinks that is the best idea he has ever heard.

“Uh, excuse you,” Brad cuts in. “You guys need to discuss this shit with me before you fight over who stays in my room.”

Tommy shakes his head. “I am not staying with Brad. He’s loud and will probably try to molest me in my sleep.”

Brad’s mouth drops. “Uh, hi. I’m right here,” he says. “And I roomed with Kris for months and I have never once tried to molest him in his sleep, thank you very much.”

Maybe not in his sleep, but Kris can recall quite a few “accidental” ass grabs.

“And if you ever try to, I will kick your ass,” Adam keeps his voice light, but Kris can tell by his face that he’s serious.

Brad laughs. “Possessive, much?”

-

Later that night, Kris unpacks all of his things in his room. They decided to keep the roommate situation the way it was before and the two of them can sleep in Adam’s room, but they have to keep their hands to themselves as long as Tommy is in there.

Kris plops down on his bed and closes his eyes for a moment. He thinks about this time last semester, when he first came here and met all of these people. That boy with the black gunky dye in his hair is Kris’s boyfriend now. He remembers being so fascinated by Adam, and the fact that he not only dyed his hair, but his eyebrows too. Now he doesn’t think twice about those things. That’s just Adam, and Kris loves him.

Brad comes in the room from the bathroom, walking over to Kris. “I know that you’re a married man now, but would your boyfriend kill me if we cuddled?” he asks. “Because I really missed my roomie and I need some time with him.”

Kris grins and opens his arms for Brad. “If he tries to kill you, he’ll have to get through me first.”

“My knight in shining armor,” Brad says as he crawls in the bed and snuggles up against Kris. “So, tell me all about your vacation.”

Kris wraps an arm loosely around Brad’s shoulders. “It was amazing,” he says. “When we went on our date last week, he took me to this awesome restaurant and they seated us outside and we were right by the ocean.”

He can feel Brad’s lips stretch into a smile against his chest. “You’re a lucky guy, Kris,” Brad says sincerely. “Adam’s been dreaming of having a boyfriend to spoil ever since he realized he liked boys. If I thought I would be any good for him, I would’ve snatched him up the moment I met him.”

Even though Kris is glad Brad and Adam were never together, he can’t help but ask, “Why don’t you think you’d be any good for him?”

“I’m way too selfish for a guy like him,” Brad says. “I know I would’ve broken his heart, even if I never intended to. Adam is the kind of guy who believes in true love and a fairytale ending. I don’t think I ever could’ve given him that.”

Kris realizes that he’s holding his breath. “Did you ever…”

“No,” Brad says quickly. “You would’ve known by now if anything happened between us. There was a time when I thought it could happen, though, but I think we both ignored it until the feelings went away.”

Kris isn’t sure why Brad is telling him all of this now. He doesn’t feel jealous of it; it’s more that he’s relieved that nothing did happen between them. If Brad and Adam were together then Kris’s world would be completely different right now.

“Do you want a boyfriend?” Kris asks.

Brad thinks for a moment. “Sometimes,” he replies. “Especially after nights like tonight and seeing how you and Adam are together. It makes me think that maybe one day I’ll find someone who looks at me like that, and loves my crazy ass more than anything else in the world.”

Kris’s heart feels heavy. This is the Brad he has only seen a few times. It’s the Brad that puts his guard down completely and lets himself be vulnerable.

“You’ll find that,” Kris tells him, believing it with his whole heart. “I know you will.”

Brad sighs. “Yeah, I guess. I’m way too fabulous to be the lady with fifty cats.”

Kris laughs but squeezes Brad a little tighter, knowing that he’s putting his guard back up. Kris feels fortunate that he is one of the people Brad trusts enough to be open with because he knows that there aren’t very many.

“So,” Brad says, “whose dick is bigger?”

Kris blushes, but doesn’t say anything.

Brad whips his head up. “Oh my god, you actually know.”

He purses his lips together, refusing to say a word.

“Oh, come on, Kris. You’re _killing_ me. I need details!”

Eventually Brad gives up, sighing as he lies back down. “You’re no fun.”

Kris blinks once, twice.

“He’s really good with his tongue.”

Brad flails.

-

Kris tugs his shirt off and throws it on the floor. Adam’s eyes are on him as he begins unbuttoning his jeans.

“Boxers stay on,” Tommy warns Kris.

Kris rolls his eyes. He was fully intending on keeping his boxers on. Well, at least until they were under the covers. He kicks his jeans off and gets in next to Adam. The bed is much smaller than he remembers.

“Hands stay above the waist at all times,” Tommy continues. “If I hear heavy breathing or any gross, wet sex sounds, Kris is going back to his room.”

“Yes, sir,” Adam says, smiling innocently as Tommy gets up to turn off the lights.

When Tommy gets back in bed, he puts his iPod on and turns so he’s facing away from them. Adam leans down to kiss Kris.

“We said we wouldn’t,” Kris whispers against Adam’s lips.

“I’m allowed to kiss you goodnight.”

Adam is right. Tommy didn’t say anything about kissing. It starts off with just a few soft, chaste kisses. Adam’s hand travels down to Kris’s stomach and keeps it there, which, okay, is innocent enough. But then he feels Adam’s hand move lower, teasing the inside of Kris’s thigh with the tips of his fingers.

Kris half heartedly pushes him away. “Adam.”

“What?” Adam asks as he dips his head down to pepper Kris’s neck with kisses. “Tommy is listening to his iPod. He won’t even be able to hear us.”

Adam’s fingers keep going higher on Kris’s thigh to the more sensitive skin. Kris is getting hard and Adam knows exactly what he’s doing to make Kris want more. Each time they get their hands on each other, Adam gets a little more daring and seems to enjoy being the one to take control.

Right now Kris feels like a character in a movie when they have the devil on one shoulder, and an angel on the other, bickering back and forth telling Kris what to do. The side with the angel is telling him that Tommy is six feet away and he just flat out told them to keep their hands to themselves. But, the side with the devil is enjoying the hell out of what Adam’s fingers and lips are doing to him right now. And then, Adam’s fingers just barely brush against Kris’s cock through his boxers. Something inside of him snaps and he flips them over so he’s lying on top of Adam.

“Fuck the rules.”

* * *

Kris flushes the toilet and walks back out into the room, yawning and rubbing the sleepies from his eyes.

“Why are you taking a class this early?” he asks, squeezing in the small space between Adam and the sink to wash his hands.

It’s not even seven o’clock yet. Kris doesn’t even remember the last time he saw the world at this time of day. He doesn’t have to be up right now, but Adam accidentally woke him when he got out of bed and then Kris couldn’t fall back asleep.

“All of the other English classes were full,” Adam says from behind him, smudging his eyeliner with his finger. “I had no choice.”

Kris looks at Adam through the mirror. “Your class doesn’t start for another hour, though.”

“I’m meeting Alli for coffee first.”

Classes started a week ago and Kris already wishes for the semester to end. He thinks he could’ve gone another month with being able to sleep as late as he wants, and laze around all day with Adam. Now he has to spend a majority of his day away from Adam, and he doesn’t like it.

He slips back in bed and pulls the blankets over his lap. “I think you should skip class and spend the rest of the day in bed with me.”

Adam whimpers, staring at Kris and the bed longingly. “You have no idea how tempting that is.”

Kris holds his hands out and Adam walks over to him, taking both of Kris’s hands in his. “You’re not going to use any of the stuff they teach you in the real world, anyway,” Kris says, trying the best he can to get Adam to go along with it. He wants Adam out of his clothes and back in bed right now. “It’s really just a waste of time.”

Adam bends down for a kiss. “When did you become such a terrible influence?”

Kris wraps his arms around Adam’s neck. “Around the time I started dating you.”

When Adam leans in for another kiss, Kris thinks that he has won and he starts to lie back, tugging Adam down with him. He spreads his legs and Adam settles between them.

“No,” Adam mumbles against Kris’s lips, pushing himself off of the bed. “I’ve got to go.”

“But-”

“No,” Adam says in a tone that makes Kris feel like a dog getting scolded. His eyes flicker down to Kris’s tented boxers and he smirks. “I’m leaving now, so you can jerk off and go back to sleep.”

Adam turns to leave and yells over his shoulder as he walks out the door, “Oh, and we’re all going dancing tonight. You’re going and I don’t want to hear any bitching.”

And Kris is left there alone, staring at the door.

“Okay.”

-

He gets a couple more hours of sleep – his first class not until noon – but is woken up this time by Tommy.

“I fucking hate you,” Tommy tells Kris. “Brad _sings_ in his sleep.”

Kris laughs. He hasn’t slept in the same room as Brad for so long, he forgot about all of his annoying habits.

Tommy tugs his shirt off over his head and throws it to the floor. “I don’t even know why I let you kick me out of my own room. God forbid you and Adam sleep in separate beds.”

“We didn’t kick you out,” Kris says, and it’s true. Tommy chose to switch rooms yesterday after walking in on the two of them. It’s not their fault. Tommy said he wouldn’t be home until late last night.

Tommy pulls on another shirt and sits on the bed to lace up his shoes. “You guys are obsessed. That’s all you ever do now. It’s kind of gross.”

Kris doesn’t think it’s gross. He thinks it’s awesome. They probably should tone it down a little, but they can’t help it. It’s still so new to the both of them. Like when Kris got his first guitar. All he ever wanted to do was play and play and play, and even when he couldn’t, all he thought about was playing it, and the next time he would be able to.

“Sorry,” Kris says, because there isn’t really anything else to say.

Tommy sighs and stands up. “It’s okay, I guess,” he says. “Adam is fucking deliriously happy, so I can’t be too mad about it.”

Kris takes pride in the fact that he’s the reason Adam is so happy.

“Anyway,” Tommy continues. “I’m going to class. And, if you don’t mind, put a sock on the doorknob or something next time, okay? I saw more of your naked ass yesterday than I ever needed to.”

“Yes, sir.”

Just before Tommy closes the door, he pops his head back in. “Oh, and by the way. The walls are, like, paper thin. And, dude, you are loud as fuck.”

Kris buries his face in his pillow and groans.

Tommy laughs. “Oh, Adam! Oh, Adam!”

Kris snaps his head up because he does _not_ sound like that.

“Jerk.”

-

“I’m so glad this day is almost over,” Kris sighs as he takes a seat in the back of the room next to Cale. This is his worst class of the day. Thankfully, after this semester, he will never have to take math again for as long as he lives.

“Yeah, for you,” Cale says. “I still have another class after this. Remind me to never take afternoon classes again.”

Kris agrees. As nice as it is to sleep in, he’d much rather just be done with everything by noon and have the rest of the day to himself.

“So, are you going out tonight?” Kris asks.

“Where?”

Kris shrugs. “I dunno. Adam said we’re all-”

His eyes flicker up as someone walks into the room and – _fuck his life._

Cale glances up as well. “Hey, isn’t that…”

Justin.

“Since when is he in this class?” Kris asks, looking away when Justin tries waving at him.

Cale laughs. “That’s the guy you made out with, right?”

Kris sinks in his seat. The thought of that night still makes him feel nauseous. “We didn’t make out,” Kris tells him. “He kissed me.”

“That’s not what I heard,” Cale sings, and Kris wants to stab him with his pencil.

Thankfully, Justin sits on the other side of the room next to some girl. He knows that his hatred for Justin is probably irrational – what happened is just as much Kris’s fault as it is Justin’s – but Adam hates him, so Kris figures it is his boyfriendly duty to hate him as well.

“So, what’s it like?” Cale asks, biting the end of his pencil and looking at Kris with big, questioning eyes.

“What’s what like?”

Cale leans in a little so he can whisper. “You know… with Adam.”

Kris blinks. “Cale,” he says. “I am not talking to you about my sex life.”

“Oh, come on. I’m just curious.”

He never thought Cale would be the one to ask him about this. Allison, yes. Brad, of course. But he figured Cale would be the one person who wouldn’t want to know any aspect of that part of Kris’s life.

Kris looks down at his desk because he is not making eye contact with him for this conversation. “What do you want to know?”

Cale shrugs. “I don’t know. Is it weird?”

Kris shakes his head. The only thing weird about it is that it isn’t weird. It always feels like this is where Kris is supposed to be

“Not at all.”

Cale makes an ‘hmmm’ sound and looks at Kris for a moment. “Have you actually, like… you know?”

Kris rolls his eyes. “We’re not in fifth grade, dude. You can say sex.”

“Okay, whatever,” Cale says. “So… have you?”

Kris sighs and rubs his face with his hand. “No, not yet.”

Cale nods. “Oh.”

And just when Kris thinks the conversation is over, “Are you the bottom?”

“Dude!”

Cale laughs. “Sorry, sorry,” he says. “I’ll shut up now.”

-

The second the professor dismisses them, Kris’s feet are already taking him in the direction to his room, his bed, and Adam. It has been a long day and he hasn’t seen Adam in eight hours and, as pathetic as it is, he really misses him.

He’s not even ten feet from the door when he feels a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, Kris?”

Kris slowly turns to face Justin. “Um, hey.”

Cale is next to them, glancing back and forth between the two. “Uh… I’ve got to go to class,” he says. “I’ll see you tonight, Kris.”

As soon as Cale walks away, Justin smiles, toying with the strap over his shoulder. “So, how was your break?”

“Fine,” Kris says, not sure where the hell this conversation is going. “How was yours?”

“It was good, nice to get away from school for a while,” he says. “But, um, I don’t know if you have a class after this and I don’t want to keep you waiting,” he stalls for a moment. “I was just wondering if maybe you’d want to go out for coffee sometime.”

 _Oh…_ Kris thinks, because he was not expecting that. He vaguely remembers pushing Justin away and chasing after Adam, so he’s not sure what part of that would make Justin think he is interested.

“I’m, uh…” Kris mumbles, at a loss for words. He can’t remember ever having to turn someone down before. If he wasn’t dating Adam, he’d probably say yes just so he wouldn’t have to say no. Saying ‘no’ has never been easy for Kris. “I’m sorry, but I can’t.”

Justin’s face falls. “Oh.”

“Yeah, I’m with Adam now, so…”

“Oh,” he says again. “Well, that’s cool. I guess I’ll see you around, then.”

Kris actually feels bad as he watches Justin walk away. He has absolutely no interest in the guy, but he hates disappointing people. As he walks back to the room, he debates telling Adam. He doesn’t want to make a big deal out of it, but if Adam finds out, he’s pretty sure that Adam will make a big deal out of Kris not telling him.

When Kris walks into the room, the lights are off and the window is cracked open. It’s a little chilly and Adam is curled up in bed with the covers pulled up over his head. Kris puts his books on the floor and takes off his pants before slipping in bed with Adam. He slides his arm around him from behind and buries his face in the back of Adam’s neck, kissing the soft skin there.

Adam shifts a little, pulling Kris’s arm even tighter around his waist. “How was class?”

“Stupid,” Kris mumbles into Adam’s neck. “I’m dropping out.”

Adam laughs. “Yeah, well don’t expect me to support your ass when you can’t find a job.”

“Nice to know that my boyfriend doesn’t love me enough to take care of me when I’m broke and unemployed,” he pouts.

Adam puts his hand on top of Kris’s and laces their fingers together. “You know I love you,” he says, Kris can hear the smile in his voice. “I’ll just love you more when you’re rich and successful and can afford to buy me expensive things.”

Kris’s mouth falls open and he lets go of Adam’s hand to dig his fingers into Adam’s side, tickling him. Adam squeaks, squirming in his arms and trying to get away. His laughter fills the room.

A few minutes later, Kris finds himself pinned under Adam, breathless with his cheeks hurting from laughing so much. He almost fell off the bed twice during the tickle fight, and Adam smacked his head against the wall, which just made them laugh even harder.

Adam collapses on top of him, burying his face in the crook of Kris’s neck. “That was fun.”

“Mhmm,” Kris murmurs, dropping a kiss on Adam’s forehead and slipping his hand under Adam’s shirt to rub his back. And then, he opens his mouth without even thinking before he speaks. “Guess who is in my history class?”

Adam makes a sound.

“Justin.”

He can feel Adam’s body tense and, _great,_ he thinks. _Way to kill the mood, jackass._

“Did you talk to him?” Adam asks, keeping his face hidden in Kris’s neck.

A little voice in Kris’s head is telling him to lie, but he knows that will only bite him in the ass later.

“Yeah,” he says. “He actually came up to talk to me after class.”

“Oh,” Adam says, pausing a moment before continuing. “What did he say?”

Kris shrugs, trying to make it seem like it’s not a big deal. “He asked me how my break was, and then he asked me out for coffee.”

That makes Adam sit up. “He did what?”

“Babe, it’s no big deal,” Kris says. “I told him that I’m with you and he walked away.”

Adam still doesn’t look happy. “Even if he didn’t know we were together, he still knows I have feelings for you and that alone should make him back the fuck off.”

Kris grins, trying to lighten the mood. “It’s hot when you get all possessive like this.”

Adam tries to remain serious, but he crumbles and a smile breaks out on his face. He lies back down and rests his head on Kris’s chest.

“If he asks you out again, I’m going to beat him up.”

Kris laughs. “I’m sure you will.”

“I’m serious.”

“I know,” Kris says, patting Adam’s head affectionately. “Now go back to sleep.”

-

They end up at a gay club.

When Brad told Kris where they were going, he was a little nervous at first. He has never been to a gay club, so he wasn’t sure what to expect. A part of him thought it to be like the club in that _Queer as Folk_ show Brad has made him watch a few times. It is somewhat like that. There are a lot of pretty men and flashing lights everywhere. He has never seen anything like it. Everywhere boys are kissing and dancing with each other, people are dressed in drag. This is the first time he has ever seen a drag queen in person and he never realized how gorgeous some of them are.

It surprises Kris how comfortable he feels here. It feels like the freedom to be himself. He’ll be able to touch Adam, hold his hand, kiss him, and nobody will blink an eye. Unlike the outside world, that’s considered normal here. Nobody will be there to judge.

“Come on, baby!” Adam yells over the people and the music, reaching for Kris’s hand to drag him to the dance floor. “Dance with me.”

Kris lets Adam take him to the center of the dance floor, in the midst of all the people. He feels a knot in his stomach. Dancing is not something he does well. At school dances, he would stand in the corner with his friends and occasionally let Katy drag him out for a slow dance.

He leans up on his tiptoes to talk in Adam’s ear. “I don’t know how to dance.”

Adam rolls his eyes, shaking his head a little. “That’s bullshit,” he yells in Kris’s ear. “Everyone can dance.”

Kris is pretty sure he’s the only exception. Adam obviously doesn’t care and he places Kris’s hands on his hips, and places his arms around Kris’s neck. He dips his head down so Kris can feel his breath brush against his ear. “Just move.”

So he does, and it’s just as awkward as he anticipated. His hips don’t move like Adam’s do, and he doesn’t know what to do with his feet. Adam and everyone around him look sexy and like they are having fun. Kris just feels stupid.

“You’re thinking about it too much,” Adam says. “Pretend like nobody is watching. Close your eyes.”

Kris does as he is told and closes his eyes. After getting over the initial fear of stepping on Adam’s feet, he starts to get into it. It starts to feel good. Adam’s hands are on him, all over him. It starts to feel like there is nobody else in the room but the two of them. He pulls Adam down for a kiss, opening his mouth for Adam’s tongue and threading his fingers through the thick black hair, pulling a little. Their bodies move together to the beat of the music. It feels like sex.

Adam sucks Kris’s bottom lip into his mouth before pulling away. He throws his head back, licking his lips. Kris’s eyes travel up Adam’s throat, and he leans in to press a kiss to the hot, sweaty skin.

“And you said you couldn’t dance,” Adam says, cradling Kris’s face in his hands. “You look fucking hot right now.”

There is a pit of fire in Kris’s stomach and he just _wants_. He never knew it was possible to feel this way about someone. To have so much of them and still want more, always.

“I need to get a drink,” Kris tells him, just needing a moment to catch his breath.

Before Kris can walk away, Adam pulls him in for another kiss, one with more tongue than lips. “Come find me when you’re done.”

He watches as Adam gets swallowed by the crowd of people and then goes to the bar to get water. The bartender gives him a plastic cup full and he downs half of it at once. He’s buzzing right now. All he wants to do is take Adam home.

Cale slips in next to Kris at the bar, watching him with an amused smile on his lips. “I was watching the two of you dance, and I have to say, you were the most obscene couple out there.”

If Kris’s cheeks weren’t already burning, they definitely would be now. “That’s creepy that you were watching.”

“It’s not my fault. It’s like a train wreck, when you see two people about to have sex on the dance floor, you can’t look away,” Cale grins. “Oh, and look! I got a guy’s number.”

Kris blinks. “You’re not gay.”

Cale shrugs. “I don’t care. For once, I get to be one of the cool kids.”

Kris shakes his head, laughing. “Okay, Cale.”

They go over to sit with Tommy on the couches. Kris scans the crowd for Adam, finding him sandwiched between Brad and Allison. He’s got one arm wrapped around Allison’s neck and the other up in the air, laughing and singing along to the music. A part of him wants to go back out there and dance with them, but he’s content just watching for now.

“You want something stronger than that?” Kris hears someone say, and he has to do a double take to realize the guy is talking to him. Kris holds his hand up to show him the giant black X on his hand that the bouncer put there when he walked in. The guy smiles brightly down at Kris. “I won’t tell if you won’t.”

The guy sits down next to him, forcing Kris to tear his eyes away from Adam. “No, thanks,” he says, trying to sound polite.

It’s obvious that he doesn’t know how to take a hint. “I haven’t seen you here before,” he says. “I’m Paul.”

Kris looks down at the hand Paul holds out for him to shake, but before he can do anything, Kris feels the other side of the couch sink down and an arm slip around his waist. “Sorry, Paul,” he hears Adam say from beside him. “This one is mine.”

Adam glares at Paul until he gets up and wanders off. Kris turns in his arms, grinning. “Why don’t you just put a ‘Property of Adam Lambert’ sticker on my forehead?”

Adam’s face softens and he presses his forehead against Kris’s. “I may have to if these assholes keep trying to steal you away from me.”

Kris leans in so their lips are barely touching. “Never gunna happen.”

They kiss, but it’s a lot less urgent than before. Unfortunately, Allison has a loud mouth, so it doesn’t last long.

“It’s so weird watching you guys kissing,” she says. “Like, I always knew it was going to happen, but I never thought it would actually happen, you know?”

Kris thinks that made absolutely no sense, but he ignores her and goes back to Adam.

“You should stay the night at our room,” Tommy says, hiding his smirk behind his beer bottle. “Then you’ll be able to hear them suck each other off.”

Both Kris and Adam duck their heads to hide the blush on their faces.

-

About an hour later, Kris starts to feel antsy again. They danced for a while, and now they are back on the couches making out. Adam’s hands keep sliding up Kris’s shirt and it’s driving him insane. He has had enough of this club, and he wants to go home.

“Let’s go,” Adam breathes as soon as they break the kiss, as though he read Kris’s mind.

Kris nods quickly, leaning in for one last lingering kiss before they stand. Adam lets go of his hand and walks over to Brad to whisper something in his ear. Brad glances over at Kris with a knowing smile on his lips. Kris would try to pretend that they are leaving for something other than sex, but anyone who watches them leave together knows exactly what they plan on doing.

“Come on,” Adam says, resting his hand on Kris’s lower back to guide him through the mess of people.

The fresh air feels good after being in that hot, smoky room for so long. Brad made Adam leave him the car, so they have to get a taxi. Kris doesn’t know the proper etiquette for being in a taxi with your boyfriend, but he has seen Taxicab Confessions, and some of them do much more than make out. Kris does make sure to keep his hands above Adam’s waist because it kind of smells in here and that would be tacky.

Adam tosses money over the seat for the driver and pulls Kris out of the car. They stumble inside, laughing and kissing. Kris feels all floaty and dizzy, like he’s high. Adam presses Kris against the wall of the elevator as soon as the doors open, blindly reaching for the button to their floor. Kris thinks that maybe they should slow it down, at least until they get into the room, but Adam seems to think the opposite. He slides his hands up Kris’s shirt as soon as they elevator door closes behind them. They are large and warm on Kris’s back, and he lightly runs his nails along Kris’s sides, making him shudder.

Kris doesn’t even realize the elevator door opened until Adam takes his hand and is dragging him down the hall. Adam reaches in his pocket for the key to his – _their_ – room.

“Brad and Tommy said they’d find somewhere else to sleep tonight,” Adam says as they step in the room, pushing Kris towards the bed. “So, we have all night.”

Kris sits down on the bed, kicking his shoes off. “Did you plan this?”

Adam smiles shyly down at him. “Maybe.”

It doesn’t take long for them to get out of their clothes. Kris can’t help but smile when Adam pulls his shirt off with no hesitation at all. A couple of weeks ago, Adam was so self-conscious about his own body and he didn’t know what he was and wasn’t allowed to do. Now, there is nothing but confidence. He’s not afraid to take his clothes off, and he knows exactly what Kris likes, and he’s really fucking good at it.

Also, Adam really loves sucking cock. They both figured that out the very first time he ever gave Kris a blowjob. It was messy and Adam had no technique at all, but he enjoyed the hell out of it, they both did.

He watches as Adam lowers his head, his tongue darting out to taste Kris. He must’ve made some kind of noise because Adam glances up at him, smirking at him before leaning back down to take the head between his lips and sucks. Kris holds his breath, trying to stay quiet, but then he remembers that there isn’t anyone in the other room, listening through the walls. He relaxes, and lets himself go.

Adam doesn’t waste any time. He swallows him down all the way until Kris can feel the tip of his cock bump against the back of Adam’s throat. Kris whimpers, mindlessly reaching down to tangle his fingers through Adam’s hair, pulling harder than he meant to.

Adam moans around his cock, pulling back. “Do that again.”

Kris looks down at him, confused and annoyed – why did he stop? “What?”

“My hair,” Adam says, his lips red and wet and _jesus fucking christ_ , Kris needs him to go back to what he was doing. “Pull it.”

Kris has no choice but to oblige because Adam runs his tongue along the underside of Kris’s cock, making him tug Adam’s hair even harder. He takes him all the way down once more, licking and sucking. Kris bucks his hips, thrusting into his hot, wet mouth, choking him a bit. Adam clenches his throat around Kris’s cock, and that’s when he loses it. Kris comes, gasping for breath and his nails digging into Adam’s scalp. He swallows all of it, leaning back on his heels and licking his lips like it is the best thing he has ever tasted.

Adam crawls back up the bed, swirling his tongue in Kris’s mouth so he can taste himself. “That was _awesome_!” Adam grins, somehow resembling an excited puppy despite the fact the he just gave Kris an incredible blowjob.

When Kris’s limbs no longer feel like jelly, he turns them over and kisses his way down Adam’s stomach. He takes Adam’s cock in his hand and strokes it a few times, licking his lips. Adam isn’t the only one who loves doing this. Kris can’t take as much of Adam in his mouth, and he’s probably not as good at it, but he loves making Adam fall apart.

“Wait,” Adam breathes, reaching down to pull Kris back up before he can even do anything.

Kris frowns. “Did I do something wrong?”

Adam shakes his head. “No no no, oh my god, no,” he laughs. “I just--”

Kris waits for him to finish, but Adam looks away, a blush creeping up his neck. He leans down to press a kiss to the corner of Adam’s mouth. “Adam, what is it?” he asks. “You can tell me.”

Adam’s eyes flicker back up to meet Kris’s, looking as scared and vulnerable as he did the first time they ever did this. “I want to fuck you,” Adam says so quietly that Kris isn’t sure that he heard him right. “I mean, only if you want to. I have no problem just doing this.”

Kris doesn’t even hesitate. He captures Adam’s mouth in a kiss, smiling against his lips. “I want to,” he says. This is all he has been thinking about ever since they bought the condoms. He has been constantly wondering when the right moment will come, when they will finally get to use them.

Relief washes over Adam’s face. “Really?”

Kris nods. He’s ready. At least, he thinks he is.

They kiss for a while, and then Adam pushes Kris away, sliding off the bed and going over to his desk. He opens the drawer and pulls out the condoms and lube, still in the plastic bag from the day they bought them. Kris watches Adam, naked and hard. He reaches out to touch Adam before he can even get back in bed. Kris takes the bag from him and places it to the side before crawling in his lap. They kiss, and it’s a little too messy, and a little too rough. Their hands are all over each other, grabbing and scratching. Adam breaks the kiss and latches on to Kris’s neck, sucking a bruise there. Kris knows he’s going to be marked up by the morning.

Kris tilts Adam’s face up with his finger and kisses him. He’s hard again and he adjusts himself on Adam’s lap so their cocks rub together. One of Adam’s hands pats the area around them for the bag and once Kris hears the rustle of the plastic, he pulls back, breathless.

“So, we’re really doing this?” Kris asks, feeling anxious and scared but wanting it so much.

Adam nods, stretching his neck up to place a soft kiss on Kris’s lips. “Yeah.”

Kris sits back on Adam’s legs, reaching over to grab the box of condoms. He takes a deep breath to calm his nerves. “You said you wanted to--”

“Yeah,” Adam says softly, taking the condoms from Kris. “I really want to fuck you.”

Kris nods his head, wrapping his arms around Adam’s neck nervously toying with the hair on the back of his neck. “Okay, so… how are we going to do this?”

Adam glances down at the bed and back up at Kris. “Lie down.”

Kris crawls off Adam’s lap and lies down on his back, resting his hands on his stomach. Adam kneels between his legs, his eyes roaming Kris’s body. He chuckles nervously. “Holy fuck, I can’t believe we’re doing this.”

He watches Adam open the box and tear off a condom, dropping the rest of the box and the bag on the floor. Kris notices Adam’s hands are shaking. He sits up and takes both of Adam’s hands in his own.

“Hey,” Kris whispers, bringing Adam’s hand up to kiss his knuckles. “What’s the matter?”

Adam squeezes his hands. “I just – I really want to do this, but I’m just,” he sucks in a deep breath. “I’m so scared that I’ll hurt you or you won’t like it.”

Kris places his hands on either side of Adam’s face and kisses him, trying to quell his panic. “Adam, neither of us knows what the heck we’re doing, and it probably will hurt a little, but I’m prepared for that. And maybe we won’t be good at it,” he smiles, trying to ease the tension. “That just means we’ll have to keep doing it until we are good at it.”

Adam laughs, gently running his thumb over Kris’s knuckles. He peers up at Kris through his eyelashes. “I love you, Kris.”

Kris bends forward to softly kiss Adam’s forehead, and then his nose. “I love you, too.”

He lies back down on the bed.

Adam contemplates for a moment, his bottom lip tucked between his teeth. Kris gets the feeling that Adam has thought about this a lot, what way he would put Kris when they finally did it. “Spread your legs,” Adam says, grabbing the bottle of lube and popping the cap open.

Kris does as he is told and spreads his legs, watching Adam slick his fingers with lube. Adam brings a hand to Kris’s thigh, teasing it with his fingers. “You’re so fucking gorgeous, Kris,” Adam says, bending down to place a kiss on the inside of Kris’s thigh.

He closes his eyes as he feels Adam’s fingers press against his opening, holding his breath as he waits for the discomfort. Adam slips a finger in slowly. “ _Fuck_ ,” Adam gasps. “That’s hot.”

Kris opens his eyes and glances down. Adam is watching as he slowly eases his finger in and out of him. It doesn’t hurt or anything, but it feels kind of weird. His head falls back against the pillows. “Another finger,” he tells Adam.

He feels himself stretch around Adam’s two fingers and it doesn’t hurt, but it doesn’t feel that good either. He takes a few deep breaths, trying to make himself relax. He opens his mouth to say something, but then Adam twists his fingers and – _holy shit._

“I don’t know what you just did,” Kris gasps, “but do it again.”

Adam does it again and Kris groans, clutching the sheets in his fist. He spreads his legs wider and Adam adds a third finger. “Does it feel good?” Adam asks, fucking Kris even harder with his fingers. It hurts a little, but it feels so fucking good that Kris doesn’t want him to stop, ever.

Kris nods, feeling himself clench around Adam’s fingers. He hears the sound of Adam opening the foil packet and Kris opens his eyes as Adam tries to open it one handed. “Here,” Kris says, taking it from Adam’s hand so he doesn’t have to stop what he’s doing. He takes the condom out and throws the wrapper to the floor. For a moment he hesitates, but then he sits up to roll the condom on to Adam’s cock, giving it a little squeeze before lying back down.

Adam pulls his fingers out from Kris’s ass, causing Kris to let out a little whimper, but he’s anxious for what is coming. Adam reaches for the lube again and squeezes some into his palm. Kris pushes himself up on his elbows and watches as Adam slicks himself up, and it is undoubtedly the hottest thing Kris has ever seen in his life. Without even thinking about it, Kris’s hand wanders down between his legs, pressing a finger against his stretched hole. He is still wet from the lube Adam used, so his finger slides in easily. His eyes fall closed, panting a little as he fucks himself.

He hears Adam’s soft moan and he snaps his eyes open to see Adam watching him. “Kris, if you don’t stop that, I’m going to come before I even get the chance to fuck you.”

Kris smiles sheepishly, pulling his fingers out and lying back down on the bed. “Sorry.”

Adam braces himself over Kris, holding himself up with one arm and his cock still in his other hand. “Are you ready?”

Kris nods, reaching up to grasp Adam’s arm. He feels as Adam rubs the tip of his cock against his hole before slowly easing in. He exhales the breath he didn’t even realize he was holding when Adam is in all the way.

It hurts, but not bad enough to make him want to stop. Adam is panting above him, his eyes closed and his mouth slack. “Oh my _god_.”

Kris takes a moment to get used to the feeling. It just hits Kris that they are really doing this. They are having sex and Kris thinks he might die if Adam doesn’t move.

“Adam,” he says, “move.”

Adam slides back out and pushes in unbearably slow. Kris feels himself stretch around Adam’s cock in a way that he didn’t know was possible, and it is somehow too much but not nearly enough. He is so incredibly turned on right now and he just wants Adam to fuck him.

“I’m gunna…” Adam gasps, burying his face in Kris’s neck.

“I know,” Kris says. “Just fuck me, Adam,” he begs. “Please.”

And Adam fucks him. Kris wraps his legs around Adam’s back to pull him even closer, to make him fuck him harder. It doesn’t last long after that. Adam shudders as he comes, collapsing on top of Kris, his chest heaving. Kris’s legs fall to the side and he wraps his arms around Adam’s shoulders, running his hand up Adam’s sweaty back. His dick is trapped between them, still painfully hard.

“I need…” Kris says, jerking his hips up a little to rub off against something, anything. Adam takes the hint and snakes his arm down between them. He barely even touches him before Kris comes all over his stomach and Adam’s hand.

They both lie there for a while; the only sound in the room is their gasps for breath. Eventually Adam pulls out and it surprises Kris how empty that makes him feel. Adam peels off the condom and tosses it to the floor. When he looks back at Kris, he looks a little shy.

“I’m sorry it was over so quick,” he says, looking down at Kris’s chest instead of his face. “You’re, like, really tight and I couldn’t…”

Kris laughs and pulls Adam down for a kiss. “Don’t ever apologize,” he says, his voice low and a little worn out. “It was amazing.”

Adam beams down at him, going back in for another kiss. The next time he pulls back, he looks down at the sticky mess they made and scrunches his nose adorably.

“I think we’ll have to sleep in Tommy’s bed.”

* * *

Kris still remembers months ago – when he was still with Katy, before he fell in love – when Adam told him that nobody had ever written him a song. He didn’t even really know Adam back then. They were just roommates and it was the beginning of their friendship, but for some reason, at that moment, Kris felt obligated to write Adam one.

He did write him the one song, but that’s not enough. That song was ‘oh hey, you’re my friend and I want to make you smile’ but now Kris wants ‘you’re the love of my life, and I want to sweep you off your feet.’

So, even if they do break up someday – the thought of which kills Kris a little – Adam will never be able to have someone else write him his first song.

For days he has been scribbling lines of lyrics in the corner of his homework, sneaking up in the middle of the night to watch Adam sleep because that, in his opinion, is the best form of inspiration.

It has to be perfect.

“What are you doing?” Adam mumbles, picking his head up off the pillow to look at the clock. “It’s fucking five in the morning. Are you insane?”

Kris closes his notebook and drops it to the floor. “Sorry,” he says, crawling back in under the covers. “I had homework that I forgot to do last night.”

Adam makes a little sleepy noise and shifts to rest his head on Kris’s chest. “You’re stupid.”

Kris presses a smile into Adam’s hair. “Love you, too.”

-

Kris tries to squirm away, but the shower barely fits the two of them. “No!” he laughs, slapping Adam’s wrist. “We’re not doing that in here.”

Adam frowns, running his hands up Kris’s soapy back. “Why not?”

Kris wraps his arms around Adam’s waist and reaches up for a kiss. “Because Brad and Tommy wouldn’t appreciate if we had sex in here.”

He contemplates it for a second and then smirks, pressing Kris up against the shower wall. “I don’t care what they think.” His fingers wrap around Kris’s cock and he strokes it a few times.

“Jesus, Adam,” he groans, banging his head on the wall with a thud. His boyfriend is insatiable. Now that they have started having sex, they have lots of it. It’s like Adam is taking almost twenty years of sexual frustration out on him. And, as sore as Kris is, he really can’t complain.

Kris shudders when he comes, both hands grasping at the walls because his knees feel like they are about to give out. Before he can return the favor, Adam is reaching around him to turn off the water. They step out of the shower and Adam towels off Kris’s body.

All of a sudden Tommy’s voice comes from behind the door. “Did you guys just have sex in there?”

Kris covers his mouth so Tommy can’t hear him laugh.

“Yeah,” Adam calls out. “Kris came in your wash cloth.”

There is a long pause.

“You’re joking, right?”

-

Adam stands in front of the mirror, poking at his hair. “Oh my god. I have to leave in five minutes.”

It’s a combination of I-went-to-bed-with-my-hair-wet and sex hair. Basically, it makes him look like a peacock. A cute, cuddly peacock. Kris turns back to the TV, flipping through the channels. He leaves it on Sesame Street. Snuffleupagus was always his favorite.

“Okay,” Adam says, sitting on the edge of the bed to put on his shoes. His hair is pushed back in a beanie. “I’ll be back in a little while.”

Kris moves his eyes from the screen to look at Adam. “Where are you going?”

“Alli and I are going to get pedicures for my birthday,” Adam says, holding his foot out and wriggling his toes. “Wanna come?”

Kris snorts. “No.”

“Fine,” he says. “They wouldn’t want to touch your hairy feet anyway.”

Kris self consciously curls his toes. “Hey!” he pouts. His feet aren’t _that_ hairy.

Adam grins and leans down to kiss him on the lips. “So, you’re taking me out to dinner tonight?”

“Mhmm,” Kris murmurs against his lips. “Just let me know where you want to go.”

They kiss a few more times before Adam gets back up. “Bye, baby.”

Kris watches him walk out and waits about five seconds after the door closes to whip out his phone.

 _he’s gone._

“What the fuck, Kris?” he hears Brad yell from the next room and then the door swings open. “You’re twenty feet away and you had to text me that he left. You lazy shit.”

Kris ignores him and turns off the TV. “You think he’ll be mad that we’re taking his car without asking?”

Brad shrugs. “I doubt it.”

“The last time he let me drive I had to…” he trails off. That is not something Brad needs to hear. “I don’t know. I just feel bad about it.”

“Jesus christ, Kris. You’re about to give him like the most romantic fucking birthday gift of all time and you think he’s going to be worried about his car?”

Well, when he puts it that way. Kris grabs Adam’s keys and they head out.

-

Kris shifts around in the driver’s seat, still a little sore from this morning.

“So, I noticed a couple of empty condom wrappers in your room,” Brad says, watching Kris.

Kris keeps his eyes set on the road.

“Does your ass hurt?”

He makes the mistake of peering over at Brad, his ears burning.

Brad snickers. “I thought so.”

-

“Are you sure he’ll like flowers?” Kris asks, looking at all the arrangements on display. He has never put this much effort into anyone’s birthday before, and this is just the first surprise he has planned for Adam.

Brad runs his fingers along a bouquet of purple flowers. “Honey, you’re dating a princess. Of course he’ll like flowers.”

Kris smiles. “Okay, so what would he like?”

This is what he needs Brad for. The few times he bought Katy flowers, they were just ones from the grocery store on Valentine’s Day. For this, he wants to go big. Kris wants to give Adam everything he’s never had before.

“How about some red roses?” Kris asks, because he doesn’t think he can really go wrong with that.

Brad comes over to look. His face falls and he lets out a small whine. “I’m jealous.”

Kris looks at him. “Of what?”

He waves his hand around at all of the flower arrangements. “All of this,” he says. “I’ve never had a guy do this for me.”

Kris feels his heart tear a little. He brings a hand up to rub Brad’s back. “They would if you let them.”

He knows any guy would be lucky to have Brad and they would treat him like royalty. The only problem is that Brad never lets a guy stick around long enough to make that happen.

Brad sighs. “I guess.”

“How about this…” Kris starts. “For your birthday, I will buy you a huge bouquet of flowers and take you out to dinner, if you don’t already have a boyfriend.”

Brad ducks his head and looks up at Kris through his eyelashes, his lips twitch into a small smile. “Purple roses?”

Kris chuckles and nods. “Purple roses.”

-

Kris takes Adam out for Mexican food because that is what Adam just _has_ to have, even though Kris doesn’t really like it. “But it’s my birthday,” he keeps saying, so Kris just goes with it and gives him whatever he wants. His friends tell him that he’s whipped all the time and, yeah, he probably is, but what’s so wrong with wanting to make Adam happy?

“I can’t believe I’m going to be twenty tomorrow,” Adam says, making a face like he just ate something sour. “That sounds so _old_.”

Kris stuffs a tortilla chip in his mouth. “Oh yeah, you’re such an old man.”

Adam swirls his straw around in his glass. “I am,” he says. “You’re only eighteen. That makes me feel like a cradle robber, or something.”

“Fine,” Kris says, popping another chip in his mouth. “We just won’t have sex anymore now that you’re so old.”

Adam shakes his head, getting that look in his eye. “Nuh uh. We are having sex as soon as we get home,” he says, his voice low. “And then about ten times tomorrow because it’s my birthday and I said so.”

Kris lets out a shaky breath, debating on whether or not they should just get their food to go. But, no. This is supposed to be romantic. Rushing home to have sex is not a part of the plan. Food first, then some wine, and _then_ the sex.

“We can’t spend all day in bed tomorrow,” Kris says. “We have plans to celebrate.”

“Yeah, I know,” he says. “I wish Cale’s open mic thing wasn’t tomorrow. That’s not really where I want to spend my birthday.”

Kris’s heart literally stops beating for about five seconds. They need to go to open mic. It’s crucial that they go. Everything Kris has been working on for the past two weeks would be a waste if they don’t.

“We can just go for a while,” he says, “and then leave once Cale finishes and go do whatever you want.”

Adam sighs. “I guess it won’t…” he trails off when he hears clapping from the other side of the restaurant, and then slowly turns to Kris. “You did not!” About five waitresses appear, walking to their table with a plate of chocolate cake and singing a birthday song in Spanish. “I knew that’s what you were doing when you went to the bathroom!”

Kris watches as they sing their song to Adam. His face is cherry red and he covers his eyes with his hands, peeking out between his fingers and laughing. They put the cake on the table and two forks, and Adam thanks them, waiting for them to walk away before he turns back to Kris.

“I hate you so much,” Adam says, but the grin on his face makes Kris think otherwise.

He reaches over to take Adam’s hand, entwining their fingers together. “So, are you having a good birthday so far?”

Adam squeezes his hand and smiles, his mouth full of chocolate cake. “The best.”

-

A knock on their door wakes them up. Kris moves to get up to answer it, but then he remembers.

“Adam, wake up.” He kicks his ankle until Adam groans into the pillow. “Someone’s at the door.”

Adam doesn’t even flinch. “They’ll go away.”

“No,” Kris says, a little desperate. Adam _really_ needs to answer the door. “Can you just get it? It might be important.”

Adam picks his head up and eyes him suspiciously. Kris juts his bottom lip out a little before Adam can use the ‘but it’s my birthday!’ excuse. Finally Adam rolls out of bed and slips on his sweat pants to answer the door. Kris listens as he talks to the guy, hearing Adam say, “yeah, that’s me,” and “those are for me?”

When Adam looks at him, his face is definitely worth the extra money to have the flowers delivered to the room.

“You bought me roses?” Adam’s voice is soft and there is a little crease between his eyebrows that he always gets when he looks like he’s about to cry.

Adam climbs back in bed, handling the roses carefully and bringing them to his nose to smell. Kris watches as Adam delicately runs the tips of his fingers over the petals.

“They were for my other boyfriend,” Kris says. “He must’ve delivered them to the wrong room.”

“Well too bad for him,” Adam says, not even looking up from the roses. “I’m keeping them.”

Adam brings them to his nose again and then looks at Kris, reaching up to touch the side of his face. He doesn’t say anything, just leans in to kiss him softly. They part their lips and press their foreheads together.

“Happy birthday.”

-

An hour later they lie in bed, Kris with his head on Adam’s chest while Adam twirls a single rose with his fingers.

“Sometimes I still can’t believe this is real,” Adam says out of nowhere.

Kris tilts his head up to look at him, sleepy and confused. “Can’t believe what is real?”

Adam runs his fingernails up Kris’s spine. “You and me,” he whispers. “Sometimes I wake up and I’ll see you there and think… oh, he’s really here.”

Kris thinks that’s stupid. “Where else would I be?”

Adam smiles down at him, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “I’m keeping you forever, just so you know.”

Kris just snuggles in closer.

He has no problem with forever.

-

They are woken up the next time by Kris’s phone going off. He blindly reaches for it on the nightstand and blinks one eye open to look at the time.

 _Shit._

He gets out of bed and quickly slips on his boxers and searches for a pair of pants. Leaving Adam is the absolute last thing he wants to do right now, but he needs to for at least an hour or so.

“Where are you going?” Adam asks, sitting up and staring up at him with a puzzled look. His hair is sticking up everywhere and his lips are red and a little swollen. It takes everything in him not to get back in bed.

“I have to meet up with Cale,” he tells him.

Adam’s face falls. “On my birthday?”

Kris can’t even think of an excuse that would work and he really wants to take that sad look off of Adam’s face. “I know, I know, I’m a jerk,” he says, “but I promised Cale I’d stop by for a little while to go over his song for tonight.”

Which isn’t a total lie.

“Okay,” Adam says, a weak smile on his lips. “Do you know when you’ll be back?”

Kris buttons up his jeans and goes over to give Adam a kiss. “I’ll just be an hour,” he promises. “Then when I come back, I’m yours for the rest of the night.”

Adam nods, but he still looks like he doesn’t get why Kris has to leave.

“Just don’t be mad at me, babe,” Kris says, petting the side of his face. “Please?”

Adam sighs. “I’m not mad,” he says. “Now go before I change my mind and tie you to the bed.”

Kris grins and leans back in for another kiss. “I’ll be back.”

-

“It just doesn’t seem right.”

Cale groans, rubbing his face with his hand. “My god, Kris. The song is fine. Adam’s going to, like, piss himself when he hears it.”

“Seriously, dude. If I liked guys and my boyfriend wrote me this song,” Matt says, “I’d be all over him.”

Kris hopes they are right. He’s been working his ass off on this song, writing lyrics in class instead of paying attention, spending late nights in Cale’s dorm to work on it. It needs to be absolutely perfect. It’s not only Adam that will be hearing it, all of their friends and the people at the open mic. Kris has never really played in front of a crowd before. He’s nervous.

Kris owes Cale his life for agreeing to do this with him. He planned on doing it by himself, but the song sounds better with another guitar, and it might take the pressure off of him a little if he has Cale up there with him.

“Does Adam have any idea?” Matt asks.

He shakes his head. “Not a clue,” Kris says. “This morning I surprised him with flowers and he thought that was a big deal. I can’t imagine what he’ll do after this.”

Matt and Cale look at each other and start laughing. “You bought him flowers?”

Kris tries to shrug it off like it’s no big deal. “Yeah, he’s never gotten flowers before.”

“Man, I remember when I met you and you got all defensive when I thought you were gay,” Matt says. “Now look at you. You’re about to serenade your boyfriend in front of a bunch of people.”

The thought of it makes his palms sweat.

-

Kris loves kissing. Especially when it’s moments like this, sharing slow, lazy kisses, taking the time to explore each other’s mouths with their tongues, knowing it’s not going to go any further than this. Adam feels so good underneath him, and his hands are large and warm on Kris’s back. Every so often, he feels Adam breathe a soft little sigh, smiling against his mouth.

He pulls back after a while, his finger tracing along the shell of Adam’s ear. “You should probably finish getting ready,” he says, but then leans back down to continue kissing Adam, not making any motions to get up.

Adam curls his fingers in Kris’s hair and kisses him harder. Kris melts against him, taking that as a ‘no’. But then, unfortunately, there’s a knock at the door.

They both look up. “More flowers?”

Kris looks down at him. “Do I look like I’m made of money?”

Adam clicks his tongue, grinning up at him. “You’re such a brat.”

He delves his tongue in Kris’s mouth one last time before pushing him to the side to see who it is. Kris watches as he slowly cracks the door open, peeking out like something is going to pop out at him.

“Oh my god,” he gasps, and then the door flies open and Danielle plasters herself all over him. “What are you doing here?”

She kisses him on the cheek and he lifts her up in a hug. “It’s your birthday, dumbass,” she says as he sets her back down. “Why wouldn’t I be here?”

“You didn’t come last year,” Adam says.

Danielle glances over at Kris. “Well, last year you didn’t have a sweet boyfriend who called me up to tell me that it would be a nice surprise for me to come here for your birthday.”

Adam looks at Kris over his shoulder, smiling softly. “You did?”

The way Adam is looking at him makes his heart race.

“Oh!” Danielle says, opening her bag to pull out two bottles, “and I brought the alcohol.”

Adam makes an approving noise and takes them from her as she walks over to Kris to give him a kiss on the cheek. “Hey sweetie,” she says, and takes a seat next to him on the bed, looking at the roses on the nightstand.

“Please tell me you didn’t get him flowers, too,” she says, staring at Kris with disbelief.

Kris blushes, palming the back of his neck. “I did.”

“You spoil him rotten,” she says. “Adam, can I have your boyfriend?”

Adam makes his way over to them with three shot glasses in his hands and they both take one from him. “Sure,” he says, sitting down on the other side of Kris, “but I’ll need him back by tonight.”

They clink their glasses together and cheers to Adam’s birthday.

-

Kris only takes two shots to calm his nerves a little, and then makes sure to cut Adam off too because he does not want him to be completely wasted by the time they get to the open mic. It would be hard to sing to someone if they can’t even see straight.

Cale is there when they get there, giving Kris a thumbs up. They sit at a table pretty close to the stage. There is already a girl up there and she’s really good. That just makes Kris even more nervous. He made sure that Cale didn’t put them too far down on the list because he knows that Adam would rather be somewhere else.

“Oh, I like her,” Adam says as they sit down at the booth, draping his arm around Kris’s shoulders.

As each person gets off the stage, Kris feels his nerves building up more and more. He can’t stop tapping his foot against the floor and cracking his knuckles. His throat keeps getting dry so he has had two glasses of water already. Everyone else at the table keep sneaking glances at him, looking excited. Kris is thankful that they have all managed to keep their mouths shut about it.

A guy walks on stage with a piece of paper and sits on the stool. “We’re on after the poem guy,” he remembers Cale telling him a little while ago. Kris feels his stomach drop.

“What’s wrong?” Adam whispers in his ear. “You’re all fidgety.”

Kris looks up at him and tries to put on a poker face, even though he feels like he’s about to have a nervous breakdown. “Nothing,” he says, “I’m just… I’m fine.”

Adam seems to believe him because all he does is press a kiss to Kris’s temple and give his shoulder a gentle squeeze.

A moment later, Cale appears next to him and nods his head towards the stage. Kris sucks in a deep breath to calm down the dinosaurs in his belly, and takes Adam’s hand on his shoulder and kisses his palm before sliding out of the booth.

Adam looks up at him quizzically. “Where are you going?”

Kris ignores him and heads up to the stage with Cale. There aren’t too many people here, but it is still more than the three people he has ever played in front of. He feels the heat of the lights on his back as he takes his guitar and puts the strap over his shoulder. Once he feels the strings beneath his fingertips, all of his fears slip away.

He turns to see if Cale is ready and then steps up to the microphone, his eyes darting over the crowd, spotting Adam watching him with wide eyes.

Kris clears his throat. “So, uh…” he starts, never thinking this part through. “I’m Kris, and this is Cale.” There are a few scattered claps, probably all from his table. “Before I start, I just have to announce that today is my boyfriend’s birthday.” That gets everyone to clap. “Everyone say ‘happy birthday, Adam!’”

And they actually do. Kris smiles, because that was kind of cool.

“Anyway,” he continues. “I’m kind of a crappy boyfriend and I can’t afford to buy him nice things for his birthday, so I wrote him a song instead.” He licks his lips and looks over at Adam again. His mouth is hanging open a bit, looking stunned. “It’s called _Beautiful_.”

He closes his eyes as he starts playing, his fingers moving effortlessly over the strings. His biggest fear was forgetting the lyrics of the song, but when he brings his mouth to the mic, it feels like he is singing a song he has known his entire life.

This time when he opens his eyes to seek out Adam, he is watching him with one hand covering his mouth and the other gripping Brad’s hand at his side. Danielle is behind him, draped over his back with her chin resting on his shoulder, smiling softly.

At that moment he feels so much intensity, so much emotion twisting in his stomach. He takes it all out on his guitar and through his voice. He forgets about everyone else there watching him, and focuses solely on Adam because this is for him. It’s all for him.

Kris’s voice cracks at the last note and he closes his eyes again as people begin to cheer, screams coming from his friends. He hands his guitar to Cale and hops off stage, making his way over to Adam.

Adam's eyes are brimming with tears, and his mouth is gaping open and closed, like he’s searching for the right words to say. He finally settles for, “ _Kris._ ”

Kris’s feels something coiling in his chest, making it almost impossible to breathe. He cradles Adam’s face in his hands, stroking his cheeks with his thumbs before leaning down to capture his mouth in a kiss. Adam’s breath catches in his throat and reaches his hands up to grab Kris’s shirt, pulling him even closer.

When they break the kiss, they are both breathless. Adam is looking up at him with so much want and love and adoration in his eyes that it causes Kris to stagger where he stands.

There’s nothing left for Kris to do but lean back in for another kiss.

* * *

 **Seven months later.**

The taxi pulls up to the curb and Kris hands some money to the driver. He steps out of the car and throws his bag over his shoulder and grabs his guitar, having left the rest of his belongings here when he visited a few weeks ago.

He stands there and stares up at the apartment complex before him and a feeling settles in his stomach. It’s a combination of fear and excitement, and when you just know that a new chapter in your life is about to begin.

They are on the second floor and he pulls out the key to their apartment, sliding it in the lock and slowly easing the door open. He has only been in here once when they were apartment hunting this summer, but then there was nothing but the kitchen appliances and a couch. Now, as he looks around, there are paintings on the walls, rugs and curtains. It’s a little bit of the four of them, all having input in the decorating.

Kris drops his bag on the floor and wanders into the kitchen first. There are already a couple of pictures held up by magnets on the fridge. He runs a finger over the edges of the one of him and Adam from when he was here in June, celebrating their sixth month anniversary because, “It’s my first sixth month anniversary and I’m fucking celebrating it,” Adam had said, so Kris had no choice but to fly out to San Diego for the week.

The summer was difficult. All he did was work and save every dime he earned. Occasionally he would hang out with Katy and her new boyfriend, or Charles. He went camping for a weekend with his father and brother and it is finally starting to feel like everything is back to how it used to be, except now he has Adam.

He only got to visit Adam twice during the three months they were off. Every day dragged by so slowly and he counted down the days until he would be back here to spend the next nine months with his boyfriend and his friends. Kris loves Arkansas, but Los Angeles is his home now.

Kris walks down the hallway, passing the other two bedrooms until he gets to the end of the hall where the master bedroom is – their bedroom. He can hear a little thumping of music from behind the door. Slowly, he pushes it open, peeking in through the crack.

A smile breaks out over his face as he takes in the scene in front of him. Adam’s wiggling his hips, holding a hammer in one hand and a nail in the other, mumbling the words to the song that’s playing on the radio. Kris stands there for a moment, watching him with amusement. When Adam finishes hammering the nail in the wall, he picks up a picture frame, a collage of pictures of the two of them.

He quietly takes a couple steps forward, slipping his arms around Adam’s waist. Adam yelps and drops the hammer on the floor. “I love a man that’s good with his hands,” Kris chuckles against his ear, dropping a soft kiss there.

“Kris?” Adam squeaks, turning around to take Kris in his arms. “Holy fuck, baby, oh my god.” He takes Kris’s face in his hands, kissing him hard on the mouth. “I was supposed to pick you up tonight. What are you doing here?”

Kris pushes himself up on his toes to kiss him again. “I wanted to surprise you.”

He opens his mouth to say something, but instead settles for another kiss. Adam’s lips stretch into a grin under his. “Missed you so much.”

Kris just tightens his arms around Adam’s waist and kisses him harder because, fuck, he missed him too. The whole long distance thing doesn’t work for them at all and Kris would prefer to never have to do it again.

When they finally stop kissing, Kris just hugs him, resting his head on Adam’s chest as he takes a look around their room. It’s the perfect combination of the two of them. His guitar that Adam bought him for his birthday is on its stand in the corner and their bed sheets are blue because it was the only color they could both agree on. Kris laughs when he looks at the curtains. They got into a heated argument over them a couple of weeks ago that made Adam hang up and refuse to talk to him for twelve hours.

He already knows that only one of the drawers in their dresser belongs to him, and his clothes only take up about two feet in their closet while Adam gets the rest. It’s not a very big room, but it’s theirs and Kris loves it already.

A voice comes from the doorway. “Look, sweetie, daddy is home!”

Kris glances over his shoulder at Brad, holding a little ball of fur in his hands. Kris can’t help but smile as he walks over, taking their puppy from him. Since they got Darla, he has only been able to spend a few days with her, but Adam always had her with him during their nightly Skype dates.

He kisses the top of her head and holds her up. “Hey, baby girl,” he grins. “I missed you.”

Darla licks his nose a couple of times and he kisses her again.

“What about me?” Brad says, holding his arms out for a hug.

Kris puts the puppy on the floor and steps forward to hug Brad. “I missed you, too.”

Brad kisses his cheek and squeezes him tight. They haven’t seen each other since May and Kris has missed him like crazy. It’s nice to know that he’s living right down the hall.

“Well, I have to start getting ready for my date,” Brad says when they pull apart. “Tony is taking me out to dinner.”

Tony is Brad’s, well, not exactly boyfriend, but the guy he goes out with. They met a month before the semester ended and kept in touch all summer.

“Come on, honey,” Brad says, bending down to pick up Darla. “Let’s leave so mommy and daddy can get reacquainted with each other’s body parts.”

Kris covers his face with his hand and shakes his head. When Brad closes the door behind him, he peers up at Adam. “Which one of us is mommy?”

Adam debates it for a moment. “You.”

Kris laughs and stretches up to kiss him again, backing up until they fall backwards onto the bed. It’s big and comfortable and nothing like the crappy mattress they had to sleep on in the dorms. It’s their bed, and their room, and they have a dog, and Kris is fucking crazy in love with Adam.

He breaks the kiss and looks down at Adam, running a finger over his eyebrow and nose and the stubble on his cheek. Kris missed his face. He missed waking up to him every morning and falling asleep kissing him every night. He missed the way his eyes sparkle and how his smile always brightens up the room.

“What?” Adam asks, blushing a little under Kris’s gaze.

“Nothing,” Kris says, bending his neck down to kiss him. “Just looking.”

They kiss for a while after that, touching and getting back into that familiar rhythm. Even though he hasn’t seen Adam in a few weeks, it feels like no time has passed at all. Just as Adam’s hand slip under his shirt, a yawn escapes from Kris.

Adam chuckles against his mouth. “Am I boring you?”

Kris shakes his head, leaning down to kiss the corner of his mouth. “Not at all. I’ve just…” he yawns again. “I’ve been up since four and I couldn’t sleep on the plane.”

Adam maneuvers them under the covers and curls around Kris’s body just like they used to in their old bed. He laces their fingers together and rests them on the pillow, burying his nose in Kris’s hair.

“I love you,” Kris whispers, placing a soft kiss on Adam’s wrist before closing his eyes.

He feels Adam’s lips stretch into a smile against the back of his neck, pressing a couple of kisses there.

“Welcome home, baby.”

-

When Kris wakes up hours later, Adam is hovering over him, eyes shining and smiling happily. He runs a hand through Kris’s hair as he leans in for a kiss. As he pulls away, he drops down so his lips brush against Kris’s ear, and he whispers…

“Play me our song.”

 **The end.**


End file.
